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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Budget Lesson, Part 2

Finance

Today, I am continuing the detailed examination of my budget. Please see part one to catch up.

This time, I’m going to look at my monthly bills. These are predictable and recurring expenses, though not all of them are entirely out-going.

Let’s dig in: [Read more…] about Budget Lesson, Part 2

Perez Hilton: The Cost of Living in New York City

Gossip

Ahhh, New York City. The Mecca of all that is glamorous, rich, luxurious and exciting. To some, the good life. So, you’re ready to pack your bags and head for the big city? Slow down there, big dreamer. The cost of

EVERYTHING in the city is higher than the national average, meaning your 70K per year needs to be 166K in New York City to keep your current lifestyle. Let’s talk about the basics here: lodging, food and entertainment:

Apartments in New York City are insanely high. Like, find a roommate and hang a curtain down the center of your one bedroom to make two bedrooms high. The average Manhattan apartment costs $3,973.00 per month, almost $2,800.00 more than rentals elsewhere in the country. Looking to buy? The average sale price of a home in Manhattan is $1.46 million, compared to under $230,000.00 elsewhere. I suppose the good news is that in New York City, you don’t have to own your home for an elite status, as is required in other areas. Considering a family of four making less than $68,700 per year qualifies for public housing in New York City – you better be making bank if you plan to check your mailbox next to any celebrities.

If rent has not broken you, you must also eat! I mean, you won’t be eating MUCH after paying rent, but you will need a nibble here and there. It will come as no surprise that the restaurants in New York City are pricey. Celebrity favorites such as the Four Seasons, Le Cirque and Nobu are over $50.00 PER PERSON. I just choked on my Diet Coke. Eateries such as McDonald’s and local Mexican restaurants are abundant, but they too are higher priced than elsewhere. Your best bet? Learn to cook. Eat leftovers. Use coupons. Pair those coupons with sale items. Find a generous and rich companion. Skip meals.

As far as entertainment goes, I’m afraid at this point, your only entertainment will be browsing the web for supplementary forms of income. Seriously, unless you are in the 1%, utilize the many forms of free entertainment that New York City has to offer. A jog through Central Park, window shopping or a walk through the city all offer ample opportunity for fun free of charge. Sadly, Broadway plays and designer shopping must be left to the rich and famous.

In conclusion, one can lead a good, but not extravagant, life in New York City on a normal income. Be prepared to work hard, save hard and live frugally. Unless you’re living on money that is coming from an investment or dividend, you shouldn’t expect anything more. Listen, New York City is exciting, good grief, it’s the “city that never sleeps,” but it isn’t cheap. Of course, the people I know who have lived there for a short stint of time had little money and have since moved on – with no regrets and countless memories from that season of life.

5 Pain-Free Ways to Save Your Money

Finance

Everyone needs an emergency fund. More than that, you will eventually need retirement savings, a new car, a big-screen TV, or maybe just a new kidney. Whatever the reason, one day, have a comfortable savings account will make your life easier.

But, Jason, you say, it’s hard to save money! How can I start saving when I can’t make ends meet? I’ve got rent, 9 kids, and a DVD addiction that won’t quit. My mortgage is underwater, my Mercedes still has 8 years on the loan, and the Shoe-of-the-Month Club only carries Christian Louboutin’s. What can I do?

Well, I’ll reply, since I am Jason and you asked for me by name, you need to find a way to make it happen. I’d never recommend someone give up their diamond-studded kicks, but something’s gotta give. In the meantime, there are some ways you can save money without feeling the sting of delayed gratification.

1. Save your raise. When you get your next raise, pretend you didn’t. Set up an automatic transfer to stick that new 5% straight into a savings account. Don’t give yourself an opportunity to spend it.

2. Find it, hide it. When your Aunt Gertrude dies and leaves your her extensive collection of California Raisins figurines, sell them and save the money. If you find a $20 bill on the ground, throw it right into your savings account. When your 30th lottery ticket of the week gives you a $10 prize, save it! Don’t waste found money on luxuries. Use it to build your future.

3. Let it lapse. Do you have magazine subscriptions you never read? Or a gym membership you haven’t used since last winter? Panty-of-the-Month? Crack dealer who delivers? Stop paying them! Let those wasted services fall to the wayside and put the money to better use. I don’t mean flipping QVC products on eBay, either. Save the money.

4. Jar of 1s. Roughly once a week, I dig through my pockets and my money clip looking for one dollar bills. Any that I find go in a box to be forgotten. I use that box as walking-around money for our annual vacation, but it could easily get repurposed as a temporary holding tank for money I haven’t gotten to the bank, yet.

5. Round it up. Do you balance your checkbook? If you don’t, start. If you do, start doing it wrong. Round up all of your entries to the nearest dollar. $1.10 gets recorded as $2. $25.75 goes in as $26. If you use your checkbook or debit card 100 times a month, that’s going to be close to $75 saved with absolutely no effort. It even makes recording your spending easier.

There you have it, 5 easy ways to save money that won’t cause you a moment’s pain.

Do you have any tricks to help you save money?

5 Things to Do in the New Year

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

CNN Money has an article up on 5 things to do this year. After posting a similar article a couple of weeks ago, I thought it’d be interesting to post about someone else’s perspective.

1. Shop for a no-fee checking account.

If you are paying fees for a checking account, go somewhere else. There are so many alternatives available that you shouldn’t be throwing money away. Ally Bank has a great no-fee checking account, as does INGDirect, though ING won’t let you write paper checks against the account. The same principle applies to credit cards. If you have a card with an annual fee and you aren’t getting some monster services or rewards to go with it, run away.

2. Save your raise.

I don’t necessarily agree with this one. If you are in debt, it’s better to use the raise to pay off that garbage, first. When I got my last raise, I immediately boosted the automatic payment for my car to use every new penny. I’ve never had the money available, so I haven’t missed it. Whatever you do, fight lifestyle inflation. Just because you have some more money doesn’t mean you need to spend it. At my last job, I got a substantial raise, so I bought a new car, only to get laid off a few months later.

3. Go for a checkup

Wealth doesn’t matter if you squander your health. Go get a physical. Every disease is easier to treat if you catch it earlier as opposed to later. Don’t make the mistake of running your body into the ground. You will regret it later. Effective this year, most health plans will cover a physical with no copay, co-insurance, or deductible allowed.

4. Score a better rewards card.

B***-****. If you’ve still got debt, don’t concentrate on using more of it. Get that crap paid off. If you’re out of debt, look into getting a rewards card that aligns with your goals. If you like to travel, get a card that gives you frequent flier miles. Otherwise, I’d go with a cash-back rewards card.

5. Use your vacation days.

37% of Americans don’t take all of the vacation to which they are entitled. That’s insane! We work harder and better when we have time to recuperate and relax. Unfortunately, I usually fall into that unfortunate 37%. My vacation resets on February 1st, and this will be the first year in a lot of years that I haven’t had to roll it over or even lose some.

What is your financial plan for the new year?

Saturday Roundup – Holiday Edition

Misc

Merry Christmas.

Or, Happy Saturday, as the case may be.

T0day, we are herding all of my nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters-in-law, and parents into my house for a second Christmas dinner and gift exchange. It’s the first holiday we’ve hosted. It should be interesting.

On a side note, we’ve gotten so much snow, I’ve almost lost my grill, sitting on my deck. Another 2-3 inches, and my patio table will be just a white mound of cold.

Best Posts

Here is a great story about waking up the Christmas spirit. That’s spirit, not spirits. We’re not discussing booze.

Think you can retire on a million bucks? Think you can get to a million bucks?

I’ve recently realized that I’ve spent more time on the hiring side of the interview table than the out-of-work side. I’m nowhere close to 500 hires, though.

Oooh! Shopping for money! That’s something I’m going to look into. Nothing like turning habits into cash.

This is some serious travel hacking. 15 flight, 16 cities, 9 countries, 35000 miles for $400.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.

The secret to fearless change? Just get started. Everything else will follow.

I also wrote a post about one of my core values. Without integrity, what can you really have?

Finally, a post on how distractions will kill your productivity.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

How Much Should You Tip? was an Editor’s Pick in the Festival of Frugality. Thanks!

Shaving for Real was included in the Carnival of Money Stories.

Anchor Price Your Salary was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

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That’s all for today. Have a great weekend!

Search Results for: slow-carb-diet-how-to-avoid-going-bat-crazy/5-steps-to-save/travel-expenses-why-i-splurge/ignore-your-budget/what-happens-when-you-save/first-3-things-to-do-in-the-new-year/subscribe-by-email/how-to-complain-the-squeaky-wheel-gets-the-grease

Related articles

1. Shop for a no-fee checking account.

2. Save your raise.

3. Go for a checkup

4. Score a better rewards card.

5. Use your vacation days.

Best Posts

LRN Timewarp

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Get More Out of Live Real, Now