Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

Search Results for: ignore-your-budget/subscribe-by-email/budget4/budget-lesson-part-3/how-to-complain-the-squeaky-wheel-gets-the-grease/budget-lesson-part-1/budget-lesson-part-5/contact-me

Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Celebrities

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana
Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

My Financial Life

Finance

My financial life right now is boooring.

And that’s a good thing.

When I started this site I was $90,000 in debt, and considering bankruptcy.  I’d just started on the Dave Ramsey plan and was looking for every possible way to scrape up any extra money  I could.

Now, the debt is nearly gone.

US interest payments on debt by sector as a fr...
US interest payments on debt by sector as a fraction of GDP 1960-2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
  • I’m looking at the last $8000 on my mortgage.  I have enough in savings to pay it off today, without draining my savings completely dry.
  • My IRA gets maxed out every year, and this year, my wife’s will be, too.
  • We save or invest about 30% of our income.
  • My credit score according to CreditKarma.com is 826.

Our credit card is almost paid off every month.  There’s occasionally some overlap between our auto-payment and our charges.  And sometimes the budgeted auto-payment doesn’t match the reality of our spending and I don’t notice for a week or two.  Except for the end of last year, but that’s a post for another day.

The short version is: We’re doing well, and we’re nearing the end of our financial problems.

Our scheduled mortgage over-payments will have it completely paid off in October.  Then we are debt-free and can hopefully manage to live the rest of our lives without paying interest on money that isn’t earning us more than we are paying.   For example, I’m willing to take out a mortgage to buy another rental property, but I’m going to wait to do that until our current mortgage is paid and we have a substantial down payment ready.

No debt.

I’m not kidding when I say it’s been a long 6 years of fighting our debt.  Counting a car loan we got and paid early, we’ve paid more than $110,000 of debt in six years.

I’ve run side businesses, aggressively negotiated raises, and left companies(voluntarily and otherwise) for better pay & benefits.

I’ve watched friends and family take vacations around the world.

I’ve turned my kids down for so many things that I would love to buy them, but couldn’t because being financially secure is a much higher priority than spoiling children.  Try explaining that to a 6 year old.

And now, the debt-ridden part of our financial journey is almost over.   Finally.

So what’s next?

I have no idea.  I’d like to travel more.  Linda and the girls want us to move to a hobby farm and get horses.  We want more rental properties.

Whatever “next” is, it will be done from a position of strength that won’t destroy our financial world or put out futures at risk.

 

How have you improved your situation today?

Finance

Every day, in some small way, it’s important to do something to improve your situation.  Whether it’s paying down debt, researching inexpensive alternatives to your existing expenses, or something as simple as hugging your spouse or playing games with your kids.

Educate

I was once told that every day, you either get smarter, or you get dumber.  Don’t do the latter.   Never pass up an opportunity to educate yourself.    Make the day good for you.

  • Read a book.  There are hundreds of personal finance books available.  Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover is a great place to start.
  • Read a blog.  Once again, lack of choice is not a problem here.  There are thousands of choices.  My favorites are in my sidebar, to the left.
  • Find a mentor.  Failing that, get a PF-Buddy. Find someone you can call when you need the moral support to make an appropriate or difficult financial decision.
  • Take a class.  Whether it’s a personal finance class, or some other way of improving yourself, do it.  Many cities offer affordable community education classes. Ad Hoc college courses are another option.

Elucidate

It’s incredibly important to understand your situation.  If you don’t know where you are, how can you control where you’re going?

  • Examine your finances.   I heartily recommend Quicken to track your finances, but Mint is a great place to see where your money has gone.
  • Know your debt.  It’s important to know your debt. Own it.  Know your fees and your rates.  Know every cent you owe.  Get a spreadsheet or a notebook and write it all down. Keep it updated.   Mint is great for this.  I update my debt-sheet monthly.
  • Know your spending.   This is another plug for Mint.   There’s no better way to see where your money has gone in the past.  I use Quicken for the present and future, Mint for the past and snapshots.
  • Find your waste. Do you have the cheapest plans that meet your needs for television, internet, phone service?  Do you have AAA and roadside assistance through your insurance company?
  • Talk to your spouse.  Discuss your finances. Make sure everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises or hidden bills.  Plan together.
  • Eliminate problems early.  If you see a problem, eliminate it before it gets out of control.  The earlier you identify a problem, the easier it is to eliminate.
  • Family meeting.  Get the family together so everyone can participate, even the children.   Young eyes sometimes have a clarity that a lifetime of habits has clouded. If your kids understand the concept of money, they are old enough to participate and even help.   Brainstorming means that no idea is a bad idea.  It may not be implemented, but everything is worth hearing.

Eradicate

What’s left? Eliminate baggage.  Kill your bills.  If you’re paying for something you don’t want or need, get rid of it!

  • Unnecessary items.  Do you have an extra cell phone or an insured motorcycle in the garage?  Time to cancel.
  • Unused items. Do you really use the movie package in your cable bill?  Are you saving money with Netflix, or would Redbox be a better option?
  • Forgotten bills.  Did you sign up for an identity protection scheme or an appliance repair plan for an appliance that no longer exists?  Cancel!
  • Fees.  What fees are you paying?  Do you have an annual fee for your credit card or minimum balance fees at your bank?  Find new institutions.  Loyalty to your bank may be costing you money.

Unused or unnecessary bills are nothing but unhappiness generators. They don’t provide value so trim the waste and get rid of what you don’t need.

 

Meal Plans

Finance

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

When we don’t have a meal plan, food costs more.

Our regular plan is to build a menu for the week and go to the grocery store on Sunday.  This allows planning, instead of scrambling for a a meal after work each night.   It also give us a chance to plan for leftovers so we have something to eat for lunch at work.

We work until about 5 every weekday.   When we don’t have the meal planned, it’s usually chicken nuggets or hamburger helper for dinner.   Not only is that repetitive, but it’s not terribly healthy.  It is, however, convenient.   If we plan for it, we can get the ingredients ready the night before and know what we are doing when we get home, instead of trying to think about it after a long day of work.

If we don’t plan for leftovers, we tend to make the right amount of food for the family.   When this happens, there’s nothing to bring to work the next day, which means I’ll be hungry about lunchtime with nothing I can do about it except buy something. Buying lunch is never cheaper than making it.   I can get a sandwich at Subway for $5, but I could make a sandwich just as tasty and filling for less than half of that, using money that is meant to be used for food.   All during wrestling season, we make 30-inch sandwiches on meet nights for a cost of about $5, feeding ourselves and at least a couple of others who didn’t have time to make their dinner before the 5:30 meet.

No leftovers also means no Free Soup, which is a wonderful low-maintenance meal that leaves everybody full.  Nobody ever gets bored of Free Soup.  (Hint:  Don’t ever put a piece of fish in the Free Soup, or the flavor will take over the entire meal.)

Unhealthy, repetitive food for dinner.  Over-priced, low-to-middle-quality food for lunch.

OR

We plan our meals right and have inexpensive, healthy food that doesn’t get boring for every meal.

It seems to be a no-brainer.   Except, I don’t have lunch today because we didn’t plan our meals and used the last of the leftover hamburger helper for dinner last night.

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Selling Your Home: For Sale by Owner

Finance

Image by Casey Serin via Flickr

When you’re preparing to sell your home, your first instinct is often to rush straight to a realtor.   There are benefits to using a trained real estate agent, but it isn’t always necessary.

The biggest motivation to skip the realtor is avoiding the fees, which can run as high as 7% or more in some places.  What does that 7% get you?

First, it gets you experience.  Realtors know which hoops you have to jump through, from both a legal and a marketing perspective.  Do you need an inspection?  How much of your stuff should you move to storage?  Are you comfortable with high-dollar negotiations?

Time is another critical item in the fee.  Do you have a minimum of an hour to dedicate to advertising and screening potential buyers?  Every day?  Do you have a flexible schedule to show your house at times convenient for the buyers?

The third element is access to the Multiple Listing Service(MLS), which lets other realtors see your home listing.  There are alternative listing services you can use, but none are as widely know as MLS.

There are some good reasons to use a realtor, but none of that means you can’t sell your home yourself.  FSBOs are done every day.

If you are nervous, your local community education program may have a course on selling your home yourself.  These courses are usually very affordable.

Some tips:

  • Be objective about pricing.  Look at the selling price of similar homes in the area, NOT what your dream price is or how much you have spent on improvements.
  • Always keep your home ready to show.  Keep the dishes done, everything put away, and the floors mopped.  The “lived-in” look will not help your house sell.
  • Keep track of the potential buyers.  Put the name, address, phone number, and any identifying notes in a spreadsheet so you can follow up later if your house doesn’t sell.
  • A bid is not binding.  Don’t stop advertising until you close on the sale.
  • Make a fact sheet and blank purchase agreement that potential buyers can take home.
  • Hire professionals where necessary: lawyers, inspectors, and closing agents.

Selling your home yourself can be intimidating, but it is a job you can tackle yourself for a significant savings.  Would you try it?

Fat guy running

Life

As part of my effort to improve every part of my life, I have decided to get back in shape. Twelve years ago, I worked in a factory during the day and cooked in a resaurant in the evening. I didn’t have a car, so I biked 5 miles in between my jobs. Fast forward 3 kids, a desk job, and 100 pounds later. I don’t enjoy getting winded on three flights of stairs and I like running while my daughter rides her bike. I’m going to get back in shape.

As a part of that effort, I recently bought a bike. I thought I was getting it for a steal, until I took it out. The chain kept slipping, the shifters were difficult, and it was too small for my frame. I took it back. A bike that would work well for me would cost $200-300, more than currently fits in my budget. Running is cheap, right? It is, unless I go for the runner-geek purchases. Every hobby and activity can become expensive if you let it. I may invest in some running shoes, but that will be the extent of my runner-geek shopping.

My plan was to run according to this this schedule, running every other day. Run one day, rest the next. The first day in week 3, I got petellofemoral pain, or “runner’s knee”. I went to the doctor and got x-rayed. There is nothing even hinting at major damage, which has always been a fear of mine, due to my barometer knee pain. The doctor gave me a sheet of stretching and strengthening exercises to do and told me to put running on hold for a bit. I will be doing the exercises every day this week. Next week, I’m starting over with my running schedule. I will be giving my knees an ice massage after each run and doing the exercises on the off days.[ad name=”inlineleft”]

I am writing this in October and have been running for half of September. Hopefully, the city will keep the roads plowed enough that I can run all through the winter. The schedule may slow down a bit, depending on weather, but I’m hopeful. By the time this posts, I will have a lot more information about how well I am doing.

Update: Mid-November.  Where did the last month go?  It’s amazing how fast time slips away if you aren’t watching it.  My barometer knee pain has been back, and life has been hectic.  I need to get his habit going again, before it freezes to much to start.