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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Sunday Roundup: Varsity Punk

Misc

I moved this roundup to Sunday to give myself a bit more time to track my weight-loss and push-up goals, since I weigh in on Saturdays. Yesterday, however was super busy. It was all good, but full.

Starting Friday: After work, I rushed my oldest to the B-squad wrestling tournament, where he took first place in his weight bracket. When I got home, I fell asleep almost immediately.

Saturday, we woke up and rushed to the varsity tournament. It was his first time wrestling varsity. Now, he wrestles for a youth league. Participants vary from 3rd to 8th grades. My son is 11, 5′ 7″, and 150 pounds. Guess who he wrestles? Almost exclusively eighth graders. He lost both of his matches, but he put in a great showing. He lasted a round and a half against the top-rated kid in his bracket and managed to get quite a few points.

After that, we rushed home, made dinner for some friends and went to a movie. Red Riding Hood is worth seeing. We got home at 1 and immediately fell asleep. This is the first time I’ve had the computer on at home since Thursday night, other than to check movie times and prices.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet. I am currently up to 91 in a set and 261 in a session, spread across 5 sets. I’m expecting to be down in my next session, since I’ve totally slacked off the few days.

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 40 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 2 pound since last week. I’ve dropped 7 pounds in March, while doing an insane amount of push-ups and packing on a few pounds of muscle.

Total Inches: I have lost 24 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week. I’ve lost 7 inches each off of my waist and hips. It’s time to go clothes shopping, which sucks. I manage to avoid doing that for a year or more at a time, but now, my pants have stopped fitting. When I cinch my belt to where it actually fits, my jeans have pleats.

Best Posts

The recording industry has sued Limewire for damages totaling more than the economic value of…Earth.

Making money line is easier when you’re not bing conned. PT has a list of legit paying survey sites.

I’d love to raise chickens. It’s technically allowed in my city, but only with a permit that the city refuses to issue.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

I wrote Fall from Grace, a post about how and why I got into debt.

There was also a post on credit repair.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

You’re Gonna Die, Part 1 was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Getting Out of Debt: The Prime Rule as included in Carnival of Personal Finance.

Financial Pet Peeve: Fees To Receive Paper Bank Statements was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Money Problems – Day 5: Boosting Your Income

Finance

Pizza Delivery Bike — Image by Kevin H. via Flickr

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

Today we’re going to look at ways to boost your income.

People spend a lot of time talking about ways to reduce your expenses, but there is a better way to make ends meet. If you make more money, you will—naturally—have more money to work with, which will make it easier to balance your expenses. I’ve found it to be far less painful to make more money than to cut expenses I enjoy.

I can hear what you’re thinking. It’s easy to tell people to make more money, but what about telling them how? Guess what? I’m going to tell you how to make money because I rock.

By far, the simplest way to make more money is to convince whoever is paying you to pay you more for what you are already doing. In other words, get a raise. I know that’s easy to say. Money’s tight for a lot of companies and layoffs are common. None of that matters. Your company knows that hiring someone new will involve a lot of downtime during training. If you’ve been visibly doing your job, and the company isn’t on the brink of failure, it should be possible to get a bit of the budget tossed your way.

The first thing you need to do is get visible. If you habitually come in 15 minutes late, make it 15 minutes early. If you are working an alternative schedule, consider switching to the standard schedule, so everyone who matters can see you are at work. Start sending status updates to your boss, including copying him on emails to other people you work with, if those emails signify important milestones in a project.
Next, log your work. Keep track o what you do, what you’ve accomplished, and—most important—how much money you have made or saved for the company.
Third, do your research. Hit the salary survey sites to find out what other people in your field are making. Don’t worry if you are on the high side. There is always someone making more than you. If you are the exception to that rule, try using a similar variation of your job description and title. What’s the concrete difference between a software engineer I and and a software engineer II? About $15000.
Finally, schedule a meeting with your boss and ask. Lay out the things you’ve done, the amount you make for the company and what other companies are paying. Chances are, your boss will have a hard time refusing your request.

Another simple idea is to get a second job. Personally, I hate this idea, but it works wonders for some people. Gas stations and pizza stores offer flexible schedules and they are always hiring. If they aren’t willing to work with your schedule, or it doesn’t work out, you can always quit. This isn’t your main income, after all.

My favorite option is to create a new income stream. What can you do?

Take a piece of paper and a close friend and brainstorm how you can make some money. Write down every type of activity you have ever done or ever wanted to do. Then write down everything you can think of that other people who do those activities need or want. Remember, during a brainstorming session, there are no stupid ideas. Take those two lists and see if there is any product or service you can provide.

You can start a blog—although don’t expect to generate much money early—or try writing for some revenue-sharing article web sites, like hubpages or squidoo. Other options include affiliate marketing, garage sale arbitrage(buying “junk” at garage sales, fixing it up and selling it), or even doing yard work for other people.

One interesting business I’ve seen lately is a traveling poop-scooper. These people travel around and scoop poop out of ddog-owners’ yards. Business booms in the spring when the snow melts, but it can be an ongoing income, since dogs don’t stop pooping.

Raising your income can make it easier to pay your bills, pay off your debt, or even taking nice vacations. How have you made some extra cash?

Saturday Roundup – Dirty Beggar Edition

Misc

: Image by Chris Pirillo via Flickr

I have a favor to ask. Free Money Finance is running his annual March Money Madness blog contest. Please drop by and vote for me. Just comment with “Game 6: Bags”. Thank you!

Starting next week, my roundups will be happening on Sunday. I weigh in on Saturday, and that just makes me feel rushed on Saturday mornings.

Free Money Tip

INGDirect is having a sweet promotion. Open a checking account, use it three times in 45 days, and get $50 free. Free money is the best kind. I love my ING account and keep all of my savings there. If you don’t have an account there, yet, now is a great time to open one.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 20 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 3 pounds since last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 10 inches in the same time frame, down 1 since last week.

That is kind of a disappointing week, after losing 17 pounds in the two previous weeks. Still, it’s progress. Should I blame it on getting sloppy with the supplements and timed exercise, which aren’t(technically) necessary, the vagaries of losing weight, or the fact that I(gasp) had some feta cheese on a salad yesterday(Dairy is out, but I didn’t recognize it until it was too late and I was happy.)? I’ll go with B. Weight loss is never completely consistent.

Best Posts

If some puny little constellation can mess up our zodiac signs, what will a second sun do?

Everyday Tips and Thoughts ran a post on cell phone etiquette. I agree wholeheartedly with the bathroom talkers. I’m in there trying to concentrate, and you’re yammering to your bank, or your girlfriend? Expect me to flush every 2 minutes.

Important question: what caliber for land shark?

Do you juggle too much? Project Happily Ever After explains the difference between balls that bounce and balls that break.

Buy Like Buffet is giving away an iPad.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.

I wrote a post about saving money on health care. It’s still a good post, but the HSA/FSA rules have changed. Now, you need a prescription to stock up on OTC meds at the end of the year to spend out your account.

When you buy something, do you ask yourself if you really need it? I wrote a post to help answer that question.

I also posted lesson 4 of my budget series. This is where I go over my “set aside” funds, the money for bills that are not regular or for set amounts.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

5 Things to Do in the New Year was included in Crystal’s rockin’ Totally Money Carnival. I’ll be hosting it in a couple of weeks.

Quit Smoking: My First Frugal Move…Ever was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

Money Problems – Day 3: What’s Coming In?

Finance

Husquarna automower, taken by me 2007-06-02 — Image via Wikipedia

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

This is day 3 and today, you are going to take a look at your income.

We are only interested your take-home pay, because that is what you have to base a budget on. If you base your budget on your gross pay, you’re going to be in trouble when you try to spend the roughly 35% of your check that gets taken for taxes and benefits.

Income is a pretty straight-forward topic. It is—simply—how much money you make in a month. If you are like most people, the easiest way to tell how much money you make is to look at your last paycheck. Then, multiply it by the number of pay periods in a year and divide the total by 12.

Here’s the formula: Cash x Yearly Pay Periods / 12. Yay, math!

If you get paid every 2 weeks, multiply your take-home pay by 26, then divide by 12 to figure your monthly pay. For example, if you make $1000 every two weeks, your annual take-home pay is $26,000. Divide that by 12 to get your monthly pay of $2166.66. If you get paid semi-monthly, you’ll take that same $1000 x 24 / 12, for a total of $2000 per month.

Now you know how much you make each month. Woo!

Is it enough? Who knows? We’ll get into that later. In the meantime, spend some time thinking about ways you can make more money. Do you have a talent or a hobby that you can turn into cash?

If you’re a craftsy type, make stuff and sell it on eBay or Etsy.
If you’re a writer, start a blog, sell articles on oDesk, or start writing for paid article directories. Squidoo has a revenue sharing plan for your articles.
Facebook maven? Start making Pages for companies. They will pay for it.
Are you mechanically inclined? Watch your local free market sites for lawn mowers and snowblowers that don’t run. You can fix them up and sell them.
If you’re a clean freak, start a home-cleaning service on evenings and weekends.

There are always ways to make some extra money, if you are willing. Sit down with a friend or loved one and brainstorm what you can do. Write down anything you can do, you enjoy, or you are good at. Remember, there are no stupid ideas when you are brainstorming. The bad ideas will get filtered out later.

How could you make some (more) side cash?

Dreams

Finance, Life

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.

The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.

Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.

I rock like that.

Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.

$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.

Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.

Expensive.

My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.

You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.

That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.

Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.

There are several steps in between.

I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.

Period.