- @fcn Yahoo Pipes into GReader. 50 news sites filtered to max 50 items/day–all on topic. in reply to fcn #
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- It's a sad day when you find out that your 3 year old can access anything in the house. Sadder when she maces herself with hairspray. #
- 5 sets of 15 pushups to start my day. Only 85 to go! Last 5 weren't as good as first 5. #30DayProject #
- What happens to your leftover money in your flex-spending account? http://su.pr/9xDs6q #
- Enter to Win iPod Touch from @DoughRoller http://tinyurl.com/y8rpyns #DRiPodTouch #
- Arrrgh! 3 year old covered in nail polish. And clothes. And carpet. And sister. #
- Crap. 5 sets of 5 pushups. #30dayproject #
- Woo! My son just got his first pin in a wrestling meet! #
- RT @Doughroller: Check out this site that gives your free credit report AND score without asking for a cc# or social… http://bit.ly/bRhlMz #
- Breaking news! Penicillin cures syphilis, not debt. https://liverealnow.net/KIzE #
- Win a $25 Amazon GC via @suburbandollar RT + Fllw to enter #sd1Yrgvwy Rules -> http://bit.ly/sd1Yrgvwy2 #
- This won't be coming to our house. RT @FMFblog: Wow! Check out the new Monopoly: http://tinyurl.com/ygf2say #
- @ChristianPF is giving away a Flip UltraHD Camcorder – RT to enter to win… http://su.pr/2ZvBZL #
Human Interaction
Life may be like a box of chocolates, but it is certainly not a game of Sorry, where one person wins at the expense of all others. It is entirely possible for everyone to win in most voluntary interactions.
For example, if my company gives me a $10,000 raise, it would seem like I win and they lose. I’m getting more money, at the expense of their bottom line, right? Maybe. But what if that raise spurs me on to make an extra $100,000 for the company? That makes it a good investment and a Win/Win scenario.
When I’m dealing with one of my side-business customers or an advertiser, I’m definitely pushing for the Win/Win. Of course I want them to pay me as much as possible, but I also want their repeat business, which won’t happen unless they walk away happy. If I insisted that each of my customers pay the absolute top dollar, I may come out ahead in the short-term, but what about next month or next year? It’s much better for both of us if we can find a happy middle ground.
The four basic forms of interaction are:
1. Win/Lose. This is where I win and you lose. Haha! The problem with a Win/Lose is that the loser isn’t going to come back to play next year. He’s not happy and he’ll probably tell his friends how unhappy he is. This is also the interaction that people are mistakenly assuming when they complain about excessive executive interaction. The CEO is making a million dollars while the folks on the assembly line are stuck with $15 per hour? It’s entirely possible that, if the CEO weren’t doing his job, nobody else would have one. That is, like it or not, Win/Win.
2. Lose/Win. This is where I give up everything, hoping you’ll eventually throw me a bone. It’s a cowardly interaction that won’t work well when dealing with someone playing #1. I’ll keep giving, you’ll keep taking. You go home happy, I go home sore. When it’s done, I won’t do business with you ever again.
3. Lose/Lose. Nobody wins. We fight so hard to get what we want, forcing the other side to give up as much as possible, while they are doing the same. At the end of the day, the hatred is flowing so strong, there’s no possibility of a relationship.
4. Win/Win. Yay! Everybody wins! Everybody’s happy! This will involve some compromise, but hopefully we can reach the happy middle ground where we are both smiling. If I’m looking for a deal that involves you paying me $1000 per month, is it better for me to push to get exactly that, or let myself get talked down to $750? If the $1000 is more than you can afford, so you quit with hard feelings after one month, the ongoing $750 is much, much better for both of us. It is actually in my greedy self-interest to give up that 25% to build our relationship.
Winning doesn’t have to be done at the expense of others. If you do it right, we all win.
The Story of Sammy
As I’ve mentioned, we’re cleaning out my mother-in-law’s house. She was a hoarder who passed away a couple of months ago. As of yesterday, we’ve filled two 30-yard dumpsters. For perspective, that’s big enough to park our F150.
I’m not here to talk about that, or the 20 year old can of green beans that burst and ran down my leg on Saturday.
Last month, we put a recliner out on the curb with a free sign. A few minutes later, a couple of guys stopped by and grabbed it.
Last week, one of the guys–I’ll call him Sammy–stopped by and left a note on the windshield of one of our inherited cars, asking about buying it.
Long story short, we sold him two cars. One hadn’t been run in a year or two, and one had been parked for almost 20 years. We signed this titles and let him take the cars while he was still $50 short of the purchase price. This isn’t a story about the cars.
It’s a story about Sammy.
Sammy doesn’t have a lot of money. He’s living off of a monthly check from an old injury, and his fiancee works part-time. They’re living in Section 8 housing, and consistently have more month than money. When he was younger, he made some decisions that make some forms of employment difficult now.
On Friday, Sammy stopped by. He was supposed to give us $50, but said that getting one of the cars running had cost more than expected, and it still had a problem that was keeping it from being safe on the road. He asked about an extension.
No problem.
Then, he looked around my mother-in-law’s overgrown yard and asked if he could help. After we negotiated the price, he asked if he could a) borrow our tools for the work, and b) get a ride Saturday morning.
I am a nice guy.
Saturday, I was planning to pick him up, then drive downtown to pick up a friend who has been living at the Salvation Army since moving to the area. His friend was so excited about the work, he hopped on a bus at 6am and got to Sammy’s house.
When I got there, Sammy also had a teenager he was mentoring. He told me that his dream was to start a lawn-care business with his friend, so they can put kids to work and help them turn into productive citizens. Idle, broke, and bored teenagers are a recipe for disaster. Teenagers who grow into men not believing they have a chance to change their future are worse.
I dropped them off and went to have a chat with my wife.
We’re far from rich but, at the moment, we are fairly flush. We’ve found some cash, and a there is a bit of life insurance money. Most of that will be going into remodeling the house, but we have a bit extra. If we can take a few hundred dollars, and help launch Sammy into a business that will help him, his family, and a circle of kids with few prospects, I think it’s the right thing to do.
When I told Sammy what we were considering, he started to break down. It was a truly emotional experience for him to know that somebody was willing to take a chance on him.
I told him to put together plan. I want to know what it would take for him to get started. Hopefully, he’s serious enough to do that. I’d like to help.
What’s in it for me?
Lately my son has been in full-on greed mode. It seems like every time I talk to him he asks me to give him something buy him something, do something.
“Dad, can you buy me a Yu-Gi-Oh card?”
“Dad, can you buy me a videogame?”
“Dad, can I get this?”
“Dad, can I get that?”
That is really kind of obnoxious. My response has turned into “What’s in it for me?”
Really, he’s constantly asking for stuff and he’s trying to provide no value back. What kind of lesson would I be teaching him by handing him everything he’s asking for? So, I’ve decided to make him come up with a value proposition: “What’s in it for me?”
Now, when he asks me to buy him a video game, I ask what’s in it for me.
Sometimes, he comes back with “Well nothing, you just love me.” That is garbage. I’m not going to buy him stuff just as because I love him and teach them that you can buy someone’s affection or that you should be paying for someone’s affection.
Other times he comes back with “If you buy me video game, I will clean all of the poop out of the backyard.” (We have a dog. I’m not messy.) That seems like a much better deal.
Other times, he reminds me that I owe him back-allowance. That one’s a given. If I owe him more than whatever he is asking for, he’s going to get it.
Sometimes, he’ll say that he willing to do a bunch of extra chores or something, but he is learning that he needs to trade value for value instead of assuming that every whim he’s got is going to be indulged by me just because I’m his parent and I’ve been generous in the past.
Monica Wright Gets Engaged: How Much Ring is Too Much?
It’s love in the land of basketball. If you are a true basketball fan, then you have already heard of the recent engagement of NBA star Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder and the WNBA star Monica Wright of the Minnesota Lynx. These star basketball professionals have known each other for years, according to recent press reports. The newly-engaged couple has not decided on a wedding date yet, but everyone who is in the world of celebrity basketball knows that the Durant-Wright wedding is going to be one of the top 2014 weddings.
Mums the word on a lot of the details, and that may be because Durant and Wright are trying to adjust to a time of engagement and are trying to let the excitement of this season soak in a little before going full force into wedding planning. Certainly, their busy game and workout schedules are going to keep them busy and make it difficult to plan a wedding. An engagement period should be a time of relaxing with your loved one and celebrating with family and friends through engagement parties. Durant and Wright are sure to have an all-star line up at both their nuptial celebration parties and their actual wedding, but before they get to the big plans, can we please talk about that ring on her finger?
No one has written about Monica Wright’s ring, and there are few details about how large it is. But from photos, it looks huge. Monica Wright has gorgeous hands, and that massive diamond looks great on her slender basketball woman hands. However, we have to ask celebrities: How much ring really is way too much? Celebrities have money to spend, but it a culture that promotes materialism while most of the country struggles to pay for food and to just get by, can’t big-time stars like Durant and Wright make the decision to make a different kind of statement. Cannot there be a celebrity out there who chooses a small diamond, or better yet, a simple band for an engagement ring? Cannot celebrities put there money into projects and people who really need that money? Does every engagement ring have to be dripping with expensive diamonds?
No one is doubting that Monica Wright is beautiful and talented. No one is doubting that Kevin Durant and Monica Wright together can use their money to help those in need. But they also can make a difficult decision to have a different kind of celebrity wedding and engagement ring. I personally would like to see positive role models like Kevin Durant and Monica Wright take a stand for those who are in need through the unconventional way they approach their upcoming nuptials. Who says that a beautiful wedding and engagement ring has to be worth millions of dollars? It is time for celebrities to think through these issues before they start writing endless checks for extravagant affairs. Congrats to the couple!
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Corporate Bankruptcy Hurts Employee’s Most
This is a guest post from Hunter Montgomery. He writes for Financially Consumed on every-day personal finance issues. He is married to a Navy meteorologist, proud father of 3, a mad cyclist, and recently graduated with a Master’s degree in Family Financial Planning. Read his blog at financiallyconsumed.com.
Bankruptcy has evolved from something that people and businesses were deeply ashamed of a few decades ago, to a seemingly acceptable path to restructuring; towards a more sustainable future. Bankruptcy is so common in corporate America that it is referred to by some as an acceptable and necessary business tool.
This bothers me on a number of levels, but mainly because corporate bankruptcies hurt the humble employee the most. The laws are supposedly designed to help the company stay in business, and continue to provide jobs. But at what cost to those employees?
When a company declares bankruptcy, they are essentially admitting to the world that they failed to compete. Their business model was flawed, they were poorly managed, and they simply did not organize their resources appropriately to meet their consumer needs.
Given this failure, it shocks me, that bankruptcy laws are designed to allow management to get together with their bankers. They essentially protect each other. Management is obsessed with holding on to power. The bankers are obsessed with avoiding a loss.
The bankruptcy produces a document called first-day-orders. This is a blueprint for guiding the organization towards future prosperity. But this is essentially drafted by the existing company management, and their bankers. Do you see any conflict of interest emerging here?
Bankers are given super-priority claims to the money they have loaned the company. Even before employee pension fund obligations. This is absurd. Surely if they loaned money to an enterprise that failed, they deserve to lose their money.
Management generally rewards itself with large bonuses, after declaring failure, paying off their bankers, shafting the employees, and finally re-emerging with a vastly smaller company. This is ridiculous.
The humble employee pays the highest price. Assuming there is even a job to return to after restructuring they have likely given up pay, working conditions, healthcare benefits, and pension benefits.
This is exactly what happened at United Airlines in 2002 after they filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protections. The CEO received bonuses, and was entitled to the full retirement package. The banker’s enjoyed super-priority claims over company assets to cover their loans. Meanwhile, the employees lost wages, working conditions, healthcare benefits, and a 30% reduction in pension benefits.
An adjustment like this would force a serious re-evaluation of retirement plans. For most people, it would require additional years in the workforce before retirement could even be considered a real possibility.
Employees of General Motors, which recently went through bankruptcy proceedings, also had to give up significant healthcare benefits, and life insurance benefits. Entering bankruptcy, it was the objective to reduce retiree obligations by two-thirds. That’s a massive cut.
The warning to all of us here is that we must do everything possible not to fall victim to corporate restructuring. Save all you can, outside of your expected pension plan, because you never know when poor management, or a terrible economy, will force your employer to file bankruptcy. Always plan for the worst possible outcome.
It’s a competitive world and it’s quite possible that the traditional American system of benefits is uncompetitive, and unsustainable in the global market place. The tragedy of adjusting to a more sustainable system is that the employee suffers the most.
