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Dealing With the Police 101

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 01:  Shackles for slav...
(Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

Last night, a friend called me up and asked me to accompany him to the police station.  The police had knocked on his door, waking up his girlfriend while he was out.   When he called, they wouldn’t tell him why they wanted to talk to him.   Was it an ex trying to make his life difficult or one of his employees getting investigated?

This friend has had a number of interactions with the police, but never learned how to deal with them.  Before we left, I gave him a crash course in “stay out of jail”.

Lesson 1:  The Police Are Not Your Friends.

During an investigation, you are a suspect.   They are looking for a conviction.   There may be a “good cop” trying to “help you out”, but he is trying to put you in jail.  “Protect and Serve” doesn’t mean you.  In general, it means society as a whole.  During an investigation, they are serving the interests of the prosecutor.

Generally, they are going to look at you–as the target of their investigation–as the enemy.  This is normal.  They spend all of their time dealing with scumbags and s***heads.   Naturally, they start to assume that everyone who isn’t a cop will fall into one of those categories.

Don’t get pissed when they act rude, ignore you, or anything else.  It isn’t a lack of professionalism, it’s just a different profession.   They are using interrogation techniques that have been proven successful.   Ignore it and focus on Lesson 2.

It will feel wrong to disobey the authority you’ve been taught your entire life to obey.  You’re not.  You are standing by your rights.  Nobody cares about your future more than you do.  Certainly not the guy investigating you.

Lesson 2:  Your Lawyer is Your Friend.

The second a police interaction starts to look like they are investigating you, demand your lawyer, then see Lesson 4.    When you demand an attorney, they stop asking you questions.   You can take it back and start talking, so again, see Lesson 4.  It’s your attorney’s job to talk to the police and, if necessary, the media.  It’s your job to talk to your attorney.

You don’t need an attorney ahead of time.  Criminal defense attorneys are used to getting calls at 3AM.  It’s part of their job.   If you have a low enough income as defined by whatever jurisdiction you are being investigated in, you can get a public defender.   That’s better than nothing, but I’d prefer to hire a professional shark, even if it means mortgaging my future.   Prison is a big gamble.

Lesson 3.  Consent is Your Enemy.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

“Officer, I do not consent to any search and I would like to speak to my attorney.”  Remember this.  Memorize it.

They need probable cause, a warrant, or permission to search your stuff.   Never agree to it.   Don’t stop them if they search anyway, but never, ever agree to a search.   If the search is done improperly, your lawyer(see Lesson 2) will get the results of that searched thrown out.

It isn’t possible to get into more trouble for standing by your rights.  There is no crime on the books anywhere in the US called “Refused Consent to Search”.   Your day will not go worse because you defended your Constitutional rights.

Lesson 4.  Shut Up.

I know a few defense attorneys.   According to them, most of the people in jail either committed a crime in front of a bunch of witnesses, or they talked their way into jail.   Shut up.   You’ll want to either justify or defend yourself depending on the circumstances.  Don’t.  Shut up.  It may be one of the hardest things you ever do, but keep your mouth closed.  The only thing worse than talking is lying.  Don’t lie, just keep quiet.

There is nothing you are going to say that will make your interrogator invite you home for Christmas.   He isn’t your friend, you won’t meet his parents, you aren’t going to his birthday party.   There is absolutely no win in talking to him.  Shut up.   The answer to every question is “Lawyer.”  If the only thing you say babble is “Lawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyer”, you’re probably not going to do too badly.

In your car, the dynamic changes a bit, but the principles don’t.  When a cop pulls you over, don’t argue.  You can’t win an argument with a cop on the side of the road.  Be nice, be polite, and as soon as possible, pull into a parking lot and take as many notes about the encounter as you can.   If you are planning to fight whatever he pulled you over for, don’t give him any reason to remember you or spin his official report to make you look bad.    Again, shut up.  Catching a theme?

Gambling With Your Future

If you are being investigated by the police, your future–or some part of it–is on the line.   While you are gambling with your criminal record and your freedom, don’t forget that you are an amateur in this arena.  The police, the prosecutor, and your attorney are the professionals and the stakes can be huge.  Keep your mouth shut, call your attorney, and thank me later.

 

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Lamar Odom: The Cost of Addiction

Rumours swirl around Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian that their marriage is in trouble due to the basketball star’s addiction to recreational drugs. The couple has not been spotted together since June, and Kardashian has been photographed recently not wearing her wedding ring. On Sunday, August 25, TMZ reported that Odom had been missing for 72 hours after a dispute with Kardashian that some say was a failed intervention.

Los Angeles Hotel

On Monday, August 26, ESPN reported that Odom’s agent, Jeff Schwartz, claimed that Odom was in a Los Angeles hotel and that friends were attempting to get him help for a drug problem that the agent declined to explain further. The agent also said that Kardashian knew Odom’s whereabouts. Kardashian herself tweeted that she was unhappy with the news reports about her family, but failed to elaborate on whether the reports were true or false. ( http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/9601746/agent-disputes-report-saying-lamar-odom-missing)

History of Drug Probems

In 2001, Odom violated NBA drug policies twice in eight months, apologizing at a press conference after the second offense. Odom claimed he did not have a drug problem and was only guilty of smoking marijuana. Odom often speaks of losing his mother to colon cancer at the age of 12 and his father’s heroin addiction, eventually moving in with his grandmother. In 2006, Odom’s son, Jayden, died of sudden infant death syndrome. In 2011, a cousin who Odom was close to died of gunshot wounds in New York, and just two days after the cousin’s funeral, Odom was involved in a car accident that resulted in the death of a teenager. Odom’s chauffer driven SUV collided with a motorcycle, causing the bike to go out of control and strike a 15-year old pedestrian who died of head injuries the next day. (http://articles.latimes.com/2011/aug/02/sports/la-sp-lamar-odom-accident-20110803). Odom took a 10-day leave of absence from the Dallas Mavericks, claiming his father was ill right after the incident.

Clash over Partying

Odom Shooting
Odom Shooting (Photo credit: compujeramey)

According to insiders, Odom and Kardashian have often clashed over his partying, but that she had kept his addictions secret from her family. According to many who have known Odom well, when things are difficult for him, he likes to get away and hide, which is what some say he did when he took leave from the Mavericks and just recently when he disappeared for a few days. (http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20728355,00.html) Insiders are reporting that Kardashian is contemplating divorce, which will be costly for Odom as there is a strong infidelity clause in the couple’s prenuptial agreement, and there are rumors that Odom has been unfaithful.

High Cost of Addiction

Most of the rumors surrounding the Kardashian Odom marriage are related to the fact that two women have come forward claiming affairs with Odom while he was married to Kardashian, and not due to his drug use. However, the fact that there is a strong fidelity clause in the prenuptial agreement indicates that Kardashian may be unwilling to ignore his dalliances. If it is proven that Odom committed adultry and the couple divorces, Kardashian retains the Tarzana mansion the couple share, $500,000 for every year they were married, two vehicles, shopping money and spousal support. However, many reports continue that infidelity is not the problem in the marriage, but Odom’s continued use of drugs. Odom checked into a San Diego rehab in 2012, but left after only three weeks, and insiders claim that Odom’s recent disappearance was related to an intervention, staged by Kardashian, to encourage him to return to rehab.

Regardless of whether the marriage ends due to infidelity or drug use, it appears that addiction may be a costly proposition for Odom due to the clause in his prenuptial agreement.

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Giving It All Away

Monday, I start a new job, but I wasn’t actively looking for a new job.

In fact, over the last month, while I wasn’t actively looking for a new job, I’ve had 5 job offers.  Solid job offers.  Some of them came after I announced I was leaving.

How does that happen?

First, I’m good at what I do.   At my last job, the company that developed the software system I managed would refer other customers to me if they wanted to do something the software wasn’t designed to do.  I had a reputation for doing the impossible.

Second, I give it away.   When somebody asks me for help, I do.  When I can, I try to share as much of my knowledge as possible.  I don’t hoard what I know, scared that somebody will steal it.   That has led to a number of people who make it a habit to call me before pitching an idea or moving forward on a new strategy.  “Jason, is this possible?  What would it take?”   If I can, I answer those questions, even if I’m not going to be doing the work.

Third, I’m not afraid of my limits.   If I don’t know the answer, I say so.  If I don’t know how to find the answer, I say that, too.   Admitting you don’t know something automatically makes everything else you say sound more credible.

In the case of the job I’ve accepted, I was available for my new supervisor for more than a year before he started with the company.  I helped him plan the websites and social media strategies around his book.   When he accepted his job, our next conversation progressed from “Let me ask you something” to “I’d like to hire you” over the course of a lunch because of the long foundation we had together.   At every step of the interview process, I continued to share. As we discussed the website, the social media, the marketing plans, I gave my feedback as thoroughly as possible, before I had a job offer.

Giving away my knowledge and experience with no expectations has consistently helped me to improve myself and my situation.   It helps that I enjoy being helpful.  I kind of dig being treated like an expert, too.

How about you? Do you share selflessly, or do you keep what you know to yourself?

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Repair Plans, Appliances, and Rancid Meat…Oh, My!

Older refrigerator model, with freezer compartment
Image via Wikipedia

We recently had our annual barbecue.   (For the purists, I am Minnesotan.  Barbecue means “cooked over fire”.)   Due to massive scheduling conflicts, it was a bit smaller than normal; only about 20 people came.  At least 10 other people RSVP-ed that they were going to make it, but didn’t.  Grr.

Naturally, we had food for everyone said they would be there and enough for half of the people who didn’t say anything, since Minnesotans don’t RSVP well.  That translates to a lot of leftovers.   No problem.  After all, leftover ribs are hardly a punishment.

Sunday morning, we woke up to find that our refrigerator was happier at room temperature than the standard “cold”.  We didn’t know it at the time, but the defrost unit was borked, so the cold air couldn’t circulate from the freezer to the refrigerator.  Bye-bye leftovers.  Hello, Mr. Repairman.  We needed an excuse to clean out the fridge, anyway, but not at the price of my beautifully seared meat! (Sadness strikes.)

Monday evening, the repairman came out, worked for 2 hours and left a functional refrigerator and a $240 invoice in his wake.  Thankfully, we are on the appliance repair plan through the gas company.  We pay $26.40 per month to cover repairs to our range, water heater, furnace, drier, sewer main, and refrigerator.  The first four items are standard, the final two are options that cost extra.

We originally got on the plan for the sewer main.  We had a tree whose roots grew into the main and clogged it every year.  A backed-up sewer main is a crappy way to wake up.   Getting that snaked to the street cost $200 per year.  At the time, without the refrigerator, the plan cost about $12 per month.  One $200 call-out more than paid for the plan for the year.  That was easy math.   Now, our 20 year old refrigerator has been repaired twice in the last year, giving us $500 worth of repairs for $316.80.   I would like to take this time to thank all of the people with reliable appliances for subsidizing my repairs.

My furnace, drier, and range are all reasonably new and shouldn’t need repairs any time soon, but the refrigerator and sewer main have paid for the plan themselves, several times over.

Should you get a similar plan?  If your covered appliances are more than 4-5 years old, I would consider it.  If they are more than 10 years old, I wouldn’t hesitate at all.  Repairing quality appliances is cheaper than replacing them, especially when the repair cost is paid monthly and subsidized.

Do you use a service plan?

Kris Jenner’s $125 Million Divorce

In what could end up being an incredibly expensive divorce, Bruce and Kris Jenner, of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” fame have announced that their separation will be permanent. Reports suggest that the couple had no prenuptial agreement and that 125 million dollars is on the line. In California, anyone who decides to get divorced without a prenup will split assets right down the middle.

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.
LOL Just divorced. And no, that’s not my car. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Bruce Jenner found fame in the 1970s when he attended the Montreal Olympics and won a gold medal in the decathlon event. After that momentous achievement, Bruce was able to set up licensing and endorsement deals that netted him millions of dollars. In the decades after the marriage, Bruce’s star began to fade as he started eschewing his motivational speaking career in favor of staying at home, to raise the two children that came from the marriage.By the time Kris married Bruce in 1991, she’d just divorced famous defense lawyer Robert Kardashian after a marriage that lasted about 13 years. She already had 4 children by the time she married Bruce that year. It wasn’t until 2007 when daughter Kim’s infamous “sex tape” hit the airwaves that the family started skyrocketing to fame, and the fortune started to grow.

Rumors suggest that Bruce wasn’t enthusiastic about his permanent role as sidekick to his wife and that he wasn’t allowed to help with any major decisions impacting the family.

Although a joint media statement from the former couple suggests that the split was “amicable,” it’s difficult to believe that two decades of marriage and a 125 million dollar fortune would just end with a friendly split. What seems clear from rumors and reports about the couple; however, is that there was no specific event which pushed the couple apart.

In their statement, the soon-to-be divorced couple said:

“But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”

In addition, sources also suggest that the reality television empire won’t come screeching to a halt. Interestingly, soon after the news broke that Bruce and Kris would be separating, Bruce and some of the couple’s children were seen at a golf course. When the family noticed a paparazzi taking a picture from across the green, the Jenner family each flipped the bird to the photographer while each had a huge smile on his or her face.

Interestingly, it seems that Kris was the first to take her wedding ring off after the divorce announcement while Bruce was photographed still wearing his ring.

There haven’t been any reports of infidelity or abuse between the couple and many of the anonymous sources who have come out to offer insight on the divorce have said that the split was a long time in coming. Bruce was already staying at a rental property for several months at the time of the divorce announcement and hadn’t been living inside the Kardashian compound in Calabasas for some time.

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