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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Money Problems – Day 5: Boosting Your Income

Finance

Pizza Delivery Bike — Image by Kevin H. via Flickr

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

Today we’re going to look at ways to boost your income.

People spend a lot of time talking about ways to reduce your expenses, but there is a better way to make ends meet. If you make more money, you will—naturally—have more money to work with, which will make it easier to balance your expenses. I’ve found it to be far less painful to make more money than to cut expenses I enjoy.

I can hear what you’re thinking. It’s easy to tell people to make more money, but what about telling them how? Guess what? I’m going to tell you how to make money because I rock.

By far, the simplest way to make more money is to convince whoever is paying you to pay you more for what you are already doing. In other words, get a raise. I know that’s easy to say. Money’s tight for a lot of companies and layoffs are common. None of that matters. Your company knows that hiring someone new will involve a lot of downtime during training. If you’ve been visibly doing your job, and the company isn’t on the brink of failure, it should be possible to get a bit of the budget tossed your way.

The first thing you need to do is get visible. If you habitually come in 15 minutes late, make it 15 minutes early. If you are working an alternative schedule, consider switching to the standard schedule, so everyone who matters can see you are at work. Start sending status updates to your boss, including copying him on emails to other people you work with, if those emails signify important milestones in a project.
Next, log your work. Keep track o what you do, what you’ve accomplished, and—most important—how much money you have made or saved for the company.
Third, do your research. Hit the salary survey sites to find out what other people in your field are making. Don’t worry if you are on the high side. There is always someone making more than you. If you are the exception to that rule, try using a similar variation of your job description and title. What’s the concrete difference between a software engineer I and and a software engineer II? About $15000.
Finally, schedule a meeting with your boss and ask. Lay out the things you’ve done, the amount you make for the company and what other companies are paying. Chances are, your boss will have a hard time refusing your request.

Another simple idea is to get a second job. Personally, I hate this idea, but it works wonders for some people. Gas stations and pizza stores offer flexible schedules and they are always hiring. If they aren’t willing to work with your schedule, or it doesn’t work out, you can always quit. This isn’t your main income, after all.

My favorite option is to create a new income stream. What can you do?

Take a piece of paper and a close friend and brainstorm how you can make some money. Write down every type of activity you have ever done or ever wanted to do. Then write down everything you can think of that other people who do those activities need or want. Remember, during a brainstorming session, there are no stupid ideas. Take those two lists and see if there is any product or service you can provide.

You can start a blog—although don’t expect to generate much money early—or try writing for some revenue-sharing article web sites, like hubpages or squidoo. Other options include affiliate marketing, garage sale arbitrage(buying “junk” at garage sales, fixing it up and selling it), or even doing yard work for other people.

One interesting business I’ve seen lately is a traveling poop-scooper. These people travel around and scoop poop out of ddog-owners’ yards. Business booms in the spring when the snow melts, but it can be an ongoing income, since dogs don’t stop pooping.

Raising your income can make it easier to pay your bills, pay off your debt, or even taking nice vacations. How have you made some extra cash?

Sunday Roundup: Yep, It’s Saturday

Misc

funny road sign — Image by Sree_ via Flickr

Yes, it’s Saturday. Tomorrow, I’m hosting the Yakezie Carnival, so I bumped this up a day.

This week has been super relaxing. Wrestling season is over. We’re done with activities for a while.

30 Day Project Update

Last month, I was trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I recorded each session in a spreadsheet. I hit my goal on the 28th, 3 days early. Since then, I’ve cut down to just one session per day. I’m now doing 35 slow, deep push-ups every morning. It’s not a goal, or a challenge, just part of a general effort to be healthier.

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 41 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 1 pound since last week and 8 pounds in March, while doing an insane amount of push-ups and packing on a few pounds of muscle. Seriously, for the last couple of weeks, on the days I haven’t totally slacked off, I’ve been doing 500+ push-ups a day. That’s a lot.

Total Inches: I have lost 23 inches in the same time frame, up 1 inch since last week. That makes me sad, but it seems to be muscle growth, so it’s not too bad.

Best Posts

Mint shows how lazy employees are, on average. Surprisingly, only 2.09 hours are wasted in the average 8 hour day. The rule I’d heard before is that employers expect 2-3 good, solid hours of work our of their employees every day.

Money Crasher has some cheap appetizer recipes. I can’t wait to make the biscuit meatballs.

The Mars Rover died. Tragic.

Get Rich Slowly has a post on emergency preparedness. If I mentioned that I keep enough supplies in my car to live for a week, would that make me a survivalist or just a fun guy?

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

First, I examined the value of exchanging your time to save a bit of money.

Then, I talked about the futility of trying to force your spouse into frugality.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Filing Bankruptcy: Pride or Shame? was an Editor’s Pick in the Totally Money Blog Carnival at Debt Free Divas. Thank you!

Budgeting tips – sticking to your budget was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Saving Money: The Warranty Fund was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Your Budget is Worthless

Finance

When you realize that you’ve buried yourself in debt and decide to get out from under that terrible burden, the first thing you’ve got to do is build a budget because, without that, you’ve got no way to know how much money you have or need. After you’ve got a budget, you’ll start spending according to whatever it says. Hopefully, you’ll stay on budget, but what happens when an emergency does come up? What do you do when your car dies? When you suddenly find out your kids needs vision therapy? How do you manage when your job suddenly gets shipped off to East De Moines?

Your budget isn’t going to help you meet those expenses. Most people don’t have enough money in their bank account to make it all the way to the next payday, let alone enough to keep the lights on and food on the table. How can you possibly hope to deal with even the little things that come up?

You whip out your emergency fund.

The problem with a budget is that it does a poor job of accounting for the unexpected. That’s where an emergency fund comes in. An emergency fund is money that you have set aside in an available-but-not-too-accessible account. Its sole purpose is to give you a line of defense when life rears up and kicks you in the butt. Without an emergency fund, everything that comes unexpectedly is automatically an emergency. With an emergency fund, the things that come up are merely minor setbacks. Without an emergency fund, your budget is nothing but a good intention waiting to get shattered by the next thing that comes along. With an emergency fund, you are managing money. Without it, it’s managing you.

How much money do you need in an emergency fund?

Every “expert” has their own opinion on this. Dave Ramsey recommends $1000 to start. Suze Orman says 8 months. The average time spent looking for work after losing your job is 24.5 weeks(roughly 6 months), so I recommend 7 months of expenses. That’s enough to carry you through an average bout of unemployment and a little more, but that’s not a goal for your first steps toward financial perfection. To start with, get $1000 in a savings account. That’s enough to manage most run-of-the-mill emergencies, without unduly delaying the rest of your debt repayment and savings goals.

How do you build an emergency fund?

Let’s not kid ourselves, $1000 is a lot of money when can barely make it from one check to the next. Unfortunately, this vital first step can’t get ignored. If you really work at it, you should be able to come up with $1000 in a month or so. Here are some ideas on how to manage that:

Cut. Drop every possible expense. If you drop cable, your cell phone, Netflix, and a weekly dinner out, you will already be saving $400 that month. You’d be almost halfway there.
Sell. How much stuff do you have that you don’t need, want, or use? I’d be willing to be there’s more than you realize. Last spring, I had a garage sale that brought in about $1300. Everything we sold was just crap we don’t use any more. We sold candles and candle-holders, DVDs, books, clothes, toys, electronics, games, and anything else we could find. I spent a month going through every room in my house to find my inventory. Craigslist is a good way to sell just one or two things at a time.
Work. Have you thought about delivering pizza or working weekends in a gas station? If you have some technical or writing ability, you could pick up some part time work on oDesk or eLance. Your opportunities are only limited by what you are willing to do.

Stop at a grand?

Dave Ramsey’s advice is to get your fund up to $1000 and then leave it alone until your debt is paid off. Screw that. I’ve got money going into my fund every month. It’s only $25 per month, but over the last two years, it has almost doubled my fund. Don’t dedicate so much money that you can’t meet your other goals, but don’t be afraid to keep some money flowing in .

Using the fund?

When can you pull the money out? That is entirely up to you. I have ju st two points to make about withdrawing from your emergency fund:

Don’t keep the money in an easy-to-access account. If your fund is in the savings account that serves as your overdraft protection account, it’s too easy to spend it, and it will go away. I keep it in my INGDirect account. I don’t use the checking account for anything in person, so I don’t carry the card. If I want to spend that money, it will take 2-3 days to transfer into my main bank account.
Never decide to spend the money on the spur of the moment. There are very few major financial decisions that can’t wait until morning to be answered. Sleep on it. If it’s still necessary tomorrow, you can spend it without guilt.

An emergency fund makes your life easier and your budget possible when the unexpectable happens. Don’t forget to fund yours.

How much money do you keep in your emergency fund? What would it take to get you to spend it?

Saturday Roundup – Dirty Beggar Edition

Misc

: Image by Chris Pirillo via Flickr

I have a favor to ask. Free Money Finance is running his annual March Money Madness blog contest. Please drop by and vote for me. Just comment with “Game 6: Bags”. Thank you!

Starting next week, my roundups will be happening on Sunday. I weigh in on Saturday, and that just makes me feel rushed on Saturday mornings.

Free Money Tip

INGDirect is having a sweet promotion. Open a checking account, use it three times in 45 days, and get $50 free. Free money is the best kind. I love my ING account and keep all of my savings there. If you don’t have an account there, yet, now is a great time to open one.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 20 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 3 pounds since last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 10 inches in the same time frame, down 1 since last week.

That is kind of a disappointing week, after losing 17 pounds in the two previous weeks. Still, it’s progress. Should I blame it on getting sloppy with the supplements and timed exercise, which aren’t(technically) necessary, the vagaries of losing weight, or the fact that I(gasp) had some feta cheese on a salad yesterday(Dairy is out, but I didn’t recognize it until it was too late and I was happy.)? I’ll go with B. Weight loss is never completely consistent.

Best Posts

If some puny little constellation can mess up our zodiac signs, what will a second sun do?

Everyday Tips and Thoughts ran a post on cell phone etiquette. I agree wholeheartedly with the bathroom talkers. I’m in there trying to concentrate, and you’re yammering to your bank, or your girlfriend? Expect me to flush every 2 minutes.

Important question: what caliber for land shark?

Do you juggle too much? Project Happily Ever After explains the difference between balls that bounce and balls that break.

Buy Like Buffet is giving away an iPad.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.

I wrote a post about saving money on health care. It’s still a good post, but the HSA/FSA rules have changed. Now, you need a prescription to stock up on OTC meds at the end of the year to spend out your account.

When you buy something, do you ask yourself if you really need it? I wrote a post to help answer that question.

I also posted lesson 4 of my budget series. This is where I go over my “set aside” funds, the money for bills that are not regular or for set amounts.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

5 Things to Do in the New Year was included in Crystal’s rockin’ Totally Money Carnival. I’ll be hosting it in a couple of weeks.

Quit Smoking: My First Frugal Move…Ever was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

Dreams

Finance, Life

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.

The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.

Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.

I rock like that.

Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.

$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.

Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.

Expensive.

My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.

You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.

That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.

Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.

There are several steps in between.

I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.

Period.