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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

4 Ways We Keep Wasting Money

Finance

DENVER - NOVEMBER 22: A traveler undergoes an...
Image by Getty Images via @daylife

MSN Money has an article up on common ways money is wasted.    Here is my spin.

We(as a species) tend to do a great job of wasting money.   Between inertia and the emotional pain of cutting off something we have gotten used to–whether it be Netflix or a 3rd arm–it’s hard to kill wasted costs.  As Robert Heinlein said, “Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.”

MSN listed 4 ways to make your money go bye-bye:

1.  Credit cards

According to the article, in the US, the average rate of interest is 15% for a total nation-wide debt of $850 billion-with-a-B.  That’s insane.   I lucked out and quit using my cards before the CARD act forced all the issuers to send their rates to the moon.   I’ve opted out of every agreement change since then, while I pay off the remaining balances.   15%! If you buy something for $1000 and pay it off in a year, that’s $1150.   What could you do with an extra $150?   It’s time to get out the torches and pitchforks and drop by Mr. Debt’s house.

2.  Overdraft fees

I set up an overdraft protection account years ago, because it was a heckuva lot cheaper than bouncing checks.   It came with a 25% interest rate and a $2 fee per use.   A couple of months ago, they boosted the fee to $10 per use.   Jerkface, you’re already cashing in on my interest, do you have to touch me like that at the beginning of the date, too?   Thankfully, we haven’t used our overdraft protection since we went on our debt-killing crusade in April of 2009.   Oh, Mr. Debt!  You’re going to have a really bad day when I get to your house.   There will be a smoothie à la Otis when I get there.  Side note: If you’ve got a dark sense of humor, rent Otis.    Not only will you love it, you’ll get the smoothie joke.

3. Unused memberships, gift cards and rebates

Gym memberships are the big example here.   People buy a membership because they set some awesome New Year’s resolution, use it for 2 months, then spend 6 months telling themselves they’ll start using it again soon before they finally cancel.   At $30 per month, that’s $180 that could have been spent sending me presents.   If you must get a gym membership, wait until spring.  That’s when people tell themselves they don’t need a membership because it’s so nice out, they can just exercise outside.   When people tell themselves that, the gyms cut membership costs to lure people in to start their own 6 months of denial.

Take a look at your other recurring costs, too.  Do you use the cable package you have, or could you be just as happy with the next one down?  Do you need the donkeys-and-kneesocks-around-the-world channel?   You’ve gotten your 10 CDs for a penny, can you tell Columbia House where to go with their $20 per CD commitment?

4.  Airline fees

This one is easy.   Forget the 3 hour lines, fees for showing up, Pervo-Scan™, and minimum-wage molestation agents masquerading as cops.   Drive whenever possible.    If it’s not possible, show up in a kilt, regimental-style(assuming you are a guy!).   Don’t check a bag, just ship if overnight to your hotel.   Most of the time, that’s cheaper than $50 per bag, anyway.  Avoid the fees as much as possible.

What other ways have you wasted money?

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The Zombie Guide to Saving

Finance

Mr Zombie
Image via Wikipedia

Brains!

Nobody has ever accused a zombie of being smart.  The are, after all, dead and rotting.  Their primary means of education themselves is eating the brains of the living, which is hardly an efficient learning style.  Besides, in a strictly Darwinian sense, their victims are among the least qualified to teach useful skills.

Zombies smell.  They are little more than flesh-eating monsters.  They are lousy in the sack.  Yet, for all their flaws, have you ever heard of a zombie in debt or worried about financing retirement?  They are obviously doing something right.

What can you learn from a zombie? That depends on the type of zombie.  Not all of the life-challenged were created equal.

There are 3 main types of zombies:

1.  Slow shamblers are best recognized by their lurching gait and unintelligible grunting, similar to a frat party at 3AM.  They are rarely fresh specimens.  Arguably the the scariest of all zeds, due to the sheer inevitability of their assault, they do always get where they are going, even if it takes a while.   Trapped in a pit or a pool, they will keep trying to reach their goal.  A slow shambler, were he able to effectively communicate beyond the basic “Hey, can I eat your brain?” would tell you to approach your goals like the famous tortoise: slowly.  Set aside an affordable amount in savings every week, no matter what. Even if your are stuck saving just $10 each month, you will eventually get your sweet, sweet brains.

2.  Voodoo zombies are the still-living, yet mindless minions on a voodoo priest.  These unlucky non-corpses crossed the wrong people–usually by stealing or not repaying their debts–and ended up cursed for it.  They are forced to do the bidding of their masters until such time as their debt has been repaid, if ever.  Their warning is to always pay your debts and do not steal.  Honest, ethical behavior is the best way to avoid this fate.

3.  Runners are almost always “fresh” to the game.  As they decompose, they slowly transform into slow shamblers.  These fellas can often pass for the living…from a distance.  By the time you get close enough to identify them as monsters, your brains are on the menu.  They are capable of sprinting for short distances and, on occasion, have even been seen to run up vertical walls.  To properly categorize the runners, we have to break them down into 2 sub-groups.  The first sub-group is the envy of all zombies still capable of envy.  They have used their skills to trap enough prey(that’s us, folks!) that they will feel no hunger for the foreseeable future.  They are secure.  They are the successful runners.   The other sub-group tries to emulate the first, but lack both planning and follow-through.   While the first group builds momentum to secure their future, the second group tends to use that momentum to smack face-first into the wall, confused at where their lunch went.  Constantly charging from one thing to the next, they never manage to sink a claw into their goals.   To avoid falling into the second group, you’ll have to settle on a strategy and pursue it with all the single-minded, decomposing determination you can muster.

You know what they say: “Great minds taste alike.”  What kind of financial zombie are you?

Decision Making Made Easy

Life

Cinderella Castle at the Magic Kingdom, Walt D...
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Have you ever had to make a difficult decision?   Not necessarily a decision that’s difficult because it’s life-changing, but a decision that’s difficult because there are two phenomenally wonderful, yet mutually exclusive options?

For example:

  • Should you put caramel or strawberry sauce on your ice cream?
  • Should you go to Disney Land or Disney World?
  • Should you subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS?
  • Should you take the job with the stellar benefits package or the higher salary?

These are all real decisions that you may be called on to make.

For most decisions, there are some alternatives that are easy to discard.

MadDog 20/20 isn’t a good alternative to caramel sauce on your ice cream.   The local BDSM museum probably isn’t a great choice for a family vacation.  Sending me hate mail is obviously worse than subscribing.

Then you’ve got some choices that are both okay, but one is clearly better.    You’ve got free airfare and hotel.  Do you go to Topeka, or Paris?  Neither is horribly, but I think the choice is obvious. You’re going out to dinner.  McDonald’s or…nevermind, this fits the first category.

After you’ve discarded the obvious bad choices and the okay-but-not-great choices, how can you decide between what’s left?

This is the point that starts to cause stress.  What if you make the wrong choice?  What if you regret it forever?   What if you’re still not happy?  Gridlock.

The reason your stuck is because it’s not apparent which is the better choice.  All of your experiences and knowledge are telling you–on some level–that the options are identical in terms of your life, happiness, and goals.    It truly does not matter which one you choose.  You will probably be equally happy, either way.

Given that it doesn’t matter, you have two choices for making the final decision:

  1. Pick the one you want.   The rational decision is a tie, so make it an emotional one.   Does one job match your dreams, but with a bit more risk?   Has one vacation destination been a goal since you were little?  Do it!
  2. Flip a coin.  If the decision doesn’t matter, leave it to fate.  That way, if it doesn’t work out, you can always blame the quarter.

The one thing you don’t want to do is wait.  Failing to decide is still a decision and one that is guaranteed to keep you from being satisfied with your choice.   Don’t wait until you have all of the possible information, because that kind of perfect world doesn’t exist.   Get to about 85% of fully informed and run with it.  You’ll usually be happier making a decision–even the wrong one–than sitting back wondering “What if I had done that?”

How do you make hard decisions?

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Selling on Craigslist

Finance

A senior police officer of the Hamburg police ...
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The vast majority of personal finance websites(including this one) focus on reducing your bottom line–cutting costs.   The other end of the budget is at least as important. Have you tried raising your top line lately?   Have you picked up a side hustle, sold an article, put ads on a website, or even sold some of your stuff?  After we had our garage sale a few weeks ago, we were left with some furniture that was too nice to donate or discard, so we decided to sell it on Craigslist.

The key to selling your stuff on Craigslist is taking pictures.   They don’t have to be good pictures, just something to let your customers know what they are getting.  Take pictures, post the measurements and, if it’s electronic, the model number. Beyond that, a simple description will suffice.

Be safe when you are posting the listing.  Don’t give your address and don’t post when you will be home.   That’s just a job offer for burglars.   When you talk to a potential buyer, never tell them there is nobody home.  Tell them your roommate is the only one home and he doesn’t want to deal with the sale.   Don’t give strangers on the internet an opportunity to rob you.

When you are meeting a buyer, pick a public place away from home, if at all possible.   If you are selling furniture, it may not be possible, but it is for smaller items.   Meeting in a busy gas station parking lot or even in front of the police department is a good way to stay safe.   Secondary crime scenes are nasty things and inviting the wrong stranger in is offering one ready-made.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]Bring a friend.  Preferably, an intimidating friend. Crime is less likely to happen if there is more than one person there.    Bring a friend to a public place to meet the buyer to maximize your safety.

Don’t get ripped off.   Craigslist scams abound. Bad checks, forged checks, and shipping scams are just some of the problems.

Only accept cash. It’s hard to forge a greenback.

One of the most common scams, after a bounced check, is the cashier’s check scam. You’ll get an email saying the item is great and payment is on the way.  When the check clears, a relative of the buyer will come to pick up the item.  Then, oops, their secretary made the check out for $3000, instead of $300.  Would you mind sending the overpayment back by Western Union, minus $100 for your troubles?   First sign of trouble:  over-complicating a simple transaction.   Second sign:  not using cash.   The cashier’s check will be forged.   There is no way to verify funds on a cashier’s check, and the bank will post it as available well before it comes back bad.   You will be able to spend the money, only to have the money disappear later. That means you can’t wait to see if the check clears before wiring back the overpayment.  There is no way to recover your money.

If you get a response that includes a link, do not click it!  Ever.  No matter what the link looks like.  Ever.  No clickyclicky. It may be an innocuous link to your ad, but the link can be masked.  Any other link is almost definitely a link to a virus-ridden website.  Repeat after me: No clickyclicky.

If you get an email about Craigslist transaction protection or escrow, you are being scammed. Run away.

Craigslist can be great way to turn your junk into cash, but only if you actually get the cash.  Keep yourself safe and scam-free.

 

5 Ways to Save Money by Going Green

Finance

This is a guest post by MoneySuperMarket.

Making changes in your daily life that minimize your impact on the environment is the right way to go green. While most people are happy just to know the environment is being protected, there are other benefits to going green. Pick a few of these five lifestyle changes and enjoy having a little extra cash in your pocket as well.

Eat More Meals At Home

Dining out is a fun family experience, but it takes its toll on your wallet and your neighborhood. Restaurants create millions of tons of trash each year. This tip is to the people who already avoid fast food for health reasons, but cooking with your friends and family is a great way to get closer.

Pick Up A Creative Hobby

Some hobbies require a lot more equipment or materials, therefore creating more waste and using more energy. Creative extracurricular activities use inexpensive or recycled goods instead, requiring fewer trips to the sports goods store. Woodcarving can be practiced with scraps from cabinetmakers, while yarn for knitting can come from old sweaters that are no longer worn.

Cool Off The Hot Water Heater

Each water heater features a small screw or dial that allows you to set the perfect temperature. Millions of people have their heaters set higher than necessary, wasting a lot of electricity each year. You can safely turn the heat down to about 125 degrees Fahrenheit, which could net you some hefty annual savings if it is at 140 or 150 degrees right now. Most people never use water for washing or showering that is higher than 130 when mixed in the tap.

Carpool With Co-workers

Driving back and forth to work puts a lot of wear and tear on your vehicle. Rising gas prices has made it even harder to afford a long daily commute by car. Sharing the responsibility among a group of co-workers or fellow parents at your child’s school can help to spread out the costs and the impact on the environment.

Try Your Hand At Gardening

You don’t have to have a green thumb to grow your favorite herbs in a windowsill pot. Start out easy and try a potted dwarf lime tree or a terracotta planter full of strawberries on the patio. The vegetables you harvest don’t have to contain pesticides. Compare your gardening costs against prices for high-end organic produce at the store. You could save thousands of dollars each year and reduce the damaging effects of large-scale agriculture.

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