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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Celebrities

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana
Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

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Sunday Roundup

Misc

Bugatti Veyron
Image via Wikipedia

I just realized that I screwed up on Friday’s post and accidentally scheduled it for July 31 instead of July 1.   Sorry about that.

I am pretty excited about tomorrow’s post.   I’m going to…well, that should wait for tomorrow.   It’ll be fun, though.

Best Posts

It’s a basic economic principle:  If you want to sell less of something, charge more for it.   That works for labor costs, too.  Raising the minimum wage, especially when there is a recession, will only cause less employment.

This is a neat business idea.   Sometimes, a small business wants a mailing address that isn’t the owner’s home address.

Foreign CDs seem tempting.  You can make a decent return in India.   Just make sure it’s a legit bank, instead of the “Cayman Island” banks that exist just to collect wire transfers from the US.

In a high-tax, high-regulation environment, the underground economy will thrive, every time.   Working for cash and no paperwork can be tempting.

Here’s a sample email to help you buy a car.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Shattering Taboos was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.   I’ve been slacking off on carnival submissions lately.

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Have a great week!

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Crying is for Winners

Finance

Have you ever seen a kid come off a wrestling mat, crying his eyes out because he lost?

Wrestling Sideways - Really
Wrestling Sideways - Really (Photo credit: Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton)

Often, that kid will get told to be tough and stop crying.

That’s wrong.

I’m not opposed to teaching kids not to cry under most circumstances, but just after an intense competition, I love it.   It’s the best possible sign that the kids was pouring his soul into winning.   It means he was trying with everything he had.

It means he is–or will be–a winner.

When a kid, particularly a boy in a tough sport, is crying, you know he’s going to try harder and do better next time.

For all of the “tough guy” ability it takes to succeed as a wrestler, I’ve never seen another wrestler teasing the crier.   They’ve all been there.    Wrestling is a team sport, but you win or lose a match on your own.   When you step out in front of hundreds of people and spend 3 to 6 minutes giving every ounce of everything you have to give, only to find it’s not good enough, you’ll often find you don’t have the final reserve necessary to control your emotions.

This is different than a kid crying because he lost a game, just because he lost.   Some kids feel entitled to win anything they do, regardless of the effort they put it.  That’s also wrong.

Crying at a loss is okay after putting in maximum effort and full energy, not because the dice went the wrong way.

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5 Ways to Reduce Temptation and Have a Peaceful dinner

Finance, Life

It never fails: you send the kids off to the salt mine babysitter for the evening, cook a nice dinner and light some candles. Then, just as you sit down, the phone rings.

Now you have 2 choices, you can do like me and ignore the phone if it’s inconvenient to answer or you can ruin a romantic dinner.   The telemarketers know that, statistically, you are home at dinner time.  They don’t care if you are celebrating an anniversary or just trying to connect with your loved one.

Why not preemptively stop the irritation? While you’re at it, stop the junk mail, too. It’s not as hard as you’d think.  It’s a simple, almost free process that will not only eliminate the frustration of pointless calls and sorted junk mail, but will also cut down on the temptation of seeing something shiny to buy.

Here are the four steps to a leaner, greener and romantic dinner-making you:

1. Get on all of the Do Not Call lists.

  • You can get on the federal list by visiting www.donotcall.gov or calling (888) 382-1222.  The tele-sales weasels will have have a month to clear you out of their systems.
  • If you still get calls–some calls are still allowed, including political calls, non-profit fundraisers, and surveys–they are still required to maintain an in-house do not call list.  Tell them to put you on that list.
  • Many states have a Do Not Call list that is entirely independent of the the federal list. This is redundant, but the more roadblocks you put up, the better you will be.

If you are still getting calls, report them to the FTC at:

Federal Trade Commission
Consumer Response Center
600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20580
1-877-FTC-HELP
www.ftc.gov

2.  Opt out of junk mail. The Direct Marketing Association manages a list of people who do not want junk mail.  This list only applies to members of the association, but most mass-mailers participate.  Go to www.dmachoice.org to enroll.  It costs $1 to get on the list and will stop most junk mail for 3 years.

3. Opt out of pre-approved credit card offers. Go to  www.optoutprescreen.com to remove your name from the lists generated by the major credit bureaus to sell to marketing firms.  You can put a halt to this breed of junk for 5 years or forever.

4. Ask them to stop. If you are getting catalogs from a company with which you have an existing relationship, ask them to knock it off.   Virtually every one will stop sending you garbage to ensure a continuing business relationship with you.

5.  Guerrilla Warfare. If none of this works, there are still a couple of options.

  • Keep an airhorn by the phone.   They won’t call twice.
  • Take everything you receive from a company, stuff it all in the prepaid return envelope they helpfully included, and drop it back in the mail.   They only get charged for the prepaid envelopes when they are used, so use them up.  It’s illegal to alter them to send mail to other people, but it’s not illegal to mail them all of their own garbage.  If you cost them enough money, they will eventually back down.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-10

Misc

  • "The best way to spend your money is to spend it on time, not on stuff." http://su.pr/2tr5iP #
  • First bonus by stock options today. Not sure I'm impressed. #
  • RT @chrisguillebeau: US border control just walked the train asking "Are you a US citizen?" Native American guy says: "One of the originals" #
  • @FARNOOSH My credit score is A measure of my integrity not THE measure. in reply to FARNOOSH #
  • I'm listening to a grunge/metal cover of "You are my sunshine" #
  • There's something funny about a guy on reality TV whining about how private he is. #LAInk #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-24

Misc

  • Watching Gamers:Dorkness Rising #
  • Charisma? Weee! #
  • Tweeting a dork movie? I'm a bit of a geek. #
  • We just met and the first thing you do, after boinking a stranger in the presence of the king, is to murder a peasant? #
  • Every movie needs a PvN interlude. #
  • Everything's better with pirates. #
  • Waffles? Recognize. #
  • The Spatula of Purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance. #
  • Checkout clerks licking their fingers to separate bags or count change is gross. #
  • Watching Sparkles the Vampire, Part 2: Bella's Moodswing. #twilight #
  • @penfed was a waste of money. $20 down the drain to join, wouldn't give a worthwhile limit, so I can't transfer a balance. #
  • @JAlanGrey It's pretty lame. The first one was ok. This one didn't improve on the original. in reply to JAlanGrey #
  • RT @tferriss: Are you taking snake oil? Beautiful data visualization of scientific evidence for popular supplements: http://ping.fm/pqaDi #
  • Don't need more shelves, more storage, more organization. Just need less stuff. #
  • @BeatingBroke is hosting the Festival of Frugality #226 http://su.pr/80Osvn #
  • RT @tferriss: Cool. RT @cjbruce link directly to a time in a YouTube video by adding #t 2m50s to end of the URL (change the time). #
  • RT @tferriss: From learning shorthand to fast mental math – The Mentat Wiki: http://ping.fm/fFbhJ #
  • RT @wisebread: How rich are you? Check out this list (It may shock you!!!) http://www.globalrichlist.com/ #
  • RT @tferriss: RT @aysegul_c free alternative to RosettS: livemocha.com for classes, forvo.com for pronunc., lang8.com for writing correction #
  • Childish isn't an insult. http://su.pr/ABUziY #
  • Canceled the Dish tonight. #