- @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
- I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
- RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
- TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
- Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
- RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
- First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #
What’s in it for me?
Lately my son has been in full-on greed mode. It seems like every time I talk to him he asks me to give him something buy him something, do something.
“Dad, can you buy me a Yu-Gi-Oh card?”
“Dad, can you buy me a videogame?”
“Dad, can I get this?”
“Dad, can I get that?”
That is really kind of obnoxious. My response has turned into “What’s in it for me?”
Really, he’s constantly asking for stuff and he’s trying to provide no value back. What kind of lesson would I be teaching him by handing him everything he’s asking for? So, I’ve decided to make him come up with a value proposition: “What’s in it for me?”
Now, when he asks me to buy him a video game, I ask what’s in it for me.
Sometimes, he comes back with “Well nothing, you just love me.” That is garbage. I’m not going to buy him stuff just as because I love him and teach them that you can buy someone’s affection or that you should be paying for someone’s affection.
Other times he comes back with “If you buy me video game, I will clean all of the poop out of the backyard.” (We have a dog. I’m not messy.) That seems like a much better deal.
Other times, he reminds me that I owe him back-allowance. That one’s a given. If I owe him more than whatever he is asking for, he’s going to get it.
Sometimes, he’ll say that he willing to do a bunch of extra chores or something, but he is learning that he needs to trade value for value instead of assuming that every whim he’s got is going to be indulged by me just because I’m his parent and I’ve been generous in the past.
Changing Our Situation
In September 2005, I bought my car, a Chrysler Pacifica. I got it on a loan. Two months later–seven years ago this month–I was told I’d be laid off at the end of the year.
Two weeks ago, we bought a Chevy Tahoe with a loan. Last Monday, my wife was permanently laid off after 12 years with her company. She was told that, if her department opened back up, she’d be welcome to reapply for her job and start as a new employee.
Car loans mean layoffs at my house.
Last Tuesday, I got a formal offer for a new job. I accepted.
I am now a full month away from knowing exactly what my semi-monthly paychecks will be. My wife is getting her final paycheck later this week, which will include a week of severance pay.
For the first time in a number of years, I don’t know what my income looks like. I don’t have a clear long-term picture or a good short-term picture.
I’m not worried.
For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck-to-paycheck. Having a couple of pay periods act wonky isn’t going to hurt. Yes, we are going to cut back, but we can manage for a few months without worry. We aren’t going to sweat over putting food on the table.
That is an incredible feeling.
Keep Your Friends Out of Debt
- Image via Wikipedia
If you’re like me, you get a bit evangelical about getting out of debt. I try to convert spendthrifts and irritate my fellow debtors. I’m probably pretty annoying at times. What I’ve learned–or at least pretend to have learned–is the direct approach rarely works. Hitting someone over the head with a brick won’t convince them of anything, even if it’s a very frugal brick. Try it sometime. You may convince them to buy a bigger brick to return the favor, but you won’t convince them to save money.
What can you do? Your friends want to spend money they don’t have and worse, they want you to come with to spend money you either don’t have or don’t want to spend on bad music and overpriced beer. Suggest less expensive activities.
If your friends want to catch a movie, suggest a matinee or hitting redbox for a night in. It may even be worth investing in a projector and screen if movie night becomes a habit. My couch is certainly more comfortable than the theater seats and my soda is cheaper.
When you are invited to dinner, suggest a potluck or have a barbecue. It’s almost always cheaper to eat in, and cooking together can be a wonderful social activity. If that’s not practical, use coupons. Restaurant.com has some amazing deals, but don’t use them without an coupon. Their default price is a $25 gift certificate for $10. With a coupon (currently DAD), you can get that same certificate for $3. That usually means a minimum tab of $35 and mandatory tip of 18%, but it’s still a good savings. Your $35 meal will cost $19.30 when all is said and done.
[ad name=”inlineleft”]Don’t compete for the coolest gadgets. “I just got an iPod for $300″ should be countered with a receipt for a $20 mp3 player, not an ad for an iPad. Race to zero, not zeros.
Don’t be ashamed of your frugality. “I they are laughing you don’t need ’em, cuz they’re not good friends.” My habits aren’t secret. If I say something isn’t in the budget, my friends know I won’t be doing it. It’s not up for debate.
Above all, I try to be proactive. I try to suggest cheaper alternatives before the expensive options are on the table. Having a beer on my deck and watching a movie in my living room is so much cheaper than drinks at a club before a concert.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Payday Loans Suck
- Image by vonglee via Flickr
A few weeks ago, I was approached about placing ads on this site. I was excited when I read the email. It came from a real domain, didn’t involve any Nigerian princes or wire transfers for overpayments.
Over the course of the email conversation, it was determined that, for a fee, I would place some links in a few archived posts. It would just be links to improve search engine ranking, without being an eyesore for my current readers. I don’t have a problem with that. The intrusiveness is similar to Chitika ads, which are only visible to search traffic. It’s a nice way to advertise: monetization without alienation.
Then I saw the links. I was being offered money to promote payday loans.
Payday loans offer to loan you–for example–$100 for the low(snort) price of just $25. That’s not bad. Only 25%. I know some credit cards that aren’t that good. The catch is that the loan is due in full in 2 weeks. That gives it an APR(Annual Percentage Rate) of 650%. That’s not so good.
When you payback the loan, your paycheck is pre-spent by whatever you borrowed, plus the pound of flesh fee and you are that much more likely to need their services again, digging you even deeper.
It’s not like the target demographic is terribly affluent. These are people who not only can’t make ends meet, but also can’t acquire traditional credit. They are left paying this insulting fee.
I consider payday lending companies to be immoral, unethical and generally, more than a bit dishonest. These are the people who give decent, hardworking capitalists a bad name. I’d rather go to a mob loan shark. He’s at least honest about what he is.
They got shot down.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy making money. I also enjoy the money I make here.
But not at the expense of my soul or my integrity.
Experiences v. Stuff
- Image by hunterseakerhk via Flickr
On Friday, I went to see Evil Dead: The Musical with some friends. The play obviously isn’t a good match for everyone, but we are all horror movie fans, I’m a Bruce Campbell fan, and all of us had seen and enjoyed at least Army of Darkness. It was a good fit for us.
The play, followed by a late dinner and drinks with people I care about, was easily the most money my wife and I have spent on a night out in years. That’s including an overnight trip for my cousin’s wedding.
Now, several days later, I keep thinking about that night, but not with regret about the price. I keep thinking about the fun I had with my wife and some of our closest friends. We saw a great play that had us in stitches. We had a few hours of good conversation. We had a good time. I would happily do it all over again. In fact, I would happily reorganize our budget to make something similar happen every month.
I don’t remember the last time I spent 3 or 4 days happily thinking about something I bought.
I look around my house at the years of accumulated crap we own and I see a big rock tied around my neck. Even after a major purge this spring, we’ve got more stuff than we can effectively store, let alone use. When something new comes in the house, we spend days discussing whether we really need it or if it should get returned. When we plan a big purchase, we debate it, sometimes for weeks.
Getting stuff is all about stress.
My wife and I are both familiar with the addictive endorphin rush that comes with some forms of shopping. I wish the rational recognition of a shopping addiction was enough to make it go away. Buying stuff makes us feel good for a few minutes, while high-quality experiences make us feel good for days or weeks, and gives us things to talk about for years to come.
It’s really not a fair competition between experiences and stuff. Experiences are the hands-down winner for where we should be spending our money.
Why then, does stuff always seem to come out ahead when it comes to where our money actually goes?
