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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Why I chose a prepaid credit card

Finance

This is a guest post.

You can’t get credit without a credit card, and you can’t get a credit card without good credit. This is a dilemma that many people find themselves facing, whether they are trying to re-establish their credit or build credit for the first time. In fact, this is the dilemma that I found myself in. My solution was to get a prepaid card, and here’s why.

The Real Deal with Prepaid

Prepaid credit cards have earned a mixed reputation over the years. While it’s true that they usually have more fees than a regular credit card, they also offer a financial solution for people who don’t have good credit. And you should also keep in mind that they don’t charge interest because the cash that you are using is yours to begin with. The important thing to remember about prepaid cards is that they are a means to an end; once you rebuild your credit, you’ll find it much easier to apply for a card with better rates and fewer fees.

In addition, prepaid cards offer several advantages. The most important one for me was the convenience of having a card that I could use to make purchases. Prepaid cards look and work exactly like regular credit cards (you don’t have to enter a personal identification number to use them), so the only one who knows it is prepaid is me. And while I use cash for everyday purchases, there’s no avoiding the need for a card when you have to shop online or pay for gasoline at the pump, for example. Most digital merchants only accept payments from cards linked to large financial brands like Mastercard and Visa, and my card gives me a way to buy what I need from whoever has it in stock. In addition, my prepaid card offers me a way to keep track of all of my purchases electronically, which is helpful since I am trying to keep a closer eye on my budget.

Prepaid cards also offer security. Cash can easily be lost or stolen, but if you lose a prepaid card, you can easily get a replacement. More importantly, your balance is protected by a replacement guarantee from your bank, which comes in handy if you ever have to dispute fraudulent charges.

Perhaps the most convenient factor of a prepaid card, though, is how easy it is to get one. You don’t have to have a bank account in your name to receive a prepaid card. However, if you do have an account, you can easily link it to your prepaid card.

Changing my spending habits and getting out of debt hasn’t been easy for me, but one way for me to show creditors that I am getting better at managing finances is to build my credit with my prepaid card. It’s also a way for me to eventually be able to make big purchases that are necessary, such as a car, and hopefully one day, a home. Prepaid isn’t for everyone, but if you find yourself considering this option, it’s worth a second look.

What to Take Away From John Cleese’s Divorce

Celebrities

Cleese as a Mexican maraca soloist as part of ... — Cleese as a Mexican maraca soloist as part of his 1977 guest appearance on The Muppet Show (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you haven’t been kept under a rock your whole life, you’re likely familiar with actor and comedian John Cleese. Part of the infamous Monty Python crew, he starred in films such as Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail, and television shows such as Faulty Towers. However, are you familiar with what has happened to Mr. Cleese financially over the past few years?

When Cleese divorced his third wife she ended up with a divorce settlement that quite literally made her richer than him, despite the fact that they were married for only 16 years and had produced no children.

Divorce is, unfortunately, a fixture of modern society, and people of both sexes need to know how they can protect their personal finances in case of a divorce. After all, these days more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, so not preparing yourself financially for it is engaging is some rather wishful thinking. So how best to protect yourself and your personal finances, should you be unfortunate enough to have to go through one?

If you are the higher-earning party, get a pre-nup prior to marriage; this simply cannot be overemphasized. Cleese himself, already married to wife number four, incidentally, was told that he should have her sign a prenuptial agreement, he initially didn’t want to, despite having just been taken to the proverbial cleaners. He only reluctantly had one written up when his legal team essentially insisted. Even though prenups can be challenged or modified in court, if you are the party bringing more assets to the relationship, it is irresponsible of you not to solicit a prenuptial agreement from a potential spouse.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you should protect assets you have in joint accounts with your spouse, and also begin to actively monitor your credit, if things become acrimonious between you two. This way, you will prevent them from absconding with the totality of your shared funds, or ruining your credit if they are feeling malicious. If you need further information on how to do this properly, speak with a qualified financial planner.

So if you find yourself considering marriage and either have significant assets to protect or suspect you might have them in the future, you owe it to yourself to look into the legalities surrounding prenuptial agreements, and other thorny issues related to personal finance. Failure to do so can end up seriously impacting your life in a negative way, should you ever be faced with a vindictive or greedy spouse; protect yourself!

Funeral Costs: How to Keep it Inexpensive, Without Being Cheap

Finance, Life

MIAMI - JANUARY 24: A pallbearer for Poitier ... — Image by Getty Images via @daylife

The average funeral costs $6500. Many people die with absolutely no savings. Even if there is life insurance, it takes weeks to get the money, while a funeral is completed within a week.

Funeral homes have an easy sales pitch. Nobody wants to sully the memory of their loved ones. The tiniest hint of a guilt trip will have most families upgrading to the silk pillow in a second. Here’s a secret: Your loved one doesn’t care. I’m not recommending using garbage bags and a dumpster. By all means, treat your loved ones with care, but don’t go overboard.

Not everyone is comfortable with cremation, and some religions don’t permit it, but it is probably the least expensive way to process a body. It costs approximately $1400 to cremate a body and you can get very attractive urns for under $100. Compare that to a $3500 casket and storage & transportation fees, and–from a strictly monetary standpoint–the choice is clear.

Don’t worry too much about decorating. Flowers aren’t cheap and florists don’t tend to offer discounts to people who aren’t emotionally prepared to negotiate and who are in a time crunch to find the flowers they need. Get a few bouquets for a small display around the casket or urn, and let the rest take care of itself. Many of the guests will bring flowers, so the entrance will soon be decorated for free, and that’s the part that makes the first impression.

Shopping online can save you a lot of money on an urn. Funeral homes will try to sell you a $500 urn, which may include a 1000% markup. If you buy online, you will have to pay for overnight shipping, but that’s a small cost compared to the standard markup. You can also find a huge discount on attractive caskets by shopping outside of the funeral home. Federal law prohibits funeral homes from requiring that you buy a casket from them or charging you a fee for getting one elsewhere.

This may be the most ghoulish part of this article, but you can dig the grave yourself. It’s probably not worth it for a full-size casket, but for an urn, you can save hundreds of dollars. An urn generally only needs to be buried 18 inches deep, as opposed to the 6 feet required for caskets. Just be sure to check with the cemetery and get the burial location right. If you think it’s ghoulish to dig the grave, just picture digging it up. Not fun.

Planning a funeral is never enjoyable, and it’s often expensive. Nothing you do will make it fun, but it is possible to make it affordable.

Have you had to coordinate a funeral? Did you take the funeral director’s recommendations, or did you cut some costs?

Playing For Blood

Parenting

Toys of Christmas Past — Image by brizzle born and bred via Flickr

Kris at Every Tips and Thoughts wrote a post about games and ~~letting her kids win~~ feeling bad about winning. I disagree. This post is an expansion of my comment there.

When we play games in my house, we play for blood. I’ve never let my kids win and they know it. From the first time the kids attempt Memory, they know they’ve got to earn a win against Mom and Dad. They know if they lose, they must do so gracefully. If they pout or cry, they lose game privileges for a while. I demand good sportsmanship, win or lose.

To be clear, my kids are 3, 4, and 11 and they are all held to the same standards of sportsmanship. Win or lose, they will do so gracefully. There will be no temper tantrums when they are Sorry’d and no pouting when the Queen is captured.

It took my son almost 3 years to beat me at chess. When it finally happened, he was almost as proud as I was and still talks about it 5 years later.

It’s not much fun playing games with his friends. They were coddled and expect to win everything. I have to take away game privileges just like I do for my 3 year old. They hate that because we have the coolest board games. Nobody else has games that involve zombies or disembodied brains.

What has the result been?

My kids love playing games. This week, my oldest has been teaching his sisters how to play Life. When he visits his friends, he’s as likely to bring a board game as an electronic game. He’s got a good mind for strategy, and I can’t remember the last time he pouted when I tromped him.

My 4 year old hasn’t mastered gamesmanship yet, but she will. When I threaten to put the game away, she wipes her eyes, and keeps playing, even if her jaw is chattering. She knows what is expected and works to live up to it.

Both of the older kids are competitive. They’ve never had a win handed to them, and they have each had wins they had to work for, and they know how it feels to win and earn it.

The youngest doesn’t care if she wins, she’s just happy to play. In my experience, the competitive gameplay gene doesn’t activate until 4.

In my mind, the real world won’t hand them any wins, so I might as well start teaching them how to work for it now.

How about you? Do you let your kids win, or do you teach them that all games are bloodsports?

Don’t Be A Dick

Life

White chocolate is marketed by confectioners a... — Image via Wikipedia

Integrity is what you do when nobody is looking.

Do you cheat at solitaire, steal from an untended garage sale, or keep something a store forgets to charge you for? If so, integrity may not be your strongest trait.

Similarly, if you let the actions of others dictate your behavior, you may be integrity impaired.

If you get cut off in traffic, do suddenly feel justified in cutting off the next guy?

If you have a dollar stolen from your desk, does that make it okay to take a candy bar from the honor-system candy box?

If the last guy left the water cooler empty, are you going to refuse to refill it the next time you are the one to drink the last drop?

If you’re answering yes to these questions, it may be time to examine your moral code. Doing the right thing means doing the right thing all of the time. You can’t be an honorable person if you resort to dishonorable behavior whenever you dislike what someone else does, especially if your actions are hurting an entirely uninvolved 3rd party.

You know the proper behavior. You know what the ethical choice is. The fact that someone else made an unethical choice doesn’t give you a license to be a dick.

If it’s your turn to clean the community refrigerator, do it and do it well, even if the last guy did a poor job.

If the last mom driving the car pool showed up late, don’t deliberately forget her kid.

If someone forgot to pay at a group lunch and you covered it, that doesn’t mean you can skip out on the bill next time.

Even if everything else is taken from you, no one can ever steal your ethics, your integrity, or your honor. Those things are up to you to destroy, and they nearly impossible to replace.

In all cases, in all things, do the right thing. You won’t be sorry.

Resurrected from the archives.

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