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How to Have a Perfect Life
A few years ago, my wife and I were discussing life improvement, the options in front of us, and our future goals. She said she felt trapped by the scope of our goals and didn’t know where to start. That led to a discussion on
achieving our goals, which led to this.
Examine your life. Take stock of every aspect of your life. What pleases you? What upsets you? What do you do that adds no value to your life? Or worse, removes value? What do you do that adds the most value? What would you like to change? Eliminate? Improve? Count the small things. Nothing is insignificant. Write it all down and be specific.
Analyze your list. Are there any obvious patterns? Is there a single thread that is making you miserable or affecting multiple other items? Would eliminating 1 factor improve 90% of the rest? Is there a bad job or a toxic relationship ruining your happiness? Be honest and be critical.
What are your dreams? Where would you like to be in six months? A year? 5? 10? How would you like to retire? When? Write it all down. This is now your life plan.
Set goals. Set concrete, definable goals. Set goals that have an obvious success point. When you reach your goal, you want to be able to point it out. “Lose weight” is not a goal. “Lose 50 pounds in the next year” is a measurable, definable, concrete goal. Set incremental goals to reach your larger goals and, more importantly, your dreams.
Here’s an example:
Dream: Retire at 50.
- Incremental Goal: Get a 10% raise within 6 months
- Incremental Goal: Eliminate debt within 3 years
- Incremental Goal: Max out 401k contribution
- Incremental goal: Save 150,000 within 10 years
- Incremental Goal: Save 45k each year after that.
- Retire
When you are setting up your goal plan, make sure to include the analyzed items mentioned earlier. These are the things that will make today happier for you.
Now, you have examined your life. You have analyzed the results. You’ve gathered your dreams and compiled a goal plan based on your hopes, dreams, goals and desires. What’s next?
We’re going to take a page from David Allen. It’s time to Get Things Done. What do you have to do next to reach your goals? What is the next step? Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the scope of the entire list. Select one single item from your plan and look for the one single next step to make on the path to that goal.
Going back to the retirement goal plan, the next step towards a 10% raise could be researching salaries for your job description in your area to give you ammunition in the meeting with your boss. It could be updating your resume to hunt for a better paying job, or even just studying up on some resume tips.
If you want to run a marathon next year, the next step is to start walking every day to train your body.
If you want to improve communication with your spouse, the next step is probably to let her know.
If you want to eliminate debt, the next step may be setting up a budget or canceling unnecessary services like cable.
Every goal has a path leading to it. If that’s not true, you haven’t defined a concrete measurable goal.
Examine your life. Analyze your situation. Know WHAT you want. Know what you want to change. Set goals to get there, one step at a time. Take a single step towards your goals.
Then take another.
What are you doing to reach your goals and improve your life?
Teaching Kids about Money
Today, Mr Credit Card from www.askmrcreditcard.com is going to contribute with an article about things we can teach our kids about life and money. He asks that you check his best credit card offers page if you are looking for a new card
I honestly think teaching kids about money this is the most overlooked thing that most parents do not teach. Instead, kids learn from our behavior and how we treat money. But I really think the subject of how to manage money must be taught.
I have three kids and teaching them stuff is sure tough. But as a parent, I would like to instill good habits (including money habits). Here are some of the things I think we can do to teach them about various aspects of life that will affect their outlook about hard work and money.
Reward Hard Work hard and Not Just Results – Some kids are talented at certain things like math or baseball. Very often (in their early ages), they excel in school or sports without much effort because of talent. But very often, because of the talent, they do not develop the habit of working hard (because they do not have to). But as they grow older, they are going to face obstacles. If they do not learn the value of hard work and overcoming difficulties, they will hit the brick wall often. Teaching them the value of hard work (even if they are talented) is so important.
What has this got to do with money? Well, I think delayed gratification is one of the hardest thing to teach, so we try to praise our kids when they achieved something due to hard work. We tell them that they accomplished it because they worked at it and we explain that to be able to afford expensive things, they have to study hard, work hard and earn their own money!
Going to Shop Does Not Mean You Have to Shop! – There are various ways to go about doing it. One way is simply to explain concepts as they come along. For example, initially, my kids always wanted to buy stuff when they go to Toys R Us or anywhere else. To put a stop to this nonsense, we had to explain that just because we went to a shop does not mean we have to buy anything. We could be just looking, doing some research or simply buying a gift for someone else.
Ask Them What Happened To Stuff They Bought A While Ago – Another thing that we like to bring up to our kids when they want to buy something on impulse is to remind them of something they bought in the past and whether they are now still excited over it and playing with it. Chances are that they will say no! We found that this was a very effective way to make them realize that they should think twice before buying anything.
Teach Kids to Compare Price – Here is another technique we use: When we go grocery shopping, Mrs Credit Card asks the kids to compare prices of the cheapest cereals. We explain to them that even though they love a particular one, there are times when it is not the best time to buy it. They should only buy it if it is on sale. We also ask them to compare the price relative to the weight of the product to see which gives greater value for money. After a while, they catch on and only buy cereal that is on sale!
Make Them Work – I see lots of kids organizing lemonade stands outside their houses during summer. It could be to draw crowds for a garage sale or to raise money for a fundraiser. I think this is such a great thing as they can learn so many things just from selling lemonade. They can learn the the concept of selling things for a profit.
Another common task kids or teens take is to work to earn some money. It could be as simple as baby sitting, walking your neighbors dog or working at the ice-cream shop. Making them realize that they need to earn before they can spend is a good lesson.
Slowly Give Them More Responsibilities – As kids grow older, I believe in giving them more responsibility. It could be making the oldest kid look after their younger siblings. Or giving them tasks like clearing the trash, doing the dishes, etc. I know of some parents who give their teens prepaid credit cards to start teaching them about using “credit” (though it is not technically credit). Maybe that is a bad idea as you want them to know to manage a student credit card when they are old enough to get one.
Selling Things For Fund Raisers – One of the things that I admire about the Boys Scouts is that they are always doing fundraisers for their scouting trips and events (no money, no outings). It teaches them “cold calling” or more likely, approaching Dad and Mom’s friends to sell things like coffee beans and Christmas wreaths!
Teach Them Not To Waste Stuff – Another thing I like to emphasize to kids is not to waste stuff. Whether it is the water when they brush their teeth or making sure they do not waste food, we are pretty particular about this. I think this is a good mindset to instill in our kids.
Performance Matters More Than How Good Your Look – I find that kids like to buy fancy stuff and beyond a certain age, they are conscious about brands. I’ve mentioned this before, but when my kids first played baseball and soccer, they keep bugging me to get them the fancy gear. I had to keep telling my kids that how you perform matters more than your gear. After a couple of years of playing, I think they have finally come to realize this and no longer bug me about things.
It’s a Never-Ending Process – Teaching your kids about money and other things that are important is a never-ending process. But you have to do it when they are young because once they grow older, they tend not to listen to their parents anymore and are more likely to be influenced by peers.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.
5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten. One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits. You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.
How can you do that? Habits aren’t easy to break. Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes. There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
- Commit to just 30 days. I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days. If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is. For just one month, don’t buy anything. I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31. Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy. No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals. Just 1 month.
- Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash. If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card. Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
- Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed. So, I avoid bookstores. My wife has problems with clothing stores. A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment. What are your triggers? What makes you spend money without thinking? Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
- Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good. It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies. The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it. You need to stop that. Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
- Avoid shopping online. E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice. You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying. You just buy. The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks. Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.
Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break. There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits. Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system. How do you avoid or break bad habits?
Clearing Up Social Debt in 3 Steps
Debt can be thought of as a disease–probably social. Most of the time, it was acquired through poor decision making, possibly while competing with your friends, occasionally after having a few too many, often as an ego boost. Unfortunately, you can’t make it go away with a simple shot of penicillin. It takes work, commitment and dedication. Here are three steps to treating this particular affliction.
1. Burn it, bash it, torch it, toss it, disinfect. Get rid of the things that enable you to accumulate debt. If you keep using debt as debt, you will never have it all paid off. That’s like only taking 3 days of a 10 day antibiotic. Do you really want that itchy rash bloodsucking debt rearing its ugly head when you’ve got an important destination for your money? Take steps to protect yourself. Wrap that debt up and keep it away.
2. Quit buying stuff. Chances are, you have enough stuff. Do you really need that Tusken Raider bobble-head or the brushed titanium spork? They may make you feel better in the short term, but after breakfast, what have you gained? A fleeting memory, a bit of cleanup, and an odd ache that you can’t quite explain to your friends. Only buy the stuff you need, and make it things you will keep forever. If you do need to indulge, hold off for 30 days to see if it’s really worthwhile. If it’s really worth having, you can scratch that itch in a month with far fewer regrets.
3. Spend less. This is the obvious one. The simple one. The one that makes breaking a heroin addiction look like a cake-walk(My apologies to recovering heroin addicts. If you’re to the point that personal finance is important to you, you’ve come a long way. Congratulations!). Cut your bills, increase your income. Do whatever it takes to lower your bottom line and raise your top line. Call your utilities. If they are going to take your money, make them work for it. If they can’t buy you drinks or lower your payments, get them out of your life. There’s almost always an alternative. Don’t be afraid to banish your toxic payments. Eliminate your debt payments. This page has a useful guide to debt and how to clear it off.
Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
Save Your Family
I don’t attach much importance to dreams. They are just there to make sleepy-time less boring. Last night, I had a dream where I spent most of my time trying to prepare my wife to run our finances before telling my son that I wouldn’t be around to watch him grow up. That’s an unpleasant thought to wake up with. Lying there, trying to digest this dream, I started thinking about the transition from “I deal with the bills” to “I’m not there to deal with it”. We aren’t prepared for that transition. Last year, we started putting together our “In case of death” file, but that project fell short. The highest priorities are done. We have wills and health directives, but how would my wife pay the bills? Everything is electronic. Does she know how to log in to the bank’s billpay system? Which bills are only in my name, and will go away if I die? Is there a list of our life insurance policies?
I checked the incomplete file that contains this information. It hasn’t been updated since September. It’s time to get that finished. Procrastinating is inappropriate and denial is futile. Here’s a news flash: You are going to die. Hopefully, it won’t happen soon, but it will happen. Is your family prepared for that?
The questions are “What do I need?” and “What do I have?”
First and foremost, you need a will. If you have children and do not have a will, take a moment–right now– to slap yourself. A judge is not the best person to determine where your children should go if you die. The rest of it is minor, if you’re married. Let your next-of-kin, your spouse keep it. I don’t care. Just take care of your kids! Set up a trust to pay for the care of your children. Their new guardians will appreciate it. How hard is it to set up? I use Quicken Willmaker and have been very pleased. Of course, the true test is in probate court, and I won’t be there for it. If you are more comfortable getting an attorney, then do so. I’ve done it each way. You can cut some costs by using Willmaker, then taking it to an attorney for review.
It’s a sad fact that often, before you die, you spend some time dying. Do you have a health care directive? Does your family know, in writing, if and when you want the plug pulled? Who gets to make that decision? Have you set up a medical power of attorney, so someone can make medical decisions on your behalf if you aren’t able? Do you want, and if so, do you have a Do-Not-Resuscitate order? Willmaker will handle all of this, too.
What’s going to happen to your bank accounts? I’m personally a fan of keeping both of our names on all of our accounts. I share my life and my heart, I’d better be able to trust her with our money. If that’s not an option, for whatever reason, fill out the “Payable on Death” information for your accounts, establishing a beneficiary who can get access to your money if you die. Do you want your spouse to lose the house or the car if you die? Should your kids have to miss meals? Make sure necessary access to your money exists.
Does anybody know what you have for life insurance? Get a copy of the policy and make sure your spouse and someone else knows what company holds it and how much it is worth.
Now, it’s time to make some lists. You need to gather account numbers and contact information for everything.
- Bank accounts. List every bank and account you own. Checking, savings, CDs.
- Investment accounts. Again, every company, every account.
- Mortgage and car payment information.
- Life insurance. Get your policy numbers, contact information, beneficiaries, and amount of coverage all in one place.
- Credit card accounts. Every card, every company. If it’s just your name on the account, your spouse will need to send certified death certificates to stop collections. Otherwise, she’ll need to pay the bills.
- Utilities. Get the account number for the electric bill, the gas bill, water/sewer/garbage, cable and phones.
- Other bills. These include car/home insurance, Netflix, memberships and anything else you pay.
- I’ve included the account information for my web host, registrars and websites. Some of it is salable, some of it is income-generating.
- Car titles. Put the actual titles in the pile of lists.
- Property deeds. Keep these here, too.
Non-financial information to list:
- Online accounts. Any financial sites that would be useful, or any community sites you would like to have informed about your death. Your online presence is a part of who you are.
- Email accounts. Will your survivors need to interact with anybody potentially contacting you? They will need your username and password, or most big providers won’t let them in.
- Social media. How many networks do you participate in? Do you want to disappear, or should all of your Facebook friends know your dead?
- Blogs. Do you have a blog that needs an announcement? Does it generate income? Could it be sold?
- Contact list. Who else needs to be informed of your demise? Don’t make your loved ones hunt for the information.
Now, take all of this information and put it in a nice, fat envelope and lock it in the fireproof safe you have bolted to the floor. Make a copy and give it to someone you trust absolutely. Make sure someone knows the combination to the safe or where to find the key.
Your loved ones will appreciate it.
