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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Sunday Roundup: Yep, It’s Saturday

Misc

funny road sign — Image by Sree_ via Flickr

Yes, it’s Saturday. Tomorrow, I’m hosting the Yakezie Carnival, so I bumped this up a day.

This week has been super relaxing. Wrestling season is over. We’re done with activities for a while.

30 Day Project Update

Last month, I was trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I recorded each session in a spreadsheet. I hit my goal on the 28th, 3 days early. Since then, I’ve cut down to just one session per day. I’m now doing 35 slow, deep push-ups every morning. It’s not a goal, or a challenge, just part of a general effort to be healthier.

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 41 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 1 pound since last week and 8 pounds in March, while doing an insane amount of push-ups and packing on a few pounds of muscle. Seriously, for the last couple of weeks, on the days I haven’t totally slacked off, I’ve been doing 500+ push-ups a day. That’s a lot.

Total Inches: I have lost 23 inches in the same time frame, up 1 inch since last week. That makes me sad, but it seems to be muscle growth, so it’s not too bad.

Best Posts

Mint shows how lazy employees are, on average. Surprisingly, only 2.09 hours are wasted in the average 8 hour day. The rule I’d heard before is that employers expect 2-3 good, solid hours of work our of their employees every day.

Money Crasher has some cheap appetizer recipes. I can’t wait to make the biscuit meatballs.

The Mars Rover died. Tragic.

Get Rich Slowly has a post on emergency preparedness. If I mentioned that I keep enough supplies in my car to live for a week, would that make me a survivalist or just a fun guy?

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

First, I examined the value of exchanging your time to save a bit of money.

Then, I talked about the futility of trying to force your spouse into frugality.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Filing Bankruptcy: Pride or Shame? was an Editor’s Pick in the Totally Money Blog Carnival at Debt Free Divas. Thank you!

Budgeting tips – sticking to your budget was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Saving Money: The Warranty Fund was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Sunday Roundup: The Giant Marketing Fail

Misc

When I was a kid, there were 44 cookies in a box of Thin Mints. Now? I’ve lost 16 cookies and that makes me sad.

When I was a kid, Girl Scouts went door-to-door selling cookies and freezing. Now? Coworkers bring in the cookies to sell.

When I was a kid, there was a 6 week wait in between ordering cookies and eating them, creating a fantastic urge built on anticipation. Now? They are right there.

Girl Scout cookies have been an undeniable success as a fundraiser. Entire generations have grown up waiting for that wonderful time of the year(February) when the little crack-hustlers come knocking on the door, trying to score some cash for their treats.

Remember the myth about drug dealers putting LSD on stickers and passing them out at elementary schools to hook children and make them addicts for life? That was actually based on the true story of Girl Scouts and Samoas/Carmel Delites. They came into our classrooms, plying their wares and hooked their classmates, a generation at a time.

Fast forward 20 years, and who are they marketing to? The established addicts. Now, it’s family, friends, and coworkers selling cookies, instead of the girls themselves addicting their classmates. Who’s going to buy the cookies in 30 years? Nobody. The addicts are going to be falling out of the market and their replacements will be imaginary. Really, who wants to buy half a box of cookies for $3.50 when the choice isn’t driven by nostalgia or addiction?

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet. I am currently up to 50 in a set and 145 in a session.

Weight Loss Update

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 36 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 1 pound since last week. I’m not surprised the rate of loss is down. I’m doing a lot of push-ups, almost 1500 in the last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 21 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week. Interesting tidbit: I’ve lost 7 inches off of my waist since I went on the diet.

Best Posts

Have you ever used a credit card‘s concierge service? Beats Google for some things.

Did you know that the TARP(Troubled Asset Relief Program/bank bailout administration) has its own armed police force? Don’t defraud TARP, or a SWAT team could come knocking on down your door.

From now on, any story I read that doesn’t involve psychotic tree rats will lose a few points on the Jason Scale of Awesomeness.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

I wrote a post about eliminating junk mail and spam phone calls. I still smile when I think about the section on guerrilla warfare.

There’s also a timeless post on avoiding identity theft.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Things to teach your kids about money was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

How to Deal with Debt While You’re Out of a Job was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Dreams

Finance, Life

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife has wanted to be a horse. Err, work with horses.

The problem is that most jobs working with horses pay horse-crap. It’s hard to raise a family on a stablehand’s income.

Her alternative was to own horses. This comes with a different set of problems. The biggest problem is that we live on 1/8 of an acre in a first-ring suburb. That’s not a lot of room to graze, though I would be willing to give up my spot in the garage.

I rock like that.

Boarding a horse costs a minimum of $200 per month. Two girls means two horses, otherwise, they won’t both be able to score in the saddle club. For the math challenged, that’s $400 per month, plus about $300 in preventative vet care per year.

$5100 for a year of boarding an extremely obsolete car.

Then, you need a trailer to get the horse to shows. You need saddles and reins and and short-legged stirrups and feedbags and muck-rakes and brushes and combs and hoof-cleaning-thingies and other stuff that will catch me by surprise for years to come.

Expensive.

My rough estimate is that it costs at least $10,000 to get into horse ownership, and that’s not counting the horse itself.

You can buy a horse for well under $1000 if you aren’t concerned about registration or speed. A 15 year old horse can last 10-15 more years, so it’s not money down the drain.

That’s $12,000 to get in and $5100 per year to stay in. Minimum.

Never let it be said that I’m not a pushover. Last month, we bought an SUV that can pull a horse trailer. Last weekend, we bought the trailer. That’s two major steps towards making my wife’s dreams come true. The rest of the plan culminates in a hobby farm in the sticks.

There are several steps in between.

I just need to put the brakes on every other step. We’ve been offered the free use of one pony next season, and we may be able to get another for the same price. Beyond that, we need to be patient. There will be no ponies purchased until the new truck and old mortgage are paid.

Period.

Sunday Roundup: Varsity Punk

Misc

I moved this roundup to Sunday to give myself a bit more time to track my weight-loss and push-up goals, since I weigh in on Saturdays. Yesterday, however was super busy. It was all good, but full.

Starting Friday: After work, I rushed my oldest to the B-squad wrestling tournament, where he took first place in his weight bracket. When I got home, I fell asleep almost immediately.

Saturday, we woke up and rushed to the varsity tournament. It was his first time wrestling varsity. Now, he wrestles for a youth league. Participants vary from 3rd to 8th grades. My son is 11, 5′ 7″, and 150 pounds. Guess who he wrestles? Almost exclusively eighth graders. He lost both of his matches, but he put in a great showing. He lasted a round and a half against the top-rated kid in his bracket and managed to get quite a few points.

After that, we rushed home, made dinner for some friends and went to a movie. Red Riding Hood is worth seeing. We got home at 1 and immediately fell asleep. This is the first time I’ve had the computer on at home since Thursday night, other than to check movie times and prices.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet. I am currently up to 91 in a set and 261 in a session, spread across 5 sets. I’m expecting to be down in my next session, since I’ve totally slacked off the few days.

Weight Loss Update

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 40 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 2 pound since last week. I’ve dropped 7 pounds in March, while doing an insane amount of push-ups and packing on a few pounds of muscle.

Total Inches: I have lost 24 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week. I’ve lost 7 inches each off of my waist and hips. It’s time to go clothes shopping, which sucks. I manage to avoid doing that for a year or more at a time, but now, my pants have stopped fitting. When I cinch my belt to where it actually fits, my jeans have pleats.

Best Posts

The recording industry has sued Limewire for damages totaling more than the economic value of…Earth.

Making money line is easier when you’re not bing conned. PT has a list of legit paying survey sites.

I’d love to raise chickens. It’s technically allowed in my city, but only with a permit that the city refuses to issue.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

I wrote Fall from Grace, a post about how and why I got into debt.

There was also a post on credit repair.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

You’re Gonna Die, Part 1 was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Getting Out of Debt: The Prime Rule as included in Carnival of Personal Finance.

Financial Pet Peeve: Fees To Receive Paper Bank Statements was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

Sunday Roundup: Reddit Rocks

Misc

Friday was my biggest traffic day, ever. Mike‘s guest post, Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, went slightly nuts on reddit. For a few hours, it was in the top 10 on the front page, generating more traffic every half hour than I normally see in a day. That was fun.

In other news, my kid is in the #2 slot for wrestling the heavyweight slot on his wrestling team.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 25 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 3 pounds since last week. 17 more to meet my goal for February.

Total Inches: I have lost 14 inches in the same time frame, down 2.5 since last week.

Best Posts

J. Money has launched an awesome new project called Love Drop. Once a month, they go make a huge difference in someone’s life. Wise Bread interviewed them yesterday.

Tip: Use the word “solved” in a google search to find the answers to tech problems.

If OMG and Awesome got drunk and made a baby with Optimus Prime, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cobra Commander’s nastiest fantasies, the offspring wouldn’t be this good. Holy crap. Major cheese alert.

Q. Why do some business lobby hard for excessive regulation in the name of protecting the environment or forcing people into decisions they disagree with, only to turn around and lobby for waivers to those regulations once they are passed? A. Because it’s not about the environment or health or giving-a-crap. It’s about the money. When an established company pushes for regulations, it’s to keep upstarts from entering the market. Regulations add barriers to entry. Anybody who’s trying to force you to do something for your own good has a product to sell to meet that “need”.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

Have you ever given any thought to the idea that debt is a social disease? It’s taboo, you usually didn’t do anything nice to get it, and it’s hard to get rid of.

In case I haven’t made it obnoxiously clear, I’m more than a bit of a geek. The post I wrote about D&D and personal finance should make it more obvious.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Medical Costs and Choices was included in the Festival of Frugality.

How to Save Money On Anything was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mike from http://savingmoneytoday.net presented Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, which is the post that went kinda nuts on reddit. He also hosted my post, Resisting Temptation.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader. I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook. Facebook gets more use than Google. It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter. This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!