- Happy Independence Day! Be thankful for what you've been given by those who have gone before! #
- Waiting for fireworks with the brats. Excitement is high. #
- @PhilVillarreal Amazing. I'm really Cringer. That makes me feel creepy. in reply to PhilVillarreal #
- Built a public life-maintenance calendar in GCal. https://liverealnow.net/y7ph #
- @ericabiz makes webinars fun! Even if her house didn't collapse in the middle of it. #
- BOFH + idiot = bad combination #
Bonding Relationships
People can’t be happy in a vacuum. We are social creatures. Even the most anti-social among us needs some human contact. How can you make that contact happen in a meaningful way? How can you connect with other people beyond some superficial meaningless chatter?
According to Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Who’s got your back, there are four mindsets necessary to build lifelong relationships.
1. Generosity. This is your promise to help others succeed. If have a skill that can help someone you know, why not give them a hand? when you help others, you are building social capital, which is a currency that cannot be bought. Since our lives are not ledger books, you can’t do favors with repayment in mind, but it is reasonable to assume that the people ou help will want to help you some day.
An often overlooked generosity strategy is to give away 90% of everything. I’m not suggesting you give away 90% of your wealth or possessions. I’m suggesting you give away 90% of your personal product. Plan to give away 9 times more than your receive. This will not only keep your from being disappointed, but it will also leave you feeling very fulfilled.
2. Vulnerability. It is important to let down your guard and let the world see your humanity. It’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone who’s shields are always up: the guy who seems to be invulnerable and unapproachable. The people you spend time with know your flaw anyway. If you pretend they don’t exist, you are only fooling yourself. I have a lot of problem with this one. Letting down my guard is incredibly difficult, in almost every circumstance. It is far easier to be strong than to let myself be vulnerable.
3. Candor. Total honesty is vital to establishing–and maintaining– lifelong relationships. Even the white lies can destroy your connections. If you can lie about the little things, you are planting doubts on everything else you do and say. Who can trust you then? Lying is inappropriate in almost all conceivable cases. I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. Almost everything you have can be taken away from you, but not your honor. That can only be destroyed by you. Without it, what do you really have?
4. Accountability. You need to follow through on your promises. Be Mr. Reliable(or Mrs!). If you say you will do something, do it! Nothing builds resentment faster than disappointing the people who are counting on you. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the soon-to-be-let-down know as early as possible, so other plans can be made. If you have a hard time keeping promises, then make fewer of them.
If you embrace these principles, you will be well on your way to building–and keeping–strong, satisfying relationships that benefit everyone.
How do you build your relationships?
Saturday Roundup – Side Hustles Rock
- Image via Wikipedia
We’re busy cleaning for our party next weekend, followed by spending an evening lying in a coffin in my yard, scaring the crap out of kids and giving them candy.
The best posts of the week:
Right now, I am actively pursuing 4 separate side hustles, 3 of which are generating actual cash. It’s about $500 a month at the moment, but each of them are growing. My goal is to hit $1500 a month by spring and have full replacement income within 2 years. Everybody should have some kind of side income, just as a safety net.
One of my side hustles involves training in a niche with 200 companies competing for about 10,000 one-day students each year. I could try to compete on price, but that’s an arms race to bargain-basement pricing. Instead, we compete on value, and as such, we’re on track to bring in several multiples of our share of students this year, with growth projected to go well beyond that next year.
Knowing how much more I enjoy my side projects over my straight job, I want to encourage my kids to develop their own lines of income that will allow them to live the lives they want to live, without being a leech on society.
If they can start to get some of their own income, they can learn the value of the things they own, instead of assuming that everything is free. I will not spoil my kids.
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Actions Have Consequences has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
If I missed anyone, please let me know. Thanks for including me!
Book Review: Small Message, Big Impact
I was recently given an advanced reader copy of Small Message, Big Impact by Terri L. Sjodin. It’s a book on crafting an effective and persuasive elevator speech.
An elevator speech is, according the the author, “a brief presentation introducing a product, service, philosophy or an idea. The name suggests the notion that the message should be delivered in the time span of an elevator ride, up to about 3 minutes. Its general purpose is to intrigue and inspire a listener to want to hear more of the presenter’s complete proposition in the near future.” It’s a 3-minute speech you give to intrigue someone enough that they will let you give a real presentation.
A lot of people–probably most–use their 3 minutes of unexpected access as an “information dump”. They pour as much data as possible into their audience. According to Sjodin(and I agree!), and elevator speech needs to be primarily persuasive, not informative. You need to include enough information to back up your persuasive arguments, but too much information is at least as bad, if not worse, than too little.
An elevator speech is either a sales pitch or a waste of time. You are selling the right to give more detailed information at a later time. The elevator pitch is not about making the sale. It’s about advancing the ball toward the eventual sale.
Who needs an elevator pitch? You do. Everybody sells. Even if you don’t have a product, a service, or a business, you have yourself. Can you pitch your boss on why you deserve a raise or a promotion?
The author walks you through creating an elevator speech that takes advantage of Monroe’s Motivated Sequence to advance your goal, whatever that is. She’ll teach you how to grab your audience’s attention and make them recognize a need for change. You’ll offer a solution, help them see the super-ninja-awesome future you’re offering, and give them a clear call to action. All in 3 to 5 minutes. Small Message, Big Impact will also teach you to provide a clear progression through those steps, making it easy for your target to say yes.
You’ll learn the basic outline of an elevator speech, including how to grab your target’s interest, build a persuasive case, and establish credibility when you’ve been surprised with a few moments of access. The three pieces of any successful presentation, from an elevator speech to a full-day presentation are
- Case. If you can’t make your case, nothing else matters.
- Creativity. You won’t win by being the same as everyone else. The same product, the same service, the same buzzwords won’t differentiate yourself from the competition.
- Delivery. Stumbling, stammering, and talking to the wall will make the the best product and the most creative presentation sound like crap, every time. You need to build your presentation and practice it, so you come across and smooth an knowledgeable.
One of the best ways to sound credible, which will assist your delivery like nothing else, is to use an authentic voice. Be sincere and sound it. Believe in the material and yourself. Know the material–inside and out–and practice it until you can deliver it smoothly, even if that means enlisting a friend for speech practice.
Of the books I’ve reviewed, I think this is my favorite. If you need to design an elevator speech or improve the one you’ve been using, you should read this book. Even if you don’t care about an elevator speech, the book provides a decent education on persuasive selling that easily carries over to the written word.
How would you(or do you) use an elevator speech?
FINCON Friday
When this goes live, I’ll be on the road to the Financial Bloggers Conference outside of Chicago. That translates to a day off here.
Monday, I’ll be back with a whole bucket full of bloggy goodness.
The heat(er) is on! 5 winter home energy saving tips
This is a guest post.
Turning the heat on can strike fear into the hearts of many a home owner. Rising heating bills are not a thing of the past. They are present and there is no end in sight. Relief for high winter heat costs can be found in every leaky window, poorly sealed storm door, inaccurate thermostats and many other locations in and around your home. Seeking out the cheapest gas and electricity prices from local suppliers can help reduce total energy costs and should include home energy audits and payment plans to equalize summer and winter energy bills.
Top 5 Tips for Year Round Home Energy Savings
1. Obtain a free energy audit kit from your local electric or gas provider. Approach your home energy audit as a family. Involving children is one of the best ways to decrease overall energy consumption. Teach the kids about leaving doors open, leaving lights on and the television on when not in the room. Appoint an energy officer for the house who will be responsible for reminding family members about energy conserving activities.
2. Install a digital thermostat, which can be programmed to automatically raise or reduce home temperatures when the house is not occupied such as when parents are at work and the kids are at school. Lowering temperatures to 60 degrees on mild winter days for just six hours during the work day can save on your heating bills without compromising comfort. By limiting the time not to exceed six hours the cost for bringing the home back to acceptable living temperatures is minimal; much longer and the bounce back time is increased sufficiently to mitigate any daytime savings. Reducing overall temperatures by one degree Fahrenheit can save as much as three percent on the total heating bill. Reduce the household temperature by five degrees Fahrenheit and experience a 15 percent saving which is a number most families can easily live with.
3. Comparison shop for the cheapest gas and electricity from local private energy suppliers. Ask about payment plans, adjustable billing cycles and energy reform programs. State and local governments have options for lower income homes, providing subsidies for high winter heating bills. Grants for home improvement along with energy conservation tax credits, which can be applied to heating costs, are another way to reduce budget impacting heating bills this winter.
4. Close vents, use energy efficient space heaters and alternative heat sources for additional energy savings. Closing vents to unused rooms will reduce energy consumption for the entire house. Heating less square footage will require less energy. When closing vents, be sure to seal those rooms well. Install thermal window coverings to reduce heat loss and temperature fluctuations and reduce air exchange at door thresholds with the use of a draft dodger. Using an energy efficient space heater in cold rooms can improve comfort without increasing overall heating costs. Spaces such as basements and laundry rooms can benefit from temporary use of space heaters to increase temperatures for those rooms temporarily. Consider alternative heat sources such as wood stoves and fireplace inserts. Fireplaces are generally inefficient as heat sources. However, wood stoves using catalytic converters can have energy efficiency ratings that rival high tech heat pumps.
5. Appliance energy hogs such as hot water heaters, washers, dryers, ovens and dishwashers should be evaluated each season. Lowering the hot water heater temperature and insulating the water heater and the pipes can reduce energy consumption of this one appliance by as much as seven percent. Wash clothing on cold water settings whenever possible, reserving hot water for only items needing sterilization, such as sick room bedding or cloth diapers. Never start the dishwasher if it is not completely full. The same amount of water and energy will be used to wash five plates and three glasses and will be required to wash a full meal’s worth of dishes for a family of six.
