- I miss electricity. #
- @prosperousfool Do you still need a dropbox referral? in reply to prosperousfool #
- @prosperousfool Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTE1Mjk2OTU5 in reply to prosperousfool #
- Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: Electricity is the bee's knees, the wasp's nipples and lots of other insect erogenous zones. #
- @prosperousfool Throw in a Truecrypt partition and the PortableApps launcher and it gets really neat. in reply to prosperousfool #
- @prosperousfool Universal accessibility. I put an encrypted partition on it so any receipts or credit card info or login info would be safe in reply to prosperousfool #
- RT @untemplater: RT @jenny_blake: Deep thought of the day: "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." -Wayne Dyer #quote #
- @FARNOOSH So what's happening to the one good show on SOAPNet? in reply to FARNOOSH #
- RT @flexo: RT @mainstr: 1 million Americans have been swindled in an elaborate credit card scam and they may not know http://bit.ly/cr8DNK #
Deathbed Regrets
A friend recently pointed me to an article written by a hospice nurse. This nurse spent her career working with people who were dying, beyond recovery, and aware of it. Her job, primarily, was to provide comfort, whether that be physical or emotional.
During her conversations, she found several themes when her patients discussed their regrets and she lists the 5 most common regrets in her article.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I don’t see this one being an issue for me. While I did buy in to a standard life template (college, wife, kids, suburbs, office, etc.), I am me. I am undeniably me.
I’d be delusional to think that I wasn’t a bit…different. I see things differently than a lot of other people, I react differently, and I’m vocal about it. That sometimes makes it hard to get close to me. I doubt anyone who is close to me would argue with that.
I also tend to do things. Most people talk about doing things, I try to make them happen. “I wish I were out of debt”, “Honey, I want to start a business”, “Let’s drop 40 pounds this year”, or “I want to build a trebuchet”. I think I know why my wife gets nervous when I say “I have an idea”.
I may not be running anyone else’s script, but at the end of the day, I’d regret not doing things more than I’d regret trying them.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This one is a personal struggle for me. I’m scared of missing my children grow up. I hate the idea of looking back and finding my children as adults, with few memories of how they got there.
At the same time, I’ve got a pile of debt I need to get rid of before I can dial back too far. I could quit my job tomorrow, but that wouldn’t be providing a good life for them.
My worry, and the worry of some people close to me, is that, once the debt is gone, I won’t be able to let go of my extreme work hours, even though I’m working so hard now to be able to work less later. “Later”, in this case, means a couple of years, not retirement.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Ugh. Feelings. If this is a standard deathbed regret, I’m screwed. My loved ones know I love them, but other than that, I’m happy to be in control of myself.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I do. It’s not always close contact, but it is contact.
I’m of the opinion that life’s too short to spend time with people you dislike, so some people have been relegated to the past. My friends, my family, my loved ones are a part of my life, even if it’s occasionally months between emails or years between visits.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I think I do pretty well on this front, too. Happiness is a choice. I could worry about all of the things that aren’t perfect, or I could enjoy the things I have. I choose to enjoy what I’ve got, even while trying to improve the rest.
In the words of Denis Leary : “Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That’s it, ok! [You] eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to…work, ok!? That is it!”
Happiness isn’t a hobby farm, a new job, or a dream vacation. Happiness is a date with my wife, or cuddling with my kids to Saturday morning cartoons, or taking my son to the range.
Happiness is the things I’m doing now, not the dreams I’m hoping for someday.
Good Friday
We don’t have daycare on Good Friday.
We do, however, both have to work today. Two rounds of little-girl tonsillitis have zapped our available vacation time.
On an entirely related note, we put our 12 year old son through Red Cross babysitter training a few weeks ago, just for something like this.
My wife gets nervous at the idea of leaving the girls with the boy for very long. I think she thinks the world will explode if he takes care of them correctly.
Our solution for today is to have a slightly older friend come over and help.
She’s 13 and she brought her 10 year old brother with her.
That’s kids aged 3,5,10,12, and 13 in my house today. Total Lord of the Flies.
Hold that thought.
My son, being 12, doesn’t feel it’s necessary to brush his hair for school, or change his clothes every day, and he needs to be reminded to brush his teeth.
This morning, he woke himself up and ran into the bathroom. He emerged with clean teeth and combed hair. I asked him if he was wearing the same shirt as yesterday, and he flew into his room to change.
Hmm. Something is afoot.
While I was putting my shoes on, I reminded him to take care of the house and his sisters, and he made some smart-aleck joke in response.
She giggled.
Watson, I think I’ve found a clue.
Her father told me, just yesterday, the she thinks boys are gross.
The boy has never shown an interest in girls, until this morning.
Grr. The next decade just got considerably more interesting.
Time to lock them both in their respective basements until college.
Business Failure: Learn From My Mistakes
I am a failure.
Ten years ago, I started a small web-design company with a friend. I had a larger-than-average stack of geek points and the ability to build a decent website.
We lacked two things.
- Design talent. For me, design–whether graphic, web, or print–is a very iterative process. I build something, even if it’s crap, and incrementally improve it into something good. I understand the technical details of good design, but lack that particular creative spark.
- Sales skill. I’m an introvert. As such, sales–particularly the act of initiating a sale–doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m bad at cold-calling and door-knocking. This was supposed to be my partner’s responsibility. As it turns out, his main talent was convincing me that he had one.
In short, we were trying to launch a tech company on a shoestring budget with nothing but technical skill.
The missing elements doomed us. We never had more than a couple of customers and eventually surrendered to the inevitable.
Ah, well. My investment was time.
The time investment came with some valuable lessons.
- Get complementary talent. You have weaknesses. Find partners who are strong where you are weak and weak where you are strong. That guarantees every will realize actual value in the partnership. The whole will be greater than merely the sum of its parts.
- Hire the skills you need. Make an honest assessment of your talents and skills. Do the same for your partners. If that talent pool is lacking something you need, buy it. If you need a graphic designer, a writer, or a marketer, spend the money to get it. If you lack something truly necessary, your business will stagnate.
- Learn the skills you need. Sales is a learnable skill. So is almost everything else. Even if you lack the talent and won’t be doing the work, you need to have a solid understanding of the skills necessary to run your business. Fluency isn’t necessary, but understanding is. Learn about the principles of good design, the art of cold-calling, and whatever else you are going to be relying on others to handle.
Starting a business can be rewarding, both emotionally and financially. I’ve never let myself be limited to just one income stream, but I try not to let my emotional investment cloud my judgment. Do things right and you’ll stand a better chance of making your business a success.
Why I chose a prepaid credit card
This is a guest post.
You can’t get credit without a credit card, and you can’t get a credit card without good credit. This is a dilemma that many people find themselves facing, whether they are trying to re-establish their credit or build credit for the first time. In fact, this is the dilemma that I found myself in. My solution was to get a prepaid card, and here’s why.
The Real Deal with Prepaid
Prepaid credit cards have earned a mixed reputation over the years. While it’s true that they usually have more fees than a regular credit card, they also offer a financial solution for people who don’t have good credit. And you should also keep in mind that they don’t charge interest because the cash that you are using is yours to begin with. The important thing to remember about prepaid cards is that they are a means to an end; once you rebuild your credit, you’ll find it much easier to apply for a card with better rates and fewer fees.
In addition, prepaid cards offer several advantages. The most important one for me was the convenience of having a card that I could use to make purchases. Prepaid cards look and work exactly like regular credit cards (you don’t have to enter a personal identification number to use them), so the only one who knows it is prepaid is me. And while I use cash for everyday purchases, there’s no avoiding the need for a card when you have to shop online or pay for gasoline at the pump, for example. Most digital merchants only accept payments from cards linked to large financial brands like Mastercard and Visa, and my card gives me a way to buy what I need from whoever has it in stock. In addition, my prepaid card offers me a way to keep track of all of my purchases electronically, which is helpful since I am trying to keep a closer eye on my budget.
Prepaid cards also offer security. Cash can easily be lost or stolen, but if you lose a prepaid card, you can easily get a replacement. More importantly, your balance is protected by a replacement guarantee from your bank, which comes in handy if you ever have to dispute fraudulent charges.
Perhaps the most convenient factor of a prepaid card, though, is how easy it is to get one. You don’t have to have a bank account in your name to receive a prepaid card. However, if you do have an account, you can easily link it to your prepaid card.
Changing my spending habits and getting out of debt hasn’t been easy for me, but one way for me to show creditors that I am getting better at managing finances is to build my credit with my prepaid card. It’s also a way for me to eventually be able to make big purchases that are necessary, such as a car, and hopefully one day, a home. Prepaid isn’t for everyone, but if you find yourself considering this option, it’s worth a second look.
Birthdays on the Cheap
Birthdays are expensive. Shoot, I’ve said that before. It’s usually true, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are five ways to cut birthday party costs. Note: If you’re trying to cut costs on an adult party, just replace the word “kid” with “guest of honor”.
1. Location, location, location. The amusement park/pizza place is nice if you like bad pizza, but it’s certainly not cheap. The inflatable playground may be the talk of the school for a day or two, but it’ll flex your debit card in ways it’s just not used to. Why? Kids, being kids, are capable of entertaining themselves. They’ve got imaginations that should make most adults weep with envy. If that fails, make them play a board game or in the worst case, some video games. Lock the wild young’ns in the basement and let ’em go nuts for a couple of hours. It’ll be a blast, I promise.
2. Why invite the world? How many friends does your kid actually have? I’m not talking about all of the kids in school he’s not fighting with or every kid on the block that hasn’t TP’d your house. I mean actual friendship. If they don’t play together regularly, nobody will be offended about missing an invitation. Invite the entire class? That’s just nuts. Thirty ankle-biters smearing cupcakes on the wall? No thank you. You kid will have more fun with 2-3 close friends than 20-30 acquaintances.
3. Toy flood. What was the last toy your kid played with? The last 10? How many toys have been completely neglected for months or years? How many stuffed animals are buried so deep in the pile in the corner that they are wishing for a fluffy Grim Reaper to come put them out of their misery? Don’t buy your kid clutter. It’s a hassle to clean up–and you will–and it trains them into bad habits for a lifetime. One or two things that they will treasure(or, better yet, wear!) will work our much better for everyone than a dozen things to forget in a toy box. Too many toys guarantees that the kid won’t get attached to any of them. Down with kid-clutter!
4. Designer Cake. Who needs a fancy cake? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you going to start a fire on the thing, then cut it up and give it to a dozen little runts to rub in their hair? If you can’t bake it yourself, a quarter sheet is cheap at the big box grocery stores and will guarantee leftovers. Nothing starts the week better than chocolate marble cake for breakfast on Monday.
5. Food. Don’t. That was easy. Scheduling is an important way to keep costs down. Don’t have the party at lunch time. For small children, 1:30 PM is about perfect. The parents won’t stick around once the kids are ready for a nap. For older kids, 4PM means they will need to be home for dinner. That cuts the menu down to kool-aid, light snack food, and cake. It also ensures that the party won’t drag on forever.
It’s possible to have a budget birthday party without being totally lame. Give it a shot. Your kids won’t mind.
This post is a blast from the past.
