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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Saturday Roundup – Dirty Beggar Edition

Misc

Ninjas killed my father
Image by Chris Pirillo via Flickr

I have a favor to ask.  Free Money Finance is running his annual March Money Madness blog contest.   Please drop by and vote for me. Just comment with “Game 6: Bags”.  Thank you!

Starting next week, my roundups will be happening on Sunday.   I weigh in on Saturday, and that just makes me feel rushed on Saturday mornings.

Free Money Tip

INGDirect is having a sweet promotion.  Open a checking account, use it three times in 45 days, and get $50 free.  Free money is the best kind.  I love my ING account and keep all of my savings there.  If you don’t have an account there, yet, now is a great time to open one.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit.   At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing.   For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms.   My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils).    There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism.   The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind.  There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs.   Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 20 pounds since January 2nd.   That’s 3 pounds since last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 10 inches in the same time frame, down 1 since last week.

That is kind of a disappointing week, after losing 17 pounds in the two previous weeks.  Still, it’s progress.   Should I blame it on getting sloppy with the supplements and timed exercise, which aren’t(technically) necessary, the vagaries of losing weight, or the fact that I(gasp) had some feta cheese on a salad yesterday(Dairy is out, but I didn’t recognize it until it was too late and I was happy.)?   I’ll go with B.  Weight loss is never completely consistent.

Best Posts

If some puny little constellation can mess up our zodiac signs, what will a second sun do?

Everyday Tips and Thoughts ran a post on cell phone etiquette.  I agree wholeheartedly with the bathroom talkers.  I’m in there trying to concentrate, and you’re yammering to your bank, or your girlfriend?  Expect me to flush every 2 minutes.

Important question: what caliber for land shark?

Do you juggle too much?   Project Happily Ever After explains the difference between balls that bounce and balls that break.

Buy Like Buffet is giving away an iPad.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.

I wrote a post about saving money on health care.  It’s still a good post, but the HSA/FSA rules have changed.  Now, you need a  prescription to stock up on OTC meds at the end of the year to spend out your account.

When you buy something, do you ask yourself if you really need it? I wrote a post to help answer that question.

I also posted lesson 4 of my budget series.  This is where I go over my “set aside” funds, the money for bills that are not regular or for set amounts.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

5 Things to Do in the New Year was included in Crystal’s rockin’ Totally Money Carnival.  I’ll be hosting it in a couple of weeks.

Quit Smoking: My First Frugal Move…Ever was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

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Sunday Roundup: 30 Day Project, January Wrap-Up

Misc

Baen Books logo.
Image via Wikipedia

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit.   At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing.   For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms.   My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils).    There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism.   The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind.  There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs.   Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 22 pounds since January 2nd.   That’s 2 pounds since last week.

Total Inches: I have lost 11.5 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 since last week.

I’m sad.  I’m only down 2 more pounds this week.  On the other hand, I’m averaging almost a pound a day without exercising.    I’m on a new belt loop and I’ve actually lost a ring size.  I’m going to keep this up for another month.   That’s the beautiful thing about 30 Day Projects: A month isn’t an intimidating length of time.      My goal for next month is to drop another 20 pounds.

That said, this is a pretty easy diet to follow.  If I get a hankering for a candy bar on Wednesday, it’s far easier to tell myself to wait 3 days than it is to tell myself that it will never happen.  Moderation has never been my strong suit.  It’s far easier for me to set some solid rules that give me a built-in outlet.

Best Posts

Do you really want to tie yourself down for the next 30 years.   Sandy doesn’t, and I agree.  30 year mortgages suck.

Trent lists seven common bills and ways to save on each.

Free From Broke ran a guest post from Melissa on how–and why–to freeze your credit.

Larry Correia’s new book, Hard Magic, is available as an Early Advanced Read Copy from Baen Books.  That means you can read the book before it is published.  It’s not quite as polished as the final, but still quite good.  I’ve read the first 7 chapters and am looking forward to reading the final version.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.

In Make Yourself Accountable, I list several ways to achieve your goals, primarily by getting other people involved, either to talk you down or to participate in your public humiliation if you fail.

In 6 Questions, I reveal the details of how I manage my finances.  The only one that has changed in the last year is #1.  We have moved back to our debit card now that we’ve established better habits.

I also wrote a post about preparing your children to deal with their finances.  The most important one is to teach delayed gratification.   Yesterday, my son finally had enough money to buy himself a PSP, after saving for it for months.   He earned it and he is incredibly thrilled to have it.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

What Happens When You Save was an Editor’s Pick at the Totally Money Carnival.  Thank you, Crystal!

5 Steps to Save was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

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Sunday Roundup – Nook Failure

Misc

The manga section at Barnes & Noble at The Sho...
Image via Wikipedia

This week, I spent more than 2 hours, 20 emails, and 30 miles trying to convince UPS and Barnes & Noble to get me a Nook that I paid for 3 weeks ago.   Hopefully, I’ll have it early this week.  If not, I’m giving up.  The only other action I’m willing to take to get this resolved is to call my credit card company and file a chargeback.

Fun!

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet.   At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing.   For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms.   My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils).    There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism.   The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind.  There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs.   Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 41 pounds since January 2nd.   That’s no progress since last week.   I’m still doing push-ups every day, so it’s not surprising that I’m flunking weight loss.

Total Inches: I have lost  22.5 inches in the same time frame, up half an inch since last week.

Best Posts

Five Cent Nickel had a post on tipping.  I always tip, but I don’t consider 15% to be a requirement.  If the service sucks, I tip just a few cents.  If the service is great, I easily and always clear 20%.  A friend tried telling me that servers expect 20% to be standard, but that’s nuts.  They aren’t the people who get to make that decision.

Money Crashers talked about traveling for free.  In anticipation of the Financial Blogger Conference in October, I opened a travel rewards card.  I’m hoping to make the trip for free.

I watched a TedTalk yesterday about teaching kids about electricity with homemade play-dough.   This is a project that will be happening.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Narrow Bridge Finance ran my post, Monsters, while I ran his, Living the High Life, for the Yakezie blog swap, answering the question “What motivates you financially?”

Negotiating Superstar was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

 

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How Much Should You Tip?

Finance

Image by cemre via Flickr

This post from CNN Money has been making the rounds. I’m getting into the game today.

With the holiday season upon us, tipping the people you work with is a tradition in some cases and actually expected in others. Here’s what CNN came up with and my take:

  • Housekeeper. We don’t have one. I’d think $75-100 would make a nice tip/Christmas bonus. I seem to be more generous than average with my imaginary maid. Maybe that’s because of the outfits she wears.
  • Gardener. Once again, we don’t have one. Even if we did, I live in Minnesota and have close to a foot of snow over the patch of weeds I call my garden. If I did have a gardener, I wouldn’t have seen him for a few months by now, anyway. $0!
  • Mail carrier. I’ve only met my mail man a dozen times and I’ve never considered giving him a Christmas present.  Do people really do that?
  • Barber. I don’t have one any more.   My wife has started doing my hair for me.  When I did, I tipped about 25%, but again, I wouldn’t think about a Christmas present.   I only saw him quarterly.   I don’t think my wife has a regular stylist either.  She’s just got a shop she goes to and gets whoever is available.  Is there holiday tipping protocol for that?
  • Garbage collector. No way.  Really?   I don’t know that I’ve seen the same guy twice.  Am I supposed to give a present to the anonymous, interchangeable union guy that drives past my house every Friday?
  • Newspaper carrier. One night, twelve years ago, while my wife was still working graveyard shifts, she had a hard time sleeping on her nights off.  That’s natural for 3rd shift workers.   At about 4AM, she was watching TV and saw someone run past the window.   Scared, she came to wake me up.  I handed her the phone to call the police, while I grabbed the only thing I had for self-defense and went to investigate.   I ran out on the front step–in my boxers, carrying a sword–and saw someone lurking in the neighbor’s yard across the street.   I yelled, “Y0u don’t belong here!” only to hear “I’m delivering the paper!” That’s when I start tipping the newspaper carrier. I stopped when we canceled our subscription a few years later.   Who needs a dead tree in the morning, when there are a million news sites on the internet?

If the majority of people are giving Christmas bonuses to that many people, and are as generous as the article suggests, then I fall far to the loutish end of the bell curve. I am planning to give my virtual assistant 1/12 of the pay he’s earned this year, so that should make up for some of it, but that is an ongoing business relationship.

How do you compare when it comes to holiday tipping?

Saturday Roundup: Winter Wonderland

Misc

Today, I am planning to be on the receiving end of a foot of snow coming in at 30 miles per hour. Tomorrow, when it’s time to clean all that crap out, it will be 30 degrees below zero. Fun!

The drawing for a $100 Amazon gift card is still going on!   Go here for details.  It ends on the 15th, so you have 4 more days.

Best Posts

Santa’s got a new phone number!   It plays a simple message when you call it, but it’s an easy way to make a little kids smile.

How many days of your life did that that new gadget cost you?

Go watch Crystal get all survivalist and stuff.  Have you ever though about what would happen if the world as you knew it ended?  Even for a few days, say, after a hurricane hit?

It’s great to live in the future.  I can’t wait to hit Lunar Starbucks.

LRN Timewarp

For those unfortunate enough to not have been tuned in since the beginning, I’m going to spend some time reviewing posts from a year ago.

In How to Have a Perfect Life, I layout the planning necessary to live a life you don’t regret on your deathbed.   Just take the first step.

Babies are Expensive is one of my most-visited posts to date, and was my first carnival submission, and my first editor’s pick for that submission.  The truth is, babies are expensive, but they don’t have to break the bank.

Don’t Screw Future-You was a fun post to write.  What would the you from 20 years in the future have to say to you?

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Consumer Action Handbook was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mistakes Made was included in the Carnival of Money Stories.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.