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I’m not a bad father.

Last spring, we noticed my son had a wandering eye.  One of his eyes would just drift when he was looking at something.    It was happening consistently, so we brought him to the eye doctor.    After an exam, we found out that his eyes were 20/100.  The doctor said that getting him classes may be enough to fix the wandering eye problem.  The theory was that his eye was drifting because his eyes weren’t able to focus.   Bringing the world into focus could have let his eyes train themselves to work right.

Nine months with glasses later, the problem hasn’t gone away, so we went back to the eye doctor.

He’s got alternating exotropia.    His eyes aren’t working well together.  One eye will focus, and the other will drift. So now we’re looking into vision therapists.

A friend went through something similar with his kid, so I asked him for the name of the doctor he used.  He gave it to me and told me the clinic was the best in the business, and I would be paying for that.   I asked about the cost and was handed the doctor’s spiel about how sad it is that parents focus more on the cost of care than getting the best possible care.

What a load of crap.

First of all, that’s a sales pitch. Of course the doctor is going to defend his prices.  If his prices are exorbitant(I don’t have a basis for comparison) and he can’t defend them, people will go elsewhere.  $3000 isn’t pocket change.  That’s a significant chunk of change.  Refusing to look at your options is irresponsible.

Second, price does not equal quality.   There are a ton of things that are overpriced garbage.   Not only do scam artists abound, but some legitimate  things are are horribly overpriced at one location and reasonably priced at others.  To stay on the vision theme, my $10 glasses are every bit as high quality as any $400 pair I’ve ever owned.   The difference between generic and brand-name drugs?  The label and the price.   The FDA requires they be chemically identical to be sold.    If you insist on the brand name because it’s “better”, you are flushing your money down the toilet.  If you live by “you get what you pay for” you are guaranteed to get ripped off.

Third, balancing cost and treatment doesn’t mean I care less.   Yes, I am killing my debt as fast as I can right now.  Even when I was willing to use a credit card, I wouldn’t drop $3000 without considering my options. I have an entire family to consider, not one problem that my kid doesn’t even notice.  Grr.  I hate getting told–implicitly or otherwise–that I am a bad parent because I don’t choose to waste my money the way other people do.    I’ll check out my options first, thank you.

Now, I will pay for the best when it is warranted.    My wife wants Lasik and mentioned some sale some company was having.   No.  The guy sticking a laser and a scalpel in my eye will not be the lowest bidder.   When I left the gene pool, I went to one of the top guys in the state for the procedure.   When those things screw up, it’s permanent.

Vision therapy?  Not so much.  If it comes to surgery, we’ll go with the best.   But it’s not there, yet.  My kid is going to get a series of eye exercises, no matter where we go.  Even if I go to some back alley vision therapist with a degree from a Nigeria U, what’s the worst case scenario?  We may have to try someone else.    Since I will be doing a bit more research than that, odds are better that my kid will get exactly the same therapy regimen for 1/4 of the cost.   That’s the difference between a perfectly competent doctor and a perfectly competent doctor who convinced some trade magazine to write him up as the best in the business.

What do you think?  Am I neglecting my kid by wanting to save some money for his braces, too?