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- RT @ScottATaylor: Some of the United States’ most surprising statistics http://ff.im/-cPzMD #
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- @LenPenzo @SusanTiner I couldn’t help it. That kicked over the giggle box. in reply to LenPenzo #
- RT @copyblogger: You’ll never get there, because “there” keeps moving. Appreciate where you’re at, right now. #
- Why am I expected to answer the phone, strictly because it’s ringing? #
- RT: @WellHeeledBlog: Carnival of Personal Finance #235: Cinderella Edition http://bit.ly/7p4GNe #
- 10 Things to do on a Cheap Vacation. https://liverealnow.net/aOEW #
- RT this for chance to win $250 @WiseBread http://bit.ly/4t0sDu #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-19
The Benefits of Ignorance
For years, we had a sweet deal with day care. We had three kids and we were the only family with three kids, so we got a bulk discount that essentially made my oldest free. Compared to the regular price, I think we were paying about ten dollars a week for him to be in daycare, which was great, since he was only there before and after school.
Then he aged out of daycare, and we lost our sweet, sweet deal.
Then the prices went up across the board.
We lost the sweet deal, and then the price went up and our youngest hit the next age bracket.
On the price sheet, the age brackets went from birth to 1, from 1 to 2, and from 2 to kindergarten. I made the mistake of interpreting that to mean that her fee would change when Baby Brat turned three, not when she turned two. I’ve been making that mistake since December when the price went up.
A few weeks ago, I dropped off the kids and forgot to pay for the week, so my wife paid when she picked up the girls. When my wife picked up the girls, she noticed that we hadn’t paid. She had no idea how much we needed to pay because she has never been the one that’s been responsible for making the payments.
Our provider added up the cost and found it was $15 per week less than we’d been paying.
When I balanced the checkbook the following weekend, I noticed that she paid less than our normal rate. We called daycare and now we’re making up for the last 17 weeks of overpayments by paying less each week. We’re paying about $65 less per week. When we’re caught up, we’ll be paying $60-75 less per month, depending on the month.
All due to sweet, sweet ignorance. Ignorance really can be bliss. Sometimes when you know what’s going on, you just assume that you’re making the right decision and you’re afraid to ask questions for fear of looking stupid. If you don’t know, and there’s nothing you should have known, and it’s possible to save quite a bit of money by just acknowledging the fact that you don’t know.
Also, lesson learned: If you’re not sure, ask! Don’t assume when there’s a chance your assumption could be costing you money.
Horseback Riding Lessons
For the past couple of years, my daughters have been riding in horse shows with a local saddle club. We’ve been lucky in that my wife’s cousin has let us borrow her horse for the shows, so costs have been minimal.
Unfortunately, that horse isn’t available this year. We knew that a few months ago, so the plan was to take a year off from the shows and focus on lessons, to get the girls some real skills. We found a great instructor at a stable about 30 miles from our house. Since we live less than two miles from the border of the biggest city in the state, that’s a comparatively short drive.
We pay her $200 per month for 1 lesson per week for both girls. They each get 30-45 minutes on the horse during each lesson.
Now that show season has started, the plan seems to have changed. The girls will be riding a different borrowed pony tomorrow. The shows cost about $50 for registration, lunch, and gas. Our club has 1 show per month, but my wife has assured me they’ll only be hitting three shows this season and limiting the number of events to keep the cost down.
The direct costs aren’t too bad, but there’s a problem with keeping-up-with-the-Joneses accessorizing. Vests and boots and helmets and belts and shirts, oh my.
I’d guess our costs for the summer will be $300 per month.
One thing we’ve been considering is buying a pony. We can get an older pony for around $500-1000. Older is good because they are calmer and slower. Boarding the thing will cost another $200 per month. We’ve been slowly accumulating the stuff to own a horse, so I’m guessing the “OMG, he let me buy a horse, now I need X” shopping bill will come to around $1500, but I’ll figure $2000 to be safe. We already have a trailer, a saddle, blankets, buddy-straps, combs, brushes, buckets, rakes, shovels, and I-bought-this-but-I-will-just-put-it-in-the-pile-of-horse-stuff-so-Jason-will-never-notice stuff. We’re certainly close to being ready to buy.
(FYI: If you’re starting from scratch, don’t think you’re going to get into horse ownership for less than $10,000 the first year, and that’s being a very efficient price-shopper.)
So we’re looking at $5400 for a horse, gear, and boarding the first year. If we cancel the lessons, by spring we’d have $2000 of that saved and most of the rest can be bought over time.
On the other hand, if we go that route, we’ll never save enough to buy the hobby farm we’re looking for.
Decisions, decisions. I should just buy a new motorcycle. Within a year, I win financially.
The Value of Hiding Money From Your Spouse
I have a confession, but it’s probably not going to be a big shocker if you read the title of this post.
I hide money from my wife.
Some of you just started screaming at your monitor that I’m a horrible person.
That’s cool.
You’re wrong, but the fact that I got that reaction out of you makes me smile.
Ok, I might be a little bit horrible, but not because I hide money.
My wife has an admitted shopping problem. If she thinks we’re broke, she shops less. That’s a win and allows me to save up for our long-term goals and provide for our financial security.
I don’t lie about it. If she asks how we’re doing, I tell her. At least in general terms.
But I didn’t tell her about my annual bonus, until we had a bunch of car repairs come up that would have swamped our emergency fund.
I also haven’t told her about the cash I’ve been stockpiling.
A couple of years ago, the power went out here for four days. It wasn’t just our house, it was 75% of everything within 5 miles of our house.
When the power came on in some places after a day or two, the phone lines were still down, which meant gas stations couldn’t process credit cards.
Quick, look in your wallet and tell me how much cash you have on you….
Most people live on their credit or debit cards.
Could you buy food or water if your plastic was gone?
I could that week, but not for long, so I started taking the cash payments from my side hustle and putting it aside. I’d come home, give my wife a little cash, keep a little cash for myself, and put at least 80% of it away. I absolutely refuse to touch that money for anything.
Part of the “set it aside and forget about” means not revealing its existence. It would be too easy to dip into it to pay the pizza guy or when we go to Rennfest.
So I don’t talk about, and it gets to sit all by itself in the safe, comfy and warm. It’s my security blanket, and nobody gets to touch my binky.
Hippy Month – September’s 30 Day Project
- Image via Wikipedia
My 30 Day Project for August was…forgotten. I didn’t notice August roll in, and when that fact finally registered, I had already blown the project. With that, and our planned vacation, I decided to take the month off. Yes, I am a slacker.
So, now that it is September, I’m getting back on track. This month, we are going used. For the next 30 days, we are buying nothing new.
The Ground Rules
1. We aren’t buying anything new. No retail purchases. If we need to buy something, it will be used.
2. Food is an exception. Used bananas are gross in too many ways.
3. Consumable hygiene products are an exception. We are not recycling shampoo or deodorant. We are also not willing to spend the month smelling like hippies.
4. My wife is not a loophole. Her shopping counts as my shopping, so this is something we have to do together.
4b. Neither is her mother’s credit card. We are doing this for real.
There is a group called The Compact that started this movement. They went for an entire year. They are hippies. Ick.
I am not a hippy! This did, however, make for a good lesson in how to be environmentally friendly.
My main goal for Hippy Month is to break our consumer addiction. We need to get used to “making do” or doing without. We also need to make a habit out of looking for used and cheaper options, first.
Our secondary goals are to save money and stop accumulation so much danged stuff.
It won’t be easy. Goodwill is far less convenient than Target. It’s so simple to run into a store to replace something that’s broken instead of fixing it or finding a used alternative.
These projects wouldn’t be fun if they were easy.
Anyone care to join me?
Fighting Fair
This was a guest post on another site early last year.
Everyone, at times, has disagreements. How boring would life be if everyone agreed all of the time? How you handle those disagreements may mean disaster.
This is particularly true when you are arguing with your spouse. You spend most non-working moments with this one person, this wonderful, loving, infuriating person. Your emotions will naturally run high while discussing the things you care most about with the person you care most about. Arguments are not only natural, but inevitable.
How do you have an argument with someone you love without lasting resentment?
You have to argue fairly. There are a few principles to remember during an argument.
- When your partner is talking, your job is to listen with all of your energy. You are not interrupting. Your are not planning your rebuttal while waiting for your turn to talk. Your are listening, nothing else. If you don’t listen, you can’t understand. If you don’t understand, you can’t find a resolution.
- Remember that your partner cares. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t feel so strongly about the argument. This isn’t a war, just an argument. She still wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Keeping this in mind will change the entire tone of the argument into a positive interaction. You will still disagree, but you will be looking for a solution together, instead of finding a “win” at any cost.
- Search for the best intent. Remember #2? There is an incredibly good chance that, if there are two ways to interpret something your partner has said–a good way and a bad way–your partner probably meant the good way. Even if you are wrong, it is far better to err on the side of resolution than the side of antagonism.
- When your partner has finished speaking, it’s still not your turn to argue. Your job now is to repeat your understanding of the issue, without worrying about problem-solving. Before you can refute the argument–or even establish your disagreement–you have to know that you understand her position and she has to know that you do. Without understanding, there can be no path to resolution that doesn’t cause resentment. If you have too much resentment, you won’t have a marriage.
After all of this, it will finally be your turn to make your point. Hopefully, your partner will be following the same rules so you can solve your problems together, without learning to hate each other.
Arguments in your marriage aren’t–or shouldn’t be–intended to draw blood. Fights happen. If your goal is to win at any cost, you will both lose, possibly everything.
