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5 Life Altering Lessons I Learned From My Debt

Starting position of a chess game. House of St... — Image via Wikipedia

Several years ago, my wife and I dug ourselves into debt pretty deep. It wasn’t as bad as some, but it was much worse than anybody could actually want. Recognizing the problem as a problem was a life-changing event. From there, I’ve been examining every thing else about my life. As part of that examination, I’ve spent a lot of time really thinking about the ultimate causes of the debt and what it has taken to motivate ourselves to get rid of it.

I’ve realized a few things:

The things I want right now do not matter. I own around 2000 movies. Up until last spring, every time I went into a store that sold movies, I’d peruse the cheap rack and buy 2-3 moves. I’d watch them all, but the vast majority were only ever watched once or twice. The rest may as well have been rented. I wanted them and I wanted them “right now”, but after watching them once, the value vanished. Most things I’ve bought on a whim lost their value to me shortly after bringing them home. Planned purchases are enjoyable longer.
The things I care about do not cost money. I cannot buy a kiss from my kids, or a hug from my wife. The school project my son did on his hero(Me!) is absolutely priceless. The TV, the smartphone, a new car, these things are fleeting. Teaching my kids to read or ride a bike, getting beat by a 6 year old at chess, these things will last us all forever. It took $30,000 of unsecured consumer debt to drill that lesson home.
Instant gratification is easier than security, but not nearly as gratifying. It is incredibly easy to buy what you want when you want it. It is much harder to postpone buying something until you can afford it. Once you build that habit, and see the savings of delayed gratification, it’s worth it. There is a comfort in having a few months worth of expenses in an emergency fund that no amount of knickknacks can match.
I like getting stuff more than I like having stuff. It’s easy to succumb to the temporary high of a quick purchase. It’s easy to train yourself to crave that high to the point that it’s impossibly to walk out of a store without buying something. I did that. When I cleaned out my entire house this spring, I came to the realization that I don’t need–or even want–most of the things I own. I wanted it once, but once I had it, the infatuation was gone. I didn’t have many problems unloading most of my crap. It felt good to get rid of it.
Owing money sucks. The borrower is slave to the lender. When our debt exceeded our annual income, we were working 3/4 of the time just to stay afloat. Instead of being able to spend my time and money on the things that matter, I was forced to spend thousands of hours just covering interest and pretending to make progress on my shackles. That’s not how I recommend spending your life. Time is the one thing you have that you can never get back. Don’t waste it on crap like debt.

Have you learned anything from your debt?

Make a Budget

Finance

: Image by r.lovewell via Flickr

In the past, I’ve gone through a detailed series of budget lessons demonstrating how to make a budget and showing my personal budget spreadsheet template. If you weren’t here to see them develop, you probably haven’t seen them at all. I’ve never built an actual index for those posts.

This is the master index of my budget planning resources. As I develop more, this will grow.

Budget Lesson #1 – In this lesson, I go over how we handle discretionary income and I explain our modified envelope system. The discretionary budget contains things like our grocery bill, or the clothes we buy. We have near-total discretion over what is purchased, hence the name.

Budget Lesson #2 – Lesson #2 contains the details of our monthly bills. These are the ones that are consistent, predictable, and actually due each month. Most people take these for granted as the bills they have to pay, but it’s not true. You can get almost all of your regular bills reduced just by asking. You would also be surprised what you can do without, when properly motivated.

Budget Lesson #3 – This is where I explain how we deal with the non-monthly bills. That is, the bills that have to be paid, but are not due on a monthly basis. I also share the personal budget spreadsheet template I developed. I am working on a few sample templates to match various imaginary scenarios. If you’d like to be an anonymous case study, and get free help setting up a budget, let me know, please.

Budget Lesson #4 – In this lesson, I describe our “set-aside” funds for things that will need to be paid eventually, but not on a set schedule. Sometimes, they are never actually due. We set aside money for the parties we throw, for car repairs and for a number of other things. A few of these items are outright optional, but they are part of what makes life fun. You can’t make a budget without including some of the extras.

Budget Lesson #5 – This is the companion piece to lesson 2. Learn how I’ve reduced–or attempted to reduce–each of these bills. For the better part of two years, I called Dish Network every few months to ask for a discount. For almost 2 years, it was granted. Then one, day, they told me they were putting a note on our account to keep us from getting any more discounts, so I canceled. 100% discounts help us save more.

Budget Lesson #6 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 3. These bills are harder to reduce. Have you ever successfully gotten your property taxes lowered?

Budget Lesson #7 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 4. Notice a pattern, yet?

Budget Lesson #8 – Here, completely out of order, is the reduction companion to lesson 1. Watch as I magically reduce–or rationalize–our discretionary budget.

So, dear readers, what part of budgeting should I address next?

Homeschooling for Free with Khan Academy

Business

If you are a parent who is planning to home school your children or if you are already involved in homeschooling and seeking additional resources, using Khan Academy online is highly recommended regardless of the type of material you are trying to teach or learn. Learning with Khan Academy is possible for students of all ages as well as individuals who are simply seeking new methods of learning without having to pay for the education.

What is Khan Academy?

Bug Report screenshot for Khan Academy (Photo credit: syvwlch)

Khan Academy is a free online resource for anyone interested in learning new material in a wide range of subjects. Whether you are a parent who is planning on homeschooling your children or if you simply have an avid interest in science, mathematics or even art history, using Khan Academy can ultimately give you the knowledge you need for any reason.

Khan Academy operates as a non-profit organization and offers all courses and materials absolutely free of charge. Using Khan Academy is ideal if you are actively seeking out new lesson plans for your own children but you are stumped for ideas and material yourself.

Courses Available From Khan Academy

When you sign up for Khan Academy you can immediately dive into various lessons depending on what you want to learn. Whether you are seeking out assignments in math, science, humanities or even economics and finance, there are plenty of courses in different areas of education. You can also learn all about computer programming and various levels of specific subjects based on whether you are teaching your children or looking to learn something new for yourself.

Why Learning Online From Home Works

Learning online from home is a way for you to incorporate well-developed lessons into your everyday homeschooling lesson plans at any time. When you choose to use an online community such as Khan Academy there are also no deadlines or restrictions on the lessons you want to teach or learn more about yourself.

You can also hand pick specific lessons to help with individualizing each one of your children’s educational outline and plans. Depending on the age of your children and their own interests you can choose from a variety of lessons for beginners and those seeking more advanced work.

Teaching your children new material with the use of the online Khan Academy is a way for you to ensure they are truly understanding the lessons before moving on. Additionally, using Khan Academy is ideal if you are seeking educational content that is sourced, referenced and completely free of charge. Khan Academy lessons and content is and always will be free as this is one of the main missions of the academy itself.

Knowing the benefits of using Khan Academy and how it can help you or your children grow educationally is a way to truly take advantage of the services and lessons being offered. Using Khan Academy when homeschooling brings expansive lessons into the home regardless of your own knowledge and areas of expertise when you begin to teach your children.

Ignore Your Budget

Finance

For the first year of our journey out of debt, we had a strict budget, with all of our discretionary money spent out of an envelope system. We had an envelope for groceries, one for discretionary spending, one for clothes and one for baby crap. At the beginning of the month, we’d divide the money into the envelopes according to our budget spreadsheet. If we used a card for anything, we’d take a matching about of money out of the appropriate envelope and put it in a box to get reconciled the next month.

Ugh. Almost 2 years later, it has turned into too much work and too much nagging about everything either of us put on a card.

We decided to simplify the system a few months ago. Now, we still have a budget. It’s even a zero-based budget, but we ignore it. We only look at it if something changes for the worse. If something changes for the better, the extra money just gets automatically rolled into our debt snowball, so there’s no need to worry about updating the spreadsheet.

Instead of envelopes, we kind of eyeball it. We budget $450 per month for groceries, so we aim to spend $100 on our weekly grocery run. That leaves some room for losing track of how much we are putting in the cart, or a last minute addition to the list. It also leaves room for our secondary grocery trip to buy bread and milk later in the week. We do go through a lot of milk at my house. We budget $55 per month for diapers, but the deal we are currently getting with Amazon Mom is only costing us $30.79 for 6 weeks of diapers. We ignore the difference.

This—and our heavily automated bill pay and savings—lets us keep our finances on track, without stressing over every dollar or fighting over every little thing that comes home unplanned. I used to fire up Quicken and balance the checkbook every week. Now, that happens at the beginning of the month, usually. If I forget, it doesn’t matter. At the beginning of February, I balanced the checkbook for the first time in almost two months and we never came close to exercising our overdraft protection account. In fact, we had some extra, so that got sent directly to our debt.

Overall, it’s been good to test out a new system. We have almost no financial stress and managing our money takes about a couple of hours per month instead of per week. It’s all win.

Dealing With the Police 101

Life

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 01: Shackles for slav... — (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

Last night, a friend called me up and asked me to accompany him to the police station. The police had knocked on his door, waking up his girlfriend while he was out. When he called, they wouldn’t tell him why they wanted to talk to him. Was it an ex trying to make his life difficult or one of his employees getting investigated?

This friend has had a number of interactions with the police, but never learned how to deal with them. Before we left, I gave him a crash course in “stay out of jail”.

Lesson 1: The Police Are Not Your Friends.

During an investigation, you are a suspect. They are looking for a conviction. There may be a “good cop” trying to “help you out”, but he is trying to put you in jail. “Protect and Serve” doesn’t mean you. In general, it means society as a whole. During an investigation, they are serving the interests of the prosecutor.

Generally, they are going to look at you–as the target of their investigation–as the enemy. This is normal. They spend all of their time dealing with scumbags and s***heads. Naturally, they start to assume that everyone who isn’t a cop will fall into one of those categories.

Don’t get pissed when they act rude, ignore you, or anything else. It isn’t a lack of professionalism, it’s just a different profession. They are using interrogation techniques that have been proven successful. Ignore it and focus on Lesson 2.

It will feel wrong to disobey the authority you’ve been taught your entire life to obey. You’re not. You are standing by your rights. Nobody cares about your future more than you do. Certainly not the guy investigating you.

Lesson 2: Your Lawyer is Your Friend.

The second a police interaction starts to look like they are investigating you, demand your lawyer, then see Lesson 4. When you demand an attorney, they stop asking you questions. You can take it back and start talking, so again, see Lesson 4. It’s your attorney’s job to talk to the police and, if necessary, the media. It’s your job to talk to your attorney.

You don’t need an attorney ahead of time. Criminal defense attorneys are used to getting calls at 3AM. It’s part of their job. If you have a low enough income as defined by whatever jurisdiction you are being investigated in, you can get a public defender. That’s better than nothing, but I’d prefer to hire a professional shark, even if it means mortgaging my future. Prison is a big gamble.

Lesson 3. Consent is Your Enemy.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

“Officer, I do not consent to any search and I would like to speak to my attorney.” Remember this. Memorize it.

They need probable cause, a warrant, or permission to search your stuff. Never agree to it. Don’t stop them if they search anyway, but never, ever agree to a search. If the search is done improperly, your lawyer(see Lesson 2) will get the results of that searched thrown out.

It isn’t possible to get into more trouble for standing by your rights. There is no crime on the books anywhere in the US called “Refused Consent to Search”. Your day will not go worse because you defended your Constitutional rights.

Lesson 4. Shut Up.

I know a few defense attorneys. According to them, most of the people in jail either committed a crime in front of a bunch of witnesses, or they talked their way into jail. Shut up. You’ll want to either justify or defend yourself depending on the circumstances. Don’t. Shut up. It may be one of the hardest things you ever do, but keep your mouth closed. The only thing worse than talking is lying. Don’t lie, just keep quiet.

There is nothing you are going to say that will make your interrogator invite you home for Christmas. He isn’t your friend, you won’t meet his parents, you aren’t going to his birthday party. There is absolutely no win in talking to him. Shut up. The answer to every question is “Lawyer.” If the only thing you ~~say~~ babble is “Lawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyerlawyer”, you’re probably not going to do too badly.

In your car, the dynamic changes a bit, but the principles don’t. When a cop pulls you over, don’t argue. You can’t win an argument with a cop on the side of the road. Be nice, be polite, and as soon as possible, pull into a parking lot and take as many notes about the encounter as you can. If you are planning to fight whatever he pulled you over for, don’t give him any reason to remember you or spin his official report to make you look bad. Again, shut up. Catching a theme?

Gambling With Your Future

If you are being investigated by the police, your future–or some part of it–is on the line. While you are gambling with your criminal record and your freedom, don’t forget that you are an amateur in this arena. The police, the prosecutor, and your attorney are the professionals and the stakes can be huge. Keep your mouth shut, call your attorney, and thank me later.

Horseback Riding Lessons

Finance, Parenting

For the past couple of years, my daughters have been riding in horse shows with a local saddle club. We’ve been lucky in that my wife’s cousin has let us borrow her horse for the shows, so costs have been minimal.

Unfortunately, that horse isn’t available this year. We knew that a few months ago, so the plan was to take a year off from the shows and focus on lessons, to get the girls some real skills. We found a great instructor at a stable about 30 miles from our house. Since we live less than two miles from the border of the biggest city in the state, that’s a comparatively short drive.

We pay her $200 per month for 1 lesson per week for both girls. They each get 30-45 minutes on the horse during each lesson.

Now that show season has started, the plan seems to have changed. The girls will be riding a different borrowed pony tomorrow. The shows cost about $50 for registration, lunch, and gas. Our club has 1 show per month, but my wife has assured me they’ll only be hitting three shows this season and limiting the number of events to keep the cost down.

The direct costs aren’t too bad, but there’s a problem with keeping-up-with-the-Joneses accessorizing. Vests and boots and helmets and belts and shirts, oh my.

I’d guess our costs for the summer will be $300 per month.

One thing we’ve been considering is buying a pony. We can get an older pony for around $500-1000. Older is good because they are calmer and slower. Boarding the thing will cost another $200 per month. We’ve been slowly accumulating the stuff to own a horse, so I’m guessing the “OMG, he let me buy a horse, now I need X” shopping bill will come to around $1500, but I’ll figure $2000 to be safe. We already have a trailer, a saddle, blankets, buddy-straps, combs, brushes, buckets, rakes, shovels, and I-bought-this-but-I-will-just-put-it-in-the-pile-of-horse-stuff-so-Jason-will-never-notice stuff. We’re certainly close to being ready to buy.

(FYI: If you’re starting from scratch, don’t think you’re going to get into horse ownership for less than $10,000 the first year, and that’s being a very efficient price-shopper.)

So we’re looking at $5400 for a horse, gear, and boarding the first year. If we cancel the lessons, by spring we’d have $2000 of that saved and most of the rest can be bought over time.

On the other hand, if we go that route, we’ll never save enough to buy the hobby farm we’re looking for.

Decisions, decisions. I should just buy a new motorcycle. Within a year, I win financially.

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