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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Shattering Taboos

Finance, Relationships

ta·boo

-adjective

1. proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable: taboo words.

There is a societal prohibition against talking about money, especially actual money. Talking about a deal, or the hypothetical bundle you lost on the Super Bowl is ok, but discussing how much money you make, or how much you have saved for retirement is almost as bad as talking about sex. In many social circles, it’s far worse.

Money is one of the primary causes of divorce, second only to infidelity. It can cause myriad problems, including anxiety, depression, paranoia, impotence, impulse spending, gambling, social isolation, suicide, and murder. Yet even therapists hesitate to discuss finance with their patients.

Occasionally to the chagrin of my family and friends, I’ve almost completely destroyed that taboo in myself. After spending a year and a half writing about everything I do financially, I’ve found myself with very little hesitation to talk about my finances in real life. I don’t mind discussing my credit card debt, my projections on paying off my mortgage, or almost anything else, with the exception of my salary. I’ve never seen anything good come from coworkers comparing paystubs. Somebody always gets hurt feelings.

Aside from that one exception, I think it’s healthy to talk about money. How many kids launch into adulthood financially clueless because their parents wouldn’t talk about money? How many marriages could be saved if couples would talk about their financial problems before they became financial disasters?

How can you go about breaking down the mental barrier to talking about money? Starting a personal finance blog and writing three to four times per week for a couple of years isn’t a practical solution for everyone.

Start small.

Mention the fact that you have a credit card balance(assuming you do) when you are talking to a friend. Suggest a coworker appeal his property taxes, or offer a couple of tips to help your cousin negotiate her rent.

Most importantly, start having these conversations with your spouse/significant other/life partner. If you can plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can certainly plan to discuss one of the most important topics in your life with her. If you can’t, are you really a good fit?

Try it. Break down that taboo. Your life will be better for it.

Are you afraid to talk about money?

Kris Jenner’s $125 Million Divorce

Celebrities, Gossip

In what could end up being an incredibly expensive divorce, Bruce and Kris Jenner, of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” fame have announced that their separation will be permanent. Reports suggest that the couple had no prenuptial agreement and that 125 million dollars is on the line. In California, anyone who decides to get divorced without a prenup will split assets right down the middle.

Bruce Jenner found fame in the 1970s when he attended the Montreal Olympics and won a gold medal in the decathlon event. After that momentous achievement, Bruce was able to set up licensing and endorsement deals that netted him millions of dollars. In the decades after the marriage, Bruce’s star began to fade as he started eschewing his motivational speaking career in favor of staying at home, to raise the two children that came from the marriage.By the time Kris married Bruce in 1991, she’d just divorced famous defense lawyer Robert Kardashian after a marriage that lasted about 13 years. She already had 4 children by the time she married Bruce that year. It wasn’t until 2007 when daughter Kim’s infamous “sex tape” hit the airwaves that the family started skyrocketing to fame, and the fortune started to grow.

Rumors suggest that Bruce wasn’t enthusiastic about his permanent role as sidekick to his wife and that he wasn’t allowed to help with any major decisions impacting the family.

Although a joint media statement from the former couple suggests that the split was “amicable,” it’s difficult to believe that two decades of marriage and a 125 million dollar fortune would just end with a friendly split. What seems clear from rumors and reports about the couple; however, is that there was no specific event which pushed the couple apart.

In their statement, the soon-to-be divorced couple said:

“But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”

In addition, sources also suggest that the reality television empire won’t come screeching to a halt. Interestingly, soon after the news broke that Bruce and Kris would be separating, Bruce and some of the couple’s children were seen at a golf course. When the family noticed a paparazzi taking a picture from across the green, the Jenner family each flipped the bird to the photographer while each had a huge smile on his or her face.

Interestingly, it seems that Kris was the first to take her wedding ring off after the divorce announcement while Bruce was photographed still wearing his ring.

There haven’t been any reports of infidelity or abuse between the couple and many of the anonymous sources who have come out to offer insight on the divorce have said that the split was a long time in coming. Bruce was already staying at a rental property for several months at the time of the divorce announcement and hadn’t been living inside the Kardashian compound in Calabasas for some time.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-17

Misc

RT @kristinbrianne: Get Talk and Txt Unlimited Cell Svc w/ Free Phone for $10 per month by joining DNA for Free. http://tinyurl.com/yyg5ohn #
RT: @ChristianPF is giving away an iPod Touch! – RT to enter to win… http://su.pr/2LS3p5 #
74 inch armspan and forearms bigger than my biceps. No, I don't button my shirt cuffs. #
RT @deliverawaydebt Money Hackers Network Carnival #111 – Don't Hassel the Hoff Edition http://bit.ly/9BIAvE #
@bargainr What would it take to get you to include me in the personal-finance-bloggers list? #
Working on a Penfed application to transform my worst interest rate into my best. #
Gave the 1 year old pop rocks for the first time. Big smiles. #
@Netflix @Wii disc works well and loads fast. Go, go gadget movie! #

30 Day Project – January

Misc

This month, I have two 30 Day Projects.

My first project is to start waking up at 5am. This will add an extra 90 minutes to my day, which will give me time to manage all of my other 30 day projects. I’ll be able to wake up to a quiet house, walk the dog, eat breakfast and not start every day in a rush to get out of the house. Today was my exception. After watching 2010 arrive, I didn’t get up early.

The second project is to start reading to my children every night before bed. We read to the kids often, but not every day. That’s going to change. We are also working on breaking the girls of the family bed. If I can read them to sleep each night, it will help. Good, educational family time that makes it easier to sleep every night.

These are both habits I want to keep long after the month is up.

Do you have what it takes to be wealthy?

Finance, Life

I saw this quiz and thought it would be fun to liveblog taking it. Yes, I’m lame. I’m going to take the quiz here. I’m copying the questions over before reading the answers and answering each question before reading the next.

1. How optimistic are you?

I have to go with A, the glass is half full, but I like to think I’m more of a “That’s half of a glass of water” kind of guy.

2. When you grew up, your parents were:

A & C. We owned a home, but money was always tight. I’m picking C. We always had everything we needed, so we certainly weren’t poor, but I also didn’t have every video game system in existence.

3. How healthy are you?

A. I can’t complain. I’m borderline on a few issues, but overall, I’m pretty healthy.

4. How smart are you?

I’d bet very few people consider themselves stupid, regardless of evidence to the contrary. I’ll take B, smarter than most, and hope it doesn’t sound arrogant.

5. What level of education did you complete?

B. College. I went to a tech school and took a diploma program. That’s working out well for me, so far.

6. Physically, you are:

A, B, & C. I’m tall, heavy, and pretty darn sexy!

7. What’s your sibling situation?

I have two and I’m the middle child.

8. Are you married?

A. Yes, to spouse #1.

9. Do you have kids?

3 of the little monsters. They are a money-drain, but worth every penny. Most days.

10. Do you exercise?

D. I neither smoke nor exercise. There’s no middle-of-the-road answer to this one. You either hit the gym regularly, or you are a lump on the couch.

11. People describe you as:

B. Persistent. I think the actual word used is “obsessive”.

12. Do you believe a woman’s place is in the home.

A. I may joke about it, but that’s not a choice for me to make.

13. When it comes to work:

A, B & C. I have a day job, but I’m also regularly pursuing side-hustles, including one that is 4 years old and relatively profitable. Since I can only choose one, it’s A, because that’s my primary income.

14. How would you like to jump out of a plane?

A. I want to, but promised my wife I’d wait until the kids were out of the house.

15. Who would you rather emulate?

B. I’m not into an entourage, and have no urge to surround myself with 500 of my closest leeches. Good times with good friends is enough for me.

I scored 39 out of 72, which puts me in “You’ve got a shot at real money!” My financial outlook puts me at comfortable, but not care-free, which is an okay place to be.

What’s your score?

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