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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
Hayden Panettiere has formally announced her engagement! The starlet will be marrying Vladimir Klitschko, who is a world renowned boxer that has won an Olympic gold medal. The unexpected public revelation has sparked rumor trails regarding glitzy wedding plans. While no date has been set, and nothing has been confirmed, there is widespread speculation that the event is going to be glamorously over-the-top.
Although Panettiere’s fiance is 13 years older than her, it is the first marriage for both partners. This may instill extra incentive for the couple to make their officiation an extremely flashy occasion. Because Klitschko is a famous Ukrainian athlete, he will also be anticipating a magnificently choreographed wedding. Both individuals could invest fortunes in perfecting their walk down the aisle together.
Of course, one of the biggest decisions that Panettiere faces is the selection of her gown. All eyes will be on the fabric that she chooses for this special day. If they go through with a public wedding, the dress will be permanently immortalized in global media. She is going to want to show off flawless class, glimmering austerity and sizzling sultriness. Fashion critics are eagerly anticipating her selection. The high-end designer that she picks will receive a tremendous boost in popularity, especially if she pulls off a beautiful presentation.
A crazy wedding would be completely in character for the young television star. Her most known role was a bubbly cheerleader on the long-running series, “Heroes.” With vivacious charm, she became a sex symbol across the country. Explosiveness is simply a part of her personality, so a bombastic celebration is to be expected. Furthermore, Ukrainian wedding parties have a tendency to be more raucous than American traditions. If they follow any of the groom’s cultural practices, the event could become out of control.
The massive ring on Panettiere’s finger indicates no desire for privacy regarding this affair. In fact, it was an invitation for the mainstream media to cover the entire ordeal. This hints that the couple might be planning a gigantic wedding event. They can easily afford it, and the public celebrations will rapidly enhance the star’s critical acclaim.
In contrast, a private exchange of vows would disappoint her legions of fans. Furthermore, paparazzi could still infiltrate the wedding to snap pictures. To avoid any uninvited intrusions, the couple should be open to media coverage during their nupital arrangements. This will let them control the event, and allow them to recoup some of the expenses through lucrative network contracts. Regardless of how they conduct the wedding, it is certain that the whole world will be diligently watching with admiration, and perhaps a slight tinge of jealousy.
I’ve got some expensive habits. Not like Charlie Sheen snorting $2500 of blow of a hooker’s boobs, but still expensive.
My latest one is dancing lessons. Linda surprised me on one of weekly date nights a few months ago. She found a Groupon for the dancing studio we used before we got married. It was $69 for a month of unlimited group lessons.
When the month was up, we signed on for their beginner cycle of lessons, which cost another $400.
And now we’re starting the Social Foundation program.
Social Foundation is a series of classes that teach some advanced moves, but also to teach dancers how to lead and follow properly and how to dance socially and look respectable on a dance floor in any number of situations. Leading and following are important because every single dance move out there has specific cues that tell your partner what’s coming next. If she doesn’t know, you both look clumsy.
So we chose the four dances we’re going to learn better and signed up. We’re going to learn the Rumba, Waltz, Tango, and Swing. We’re already pretty good at Rumba and Swing, but we’re going to get better. Personally, I’m hoping to also figure out how to use the Tango on an open dance floor without crashing into people. That way, we can pretend to be Gomez and Morticia, my heroes.
Now, the thing is, dance lessons aren’t cheap. They cost about $100 per hour, where an hour is defined as 45 minutes. We’re rolling the last half of our beginner lessons into our social foundation lessons and paying $1400.
Ouch.
They gave us the option of financing it over 3-4 months, but I didn’t want to pay an extra $200 for the privilege. I think we’ll be tapping the vacation fund to pay for the lessons.
Why am I willing to pay this much?
Dancing is one of the very few things Linda and I both enjoy. We’re pretty good at it, it’s great exercise, it’s fun, and (shhh!) it counts as foreplay. It also doesn’t hurt to have the sidelines of the dance floor lined with people watching us dance, wishing they could do what we’re doing…or wishing their husbands were willing to learn how to dance. This also isn’t just something we’re doing at the studio. We are out on a dance floor dancing to a live band almost every week. That usually comes with about $25 in cover charges and drinks.
Fun, exercise, have sex, and inspire jealousy. That’s a winning combination. And finding things to do that we both love to do is difficult and easily worth the $2000 we’ve paid the dance studio this year.
I’ve been walking though my analytics data. That is the Big Brother software I use to know everything about each one of my dear readers. It’s all part of my master plan to rule the world. Muwahaha!
Some of the results are interesting.
The single most-used search term to find this site is “slow carb diet“, which is great, because I really enjoyed writing that post. I’ve been slacking on the diet lately, but I’m still down more than 30 pounds. I’m currently ranked #3 in Google for this term. If I move up 2 more spots, I’ll outrank Tim Ferriss for his own product. If I aggregated all of the “slow carb” variations, this post probably accounts for more than half of my traffic from Google.
Many of you come here by searching for “how to have a perfect life“. I’ll do everything I can to help you achieve that, but it’s going to take work on your part. There are no shortcuts.
“Beat the Check” is another popular search term, but a very bad game to play. It’s almost impossible to win it, since the Check 21 Act of 2004.
It’s interesting that “trained husband” brings a few of you each month. My question: are you shopping, or exploring a new fetish? Don’t be shy.
I’m a bit amazed that “zombie wheels” is something people actually search for, but 140 people hit Google looking for that term every month, and a few of them make it over here.
“How to stretch a meal“, “things you should buy online“, and “unsecured loan advice” are some of the top personal finance terms bringing you all in, though “how to make a bunker” and its variation are popular, too.
“Hoe can you force your wife” is a bit disturbing. Most of the results are naturally for sex. I can’t help but hope that I’ve either really disappointed this visitor, or convinced him that force is a bad idea.
“How much did a pound of gold weigh in 1854?” is a search that makes me giggle. To the best of my knowledge, the troy scale has been used to weigh gold for a lot longer than that.
That was a fun little stroll through my statistics. Hopefully the fact that I used “fetish” and “sex” in a post will draw more crazy search terms.
How did you find me? Inquiring minds want to know, so please tell me in the comments.
My financial life right now is boooring.
And that’s a good thing.
When I started this site I was $90,000 in debt, and considering bankruptcy. I’d just started on the Dave Ramsey plan and was looking for every possible way to scrape up any extra money I could.
Now, the debt is nearly gone.
Our credit card is almost paid off every month. There’s occasionally some overlap between our auto-payment and our charges. And sometimes the budgeted auto-payment doesn’t match the reality of our spending and I don’t notice for a week or two. Except for the end of last year, but that’s a post for another day.
The short version is: We’re doing well, and we’re nearing the end of our financial problems.
Our scheduled mortgage over-payments will have it completely paid off in October. Then we are debt-free and can hopefully manage to live the rest of our lives without paying interest on money that isn’t earning us more than we are paying. For example, I’m willing to take out a mortgage to buy another rental property, but I’m going to wait to do that until our current mortgage is paid and we have a substantial down payment ready.
No debt.
I’m not kidding when I say it’s been a long 6 years of fighting our debt. Counting a car loan we got and paid early, we’ve paid more than $110,000 of debt in six years.
I’ve run side businesses, aggressively negotiated raises, and left companies(voluntarily and otherwise) for better pay & benefits.
I’ve watched friends and family take vacations around the world.
I’ve turned my kids down for so many things that I would love to buy them, but couldn’t because being financially secure is a much higher priority than spoiling children. Try explaining that to a 6 year old.
And now, the debt-ridden part of our financial journey is almost over. Finally.
So what’s next?
I have no idea. I’d like to travel more. Linda and the girls want us to move to a hobby farm and get horses. We want more rental properties.
Whatever “next” is, it will be done from a position of strength that won’t destroy our financial world or put out futures at risk.
Today, it is my please to host the 287th Festival of Frugality, the Independence Day Edition. Yesterday, was Independence Day in the US. It’s the day we celebrate throwing off the yolk of high-tax, no-rights tyranny and blowing stuff up.
That’s not what this Festival is about. As much as I love this country and enjoyed celebrating, today, the theme is the Independence Day movie.
Coolest ID4 fact, ever: A promotional piece that aired in Spain for this film set off a “War of the Worlds” type of wide spread panic. The promo featured a popular Spanish news anchor and the piece ran as if there really WAS an alien attack to occur on July 4.
The explosion of the Welcome Wagon Helicopters was actually footage of a pyrotechnics accident on set.
Miss T. gives us Seven Reasons to Avoid Penny Auction Sites. She does a great job of explaining the evil that is Penny Auctions, from outright fraud to the rip-off that is the basic business model. Some of these sites make $5000 or more on an iPad auction. They don’t even have to carry an inventory before running an auction.
Independence Day holds the record for most miniature model-work. It beat the previous record by double.
Philip submits Turn Wasted Extra Money Into a Debt Payment. I have a friend who is positive he can’t reduce his monthly expenses at all, while eating out almost every day.
The alien ship “miniature” was 65 feet across.
Boomer presents Financial Support For Your Adult Children. I love my parents. A lot. I couldn’t imagine moving back in with them, and I’m pretty sure they’d feel the same way soon enough. Although, Mom, if you’re reading this, can I have an allowance again?
This was the highest grossing film in 1996.
Suba presents Why you should not use 401k. I’ve never questioned the wisdom of maxing out a 401k. It’s good to see those assumptions challenged and the numbers crunched.
President Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning to all of us. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. Perhaps it is fate that today is the fourth of July, and we will once again be fighting for our freedom. But not for freedom from tyrrany or oppression or persecution. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world stood up and declared in one voice that we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
FMF presents Save Money on Groceries by Shopping on Wednesday posted at Free Money Finance.
Harri Pierce presents Have a second hand summer posted at TotallyMoney.
Daniel presents Top 10 Reasons to Shop Online vs. Shopping In-Store posted at Sweating The Big Stuff.
President Whitmore: It’s a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one.
Philip Taylor presents The Best Time to Buy posted at PT Money Personal Finance.
Outlaw presents Pay Yourself First and Have Money in the Bank posted at Outlaw Finance.
Crystal presents Frugal Tips for the Pet Dog posted at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff.
Matt presents The Price of Water posted at Stupid Cents.
That’s right! That’s what you get! Look at you! Ship all banged up! Who’s the man? Who’s the man?! Wait until I get another plane! I am going to line up all your friends right beside you! ~ Captain Steven Hiller
Alan presents The Cost of Online Gaming: Free to Play posted at Canadian Finance Blog.
Paula @ AffordAnything.org presents Diets and Debt: Managing Money and Your Weight posted at AffordAnything.org.
Kay Lynn presents Summer Fun for the Frugal Family posted at Bucksome Boomer.
Jacob @ My Personal Finance Journey presents Top 10 Money Saving Tips posted at My Personal Finance Journey.
Glen Craig presents The Cost of Clutter on Your Finances and Life posted at Free From Broke.
Eddie presents 55 Suggestions To Save $1000 posted at Finance Fox.
Darwin presents Are You Better Off Than Your Parents? posted at Darwin’s Money.
Sustainable PF presents Sustainability Tip #179: Loose Cap Lose Gas posted at Sustainable Personal Finance.
WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Elvis has left the building! ~ Captain Steven Hiller
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