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Funeral Costs: How to Keep it Inexpensive, Without Being Cheap

MIAMI - JANUARY 24:  A pallbearer for Poitier ...
Image by Getty Images via @daylife

The average funeral costs $6500.    Many people die with absolutely no savings.   Even if there is life insurance, it takes weeks to get the money, while a funeral is completed within a week.

Funeral homes have an easy sales pitch.  Nobody wants to sully the memory of their loved ones.   The tiniest hint of a guilt trip will have most families upgrading to the silk pillow in a second.   Here’s a secret: Your loved one doesn’t care.  I’m not recommending using garbage bags and a dumpster.   By all means, treat your loved ones with care, but don’t go overboard.

Not everyone is comfortable with cremation, and some religions don’t permit it, but it is probably the least expensive way to process a body.   It costs approximately $1400 to cremate a body and you can get very attractive urns for under $100.  Compare that to a $3500 casket and storage & transportation fees, and–from a strictly monetary standpoint–the choice is clear.

Don’t worry too much about decorating.   Flowers aren’t cheap and florists don’t tend to offer discounts to people who aren’t emotionally prepared to negotiate and who are in a time crunch to find the flowers they need.   Get a few bouquets for a small display around the casket or urn, and let the rest take care of itself.   Many of the guests will bring flowers, so the entrance will soon be decorated for free, and that’s the part that makes the first impression.

Shopping online can save you a lot of money on an urn.  Funeral homes will try to sell you a $500 urn, which may include a 1000% markup.    If you buy online, you will have to pay for overnight shipping, but that’s a small cost compared to the standard markup.  You can also find a huge discount on attractive caskets by shopping outside of the funeral home.   Federal law prohibits funeral homes from requiring that you buy a casket from them or charging you a fee for getting one elsewhere.
This may be the most ghoulish part of this article, but you can dig the grave yourself.   It’s probably not worth it for a full-size casket, but for an urn, you can save hundreds of dollars.   An urn generally only needs to be buried 18 inches deep, as opposed to the 6 feet required for caskets.  Just be sure to check with the cemetery and get the burial location right.  If you think it’s ghoulish to dig the grave, just picture digging it up.  Not fun.
Planning a funeral is never enjoyable, and it’s often expensive.  Nothing you do will make it fun, but it is possible to make it affordable.
Have you had to coordinate a funeral?  Did you take the funeral director’s recommendations, or did you cut some costs?

 

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Unlicensed Health “Insurance”

Gibraltar monkey
Image by Salim Virji via Flickr

Health insurance is–without a doubt–expensive.

As much as I hate the idea of socialized health care, it does have one shiny selling point to counter its absolute immorality: it’s cheap.  Assuming, of course, you ignore the higher taxes and skewed supply/demand balance.

Here in the US, we’re free from that burdensome contrivance.  Instead, we have health care and health insurance industries that are heavily regulated and ultimately run by people who have A) never held a job outside of government or academia, and B) have no idea how to run either a hospital or a business.  That works so much better.    Some days, I think our health system would be better run by giving syringes and band-aids to drunken monkeys.   The high-level decision making wouldn’t be worse.

Thanks to that mess and the high unemployment rate that somehow hasn’t been remedied by the 27 bazillion imaginary jobs that have been save or created in the last 2 years, some people are hurting.    Not the poor.  We have so many “safety net” programs that the poor are covered.  I’m talking about the “too rich to be considered poor, but too poor to be comfortable”, the middle class.

If are much above the poverty line, you will stop qualifying for some of the affordable programs.  The higher above the line you go, the less you qualify for.  That makes sense, but the fact that we have so many safety net programs means there is a lot of demand created by all of the people who are getting their health care “free”.

That drives the prices up for the people who actually have to pay for their own care.  Yes, even if you have an employer-sponsored plan, you are paying for the health insurance.   That insurance is a benefit that is a part of your total compensation.  If employers weren’t paying that, they could afford higher wages.

As the price goes up, employers are moving to a high-deductible plans, which puts a squeeze on the employees’ budgets.   Employees–you and I, the people who actually have to pay these bills–are looking for ways to save money on the care, so they can actually afford to see a doctor.

In response to that squeeze, some unscrupulous people(#$%#@%! scammers) are capitalizing on the financial pain and selling “health discount plans” which promise extensive discounts for a cheap membership fee.   These plans are not insurance.   In a best-case scenario, the discount plans will get you a small discount from a tiny network of doctors and clinics.  Prescription drug plans are no better.  You may get a 60% discount, but only if you use a back-alley pharmacy in Nome, Alaska between the hours of 8 AM and 8:15 AM on January 32nd of odd leap years.

How can you tell it’s a scam?

The scammers will try to sell you on false scarcity. They’ll say the plan is filling up fast and you have to buy now if you want to get in on it.   For all major purchases, if you aren’t going to be allowed time to research your options, assume it’s a scam.  Good deals won’t evaporate.

They aren’t licensed. Call the Department of Commerce for your state and see if the company is a licensed insurance provider.  Pro tip: they aren’t.

They don’t want you to read the plan until after you’ve paid.   That’s a flashing, screaming, electro-shock warning sign for anything.  Once you’ve given them your money, your options are reduced.

The price is amazingly low.  Of course it is.  They aren’t actually providing any services, so their overhead is nonexistent.  They only have to pay for gas to get to the bank to cash your checks.

Really, the best way to judge if something is a scam is to go with your gut. Does it feel like a scam?  Do you feel like you’re getting away with something? Does it sound too good to be true?

To recap: health care/prescription discount plans = bad juju.

 

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Insurance

On Tuesday, a potential customer took my business partner and I out for sushi.

English: Western Sushi found at Wegmans Superm...
Image via Wikipedia

The sushi bar was fun.  There was a little canal going around the bar.  The canal had little boats.  The boats had little plates.  The plates had sushi.   Lots and lots of sushi.  When you wanted something, you just reached out and took it.

Yum.

My only complaint with the place is the width of the chairs.  If you’re going to use narrow chairs, you really shouldn’t choose chairs with armrests.

Between the narrow chairs, the armrests, and my fat butt, my cell phone got knocked off of my belt.

Crap.

I normally check my money clip, car keys, pocket knife, and cell phone every time I stand up, but didn’t this time.

I noticed it was missing 15 miles later.

Of course, when I called, no one answered my phone.

The restaurant hadn’t seen my phone.

When we went back to retrace our steps, my phone was nowhere to be found.   Some busboy got a nice tip that night.

Now, I don’t carry insurance on my cell phone.  I still have every cell phone I’ve ever owned, in working condition.  Well, minus one, now.  At $5/month, that has saved me more than $1000 over the years.

Of course, it’s a bit painful this week.

Thankfully, I sock a bit of money away every month to cover things that break.  It’s my warranty fund.   That, combined with a good(hopefully) find on eBay, means that losing my phone, while irritating, isn’t going to break my budget.   It won’t actually touch my budget in any way.

On a side note, a parking ramp with a flat, “all night” charge and a lost ticket fee makes me angry.

 

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Consolidating Student Loans

This is a guest post.
If you owe on multiple student loans, you may have heard of or are considering consolidating your student loan debt. Whether you are fresh out of college or struggling with making multiple student loan payments, consolidating your debt can relieve you of that burden in exchange for one manageable monthly payment.

What is Student Loan Consolidation?

Student loan consolidation is one personal loan big enough to cover the amount owed on multiple student loans. The loan amount you receive is used to pay off the other student loans which leave you with a single monthly payment to make. You can consolidate all federal student loans with a debt consolidation program through the US Department of Education. Although FFELP, or Federal Family Education Loan Program, no longer offers debt consolidation, you can still be eligible through the US Department of Education. You may also still qualify for the federal student loan consolidation program even if your college does not participate in the Direct Loan Program. Many private lenders also offer student loan consolidation options as well.

Eligibility Requirements for Student Loans

You may be eligible to consolidate student loans if you are enrolled at part time status or less or if you are no longer in school. You would also be considered eligible by most lenders if you are within the loan’s grace period or are currently paying on your loans. You should also have your loans in good standing and have at least $5,000 owed in student loans. Each loan consolidation lender may have their own eligibility requirements, so it is best to check with the specific ones you are considering.

The Benefits of Loan Consolidation

There are numerous potential benefits to consolidating student loans including streamlining multiple payments into one affordable monthly payment. You may have multiple due dates on loans and you may be struggling to remember which one is due on which date. Streamlining your student loans is simpler and easier to remember, it also allows you better control over your budget.

Another benefit of choosing to consolidate student loans is extending the repayment terms. Many student consolidation loans can be obtained as long-term debt. Although it will require you to pay your loan for a longer time period, it does reduce the amount paid each month into a more affordable payment.

You will also pay a lower interest rate with a consolidated loan. The interest rate is determined by weighing all the interest on your loans and finding the average rate. You may have variable interest rates on your student loans and consolidating them can give you a fixed rate which is highly advisable given the uncertainty of the US economy.

A lowered interest rate and a longer repayment term mean a lower monthly payment than what you were currently paying on multiple loans. A smaller monthly payment leaves more money in your pocket at the end of the month and allows you to use that money elsewhere.

The Disadvantage of Debt Consolidation

It is important to be aware of all aspects of a student debt consolidation loan in order to make the best and most informed decision. There are some drawbacks to consolidating debt including having a higher repayment term which means you, in the end, will be paying more than if you paid it off sooner. You will also end up paying more in interest on a long-term loan than a short-term as less of the monthly payment is applied to the principle. You may also have to pay prepayment penalties depending on your original student loan terms. There are some student loans that prohibit paying them in one lump sum or ahead of the schedule without incurring a monetary penalty. You may also be required to repay any waived fees or rebates. Check your current student loan contracts to find out if you may be penalized for paying off the debt through a consolidation program.

Unfortunately, there are countless fraudulent and unscrupulous lenders trying to talk you into consolidating your student loans with enticing introductory rates or temptingly low monthly payments. However, it is essential to read all the small print before signing any contract in order to avoid the numerous scams out there. You should be wary of any lender that is promising really low interest rates. You can determine your potential interest rate by compiling all the student loans, adding their interest rate and determine the average. You may have to round up to the nearest one-eighth of a percentage. Beware a lender that promises an interest rate significantly lower than that interest rate.

Let me check….

A few days ago, I asked a coworker if she wanted to go out for lunch.  She said she’d have to check her bank account before she decided.

What?

If you have to check your bank balance to know if you can afford something, you can’t afford it.   It really is that simple.

Now, strict budgets aren’t for everyone, but everyone should know how much money they have available to spend.   If you don’t know what you have to spare, you need to set up a budget.

Period.

After you’ve done that, you can ignore it, with the exception of knowing how much you have available to blow on groceries, entertainment, and other discretionary purchases.

If you don’t know where your money needs to go, how can you determine how much you can spend on the things you want?