Please email me at:
Or use the form below.
[contact-form 1 “Contact form 1”]
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
For the last year or so, I haven’t been writing much, which feels weird. I used to write three timer per week. I’d write about saving money, investing, frugality, sometimes, relationships and parenting.
But that stopped. Why?
When I started this site, I was about $110,000 in debt, and just starting my journey out of it. A few months before, I was looking into bankruptcy, because I didn’t know how to get out of debt.
For years, the ways I saved money, cut corners, and earned extra money was fodder for this site. Everything I did was about saving money, earning money, and paying off debt.
Now? I’m about 2 months away from being completely debt-free. I paid my mortgage off last month, and have about $10,000 in credit card debt at the moment. I know, I paid that off backwards, but there are reasons. Reasons I’ll share another time.
4 years ago, I was essentially working 4 jobs. My day job, my gun training business, my internet marketing business, and my websites(including this one). I was working all of the time. It was necessary, but it’s a path to burnout. Then, I changed jobs a couple of times, nearly doubling my day job’s pay. My business partner got promoted out of a position that generated leads for one of our businesses, then had an accident that the other shared business on hold for a while.
Suddenly, I had free time and enough money coming in that I didn’t need to work all of the time. It was a crazy place to be after spending more than a decade pretending to be a workaholic just to keep my head above water. (Here’s a secret: I’m incredibly lazy. I’m just the busiest lazy man I know.) So I started pursuing hobbies.
Linda and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons and are nearly to the point that competing is a real possibility.
I cleaned out my garage and assembled a decent wood shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do roughly forever.
I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my teenage son.
I’ve been playing games with my kids, dating my wife, and simply enjoying my life.
This site?
Through all of that, I haven’t known what to write about.
“Dear audience, this month, I paid my bills, didn’t go on vacation, and bought a drill press.”
“Dear audience, my debt went down another $500 this month.”
“Dear audience, I didn’t buy a car I can’t afford this month. Again.”
Those aren’t good articles. Financially–while paying off debt is disturbingly exciting–my life is very repetitive. That’s the hardest part about paying off a lot of debt. It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s boring. My wins have been spaced out by several years lately, and I haven’t been creatively frugal. Screw frugal. If you can afford some conveniences and luxuries, frugal sucks.
Anything new happening in my world that would apply to this site would make it read like an accountant’s ledger book. $100,000 minus $1500 plus $10,000 minus $300, ad nauseum.
Instead of inflicting boring accountancy on you, I’ve been absent.
What next? Who knows. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing here. I’ve started writing a novel.
What would you like to see here?
My mother-in-law’s house is ready. The walls are painted, the hardwood floors have been sanded and polished, the carpets have been cleaned. Now, we just have to get the lease signed and let the renters in.
This week, we had our first real bullying incident on the school bus. I guess one of the benefits of having a kid who is the biggest in the school is that nobody punches him. My daughter doesn’t have that benefit. She was punched and pushed for being in the wrong seat on the bus a couple of days ago. Thankfully, the school dealt with it quickly. The bus is equipped with video and the little girl copped to it. She’s s off of the bus for a few days and her parents have been informed. Unfortunately, her twin sister seems to be the vengeful type. She came home yesterday lying about how my daughter behaved on the bus and got another little girl to lie about getting hit and bit by my daughter in school yesterday.
How do I know it’s all lies?
First, my daughter didn’t ride the bus yesterday afternoon. She was scared in the morning, so I promised to pick her up from school. Hard to misbehave on the bus when she was cuddling with her mother on the couch. The other little girl–who goes to daycare with the twins just up the street from our daycare provider (who happens to be the grandmother of the twins)–recanted once she was away from the vengeful twin. Her mother filled us in last night. I’m not a fan of a grandmother defending a kid’s lies. No kids are angels, but helping them lie doesn’t make them better people.
I’m aware that I’ve been a bit of a slacker about posting these links. My apologies to everyone who deserved a link but didn’t get it in a timely manner.
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Narrow Bridge
Finance Carnival for Young Adults hosted by Finance Product Reviews
Carnival of Financial Planning hosted by Family Money Values
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Moneywise Pastor
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by See Debt Run
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #64 hosted by Master the Art of Saving
Carnival of Retirement #52 hosted by Master the Art of Saving
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Your PF Pro
Lifestyle Carnival #33 hosted by Lifestyle Carnival
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #62 hosted by Savvy Scot
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Debt Black Hole
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Making Sense of Cents
Lifestyle Carnival #31 hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by The Frugal Toad
Money Mail Carnival #5 hosted by The Money Mail
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Money Mail Carnival #4 hosted by The Money Mail
Finance Carnival for Young Adults #39 hosted by 20s Finances
Yakezie Carnival hosted by My Family Finances
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Growing Money Smart
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #57 hosted by My University Money
Money Mail Carnival #3 hosted by The Money Mail
Yakezie Carnival hosted by I Heart Budgets
Carnival of Retirement #46 hosted by Making Sense of Cents
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Ultimate Juggle
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by My Multiple Incomes
Carnival of Financial Planning hosted by Master the Art of Saving
Money Mail Carnival #2 hosted by The Money Mail
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #56 hosted by See Debt Run
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Finance Product Reviews
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Parenting and Money
Lifestyle Carnival #27 hosted by Femme Frugality
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #55 hosted by My University Money
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Ultimate Juggle
Lifestyle Carnival #26 hosted by Mo Money Mo Houses
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Debt Black Hole
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #54 hosted by Cash Net USA
Carnival of Financial Planning hosted by Young Family Finances
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Portfolio Princess
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Thirty Six Months
Carnival of Retirement #41 hosted by Financial Conflict Coach
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Master the Art of Savings
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Cult of Money
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Blue Collar Workman
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Making Sense of Cents
Carnival of Retirement #41 hosted by The College Investor
Thanks for including my posts.
You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.
You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.
You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.
You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.
You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.
Have a great weekend!
Have you ever set a goal…and failed?
At some point, it happens to all of us. After all, our reach should exceed our grasp, right? That doesn’t make it easy to admit failure, or to correct it. Did you let a New Year’s resolution lapse, or slip off of a diet? Have you started shopping indiscriminately again, or stopped going to the gym?
It’s okay if you did, but it’s time to fix it.
How can you get back on track after failing a goal?
Just like when you first started towards your goal, you have to decide when you’re going to get back on board. If you can’t decide, just pick the beginning of the next month. A new beginning is a great time to tackle your new beginning.
You failed once. Accept it and move on. Past behaviors don’t have to be an indicator of future performance. Just do better this time.
Somebody has noticed that you aren’t on the wagon. Your coworkers are seeing you eating candy, or your spouse has noticed you buying things you don’t need. Talk to these people. Tell them you’re going to redo the things you’ve undone. You’ll change the world, but you have to start with yourself.
Unless I have seriously misjudged my audience, you are human. Humans sometimes make poor decisions. Being ashamed won’t help you, but take the opportunity to learn from the past. Do you know what caused you to fail? Are there triggers to your behavior that you can avoid this time around? When I quit smoking, I tried to avoid rush hour, because I smoked heavily while I drove and I wanted to avoid being in car for as long as possible, minimizing one of my triggers. What cause your lapse, and can you avoid it?
This one should be the most obvious, but the fact that it’s a problem means it’s not. Do whatever it takes to not make the same mistakes and uphold your goals. Don’t smoke. Don’t eat garbage. Exercise more. Whatever you’ve decided to do or not do, do it….or not.
Have you missed a goal? How have you picked it back up?
When you accumulate a certain level of debt, it feels like you’re wading through an eyeball-deep pool of poo, dancing on your tiptoes just to keep breathing. Ask me how I really feel.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m in debt. We have gone over this before. The story isn’t one of my proudest, so I’ve never talked much about how it happened.
Our debt was entirely our fault. We messed up and dug our own poo-pool. There were no major medical bills, no extended unemployment, just a strong consumer urge and an apparent need for instant gratification. Delayed gratification wasn’t a skill I’d considered learning. The idea of it was a thoroughly foreign concept. Why wait when every store we visited offered no payments/no interest for a year? We didn’t give much thought to what would happen when the year was up.
We got married young. We bought our house young. We started our family young. We did all of that over the course of two years, well before we were financially ready. Twenty years old, we had excellent credit and gave our credit reports a workout. Credit was so easy to get. By the time I was 22, we had a total credit limit more than twice our annual income. We fought so hard to keep up with the Joneses. A new pickup, a remodel on our house. Within a month of paying off the truck, I got a significant raise and rushed out to buy a new car.
Every penny that hit the table was caught in a net of lifestyle expansion. I was bouncing on my tiptoes.
Four months into my new car payment, I was laid off. There’s me, hoping for a snorkel. A week later, we found out our son was going to be a big brother. Our pool had developed a tide.
We killed the cable and cut back on everything else and…managed. Money was tight, but we got by. I got a new job, but had we learned any lessons? Of course not. We got a satellite dish, started shopping the way we always had. Times were good, and could never be bad. We had such short memories.
Fast forward a couple of years. Baby #3 is on the way while baby #2 is still in diapers. Daycare was about to double. Daddy started to panic. I built a rudimentary budget and realized there was no way to make ends meet. There just wasn’t enough cash coming in to cover expenses. That’s when I made my first frugal decision: I quit smoking. That cut the expenses right to the level of our income. It was tight, but doable.
There was still one serious problem. Neither one of us could control our impulse shopping. For a time, I was getting packages delivered almost every day. It was never anything expensive, but it was always something. Little things add up quickly.
Last spring, I realized we couldn’t keep going like that. I started looking into bankruptcy. Somehow, we managed to toss ourselves into the deep end of the pool. We had near-perfect credit and no way to maintain it.
While researching bankruptcy, I found our life preserver. We put together a budget. We cut and…it hurt. It’s taken a year, but every bill we have is finally being tracked. We have an emergency fund and we are working towards our savings goals. It hasn’t been an easy year, but we are making progress. We’ve eliminated 15% of our debt and opened out budget to include some “blow money” and an occasional date night. We are always looking for ways to decrease our bottom line and increase the top line. Most important, we are actually working together to keep all of our expenses under control, with no hurt feelings when we remind ourselves to stay on track.
We are finally standing flat-footed, head and shoulders above the poo.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
When you realize that you’ve buried yourself in debt and decide to get out from under that terrible burden, the first thing you’ve got to do is build a budget because, without that, you’ve got no way to know how much money you have or need. After you’ve got a budget, you’ll start spending according to whatever it says. Hopefully, you’ll stay on budget, but what happens when an emergency does come up? What do you do when your car dies? When you suddenly find out your kids needs vision therapy? How do you manage when your job suddenly gets shipped off to East De Moines?
Your budget isn’t going to help you meet those expenses. Most people don’t have enough money in their bank account to make it all the way to the next payday, let alone enough to keep the lights on and food on the table. How can you possibly hope to deal with even the little things that come up?
You whip out your emergency fund.
The problem with a budget is that it does a poor job of accounting for the unexpected. That’s where an emergency fund comes in. An emergency fund is money that you have set aside in an available-but-not-too-accessible account. Its sole purpose is to give you a line of defense when life rears up and kicks you in the butt. Without an emergency fund, everything that comes unexpectedly is automatically an emergency. With an emergency fund, the things that come up are merely minor setbacks. Without an emergency fund, your budget is nothing but a good intention waiting to get shattered by the next thing that comes along. With an emergency fund, you are managing money. Without it, it’s managing you.
Every “expert” has their own opinion on this. Dave Ramsey recommends $1000 to start. Suze Orman says 8 months. The average time spent looking for work after losing your job is 24.5 weeks(roughly 6 months), so I recommend 7 months of expenses. That’s enough to carry you through an average bout of unemployment and a little more, but that’s not a goal for your first steps toward financial perfection. To start with, get $1000 in a savings account. That’s enough to manage most run-of-the-mill emergencies, without unduly delaying the rest of your debt repayment and savings goals.
Let’s not kid ourselves, $1000 is a lot of money when can barely make it from one check to the next. Unfortunately, this vital first step can’t get ignored. If you really work at it, you should be able to come up with $1000 in a month or so. Here are some ideas on how to manage that:
Dave Ramsey’s advice is to get your fund up to $1000 and then leave it alone until your debt is paid off. Screw that. I’ve got money going into my fund every month. It’s only $25 per month, but over the last two years, it has almost doubled my fund. Don’t dedicate so much money that you can’t meet your other goals, but don’t be afraid to keep some money flowing in .
When can you pull the money out? That is entirely up to you. I have ju st two points to make about withdrawing from your emergency fund:
An emergency fund makes your life easier and your budget possible when the unexpectable happens. Don’t forget to fund yours.
How much money do you keep in your emergency fund? What would it take to get you to spend it?