Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.
A Look Back
I’m on vacation this week and thought it would be nice to post a look back at some of my early posts. These posts are some of my favorites, but were written when there were only 3 or 4 of you paying attention.
Since I know you don’t want to miss anything, here are 5 of my favorite early posts, in no particular order:
1. Cthulhu’s Guide to Finance. I’m more than a bit of a horror geek. Books, movies, or games; all keep me entertained. Over the weekend, I taught my Mom how to play Zombie Fluxx and Gloom. When Cthulhu approached me about writing a guest post, I couldn’t refuse.
2. Birthday Parties Are Evil. It’s hard to remember to be cheap when your little girl is asking for a bowling party. It can run $200 to get a dozen kids an hour of bowling and a bit of pizza.
3. No Brakes. This is a post about why I had a hard time coming to grips with financial responsibility.
4. 4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper. Who can’t love a BDSM-themed personal finance post? Every blog needs a dominatrix mascot, right?
5. Fighting Evil by Phone. In which I share the method of convincing Big Nasty Telephone Company and their Contracted, Soulless Long Distance Provider to leave me the heck alone and stop demanding $800 they refused to admit was their mistake.
Stealing Motivation
We go a bit overboard on Halloween.
Maybe more than a bit. The yard in the video is mine. As I write this, I’ve got 40 tombstones, more than 200 skulls, and half a dozen life-size props in my yard. The coffin leaning against the tree was bought used on the secondhand coffin market.
I have a motion-activated monster whose eyes light up as his head turns to watch you as you walk past. He just happens to be the exact size in all dimensions as my son was 4 years ago.
A few years ago, I built a beautiful zombie who–not so coincidentally–had the exact height and proportions as my wife.
Last year, a few days before Halloween, somebody came into my yard and stole my bride. They also tried stealing the small coffin, but only managed to get away with the lid, leaving the coffin itself behind.
I hate thieves.
This year, I was at the Financial Bloggers Conference the weekend I traditionally set up for Halloween, so I was getting a late start.
Every time I’ve tried to get out and set up my yard, I just keep thinking about the irreplaceable pieces that were stolen. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a child-sized coffin lid dating back to 1863? Or how impossible it is to get the 100 hours of my life I put into my zombie?
I think about how hurt I would be if somebody stole my son-sized animatronic ghoul or the demon who shares my measurements, but is two feet shorter. I’ve spent hundreds of hours per year, over 10 years building my yard full of one-of-a-kind props, and someone felt it was acceptable to tear down a section of my skull fence, come into my yard, and steal a little piece of my life.
Motivation has been difficult this year.
Last night, while I was out arranging my much-reduced yard haunt, a neighbor came by to let me know that he was disappointed with the smaller production. He wasn’t upset, but he–like the entire neighborhood–love watching the gore grow in my yard while anticipating the evening full of screams as the kids wander through every Halloween.
I can’t do it.
The thieving punks stole not just two of my favorite props, but a huge piece of my desire to scare the neighborhood kids.
Maybe I just need a year off, so I can come back with better ideas and a security plan more detailed than “my neighbors love this, none of them would steal anything!”
I would love to find the thieves. Post-beating, I’d explain how stealing from anyone is stealing a small and irreplaceable part of their lives. Stealing their handcrafted treasure is ripping out a piece of their soul. Stealing their motivation is stealing the memories for every visitor who would ever benefit from their craft, if the motivation is dead enough to kill the production.
I hope I’m not to that point, yet, but I can’t promise anything. Maybe next year.
Future Me Returns
This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
Smoking Saved My Life
Lately, I’ve been traveling for work about twice per month. The trips have generally been to my company headquarters, about 5 hours east of my house, though at the time this goes live, I will be ending another trip in the Chicago area.
Earlier this month, I was out there to conduct some training webinars and enjoy the company Christmas party. After the party, my insomnia kicked in and I couldn’t sleep. At 6AM, I decided to give it up for a lost cause and pack my stuff for the 5 hour drive home.
On no sleep.
The morning after a nasty ice storm.
I do not have a death wish.
Really.
I got packed, ready to go. Then crawled back in bed with the nap timer on my phone set. Thirty minutes later, I checked out of the hotel and got in my car.
I really don’t want to die, though this trip scared me a bit. It’s a long 5 hours, 4.5 of those hours are on one road, driving across southern Wisconsin. Tedious is one word that comes to mind. Mind-numbing and lullaby-driving are two others.
Instead of getting on the highway, I drove to Wal-mart. I stocked up on cigarettes and Rockstar.
Now, I quit smoking 6 years ago when we found out brat #3 was coming a bit faster than we expected. It was purely a financial decision at that point, but breathing turned out to be a nice change, too.
Nicotine is a stimulant with immediate effects. That means, if I start feeling drowsy, I can smoke a cigarette and I quit feeling drowsy while I chug energy drinks.
Good plan, Jason.
It worked. I made it home, then fell on the couch and didn’t move for 4 hours. Then I ate dinner and went to bed.
Unfortunately, even after quitting for 6 years, by the time I got home, it felt like I’d never quit. So I get the joy of quitting again.
By the time you read this, the craving should be gone and I should just be getting ready to climb in my car for a long drive on not enough sleep.
Does Amanda Bynes Need a Conservatorship?
The publicly documented downward spiral of Amanda Bynes may be reaching its breaking point. She has been on psychiatric lockdown for the past three days, and her parents are petitioning for conservatorship in California
on the grounds that they believe she is suffering from acute schizophrenia. They claim that the troubled starlet is unable to make safe decisions regarding her own well-being, not to mention the safety of others. The issue is complex, but the former childhood star has demonstrated that she meets the criteria to have external guardians instated to protect her from unpredictably irrational behaviors.
This was not the first criminal case against Bynes; she is also dealing with hit-and-run allegations in California. It was also not her last interaction with the police. Most recently, the actress doused an elderly woman’s driveway in gasoline and set it ablaze. She accidentally covered a puppy in the flammable liquid, so she ran down the block looking for something to save the animal from catching fire. After ransacking a convenience store, officers accosted her. The exchange resulted in the psychiatric hold that has been placed on Bynes.
Unfortunately, grounds for conservatorship can be exceedingly challenging to meet. Clear proof of mental illness needs to provided, and the standards are rigidly strict; however, if anyone has showcased the fanatical craziness that constitutes a lack of personal responsibility, it is Amanda Bynes.
Her schizophrenia is no longer dormant. The actress has become obsessed with plastic surgery, and she has deformed her face with cheek piercings. She uses online social networks to decry public figures for their ugliness. Victims of this attack include even Barack and Michelle Obama. Furthermore, she makes offensive sexual remarks towards rappers, and she wants to be a hip-hop artist herself. She has spent fortunes on a wig collection, and she employs a different style at every court appearance. The actress even used one as a disguise for an incognito trip to a trampoline emporium.
Anyone that has seen her Nickelodeon program would not be shocked to learn that she was schizophrenic. The role had her switching between dozens of identities for different skits, and she even played a character that was, in effect, obsessively stalking the star herself. “The Amanda Show” was neurotically fast-paced. Ultimately, the entire program can now be viewed as an eerie foreshadowing to the budding of a latent psychological disorder. If the legal standards of insanity are not met, then she will be free to wreak havoc on herself and others.