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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

What Happens When You Save

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

I’m a debtor.

I’d like that to be otherwise, but I’m pretty close to the limit of what I can do to change that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s changing, but there is a limit to how many side projects I can take on at one time. So, I’m in debt and likely to stay that way for the next couple of years.

As part of my budget, I set up a few categories of items that are either necessities or “really wants” without being immediate expenses. For example, I’m setting aside some money each month for car repairs, even though my car isn’t currently broken. When it comes time to fix something, I hope to have the money available to fix it, without having to scramble or <spit> tap into my emergency fund.

All told, I have about a dozen of these categories set up, each as a separate INGDirect savings account. Twice a month, a few hundred dollars gets transferred over and divided among the savings goals. Most of these goals are short-term; they will be spent within the year, like the account for my property taxes. Some of them are open-ended, like my car repair fund. Some are open ended, but will eventually end, like the fund to finance my son’s braces. All of the accounts are slowly growing.

As I’ve watched the progress of my savings accounts, I’ve noticed something funny.

My confidence is up.

It may only be a few thousand dollars, but it’s more money than I have ever had saved. The vast majority of this money will be spent over the next few years, but having it there, now means that I have tomorrow covered. For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck to paycheck. No matter what happens, I know I can make ends meet for a couple of months. That fact alone has reduced my stress level more than I could have imagined.

Two years ago, I was sure I was going to file bankruptcy. Now, I’m looking at being just two years away from having all of my debt gone. I have faith that my future will be bright, and only getting brighter. If I can dig myself out of this hole once, I can do it again, no matter what happens.

This has brought a calm that I can’t easily explain. I don’t have to worry about where next week’s groceries are going to come from, or how we’re going to afford braces in a couple of years.

Having an emergency fund and some auxiliary funds has been entirely worth the work we’ve done for last two years. Have you noticed any changes as you pay off your debt and build savings?

Carnival of Personal Finance #270, the Elvis is Dead Edition

Misc

: Image via Wikipedia

Today is the 33rd anniversary of the death of Elvis, so I’m bringing you the “Elvis is Dead” edition of the Carnival of Personal Finance.

What can the King teach us about finance? The immediate lesson is, of course, to not let success destroy you or your life. Always remember what is important.

“Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity.” -Elvis Presley

Before we get into the carnival, please take a moment to subscribe, either by rss or by email. If you are on twitter, please follow me at @LiveRealNow.

Editor’s Picks

“When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.”
-From his acceptance speech for the 1970 Ten Outstanding Young Men of the Nation Award. Given at a ceremony on January 16, 1971

Craig Ford from Money Help For Christians presents How to Buy Cars With Cash. This is great advice. My car will be paid off in the next few months and I will be doing exactly this.

FMF from Free Money Finance presents Are Tattoos at Work Really That Acceptable? Do tattoos limit your career? I reference this graphic when thinking about a tattoo.

Pop from Pop Economics presents Getting a raise: The negotiation. It’s always best to raise your top line as high as possible. Bringing in more money is far more effective that simply reducing your expenses.

[Read more…] about Carnival of Personal Finance #270, the Elvis is Dead Edition

Sunday Roundup: The Giant Marketing Fail

Misc

When I was a kid, there were 44 cookies in a box of Thin Mints. Now? I’ve lost 16 cookies and that makes me sad.

When I was a kid, Girl Scouts went door-to-door selling cookies and freezing. Now? Coworkers bring in the cookies to sell.

When I was a kid, there was a 6 week wait in between ordering cookies and eating them, creating a fantastic urge built on anticipation. Now? They are right there.

Girl Scout cookies have been an undeniable success as a fundraiser. Entire generations have grown up waiting for that wonderful time of the year(February) when the little crack-hustlers come knocking on the door, trying to score some cash for their treats.

Remember the myth about drug dealers putting LSD on stickers and passing them out at elementary schools to hook children and make them addicts for life? That was actually based on the true story of Girl Scouts and Samoas/Carmel Delites. They came into our classrooms, plying their wares and hooked their classmates, a generation at a time.

Fast forward 20 years, and who are they marketing to? The established addicts. Now, it’s family, friends, and coworkers selling cookies, instead of the girls themselves addicting their classmates. Who’s going to buy the cookies in 30 years? Nobody. The addicts are going to be falling out of the market and their replacements will be imaginary. Really, who wants to buy half a box of cookies for $3.50 when the choice isn’t driven by nostalgia or addiction?

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet. I am currently up to 50 in a set and 145 in a session.

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 36 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 1 pound since last week. I’m not surprised the rate of loss is down. I’m doing a lot of push-ups, almost 1500 in the last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 21 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week. Interesting tidbit: I’ve lost 7 inches off of my waist since I went on the diet.

Best Posts

Have you ever used a credit card‘s concierge service? Beats Google for some things.

Did you know that the TARP(Troubled Asset Relief Program/bank bailout administration) has its own armed police force? Don’t defraud TARP, or a SWAT team could come knocking on down your door.

From now on, any story I read that doesn’t involve psychotic tree rats will lose a few points on the Jason Scale of Awesomeness.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

I wrote a post about eliminating junk mail and spam phone calls. I still smile when I think about the section on guerrilla warfare.

There’s also a timeless post on avoiding identity theft.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Things to teach your kids about money was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

How to Deal with Debt While You’re Out of a Job was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Carnival of Money Stories – Halloween Aftermath Edition

Finance, Misc

: Image by Dunechaser via Flickr

Welcome to the November 1, 2010 edition of the Carnival of Money Stories. One thing I didn’t do when volunteering to host this was to check my calendar. Did you know that November 1 follows October 31, every year? On Saturday, I had 30 people over for my annual Halloween party. On Sunday, I ran a haunt in my yard and coordinated to get a dozen kids out begging for candy while using my house as a base of operations. I’ve had guest from out-of-town since Friday. Halloween weekend is, by far, the busiest weekend of the year at my house.

Editor’s Picks

J. Savings presents Side Hustle Series: I’m a Restaurant Server posted at Budgets Are Sexy, saying, “Is serving tables thankless work? Yes. Are customers sometimes unpleasant? Of course. But the benefits are plenty!”

Wenchypoo presents Marketing, Marketing Everywhere–There’s No Escape! posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo’s Mental Wastebasket.

The Wise Squirrel presents Does it Matter Who is the Main Provider Between Husband and Wife? posted at Squirrelers, saying, “Money story about a dual-income couple in which the husband had the opportunity for a big promotion that would have required a move, AND his wife to leave her job. Their different viewpoints are discussed.”

Business

Ryan @ CML presents Get a Tax Deduction for a Working Vacation posted at Cash Money Life, saying, “Tips on how to write off a business trip as a tax deduction.”

Career

Jeff Rose, CFP presents How to Pass the CPA Exam and Become a Certified Public Accountant posted at Jeff Rose, saying, “If you are interested in becoming a CPA, here are some of the experiences of someone who just recently passed the CPA exam.”

Jason @ Redeeming Riches presents What Sam Walton Teaches Us About Money, Success, and Family posted at Redeeming Riches, saying, “Sam Walton had it all – or did he? Find out the biggest regret he had on his death bed.”

Credit

Mr Credit Card presents Cash Vs. Credit, A Real World Experiment posted at Ask Mr Credit Card.

Debt

The Family CEO presents Debt Snowflakes: Or How I Made $821.73 in Extra Credit Card Payments This Month posted at The Family CEO.

Kaye presents Stuck in the Middle posted at Mrs Nespy’s World, saying, “The beginning of the journey was excited, the end will be exhilarating, but this “in the middle” stuff is for the birds.”

Kate Kashman presents Why Not To Bounce Checks posted at The Paycheck Chronicles, saying, “An accidental bounced check in college is still causing trouble, 20 years later.”

Michael Pruser presents Managing $225,000 in Debt Is Starting to Ware on Me posted at The Dough Roller, saying, “My struggles on managing a ton of debt!”

PT presents 5 Lessons Learned From Filing Bankruptcy posted at Prime Time Money, saying, “Lessons learned from an actual account of going through a bankruptcy.”

Silicon Valley Blogger presents Should You Pay Off Loans or Invest Your Money? posted at The Digerati Life, saying, “So you’ve got some money. Should you pay off your debt with it or invest the money? Here’s a personal account on what I’ve done.”

Housing

BWL presents Success Story: Paying Off A House In 5 Years While Tithing posted at Christian Personal Finance, saying, “This is an encouraging story of a woman who stuck to her convictions about giving 10% of her income and still managed to pay off her house in less than 5 years!”

Miranda presents Do I Really Want to Rent Out My House? posted at Personal Dividends – Money+Lifestyle.

Investing

2 Cents presents What Would Make Me Invest in the Stock Market? posted at Balance Junkie, saying, “We have not invested in the markets for a while now. A reader recently asked what it would take for us to get back in. Here’s my answer!”

FIRE Getters presents Early Retirement Case Study – Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl posted at FIRE Finance, saying, “At times the fast pace of our city lives appear stifling making us long for a slower pace of life with more exposure to clean air and green vegetation. Our souls yearn for a simple life which is in greater harmony with Mother Nature. Of late our work related health problems have been making us yearn, almost every morning, for a more relaxed life with greater freedom. So we were thrilled to read about Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl who retired early (at ages 48 and 47 respectively) more than a dozen years ago to their eight-acre farm in Cottage Grove, Oregon …”

Other

Neal Frankle presents Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigslist posted at Wealth Pilgrim: Money Management Advice, Financial Stess Management, Addiction Recovery Plan & Resources, saying, “You Can Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigs List If you’re looking for high paying 2nd jobs, look no further than your computer screen.”

Super Saver presents Retiree Financial Lessons from the Recession posted at My Wealth Builder, saying, “Although I wish this recession had not happened, I am glad that it happened early in our retirement, while we were better able to meet the financial challenges.”

Craig Ford presents Medi-Share Medical Sharing | A Health Insurance Substitue posted at Money Help For Christians, saying, “Medical sharing is a great way to reduce your health insurance costs.”

passive family income presents Cutting Out Wasted Expenses to Save More Income posted at Passive Family Income, saying, “How many wasted expenses are you paying for? After sorting through my family’s past years credit card and bank statements, I have found several small money leaks in our personal finances.”

Kristina presents Our Parents Estate posted at Dual Income No Kids, saying, “If your parents are divorced, how has their separation affect the way you have planned your estate?”

Donna Freedman presents Rockin’ the surveys — when it’s worth it. posted at Surviving and Thriving, saying, “Online surveys can be a nice source of extra income — except when they aren’t.”

Joe Plemon presents My Car Needs an Engine. Should I Sell it, Fix it or Junk it? posted at Personal Finance By The Book, saying, “What do you do when your beloved car needs an engine: sell it, fix it or junk it? This post explores the options.”

FMF presents My Type of Couple posted at Free Money Finance, saying, “Story of a couple who collected 400k cans to pay for their wedding.”

Lindy presents Once Upon a Time…I Used an Iron posted at Minting Nickels, saying, “One of the likely first stops in expense-slashing is the luxury of paying for laundered shirts. This is a tale of my ironing saga (yes, it qualifies as a saga). And it’s not as boring as this description sounds. Thanks!”

Sandy presents One Disaster Away posted at Yes, I Am Cheap, saying, “We sometimes pass judgment on others for the financial situation, but most of us need to realize that all it takes is one disaster to be in the same situation.”

Bucksome presents Top 7 Ways I Budget My Time posted at Buck$ome Boomer’s Journey to Retirement, saying, “Budgets are needed for more than money in this story about 7 ways to budget time.”

Tom @ Canadian Finance Blog presents How to Watch Cheap and Free TV in Canada posted at The Canadian Finance Blog, saying, “Want to know how to see free TV in Canada? You have a few options with over the air free HDTV, broadcaster’s websites and cheap services like Netflix!”

Lauren Mendel presents A Very Scary Money Story posted at Richly Reasonable – Successes and failures, all in the name of living reasonably., saying, “This Halloween week read the true, terrifying tale of how Husband and I almost lost literally every important document that we have. Muahahaha! You might want to lock your doors and close the blinds before reading this one…”

Sun presents What’s in My Wallet? posted at The Sun’s Financial Diary.

Shopping

Money Beagle presents Costco Coupon Policies – Truth or Fiction? You Decide posted at Money Beagle.

ctreit presents Our family budget has to accommodate this chocolate snob posted at Money Obedience, saying, “Name brands versus store brands.”

Rachel presents Sometimes Less Is More | MomVesting posted at MomVesting, saying, “Melinda talks about how the value of many things isn’t necessarily determined by their cost.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Money Stories using the carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on the blog carnival index page. Thank you, everyone, for participating!

Sunday Roundup – Nook Failure

Misc

This week, I spent more than 2 hours, 20 emails, and 30 miles trying to convince UPS and Barnes & Noble to get me a Nook that I paid for 3 weeks ago. Hopefully, I’ll have it early this week. If not, I’m giving up. The only other action I’m willing to take to get this resolved is to call my credit card company and file a chargeback.

Fun!

Weight Loss Update

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 41 pounds since January 2nd. That’s no progress since last week. I’m still doing push-ups every day, so it’s not surprising that I’m flunking weight loss.

Total Inches: I have lost 22.5 inches in the same time frame, up half an inch since last week.

Best Posts

Five Cent Nickel had a post on tipping. I always tip, but I don’t consider 15% to be a requirement. If the service sucks, I tip just a few cents. If the service is great, I easily and always clear 20%. A friend tried telling me that servers expect 20% to be standard, but that’s nuts. They aren’t the people who get to make that decision.

Money Crashers talked about traveling for free. In anticipation of the Financial Blogger Conference in October, I opened a travel rewards card. I’m hoping to make the trip for free.

I watched a TedTalk yesterday about teaching kids about electricity with homemade play-dough. This is a project that will be happening.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Narrow Bridge Finance ran my post, Monsters, while I ran his, Living the High Life, for the Yakezie blog swap, answering the question “What motivates you financially?”

Negotiating Superstar was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!