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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Sunday Roundup: U2 Edition

Misc

Friday night, a friend came to pick me up so I could help him move heavy stuff.

: U2 Stage

He lied.

As soon as we pulled away from my house, he told me we were going to check out the stage they were building for Saturday’s U2 concert. Now, I’ve never been a fan, but he is, so what the heck, right?

We got to TCF Stadium and geez, that stage is big. It looks like an invading alien in the middle of the field. As we were walking up to the gate, we saw two security guards catching a smoke by a rear entrance. The next thing I know, my buddy’s slipping them some cash and we’re sneaking in the side door to get a closer look.

Our illicit visit lasted about 5 minutes. The second we made it the the stands, the cleaning crew called security. Thankfully, we got kicked out by the guys who let us in to start with.

It made a memorable evening.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Making Extra Money: Niche Selection was included in the Best of Money Carnival and the Carnival of Wealth.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

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Where the hell have I been?

Finance

For the last year or so, I haven’t been writing much, which feels weird. I used to write three timer per week. I’d write about saving money, investing, frugality, sometimes, relationships and parenting.

But that stopped. Why?

When I started this site, I was about $110,000 in debt, and just starting my journey out of it. A few months before, I was looking into bankruptcy, because I didn’t know how to get out of debt.

For years, the ways I saved money, cut corners, and earned extra money was fodder for this site. Everything I did was about saving money, earning money, and paying off debt.

Now? I’m about 2 months away from being completely debt-free. I paid my mortgage off last month, and have about $10,000 in credit card debt at the moment. I know, I paid that off backwards, but there are reasons. Reasons I’ll share another time.

4 years ago, I was essentially working 4 jobs. My day job, my gun training business, my internet marketing business, and my websites(including this one). I was working all of the time. It was necessary, but it’s a path to burnout. Then, I changed jobs a couple of times, nearly doubling my day job’s pay. My business partner got promoted out of a position that generated leads for one of our businesses, then had an accident that the other shared business on hold for a while.

Suddenly, I had free time and enough money coming in that I didn’t need to work all of the time. It was a crazy place to be after spending more than a decade pretending to be a workaholic just to keep my head above water. (Here’s a secret: I’m incredibly lazy. I’m just the busiest lazy man I know.) So I started pursuing hobbies.

Linda and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons and are nearly to the point that competing is a real possibility.

I cleaned out my garage and assembled a decent wood shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do roughly forever.

I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my teenage son.

I’ve been playing games with my kids, dating my wife, and simply enjoying my life.

This site?

Through all of that, I haven’t known what to write about.

“Dear audience, this month, I paid my bills, didn’t go on vacation, and bought a drill press.”

“Dear audience, my debt went down another $500 this month.”

“Dear audience, I didn’t buy a car I can’t afford this month. Again.”

Those aren’t good articles. Financially–while paying off debt is disturbingly exciting–my life is very repetitive. That’s the hardest part about paying off a lot of debt. It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s boring. My wins have been spaced out by several years lately, and I haven’t been creatively frugal. Screw frugal. If you can afford some conveniences and luxuries, frugal sucks.

Anything new happening in my world that would apply to this site would make it read like an accountant’s ledger book. $100,000 minus $1500 plus $10,000 minus $300, ad nauseum.

Instead of inflicting boring accountancy on you, I’ve been absent.

What next? Who knows. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing here. I’ve started writing a novel.

What would you like to see here?

Working My Life Away

Finance, Life

Since J. and Crystalare playing, and I don’t have a post scheduled for today, I thought I’d share my work history, too.

There are a couple of interesting things about my work history. Job #1 started when I was 6. Job #9 started when I was 21. I’m 33 now.

Paper route. I delivered the local ad-rag. The route was split with my brothers. When I was 6, my share of the route was just the street we lived on. I think I had 8 papers to deliver. Later, that expanded to almost half of our tiny town.
Odd farm jobs. I spent some time doing whatever needed to be done on a local hobby farm. That means everything from helping shore up a sagging wall in the barn to raking walnuts off of the yard.
Dishwasher at my school. My freshman year, I gave up a study hall to wash dishes and serve lunch. My school was K-12, so I’d eat at the same time as the little kids, then wash their dishes and serve lunch to the rest of the students for $4.25/hour. I kept at it until my senior year, when I decided to relax a bit.
Construction. Working with my Dad, until I fell off a ladder and severed a tendon in my finger when I landed. Easily the most difficult boss I’ve ever had, but it was excellent preparation for every other job I’ve ever had. His philosophy was that if he had to ask for it, I should have already known he needed it. Try carrying that training into another job and see if they complain.
Dishwasher/Cook. I turned 16 and needed a job to afford a car that I needed to get a job. Nasty cycle. It took a couple of weeks of looking. Apparently, if a teenager puts on a nice shirt and shows up to the interview on time, he is way ahead of the curve. It took about 2 months to go from dishwasher to cook, and I kept the job until I was 18. I was working full-time all through high school.
Palletizer. I spent 9 months standing at the end of a conveyor belt, picking up 50 pound bags of food powder mixes, taking 3 steps, and putting them on a pallet. We averaged 1500 bags per night. Fifteen years later, I still can’t comfortably button the cuffs of most shirts. When I flex, my forearms look like I have an unhealty “adult” internet addiction.
Cook. While I was palletizing, I had a second job as a cook at a bar, working for a guy who was trying to avoid turning a profit by drinking his main product. This was 5 miles from the other job, and my car died right after I started, so I biked from job to job. In Minnesota. In the winter. I was a lean, mean popsicle.
Machine Operator. I moved from the sticks to the Minneapolis area and was immediately hired to be run a CNC machine based on a friend’s recommendation to his boss. The pay was great for an 18 year old with no skills. I worked 5 twelve-hour graveyard shifts. The job mostly consisted of putting a little chunk of metal into a machine, closing the door, pushing a button, and sitting down for 15 minutes. This is the period of my life that trained me to shop for books based primarily on thickness.
Bill Collector/System Administrator. After Brat #1 was born, 12 hour graves got to be a big pain. I’d work from 5 to 5, come home and make sure my wife got at least 4 hours of sleep, then I’d sleep for 4-5 hours and go back to work. Brat #1(who is now 13 and about 6 feet tall) needed to be fed every hour, so solid sleep didn’t happen for months. I took a pay cut to work normal, day-shift hours. I ended up working my way through college by collecting on defaulted student loans. Shortly after I graduated, I got promoted to be the system administrator of the collection system, responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars of debts flowing into and through our system correctly. I had a security clearance allowing me access to the Department of Treasury’s computer system. After a few years of this, the company decided that there were too many people with the same job description, so 5 overworked admins got laid off while the 6th got screwed with far too much work.
Software Engineer. This is now. I write cataloging and ecommerce software, while managing a small team of programmers. I spend half of my day working on customer software estimates, training, and assisting on sales demos and half of my day writing code. I’m kind of a big deal.

That’s it, if I don’t count my side hustles. I’ve been earning a paycheck for 27 years, and have only had 10 jobs.

When did you start working? How many jobs have you had?

Christmas for the Destitute

Finance, Parenting

First, my disclaimer: I’m not destitute.

However, I’m trying to spend Christmas acting like I am a pauper.

Why, with small children and beautiful-and-more-than-deserving wife, would I want to deprive my family of a bountiful holiday?

Before we get into the reasons for being a horrible grinch bent on depriving my children of their god-given right to rampant consumerism, let’s look at the Philosophy of Destitution.

The primary reason to pull back and tone it down is basic frugality. Excessive anything is not frugal. I am training my children–and for that matter, my wife and my self–in the finer arts of personal responsibility and frugality. Accumulating debt for a fleeting holiday is insane. If we can’t afford to buy it, we certainly can’t afford to give it. Anything else would be setting a bad example and children learn best by example.

Another piece of the Philosophy of Destitution(when I read this word, I hear a deep, booming voice in my head, like a 30s radio superhero voiceover) is “green”. I consider myself a conservationalist rather than an environmentalist, so don’t read too much into that color. I try to be responsible, instead of destructive and I try to avoid being wasteful. Toys that won’t be played with are wasteful. A garbage can full of packaging for those same toys costs money. It is much cheaper to avoid the landfill here.

Back to “Why”. Why would I be willing to deprive my family?

It’s Better to Buy a House than Rent

Finance

This guest post is brought to you by Lender411.com.

The debate is ongoing about whether it’s better to rent a home or buy one. Which is best?

To start, identify your goals. This includes short-term goals and long-term goals—anything relevant to your living situation or your finances. Are you someone who likes to move around and explore new areas, or have you put down strong roots in a specific location? Are you planning to raise a family? Is that family going to grow over the years? Do you plan to build up wealth? Are you aiming to retire a few years early? Work these things out as best you can. You need to know where you’re headed.

Beyond these life considerations, there are some specific facts about homeownership that typically make buying a house a better choice than renting one indefinitely. Specifically, you’ll save money in the long run if you buy a house. Studies have shown that if you plan to remain in a residence longer than five years, you’re better off buying than renting. Here’s why.

Equity. When you own a house, every dollar you put toward paying off the principal of your mortgage is actually going right back to your pocket in the long run. A house itself is an investment—it is a thing that holds value and, in fact, often gains value over time. It’s almost like a savings account. When you put money into a savings account, it stays there. Sure, you don’t exactly have access to the money, but it’s still there and, in the long run, it’s still yours. You don’t gain this value when you’re renting a piece of property. The money you pay out is simply gone.

Value. As mentioned above, a house, like any other financial instrument or investment, can actually increase in value over time without any effort on your part. Sometime property values just go up. Historically, in fact, just about all property gains value in the long run—often significant value. Real estate is a very popular form of investment even separate from the fact that it provides your family with a place to live. Even with a mortgage, the ultimate return you can get for your money is typically very good, especially if you’re able to find the best mortgage rates when you enter the loan. Renting doesn’t give you this opportunity to someday capture increasing property value.

Stability. One of the most appealing perks of home ownership is the consistency of payments month to month. If you have a fixed rate mortgage, your monthly payment is locked in at a certain amount for the next thirty years or so. This can be extremely comforting for some people and extremely helpful when it comes to budgeting long-term. When renting, prices may fluctuate from lease to lease, or you may move from one place to another and constantly have to readjust your budget and lifestyle. Also, mortgage payments on a house will, at some point, end. When those thirty years are up, chances are you won’t need to make any payments toward your house beyond property taxes from then on. Renting, however, never ends. You’ll never truly have a place of your own.

Despite the strength of these three facts in favor of home ownership over renting, the choice is ultimately one that must be made by individuals and families. Everyone has different long-term goals, and those goals must be identified first. But make the decision wisely. From a financial perspective, home ownership is the better of the two options long-term.

Update: I just realized I didn’t include the link to the Festival of Frugality that included this post. That’s fixed.