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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Where the hell have I been?

Finance

For the last year or so, I haven’t been writing much, which feels weird. I used to write three timer per week. I’d write about saving money, investing, frugality, sometimes, relationships and parenting.

But that stopped. Why?

When I started this site, I was about $110,000 in debt, and just starting my journey out of it. A few months before, I was looking into bankruptcy, because I didn’t know how to get out of debt.

For years, the ways I saved money, cut corners, and earned extra money was fodder for this site. Everything I did was about saving money, earning money, and paying off debt.

Now? I’m about 2 months away from being completely debt-free. I paid my mortgage off last month, and have about $10,000 in credit card debt at the moment. I know, I paid that off backwards, but there are reasons. Reasons I’ll share another time.

4 years ago, I was essentially working 4 jobs. My day job, my gun training business, my internet marketing business, and my websites(including this one). I was working all of the time. It was necessary, but it’s a path to burnout. Then, I changed jobs a couple of times, nearly doubling my day job’s pay. My business partner got promoted out of a position that generated leads for one of our businesses, then had an accident that the other shared business on hold for a while.

Suddenly, I had free time and enough money coming in that I didn’t need to work all of the time. It was a crazy place to be after spending more than a decade pretending to be a workaholic just to keep my head above water. (Here’s a secret: I’m incredibly lazy. I’m just the busiest lazy man I know.) So I started pursuing hobbies.

Linda and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons and are nearly to the point that competing is a real possibility.

I cleaned out my garage and assembled a decent wood shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do roughly forever.

I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my teenage son.

I’ve been playing games with my kids, dating my wife, and simply enjoying my life.

This site?

Through all of that, I haven’t known what to write about.

“Dear audience, this month, I paid my bills, didn’t go on vacation, and bought a drill press.”

“Dear audience, my debt went down another $500 this month.”

“Dear audience, I didn’t buy a car I can’t afford this month. Again.”

Those aren’t good articles. Financially–while paying off debt is disturbingly exciting–my life is very repetitive. That’s the hardest part about paying off a lot of debt. It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s boring. My wins have been spaced out by several years lately, and I haven’t been creatively frugal. Screw frugal. If you can afford some conveniences and luxuries, frugal sucks.

Anything new happening in my world that would apply to this site would make it read like an accountant’s ledger book. $100,000 minus $1500 plus $10,000 minus $300, ad nauseum.

Instead of inflicting boring accountancy on you, I’ve been absent.

What next? Who knows. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing here. I’ve started writing a novel.

What would you like to see here?

Hayden Panettiere Gets Engaged – Crazy Wedding or Not?

Gossip

Hayden Panettiere has formally announced her engagement! The starlet will be marrying Vladimir Klitschko, who is a world renowned boxer that has won an Olympic gold medal. The unexpected public revelation has sparked rumor trails regarding glitzy wedding plans. While no date has been set, and nothing has been confirmed, there is widespread speculation that the event is going to be glamorously over-the-top.

A decadent gala may very well be in the planning stages. The “Nashville” actress, age 24, is one of America’s most idolized entertainers. She appeared on “Live with Kelly & Michael” to declare her commitment. During the show, she flaunted an extravagantly oversized engagement ring. This fancy display could be the precursor to an expensively ostentatious wedding.

Although Panettiere’s fiance is 13 years older than her, it is the first marriage for both partners. This may instill extra incentive for the couple to make their officiation an extremely flashy occasion. Because Klitschko is a famous Ukrainian athlete, he will also be anticipating a magnificently choreographed wedding. Both individuals could invest fortunes in perfecting their walk down the aisle together.

Of course, one of the biggest decisions that Panettiere faces is the selection of her gown. All eyes will be on the fabric that she chooses for this special day. If they go through with a public wedding, the dress will be permanently immortalized in global media. She is going to want to show off flawless class, glimmering austerity and sizzling sultriness. Fashion critics are eagerly anticipating her selection. The high-end designer that she picks will receive a tremendous boost in popularity, especially if she pulls off a beautiful presentation.

A crazy wedding would be completely in character for the young television star. Her most known role was a bubbly cheerleader on the long-running series, “Heroes.” With vivacious charm, she became a sex symbol across the country. Explosiveness is simply a part of her personality, so a bombastic celebration is to be expected. Furthermore, Ukrainian wedding parties have a tendency to be more raucous than American traditions. If they follow any of the groom’s cultural practices, the event could become out of control.

The massive ring on Panettiere’s finger indicates no desire for privacy regarding this affair. In fact, it was an invitation for the mainstream media to cover the entire ordeal. This hints that the couple might be planning a gigantic wedding event. They can easily afford it, and the public celebrations will rapidly enhance the star’s critical acclaim.

In contrast, a private exchange of vows would disappoint her legions of fans. Furthermore, paparazzi could still infiltrate the wedding to snap pictures. To avoid any uninvited intrusions, the couple should be open to media coverage during their nupital arrangements. This will let them control the event, and allow them to recoup some of the expenses through lucrative network contracts. Regardless of how they conduct the wedding, it is certain that the whole world will be diligently watching with admiration, and perhaps a slight tinge of jealousy.

5 Reasons to Quit Saving and Start Living

Finance, Life

: Image by owaief89 via Flickr

Life is all about trade-offs. You trade your time for a paycheck. Your trade your paycheck for food, rent, and security. Don’t get so obsessed with saving and security that you forget to live your life. There are many good reasons to put your savings on hold in order to really live. Here are five of them:

1. You have an adequate emergency fund. You will never hear me advise against an emergency fund. If you don’t have one, stop reading this and get one. Go. Without an emergency fund, your budget is a financial crisis waiting to happen. With an emergency fund, you can weather life’s speed-bumps without watching them become total train-wrecks.

2. Your retirement is on autopilot. You are not allowed to stop saving and investing for retirement. Ever. Assuming you have a traditionally scheduled career that involves you working until you hit 65 and deferring a huge chunk of living until then, your income will cease when you retire. Do you know how long you will live? Do you want to spend your retirement broke and bored? Are you relying on the responsible financial management of the federal government to make sure you will still get your Social Security? Invest in your retirement and get this investment on autopilot so you can stop worrying about it.

3. Your income is set. I don’t believe in the fairy tale of a company being loyal to its employees. The aren’t. However, if you have a stable-ish job, an in-demand career, and some side-income coming from alternate sources, your emergency fund can be enough to carry you through the low times. That’s what it’s there for.

4. You have dreams. If you’ve always wanted to travel the world, follow a band on your, volunteer extensively, or anything else, it’s time to do it. Don’t postpone your passion.

5. Deathbed regrets suck. Very few people lie on their deathbed lamenting the things they did. Regrets tend to be focused on opportunities missed, skipped, or indefinitely postponed. Do the things that are important to you before it’s too late to do them. Don’t abandon your future in favor of current pleasures, but don’t forget to live, now.

Do you have any other reasons to stop saving?

Money Problems: Day 11 – Extended Warranties

Finance

PACCAR Parts-Extended Warranty — Image by TruckPR via Flickr

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, Day 11, we’re going to talk about extended warranties.

You’ve been there. You walk into a big box electronics store to buy a $10 cable for your DVD player and the boy in blue at the register tries to pressure you into spending $4 on an extended warranty in case the cable dies due to too much adult video…or something.

The same nameless blue and yellow store is currently selling a laptop for $349 with a 2 year extended warranty for $89. The sales pitch usually goes something along the line of “These things have a tendency to break. You need a warranty to make it worth purchasing.” Thanks, jerk. You just sent me to a competitor since your sales pitch involves telling me you’re selling garbage.

Seriously, getting an extended warranty on electronics is almost always a bad deal. Yes, almost 30% of laptops fail within three years. Most of those fail in the 3rd year. What’s a 2 year warranty going to do for you then? New laptops generally come with a 1 year warranty from the factory. That leaves you volunteering for a 25% markup in exchange for protecting your device for a year that is not statistically likely to include a laptop failure.

A much better idea is to create a warranty/repair fund. When you buy something and have a warranty offered, turn it down and put that money in a special savings account. That money will get set aside to repair your stuff when it breaks. If you do that with everything you buy, you’ll soon have a fund that can pay for most repairs, without stressing your budget. I’ve got $25 going into my repair fund every month, so I’ll never have to worry about an extended warranty again.

It’s called a self-warranty.

But what about a car warranty you ask?

This is where I differ from most people. I’m a fan of extended warranties on cars, with 2 caveats.

1. Use it. If you car has started shaking, knocking, or almost anything else, bring it in. You have a warranty, so get your dang car fixed. When you’re getting close to the end of your warranty, make up an excuse and get that car into the dealer. “My car’s making an intermittent knocking sound. Can you fix it? While you’re at it, please do your 90,000 point inspection and fix whatever you find.” There’s no reason that you can’t get your car running like new when it kicks over the 70,000 mile mark.

2. Negotiate it. The charge you see is typically twice the dealer’s cost. Let them make some profit, since that’s what makes the world go round, but don’t let them take advantage of you. If they offer you a warranty for $2000, counter with $1200.

If you can get a decent price and are willing to make sure you use the auto warranty, get it.

How do you feel about extended warranties? Please leave a comment below and let me know.

20 Lazy Ways to Save Money

Finance

: Image by Paul Vivier via Flickr

Investopedia ran a post on 20 lazy ways to save money. I thought it was worth sharing my take on the post.

1. Schedule automatic payments. I do this obsessively. I run all of my regular payments through my bank’s online bill-pay. I think there are 2 bills that get paid manually; 1 is a quarterly payment, the other is due annually.

2. Eat your groceries. According to the post, Americans–on average–throw away 15% of the groceries they buy. I totally believe that. We don’t throw away that much, but it’s still too much. It tends to be the fresh vegetables, which we eat as side dishes instead of the main course. We need to switch that mindset, both to use the vegetable efficiently and to eat healthier.

3. Bundle services. I refuse. I hate the idea of having a single point of failure for multiple systems. If the power goes out, I lose my cable, but I keep the phone. If, for some reason, I can’t pay my phone bill, I don’t lose my internet connection. I like keeping these things separated.

4. Pay off credit card. Hardly a lazy process, but otherwise…duh!

5. Mark your calendar. I use my Google Calendar as obsessively as I use automatic payments. I put in reminders, grocery lists, or anything else I need to know at a specific time.

6. File your taxes on time. I just helped a friend dig out of this mess. I pay as soon as all of my paperwork is delivered. The IRS doesn’t give up and they have leverage, including garnishment and even jail.

7. Roll it over. When you change jobs, take your 401k with you. Don’t leave it behind like a series of red-headed stepchildren. It’s too easy to lose track of the accounts. Don’t cash it out! I made that mistake once and lost far too much to taxes. A rollover doesn’t count against your 401k contribution limits.

8. Switch credit cards. If you can a good balance transfer offer that’s followed by a better interest rate than you currently have, use it. But don’t forget to pay attention to the transfer fees. Do the math. If it costs you $500 to transfer the money, how much interest do you have to save to make it worthwhile?

9. Use your privileges. If you have a AAA membership, use it. It gives you a discount on hotels, oil changes, car rentals, and more. Read the paperwork. Former military gets a ton of random discounts, too. Ask.

10. Rent instead of buy. Renting can save you money over buying, if it’s something you’ll only use once, but borrowing is free.

11. Buy instead of rent. Rent-a-center is a ripoff, but they can’t even legally operate here. If you’re going to use something regularly, buy it.

12. Ask. I love to call up every company I give money to and ask if there’s a way I can give them less. Outside of chain stores and restaurants I almost always ask for a lower price.

13. Just say no. Extended warranties are generally a waste of money. However, if I can’t afford to replace the item, I do get the warranty. On my car, I brought it in for a full inspection and repair a few weeks before the warranty ran out and made all of that money back. We are slowly building a warranty fund to replace the need for any future extended warranties.

14. Have the awkward conversation. We tried giving gift-giving the axe, but nobody enjoyed that. Now, we cap the gifts at $20 and do a round-robin type of gift. $40 for gifts keeps 10 adults happy.

15. Eat at home. Generally, I can cook almost anything better at home, but I really do enjoy eating out and trying new restaurants. We just keep it from being a regular expense.

16. Balance your checkbook. What a waste of time! With automatic payments and cash for all of the discretionary budget items, I balance the checkbook once a month.

17. Stick with your bank. Either use your own bank’s ATM network, or use a bank that refunds ATM fees. I only take out cash on the first of the month, for the entire month and I do that with a teller, so this is never an issue for us.

18. Use your TV. Cable movie packages instead of a video membership? Really? That’s a horrible idea.

19. Quit those bad habits. I quite smoking, saving $200 a month. I don’t drink much and I’m working on fixing my eating habits. Vices are fun, and this is certainly not a fun way to save money.

20. Forget the pet. There is no way this would fly at my house. we have 5 cats, 2 gerbils, and a dog. Our renter has 2 pythons. We’re a flippin’ zoo and honestly, mess and cost aside, we all like it that way.

How do you stand on these ideas?

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