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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
“Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, [makes squish gesture] get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do “yes”, or karate do “no”. You karate do “guess so”, [makes squish gesture] just like grape. Understand?” -Mr. Miyagi
It occurred to me that lately, I’ve changed my day-to-day cash flow plans a couple of times.
A year ago, I was running on a fairly strict cash-only plan.
A month ago, I was running on a strict budget, but doing it entirely out of my checking account.
Now, I’m loosening the budget reins, and moving all of my payments and day-to-day spending to a credit card, including a new balance that I can’t immediately pay off.
The thing is, changing plans too often scares me. Like the quote at the beginning of this post, I start worrying about being squished like a grape.
The simple fact is that any plan will work.
If you want to get out of debt, just pick a plan and run with it. If that means you follow Dave Ramsey and do the low-balance-first debt snowball, good for you. Do it. If you follow Suze Ormann and do a high-interest first repayment plan, great. Do it. If you follow Bach and pay based on a complicated DOLP formula to repay in the quickest manner, wonderful! Do it!
Just don’t switch plans every month. If you do that, you’ll lose momentum and motivation. Squish like grape! Just pick a plan and go. It really, truly does not matter which plan you are following as long as you are following through.
This applies to other parts of your life, too. For example, there are a thousand fad diets out there. Here’s a secret: they all work. Every single one of them, whether it’s Weight Watchers, slow carb, or the beer-only diet. The only thing that matters is that you stick to the diet. If you manage that, you will lose weight on any diet out there. Except for the jelly bean and lard diet. That one will make you extra soft.
Another secret: the productivity gurus are right. Every single one of them. David Allen, Stephen Covey, Steve Pavlina, and the rest. They all have the One True Secret to getting the most out of your day. Really. Pick a guru and go! But don’t try to Get Things Done in the morning and do 7 Habits at night. Changing systems, changing plans, changing your mind will make you sabotage yourself.
The real secret to accomplishing great things, whether it’s paying off $100,000 of debt, dropping 40 pounds in 3 months, or tripling your productivity is to do it. Just get started and, once you’ve started, don’t stop. If you keep going and stay consistent, you’ll accomplish more than anyone who hops from system to system every few weeks.
I’ve been walking though my analytics data. That is the Big Brother software I use to know everything about each one of my dear readers. It’s all part of my master plan to rule the world. Muwahaha!
Some of the results are interesting.
The single most-used search term to find this site is “slow carb diet“, which is great, because I really enjoyed writing that post. I’ve been slacking on the diet lately, but I’m still down more than 30 pounds. I’m currently ranked #3 in Google for this term. If I move up 2 more spots, I’ll outrank Tim Ferriss for his own product. If I aggregated all of the “slow carb” variations, this post probably accounts for more than half of my traffic from Google.
Many of you come here by searching for “how to have a perfect life“. I’ll do everything I can to help you achieve that, but it’s going to take work on your part. There are no shortcuts.
“Beat the Check” is another popular search term, but a very bad game to play. It’s almost impossible to win it, since the Check 21 Act of 2004.
It’s interesting that “trained husband” brings a few of you each month. My question: are you shopping, or exploring a new fetish? Don’t be shy.
I’m a bit amazed that “zombie wheels” is something people actually search for, but 140 people hit Google looking for that term every month, and a few of them make it over here.
“How to stretch a meal“, “things you should buy online“, and “unsecured loan advice” are some of the top personal finance terms bringing you all in, though “how to make a bunker” and its variation are popular, too.
“Hoe can you force your wife” is a bit disturbing. Most of the results are naturally for sex. I can’t help but hope that I’ve either really disappointed this visitor, or convinced him that force is a bad idea.
“How much did a pound of gold weigh in 1854?” is a search that makes me giggle. To the best of my knowledge, the troy scale has been used to weigh gold for a lot longer than that.
That was a fun little stroll through my statistics. Hopefully the fact that I used “fetish” and “sex” in a post will draw more crazy search terms.
How did you find me? Inquiring minds want to know, so please tell me in the comments.
Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?
I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?
These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.
Everything for the kids.
As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.
It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.
What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.
When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.
This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.
Can you survive it? Can your marriage?
If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?
For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?
Your kids are temporary.
They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.
When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.
All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.
If you don’t have a hobby, get one.
If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.
Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.
The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.
Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.
I rock like that.
Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.
$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.
Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.
Expensive.
My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.
You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.
That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.
Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.
There are several steps in between.
I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.
Period.
We live in a decidedly credit-centric culture. Whip out cash to pay for $200 in groceries and watch the funny looks from the other customers and the disgust from the clerk. It’s almost like they are upset they have to know how to count to run a cash register.
If someone doesn’t have a credit card, everyone wonders what’s wrong, and assumes they have terrible credit. That’s a lousy assumption to make, but it happens. For most of the last two years, I shunned credit cards as much as possible, preferring cash for my daily spending. Spending two years changing my spending habits has made me comfortable enough to use my cards again, both for the convenience and the rewards.
Having a decent card brings some advantages.
Credit cards legally provide fraud protection to consumers. Under U.S. federal law, you are not responsible for more than $50 of fraudulent charges. many card issuers have extended this to $0 liability, meaning you don’t pay a cent if your card is stolen. Trying getting that protection with a wallet full of cash.
The fraud protection makes it easier to shop online, which more people are doing every day. At this point, there is no product you can buy in person that you can’t get online, often cheaper. How would you order something without a credit card? Even the prepaid cards you can buy and fill at a store will often fail during an online transaction because there is no actual person or account associated with the card. The “name as it appears on the card” is a protective feature for the credit card processors and they dislike accepting cards without it.
If you’re going to use a credit card, you need to make a good choice on which credit card to get. There are a few things to check before you apply for a card.
Annual fee. Generally, I am opposed to getting any card with an annual fee, but sometimes, it’s worth it. If, for example, a card provides travel discounts and roadside assistance with its $65 annual fee, you can cancel AAA and save $75 per year. A good rewards plan can balance out the fee, too. I’m using a travel rewards card that has a 2% rewards plan. That’s 2% on every dollar spent, plus discounts on some travel purchases. In a few months, I’ve accumulated $500 of travel rewards for the $65 fee that was waived for the first year. The math works. A card that charges an annual fee without providing services worth several times that fee isn’t worth getting.
Interest rate. This should be a non-issue. You should be paying off you card completely every month. In a perfect world. In the real world, sometimes things come up. In my case, I was surprised with a medical bill for my son that was 4 times larger than my emergency fund. It went on the card. So far, I’ve only had to pay one month’s interest, and I don’t see the balance surviving another month, but it’s nice that I’m not paying a 20% interest rate. Unfortunately, as a response the CARD Act, the days of fixed rate 9.9% cards seems to be over.
Grace period. This is the amount of time you have when the credit card company isn’t charging you interest. Most cards offer a 20-25 day grace period, but still bill monthly. That means that you’ll be paying interest, even if you pay your bill on time. To be safe, you’ll need to either find a card that has a 30 day grace period, or pay your balance off every 15-20 days. Some of the horrible cards don’t offer a grace period of any length. Avoid those.
Activation fees. Avoid these. Always. There’s no card that charges an activation fee that’s worth getting. An activation fee is an early warning sign that you’ll be paying a $200 annual fee and 30% interest in addition to the $150 activation fee.
Other fees. What else does the card charge for? International transactions? ATM fees? Know what you’ll be paying.
Service. Some cards provide some stellar services, include concierge service, roadside assistance, and free travel services. Some of that can more than balance out the fees they charge. My card adds a year to the warranty of any electronics I buy with it, which is great.
Credit cards aren’t always evil, if you use them responsibly. Just be sure you know what you’re paying and what you’re getting.
What’s in your wallet?