Search Results for “ignore-your-budget/budget4” — Page 4

Is Your Budget Doing More Harm Than Good?

Do you stress over your money?

Is your spouse under the impression that you are constantly fighting over money?

Are you constantly fighting over money?

Have you completely eliminated your quality of life?

Do you spend hours each week analyzing where your money has gone?

A total budget can have a negative effect on the other parts of your life. If your spouse isn’t 100% on board, maybe he/she needs some “blow money” that doesn’t need to be tracked. If you aren’t spending enough time with your children because you are tracking expenses and adjusting your budget every day, you need to automate something, or at least loosen your standards. Maybe tracking every penny isn’t the right method of budgeting for you.

Don’t let the perfect budget destroy the rest of your life. If money is still a fight, you’re going to need to compromise on something, now, or you’ll end up compromising with the help of a divorce attorney.

Don’t forget, you are living now, not in the future. Plan for the future, but live in the present. There is a balance there, somewhere. Find it, or you and your loved ones won’t be happy.

Update: This post has been included in the Money Hacks Carnival.

Invisible Cushion

Finance, Relationships

Debtor's Prison Historic Marker — Image by jimmywayne via Flickr

Earlier this year, we experimented with abandoning the strict budget in favor of automating as much as possible on our credit card, and keeping our discretionary spending under control, but on the same card.

We failed. It was 2 parts lack of communication, 3 parts lack of discipline, and 1 part “we’re dumb”. Transitioning back to cash hasn’t been that smooth. The problem is that we went over budget for a couple of months and our renewed budget had to shrink to cover the credit card.

To recap: Coming off a few months going over budget, we had to tighten our belts even more than we had before…after breaking our good habits.

It didn’t work out well.

If one of us forgot to grab cash, we’d just charge whatever we were buying, which gave the month’s budget a spanking, every time.

Last month, I added a new category to our budget. It’s just a cushion. I’ve got $200 whose sole purpose is to make sure we don’t go over budget.

But there’s a secret.

The cushion is a secret.

I’m not a fan of hiding money from my wife, but I’m hiding this. Generally, I think that money and relationships and secrets don’t mix.

However…

She’s told me that, when she knows there’s extra money, she has an urge to spend it. If I told her there was an extra $200, she would spend it. If I tell her that we have $40o to cover our discretionary spending, and she goes over by $50, we’re still $150 to the good, which leaves me room to have lapses in discipline or memory, too.

Then, at the end of the month, any of the invisible cushion that is left over can get applied to our debt payments.

This system should let us keep rolling, with less stress and fewer arguments, while still helping us get rid of our remaining debts. The biggest flaw is the secret. I’m bad at keeping secrets from my wife, especially about things that affect both of us, but if i let it slip, the invisible cushion will go away.

What do you think? Am I a jerk for hiding part of our budget? Do you hide anything about your finances?

10 Tips to Help Parents Stay Out of Debt

Finance, Parenting

People say that when you have a baby, your world gets flipped upside down. That’s not true. Your world gets dropped in a martini shaker and left to the whims of a sadistic bartender with a shaking fetish. Everything changes. That sounds like an exaggeration and nobody believes it until it happens, but it’s true.

When you find out you are about to reproduce, you will experience a phenomenon called “nesting”. Nesting is the idea that, if you take your credit cards and beat them against the curb until they bleed and VISA calls you asking for mercy, you will be transformed into the best parent ever, regardless of what you may actually screw up. It’s the way parents calm their fears by spending money, often on things that aren’t needed.

Q. How do you avoid becoming a debt-ridden, worried mess of an over-protective, over-extended new parent?

A. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

I can’t help with the rest, but here’s 10 ways you can avoid the debt problems.

Have a budget. I may have said this before. It’s possible this counts as a recurring theme here. If you don’t have a budget, you aren’t in control of your money. If you aren’t in control, then how do you know where it has gone or where it is supposed to go?
Budget for baby crap. This will be a recurring expense for years, so get used to it. A friend of mine is on the cusp of having everyone out of diapers for the first time since 1993. Do you think they plan that expense? Diapers.com has $10 off and free shipping on orders over $49. Use code “ LiveReal” during checkout.
Double the number you have in #2. Seriously. It will cost you more than you think, but it doesn’t have to cost you as much as you fear. It’s far better to have too much budgeted and find yourself with extra money than it is to budget too little and be forced to make up the difference at the feet of Master Card.
Only take the advice of people you know and trust. Every random jerkface on the street has (usually) well-intentioned advice for new and expecting parents. Ignore them all. If they aren’t your doctor, your mother(assuming she did her job right), or friends with children, they are clueless and their advice should be immediately round-filed. Ditto for parenting magazines. The writers don’t know better than you do. Read the magazines for six months and watch for conflicting advice, not only in the same magazine, but often from the same writer! Don’t add the stress of bad advice from strangers to what is already a stressful time.
Don’t get every gadget designed to cushion the baby. A wipe warmer is a waste of money. Do you want your baby to be scared of a little chill forever? Cold wipes build character. If that isn’t good enough, hold the wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it. There are a million other gadgets to keep your little one from ever feeling a moment of discomfort. Don’t waste your cash. It may only be 10 pounds, but it’s tougher than you think.
Don’t get every gadget designed to cushion the parent. They make ergonomic bottles, braces to hold your arms in the right position to feed, fancy cloths to catch baby vomit. Tough it up. Support your baby yourself. Build some muscle and some character. Use cloth diapers to catch various treasures your little brat will spit up on you. Spending more doesn’t always make it better. The ergonomic bottles that make it easier to feed a baby, make it harder for the baby to hold the bottle. This is actually making your life more difficult.
Focus on the necessities. Yes, the fancy formula with the pre-digested proteins has a nicer label. It doesn’t make a difference. The generic brand at the warehouse store usually has the exact same ingredients in the exact same ratios as the brand name at the baby store–for half the price. There is nothing special about the blankets in the baby section–except the price. The fancy bottle warmer doesn’t do anything that a cup of warm water on the counter won’t handle. You need: A crib, unless you are doing a family bed; a easy-to-clean mat to change diapers(on the floor works!); and a diaper bag(back-to-school backpacks are more ergonomic and easy to organize than anything in the baby store!). Everything else is a luxury.
Time counts more than stuff. No matter what else you hear, no matter how old your child gets, time with you counts more than anything else you could do or buy. Be there for your kids and the rest is gravy.
Brand-name and designer labels are not status symbols. The opinions of the other soccer mommies do not matter. The opinions of the random jerkfaces on the street do not matter. Designer labels do not make you a better parent and are not an indicator of a happy baby.
Always remember: Babies bounce and have short memories. While I don’t recommend bouncing your baby on the floor, they are surprisingly resilient. They don’t hold grudges, either. There is room to make mistakes without screwing up your kid.

For a hundred thousand years, people raised babies with nothing more than a scrap of hide to alternately chew on or wipe with. You can probably get buy with just a bit more. Relax and enjoy the process of raising your kids. Money doesn’t matter nearly as much as your presence.

My Financial Plan – How I Improve on Ramsey

Finance

In April, my wife and I decided that debt was done. We have hopefully closed that chapter in our lives. I borrowed, then purchased, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. budget” width=”300″ height=”213″ />We are almost following his baby steps. Our credit has always been spectacular, but we used it a lot. Our financial plan is Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover, with some adjustments.

Step 1. Budget:

The budget was painful, and for the first couple of months, impossible. We had no idea what bills were coming due. There were quarterly payments for the garbage bill and annual payments for the auto club. It was all a surprise. Surprises are setbacks in a budget.

When something came up, we’d start budgeting for it, but stuff kept coming up. We’re not on top of all of it, yet, but we are so much closer. We’ve got a virtual envelope system for groceries, auto maintenance, baby needs(we have two in diapers) and some discretionary money. We set aside money for everything that isn’t a monthly expense, and have a line item for everything that is. My wife is eligible for overtime and monthly bonuses. That money does not get budgeted. It’s all extra and goes straight on to debt, or to play catch-up with the bills we had previously missed. I figure it will take a full year to get all of the non-monthly expenses in the budget and caught up.

Step 2. The initial emergency fund:

Ramsey recommends $1000, adjusted for your situation. I decided $1000 wasn’t enough. That isn’t even a month’s worth of expenses. We settled on $1800, plus $25/month. It’s still not enough, but it’s better. Hopefully, we’ll be able to ignore it long enough that the $25/month accrues to something worthwhile.

Step 3. The Debt Snowball:

This is the controversial bad math. Pay off the lowest balance accounts first, then take those payments and apply them to the higher balance accounts. Emotionally, it’s been wonderful. We paid off the first credit card in a couple of weeks, followed 6 weeks later by my student loan. Since April, we’ve dropped nearly $10,000 and we haven’t made huge cuts to our standard of living. At least monthly, we re-examine our expenses to see what else can be cut.

Step 4. Three to six months of expenses in savings:

We aren’t on this step yet. In step 2, we are consistently depositing more, making us more secure every month.

Step 5. Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement:

I have not stopped my auto-deposited contribution. It’s stupid to pass up an employer match. My wife’s company does not match, so she is currently not contributing.

Step 6. College funding for children:

We have started a $10 College fund.

Step 7. Pay off home early:

I don’t see the point in handling this one separately. Our mortgage is debt, and when the other debts are paid, we will be less than a year from owning our house, free and clear. This is rolled in with step three. All debt is going away, immediately.

Step 8. Build wealth and give!

We have cut off most of our charitable giving. Every other year, it has been a significant percent of our income, and in a few more years, will be so again. The only exception to this is children knocking on the door for fundraisers. I have no problems with saying no to a parent fundraising for their kid, but when the kids is doing the work, door-to-door, especially in the winter, I buy something. My son’s school, on the other hand, gets fundraisers ignored. When they come home, I send a check to the school, ignoring the program. I bypass the overhead and make a direct donation.

Dealing With the Police 101

Life

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 01: Shackles for slav... — (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

Last night, a friend called me up and asked me to accompany him to the police station. The police had knocked on his door, waking up his girlfriend while he was out. When he called, they wouldn’t tell him why they wanted to talk to him. Was it an ex trying to make his life difficult or one of his employees getting investigated?

This friend has had a number of interactions with the police, but never learned how to deal with them. Before we left, I gave him a crash course in “stay out of jail”.

Lesson 1: The Police Are Not Your Friends.

During an investigation, you are a suspect. They are looking for a conviction. There may be a “good cop” trying to “help you out”, but he is trying to put you in jail. “Protect and Serve” doesn’t mean you. In general, it means society as a whole. During an investigation, they are serving the interests of the prosecutor.

Generally, they are going to look at you–as the target of their investigation–as the enemy. This is normal. They spend all of their time dealing with scumbags and s***heads. Naturally, they start to assume that everyone who isn’t a cop will fall into one of those categories.

Don’t get pissed when they act rude, ignore you, or anything else. It isn’t a lack of professionalism, it’s just a different profession. They are using interrogation techniques that have been proven successful. Ignore it and focus on Lesson 2.

It will feel wrong to disobey the authority you’ve been taught your entire life to obey. You’re not. You are standing by your rights. Nobody cares about your future more than you do. Certainly not the guy investigating you.

Lesson 2: Your Lawyer is Your Friend.

The second a police interaction starts to look like they are investigating you, demand your lawyer, then see Lesson 4. When you demand an attorney, they stop asking you questions. You can take it back and start talking, so again, see Lesson 4. It’s your attorney’s job to talk to the police and, if necessary, the media. It’s your job to talk to your attorney.

You don’t need an attorney ahead of time. Criminal defense attorneys are used to getting calls at 3AM. It’s part of their job. If you have a low enough income as defined by whatever jurisdiction you are being investigated in, you can get a public defender. That’s better than nothing, but I’d prefer to hire a professional shark, even if it means mortgaging my future. Prison is a big gamble.

Lesson 3. Consent is Your Enemy.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

“Officer, I do not consent to any search and I would like to speak to my attorney.” Remember this. Memorize it.

They need probable cause, a warrant, or permission to search your stuff. Never agree to it. Don’t stop them if they search anyway, but never, ever agree to a search. If the search is done improperly, your lawyer(see Lesson 2) will get the results of that searched thrown out.

It isn’t possible to get into more trouble for standing by your rights. There is no crime on the books anywhere in the US called “Refused Consent to Search”. Your day will not go worse because you defended your Constitutional rights.

Lesson 4. Shut Up.

I know a few defense attorneys. According to them, most of the people in jail either committed a crime in front of a bunch of witnesses, or they talked their way into jail. Shut up. You’ll want to either justify or defend yourself depending on the circumstances. Don’t. Shut up. It may be one of the hardest things you ever do, but keep your mouth closed. The only thing worse than talking is lying. Don’t lie, just keep quiet.

There is nothing you are going to say that will make your interrogator invite you home for Christmas. He isn’t your friend, you won’t meet his parents, you aren’t going to his birthday party. There is absolutely no win in talking to him. Shut up. The answer to every question is “Lawyer.” If the only thing you ~~say~~ babble is “Lawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyer”, you’re probably not going to do too badly.

In your car, the dynamic changes a bit, but the principles don’t. When a cop pulls you over, don’t argue. You can’t win an argument with a cop on the side of the road. Be nice, be polite, and as soon as possible, pull into a parking lot and take as many notes about the encounter as you can. If you are planning to fight whatever he pulled you over for, don’t give him any reason to remember you or spin his official report to make you look bad. Again, shut up. Catching a theme?

Gambling With Your Future

If you are being investigated by the police, your future–or some part of it–is on the line. While you are gambling with your criminal record and your freedom, don’t forget that you are an amateur in this arena. The police, the prosecutor, and your attorney are the professionals and the stakes can be huge. Keep your mouth shut, call your attorney, and thank me later.

Balance Your Borked Budget

Finance

You’ve got a budget worked out to the penny. You know every dollar that comes in and every dime that you spend. All of your bills are getting paid on time. Then, one day, it all comes crashing down. Your budget is no longer even a reasonable approximation of your cash flow. You’ve got no idea what’s coming in or going out. Bills are piling up and fees are digging you deeper in debt.

What happened? More importantly, how do you get back on track?

The first thing you need to do is identify the problem. What, exactly, went wrong? Did you lose your job or need a surprise botox injection? Your car died or your kid developed a hockey habit? Sports car or shoe sale? Whatever the cause, if you can’t identify it, you can’t deal with it. Some of the possible problems may be things that can get clubbed and buried in the backyard, while other things may be expenses that won’t be going away. If it’s a one-time expense, you can simply refocus your debt repayment to take it into account. If it’s an ongoing expense, you will need to adjust your other expenses, possibly in a drastic manner, to make ends meet. You can’t know which way to go without knowing what caused the problem.

Next, commit to to making it right. Don’t leave it at a mere commitment. Actually commit and actually do it right. Future-you is counting on you to fix the problem before he gets screwed. This is important. Without firm–and real–commitment, nothing else will matter. At best, you will be treading water. At worst, you will drown yourself in unanticipated bills.

Cut everything extra. Every expense–whether it’s your mortgage or your maid–is a rock in your pocket, one hundred miles from shore. How much can you carry and stay afloat? This isn’t the time to keep paying something because you enjoy it. If it isn’t absolutely necessary, it’s got to go. Cut your internet, cancel Netflix, learn to shut off the lights when you aren’t using them. Is the early termination fee less than 6 months of your cable bill, your satellite bill? Cancel it. You can always sign up again later. This is the time to be ruthless.

Is there a way to bring in some extra cash? Can you pick up a second job, or land a freelancing gig? If you’ve suddenly found yourself unemployed, can you spend some time on being a Mechanical Turk? Sell all of the things you don’t use anymore, or, more likely, never should have bought in the first place? Do you have a spare kidney?

Remember, this is a drastic situation calling for drastic measures. Your future is depending on you. Don’t make him come back and kick your butt.

Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Search Results for: ignore-your-budget/budget4