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Selling Your Car

: English: Jalopy car in Joshua Tree National Park in Hidden Valley Campground (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When it’s time to replace your car, most people focus on the new car, instead of the old, but that is ignoring real money. Your old car–unless it has disintegrated–still has value. Sometimes, it’s just time to ask yourself, “When should I sell my car?”

When you’re looking to sell your car (like with We Will Buy Your Car), you generally have several options:

Tow & crush. If your car has been wrecked, doesn’t run, or is just old and beat up, you may be stuck with calling a junkyard and accepting $50 for them to pick up your car and crush it for scrap.
Trade it in. This is probably the least hassle, but–other than #1–doesn’t pay well. Dealerships are willing to pay something under what they will get at a wholesale auction, which is quite a bit less than the blue book value.
Sell it yourself. Now you’re thinking, “He’s going to buy my car! Oh, bother.” It can be a pain, but it’s also the best way to get a decent price for your wheels.

When you sell your car, there are a few things to keep in mind, much like when you sell something on Craigslist.

Don’t be alone. There are bad people in the world, but they don’t like witnesses. Bad things are much less likely to happen if you have company.
Know your price. Specifically, know three price: your dream price, the price that would make you happy, and the absolute lowest price you are willing to accept. Make sure you figure these numbers out ahead of time. Know what you are comfortable with before it comes time to close the deal.
Check IDs. The buyer is going to want to test-drive your car. That’s fine, but you want to make sure you know who is driving off in your car. “Officer, Sumdood took my car. He was wearing jeans.” That won’t get your car back.
Clean it up. Get the car detailed before you show it to a potential buyer. A sparkling-clean car will almost always bring in a few hundred extra dollars. It’s well worth the expense.

Following this plan should make the sale go as smoothly as possible and bring you the most possible money.

Readers, what have you done to dispose of an old car?

This is a sponsored post written to provide some insight into the world of used car retail.

Refinancing Your Existing Loan to Purchase An Investment Property

Finance

Many people are looking at the housing market slump right now as an investment opportunity. Here are a few of the things that you need to know before getting a new home loan or refinancing your existing loan in order to make that happen.

Amount You Want to Borrow

A lot of borrowers go shopping for real estate and have exactly no idea how much money they can borrow. One of the first questions that you need to ask before going real estate hunting is how much can I borrow. You can ask a bank, lender, or financial institution to give you a ballpark figure of the amount of loan that you would qualify for. This will make it easier for you to narrow down exactly what type of property you can afford and what areas you can concentrate on.

Amount of Interest You Will Pay

Too many people are overly concerned with the purchase price of the home that they are buying. They fail to find out how much interest they will have to pay back to the bank in order to make their home ownership dreams come true. This is where a home loan calculator can be really useful. You can find out exactly how much interest you will repay over a 10, 20, or 30 year loan time period. You can also change the interest rate and down payment amount on those calculators to see if you can secure a lower monthly payment.

Credit Score Needed to Qualify

It doesn’t matter if you are buying a home for the first time or refinancing an existing loan. Your credit score matters. You need to start doing some research now if you want to secure a loan with a really low interest rate. This involves taking the time to see what credit scores traditional lenders are looking for and doing the work necessary to qualify for this loan. Your credit score will make a big difference in determining if an investment property purchase is a profitable endeavor or one that winds up costing you money. It will depend heavily on what kind of loan your credit score allowed you to negotiate.

Make the Choice

Once you know how much you will need and exactly how much you will be paying out over the life of another mortgage, you can decide whether you want to refinance your current home loan to get another one. Adding on another huge debt to an existing one is a big risk. Make sure to think it through fully before jumping in.

How to Build a Business on Cannibalism

Business

Last week, my wife posted on Facebook that she was frustrated with her job hunt.

HUFU: The healthy human flesh alternative.

An hour later, she got a call from someone she hadn’t talked to in 10 years. He wanted to talk about a great business opportunity. He wouldn’t say what it was, but wanted to bring a friend over to discuss it.

Fast forward to last night.

The night my wife agreed to meet with the old friend.

The meeting we forgot about.

So we invited our friend and his friends into the house. We sat down at the dining room table to hear the pitch. Our friend is just getting started so his “friend” delivered the pitch.

While I was waiting for him to explain the business, he was showing us pictures of he and his wife traveling around the country.

Instead of explaining the product, he asked about our most expensive dreams.

Instead of telling us how the marketing worked, he mentioned something about utilizing the internet–and i-Commerce–and talked about changing our buying habits.

Instead of showing us a product, he talked about driving volume and building a team.

There was nothing concrete, but a lot was said to ride on the dreams of people who are frustrated with their income or are living paycheck-to-paycheck.

More than an hour into the presentation, it was revealed that the “product” is a buying portal to allow people to buy Amway products from your personal Amway store.

Freaking Amway.

How do they find your personal Amway store, you ask? I don’t know, because you are supposed to be your own best customer. You make money by buying the products you use anyway, but buy them from Amway. For example, there’s the $10 toothbrush, the $16 baby wipes, or the $38 toilet paper.

For six frickin’ rolls.

Seriously, this stuff is meant to touch my butt once. I don’t need it made from pressed gold.

As for the visual…you’re welcome!

So I sell a kidney to buy enough toilet paper to keep my nether bits clean for a month and I get one point for every $3 I spend. I figure that’s about 50 points per month, given the foot traffic our bathrooms see.

If I hit 100(I think, he didn’t leave the paperwork) points, I get 6%(again, I wasn’t taking notes) back at the end of the next month. For the sake of the math, I’m going to double the number of butts in my house. 100 points means I need to spend $300. That’s 47 rolls of toilet paper. In exchange for this $300–and on top of gold-embroidered silk I now get to flush down the toilet–I’ll earn $18.

I know exactly how much toilet paper I buy right now. Amazon sends me a 48 roll package every other month for $31.42, shipped.

To simplify, Amway is offering me the ability to spend $300 to get $18 plus $31.42 worth of toilet paper. I’m supposed to end my financial worries by turning $300 into $50 every month.

Yay!

[Note to self: Demolish Amway’s business model by starting a company that will let people turn $200 into $50, without the nasty overhead of stocking overpriced crap. A 33% increase in efficiency will make me rich!]

But wait, say the imaginary Amway proponents that I hope aren’t frequenting my site, you’re forgetting the most important part!

Oh really?

There’s also a thing called a “segmented marketing team”. To the rest of the multi-level marketing world, this is known as your downline. If you can con your family and friends into turning their $300 into $50 every month, then help them con their family and friends into turning $300 into $50 every month, you’ll get rich! Amway has apparently figured out a way to share a small fraction of their 600% markup with their victims to make them feel like it’s a business opportunity instead of a robbery.

If I get 9 people in my “business team” and each of them build out their team, I get the coveted title of “Platinum Master” or whatever. All I have to do is sell the souls of 72 people and I can make a ton of money! If each member of my downline turns $300 into $50, Amway will get $18,000. In exchange for delivering those souls, the “average” Platinum Ninja makes about $4500 per month. That’s about $12,000–free and clear–for Amway.

When your business model consists entirely of your sales force doing all of the buying and consuming, it’s not a business model, it’s cannibalism.

Funerals Cost Too Much

Finance, Life

When my mother-in-law died, we weren’t prepared to pay for her funeral. We were three years into our debt repayment and were throwing every available cent at our last credit card. We had a couple of thousand dollars in savings, but that was earmarked for property taxes, braces, and a few other things that make money go away.

Then we found out we had a $1500 bill just to get her released and moved to the funeral home.

And catering for the funeral.

And programs.

And the grave, marker, and urn.

Scratch the last one. My mother-in-law prepaid for her grave site and had a funeral insurance policy to cover the marker, cremation, vault, and urn. She paid $800 and saved us nearly $1900 last spring.

By the end, we spent about $2500 for everything, including a reception at the funeral home.

I can’t describe how helpful that was. We couldn’t have covered it without debt, and the money we inherited was months away.

A little pre-planning on her part smoothed out the hardest time in our lives.

In 2009, the average cost for a funeral was $7,755. That’s a lot of cake for something that often catches you by surprise. In 2012, the average savings balance in the U.S. was $5,923.

Unexpected funeral expenses are a “wipe me out” expense. In a flash–a heart attack, a car accident–your life savings can get sucked into death expenses, leaving your family with nothing.

That reminds me, it’s time to buy a pair of grave plots.

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

Finance, Life

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share. You’re not our child’s mother. I’ve been sleeping with the milkman. And the goat. Your mom is the star of my new adult website. With the goat. And the milkman. I’ve got three other families, in three other cities. I lost the house to my gambling addiction. Those sores? Herpesyphiligonoritis. I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her. The goat gave her away. The milkman cried. Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion. I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis. But I still love you. And your sister. Especially your sister. She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend. He bought a couple of cars. He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold. So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name. I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars. She wanted them. She wanted to hurt him. She was mean. Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days. When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test. According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.” Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity. Lie detectors. Yelling. Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight. Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage. It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note: The show paid $200 and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

IRA or Powerball?

Finance

“When I win the Powerball, I’m going to buy that house and kick him out. I play diligently, so you know it’s going to happen.”

The Lotto Powerball logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had a friend say this to me this week. He’s poor–living on about $500 per month–and he was recently evicted from his apartment.

His plans for the future involve taking nearly 20% of his income and ~~burning it~~ playing the lottery. When he found out that I don’t play, he looked at me like I was stupid.

The odds of winning a life-changing amount of money are 1 in 5,153,632.65. That’s for a $1,000,000 prize. The next step down is $10,000, which, while helpful, won’t change many people’s situation for long. One in 5 million. That’s 5 times worse than your odds of being hit by lightning this year. It is, however, 4 times better than your odds of being sainted and 12 times worse than your odds of dating a supermodel.

It’s not going to happen.

Sure, play for fun–because turning cash into valueless slips of paper is a blast–but don’t play the lottery instead of working to improve your future. The lottery is NOT a retirement plan.

Instead, a much more reasonable plan is to date a millionaire. The odds of making that happen are just 215 to 1, and you can do things to improve your chances.

Improving the odds of dating a millionaire:

Hang out where millionaires go. Yacht clubs, nice restaurants, rehab, that dark corner of their bedroom where the lamp never quite reaches that just looks perfect for a stalker-cam.
Do what millionaires do. Golf, high-stakes poker, oppress third-world countries, Centrifugal Bumblepuppy.
Look like millionaire-bait. For my friend, the 50-year-old black man, it might be hard to look like a 23-year-old blonde hardbody, but it’s worth the effort.
Be nice, be polite, give good h…nevermind.

Seriously, getting a regular job and socking money away every month will give you a far better return on your investment than playing the lottery. Even if you’re saving it in a mayonnaise jar buried in the backyard next to that obnoxious guy who used to live next door, you will be building security and peace of mind. Every month, you will be better prepared for the storm of crap life tends to throw around.

Do you play the lottery? Why or why not?

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