- @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
- I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
- RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
- TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
- Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
- RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
- First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #
Avoiding the Downside of Saving
Like all good silver linings, saving often comes with a storm cloud. Too often, people fall into the trap of forgetting to live while they are digging out of debt. Once you get into the habit of spending every spare cent to pay down debt, retirement, or a college fund, it gets easy to ignore the present in favor of the future. The downside–or potential downside–to saving, debt repayment, and frugality is a deferred life. Whether it’s deferred fun, deferred education, or deferred personal development, it can be detrimental to you and your relationships.
My wife and I have had this conversation. We’re in the groove on our debt repayment. We are making excellent progress right now. Since we’ve got it all automated, it leaves us time to plan, dream and consider our options. We’ve been looking at converting a hobby into a business venture. Doing so will involve a $1-2000 investment. If we can make it work, my wife will be able to quit her tolerable, comfortable, soul-sucking job within a couple of years. If we can’t, she will still have moved her hobby into an advanced–and more fun–level. That’s a win either way, but our initial reaction is to postpone. We already know we’ll have to postpone the purchases until we’ve saved for it, because we refuse debt in all forms. Our initial reaction has been to postpone saving, effectively deferring development with long-term potential to improve our lives until our debt is completely gone.
We’ve been discussing this, off and on, for months. We have finally decided to start saving, but only when we have money that is purely extra and we’ve tucked money into all of our other savings goals. It’s not a perfect solution, but it seems to be an acceptable compromise given our situation and values.
Regardless of your situation, it is important to remember not to defer your life while you tackle your debt or savings goals.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-01
- RT @Dave_Champion Obama asks DOJ to look at whether AZ immigration law is constitutional. Odd that he never did that with #Healthcare #tcot #
- RT @wilw: You know, kids, when I was your age, the internet was 80 columns wide and built entirely out of text. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: RT @FinanciallyPoor "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." ~ Unknown #
- Official review of the double-down: Unimpressive. Not enough bacon and soggy breading on the chicken. #
- @FARNOOSH Try Ubertwitter. I haven't found a reason to complain. in reply to FARNOOSH #
- Personal inbox zero! #
- Work email inbox zero! #
- StepUp3D: Lame dancing flick using VomitCam instead or choreography. #
- I approve of the Nightmare remake. #Krueger #
The Virtues of Blow Money
When we initially developed our budget, we built it tight. Every penny was accounted for and had a place to go. I was so proud.
Unfortunately, there were some problems with habitual–even compulsive–shopping in our house. The change from “whatever we wanted” to “it’s not budgeted” was too much, too fast.
After a few months of arguments, we agreed to set up a “blow money” line item in the budget. That’s money that is absolutely unaccountable. When a purchase comes out of that fund, no questions are allowed. Whether it’s a new pair of shoes for her, or a new book for me, nobody gets to fight over it. Sometimes, it’s a nice dinner out, other times it’s another gadget for the entertainment center. It’s never a problem.
This provides two major benefits.
First, it balances the feeling of sacrifice. If my wife never gets to buy anything, while at the same time, she’s watching our friends and neighbors flaunt their rampant consumerism, it makes her feel like she is giving up the good life. We aren’t lacking for anything, but the trappings of middle-class “success” can be expensive. Having an opportunity to participate in that horrible rat-race lessens the feeling that we are missing out. Rationally, we know that the right thing is not to spend that money, but emotionally, it’s a necessity.
Second, it’s a safety valve. Our finances are under tight control, which can cause pressure. Finances are, after all, one of the leading causes of divorce. Having a way to release that pressure makes everyone happier. Habitual shoppers experience shopping the same way drug addicts experience their “high”. That includes withdrawal. The safety valve turns this from a “cold turkey” method of quitting to a weaning of the addiction.
Another minor benefit is that the blow money can serve as an opportunity fund to bridge the gap between the discretionary budget and a desired purchase. Last week, we ran across a curio cabinet that exactly matches our living room, but we didn’t have it budgeted. Out comes the blow money, which, combined a portion of the discretionary budget and some negotiating, made the new cabinet affordable, without busting the budget.
This isn’t a system that works for everybody, but it keeps us on track.
How do you handle the stresses of a household budget?
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-29
- RT @ramseyshow: RT @E_C_S_T_E_R_I_: "Stupid has a gravitational pull." -D Ramsey as heard n NPR. I know many who have not escaped its orbit. #
- @BudgetsAreSexy KISS is playing the MINUTE state fair in August. in reply to BudgetsAreSexy #
- 3 year old is "reading" to her sister: Goldilocks, complete with the voices I use. #
- RT @marcandangel: 40 Useful Sites To Learn New Skills http://bit.ly/b1tseW #
- Babies bounce! https://liverealnow.net/hKmc #
- While trying to pay for dinner recently, I was asked if other businesses accepted my $2 bills. #
- Lol RT @zappos: Art. on front page of USA Today is titled "Twitter Power". I diligently read the first 140 characters. http://bit.ly/9csCIG #
- Sweet! I am the number 1 hit on Ask.com for "I hate birthday parties" #
- RT @FinEngr: Money Hackers Carnival #117 Wedding & Marriage Edition http://bit.ly/cTO4FU #
- Nobody, but nobody walks sexy wearing flipflops. #
- @MonroeOnABudget Sandals are ok. Flipflops ruin a good sway. 🙂 in reply to MonroeOnABudget #
- RT @untemplater: RT @zappos: "Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt #
A Bit of Christmas Magic
On Thursday, my wife left with my kids and dog. I had to work all day on Friday, so she took off to get an early start on Christmas at my brother’s house. I followed Saturday morning.
Two nights with no whining, and a bed to myself.
Friday afternoon, my wife called to tell me about her day.
When she got to my brother’s, she took her tailgate down to get the suitcases out of the back of her truck. She left the plastic container full of presents in her truck, since we’d be exchanging presents at my parent’s house nearby.
Friday morning, she left to feed her shopping addiction for a few hours.
When she got to the giant store that had our new car seats on sale, she discovered that she had neglected to put the tailgate back up on the truck when she unpacked. This was the box that held most of our budgeting overspend.
Gone.
When she called me, she was retracing her steps, hoping to find the box.
I was upset.
She didn’t find the box on the side of the road.
Gone.
Normally, this would be a strong object lesson in the futility of rampant consumerism. A lot of zen-like “the stuff you own is fleeting”, amidst the wailing of children who are discovering that their Christmas presents evaporated in a ditch somewhere.
Somebody found the box. I don’t know who.
Whoever it was, opened the box and saw the tears of small children inside. She read the name tags and, amazingly, recognized enough of the first names to place the family.
Keep in mind that I live more than 100 miles away, and moved out of the town 15 years ago.
This anonymous Christmas elf brought the box into a nearby gas station, and asked them to call my parents, since the names on the tags matched those of my parents’ grandchildren.
Everything was still in the box.
Everything was still intact.
Anonymous Christmas Elf saved Christmas for my family
.
