- RT @ScottATaylor: The Guys on "Pickers" should just follow the "Hoarders" teams around- perfect mashup #
- PI/PNK test: http://su.pr/2umNRQ #
- RT @punchdebt: When I get married this will be my marital slogan "Unity through Nudity" #
- http://su.pr/79idLn #
- RT @jeffrosecfp: Wow! RT @DanielLiterary:Stats show 80% of Americns want to write a book yet only 57% have read at least 1 bk in the last yr #
- @jeffrosecfp That's because everyone thinks their lives are unique and interesting. in reply to jeffrosecfp #
- @CarrieCheap Congrats! #CPA in reply to CarrieCheap #
- @prosperousfool I subscribe to my own feed in google reader. Auto backup for in between routine backups. Saved me when I got hacked. in reply to prosperousfool #
- @SuzeOrmanShow No more benefits? I bet the real unemployment rate goes down shortly thereafter. in reply to SuzeOrmanShow #
- Losing power really make me appreciate living in the future. #
Ending A Streak
The first year I decorated our yard for Halloween was 1999. The first year we through a Halloween party was 1998.
Our parties tend to fall on the legendary side. Between setup, cleanup, and out-of-town guests, the party is a 3-4 day affair. People reserve our spare beds a year in advance. The day of the party itself, we’re going from 10AM until 5AM, cooking, drinking, and talking. Over the 10 hours the party is actively going, we have 50-60 guests in and out.
Our yard is a neighborhood attraction. We’ve been on the news and in the newspaper. By the end of Halloween night, the path through the yard is nearly worn down to bare dirt. The spot the large coffin sits takes 6 weeks to rejuvenate in the spring. I’ve literally scared kids right out of their masks. Little old ladies have jumped out in the air, shrieking, only to ask me to hide again, so they can bring their husbands over to enjoy the startle.
This year, we end the 13-year unbroken streak of fear and debauchery. We’ve been doing this since before any my oldest kid was weaned.
It’s hard to take a break, but…
Dealing with my mother-in-law’s house has been far too much work for us. We spent all summer cleaning out the hoarding mess.
And fixing up the yard.
And replacing the boiler.
And fixing the plumbing.
And updating the electrical system.
And fixing up the basement.
And patching the walls.
And selling the cars.
And sorting through 30 years of every scrap of paper that has ever come through the house.
And dealing with all of the memories, and the pictures, and the past.
It’s been too much, and it’s not done.
Now, it’s the middle of October, and the idea of stealing the extra time to add the extra stress of setting up the yard and throwing a big party makes me want to break down.
Two days to set up the yard, only to have some kid steal my favorite, irreplaceable pieces, then two days to pack it all up.
A day of decorating inside, followed by a party and a hungover day of cleaning it all up.
All of that, while losing time from the side business and pushing through to the end of the property preparation from hell.
I can’t do it, so, as sad as it makes me, we’re taking the year off. No Halloween events at my house this year.
I Won the Lottery!
No, I didn’t, but this is what I’d do if I won an obnoxious amount of money.
- Take 6 months or a year, hire traveling tutors for the kids, and see the world. This gives the extra benefit of being completely out of reach for anyone trying to borrow money.
- Pay off the mortgages of a few close family and friends.
- Set aside a big chunk to support my decadent, extravagant lifestyle.
- Create a fund.
This fund will have the purpose of making all of my descendants live life on the easy setting in perpetuity. It will give them enough money to cover the major hurdles everyone has in life, without giving enough that they don’t have to work. Here’s the money I see them getting:
- Upon the birth or adoption of a child with my last name (Because I’m a jerk like that. My name will last forever!): $10,000
- Graduate high school with at least a B average: $5,000
- Attending college while making progress towards graduation: $10,000 per year, up to 8 years(to allow for doctors and rocket scientists and stuff)
- Graduating college: The amount of college costs (tuition, room & board, etc.) up to $200,000.
- Marriage, provided my descendant maintains my last name: $20,000
- Starting a business, up to twice in a lifetime: $50,000
Each of these items that occur after the recipient becomes an adult would have the stipulation that their will gifts half of their estate back to the fund. That way, everyone who got this headstart will help pay it forward.
This will require management, so I would appoint trustees to manage it. Their job will be to grow the fund and adjudicate any requests. They will have the authority to buy property, invest in businesses, or whatever will grow the fund to support future generations of my spawn. Three, because that way there can be no ties. Each of the three will have a named successor, who must be one of my descendants. They will, of course, earn salaries. I don’t see this being part-time work. A salary that puts them at the 80th income percentile in the US seems fair. They won’t have the ability to give themselves raises, beyond a statistical adjustment.
Amounts can be adjusted to cover rising costs, inflation, or potential depletion of the fun upon the majority vote of the Council of Three, with the overriding goal of making sure the fund survives to help future generations.
I actually see the organization of this being a corporation built around the management of a trust fund, but I’m not a lawyer or an accountant, and this is a fantasy, so I can see it however I want.
Yes, I follow the patriarchal model of maintaining my last name. Sue me. My last name, a parent who is descended from me and has my last name, and a will that states you’ll do your part to continue the awesomeness isn’t a high price to pay to avoid nearly all of the expensive things that hold people back.
That’s my master plan to take over the world, in the future, by proxy.
WWE: Money in the Bank, or all Hype?
Most people will never realize what it’s like to lose $350 million in a single day, but if you’re Vince McMahon you know the feeling all too well. However, before you start collecting money to give to the WWE CEO, let’s remember that despite that setback he’s still worth a cool $750 million. So while he got knocked out of the billionaire’s club, he’s still a full-fledged member of the multi-millionaire’s club.
World Wrestling Entertainment, thinking anything it does is money in the bank, has been busy lately securing television deals for its various programs such as Raw and Smackdown. While Mr. McMahon got the deals finalized with networks owned by NBCUniversal, the price he got was considered by analysts to be far lower than what he was looking for. As a result, WWE stock prices plunged nearly 43 percent in a single day, costing Vince his billionaire club card.
However, despite the rough financial spot in the road, don’t think the WWE is ready to tap out anytime soon. The WWE Network, an on-demand streaming service launched by the company earlier this year, is already approaching one million subscribers. Despite what will probably be an initial loss of $50 million for the fledgling network, McMahon and other WWE executives believe the network will eventually become a money-maker for the company.
So while Triple H, the Rock and John Cena have helped make the WWE what it is today, there are many other superstars who are helping take the company to even greater heights. In recent years, perhaps none are more well-known and liked than the company’s Divas. Whoever said sex sells sure knew what they were talking about, because it seems the wrestling fans simply can’t get enough of the beauties who fight it out every week for glory and gold. With the show Total Divas on the E! Network for the next several years, fans will continue to get their weekly dose of the ring beauties there as well as on the other shows in the WWE camp.
So while it’s not money in the bank that all of the company’s ventures will pan out as hoped, it’s a good bet Mr. McMahon and those associated with the WWE will continue to figure out what fans are wanting and deliver it to them on a regular basis. And whether or not you are a wrestling fan, you’ve got to admit the WWE is a captivating experience in sports entertainment that keeps fans coming back for more each and every week.
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4 Ways We Keep Wasting Money
- Image by Getty Images via @daylife
MSN Money has an article up on common ways money is wasted. Here is my spin.
We(as a species) tend to do a great job of wasting money. Between inertia and the emotional pain of cutting off something we have gotten used to–whether it be Netflix or a 3rd arm–it’s hard to kill wasted costs. As Robert Heinlein said, “Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.”
MSN listed 4 ways to make your money go bye-bye:
1. Credit cards
According to the article, in the US, the average rate of interest is 15% for a total nation-wide debt of $850 billion-with-a-B. That’s insane. I lucked out and quit using my cards before the CARD act forced all the issuers to send their rates to the moon. I’ve opted out of every agreement change since then, while I pay off the remaining balances. 15%! If you buy something for $1000 and pay it off in a year, that’s $1150. What could you do with an extra $150? It’s time to get out the torches and pitchforks and drop by Mr. Debt’s house.
2. Overdraft fees
I set up an overdraft protection account years ago, because it was a heckuva lot cheaper than bouncing checks. It came with a 25% interest rate and a $2 fee per use. A couple of months ago, they boosted the fee to $10 per use. Jerkface, you’re already cashing in on my interest, do you have to touch me like that at the beginning of the date, too? Thankfully, we haven’t used our overdraft protection since we went on our debt-killing crusade in April of 2009. Oh, Mr. Debt! You’re going to have a really bad day when I get to your house. There will be a smoothie à la Otis when I get there. Side note: If you’ve got a dark sense of humor, rent Otis. Not only will you love it, you’ll get the smoothie joke.
3. Unused memberships, gift cards and rebates
Gym memberships are the big example here. People buy a membership because they set some awesome New Year’s resolution, use it for 2 months, then spend 6 months telling themselves they’ll start using it again soon before they finally cancel. At $30 per month, that’s $180 that could have been spent sending me presents. If you must get a gym membership, wait until spring. That’s when people tell themselves they don’t need a membership because it’s so nice out, they can just exercise outside. When people tell themselves that, the gyms cut membership costs to lure people in to start their own 6 months of denial.
Take a look at your other recurring costs, too. Do you use the cable package you have, or could you be just as happy with the next one down? Do you need the donkeys-and-kneesocks-around-the-world channel? You’ve gotten your 10 CDs for a penny, can you tell Columbia House where to go with their $20 per CD commitment?
4. Airline fees
This one is easy. Forget the 3 hour lines, fees for showing up, Pervo-Scan™, and minimum-wage molestation agents masquerading as cops. Drive whenever possible. If it’s not possible, show up in a kilt, regimental-style(assuming you are a guy!). Don’t check a bag, just ship if overnight to your hotel. Most of the time, that’s cheaper than $50 per bag, anyway. Avoid the fees as much as possible.
What other ways have you wasted money?
No Brakes
Growing up, I was mostly poor, but I didn’t realize it. The electricity was never shut off and I never missed a meal, but there was rarely money for anything extra. Clothes were only purchased immediately before school started. Shoes were always at least one size too big. Hand-me-downs were a way of life. With very rare exceptions, new toys were given on birthdays and at Christmas. As a Christmas baby, this was unfortunate. If I wanted something during the year, I had to buy it. I had an allowance on and off–more off than on–for a few years. So, I got my first job-a paper route-when I was six. Most of the toys I accumulated as a child, I bought.
Through all of this, my parents never said “We can’t afford it.” I was simply told that if I wanted something, I could either save my money or wait for Christmas. I never saw my parents paying bills, but they got paid. I never saw a checkbook get balanced, but it did. There were only a few times money management was ever mentioned, even in passing.
Naturally, when I moved out on my own, I expected money to take care of itself, just as it had the entire time I was growing up. That wasn’t terrible until I got married, bought a house, built an addition and decided a needed a new car. There was nothing in me to apply the brakes. I can count the number of missed payments I’ve had on one hand-with fingers left over. I can’t begin to guess the number of purchases, both large and small, that I should have skipped but didn’t.
Shortages growing up coupled with absolutely no budget training turned into financial irresponsibility as an adult.
My wife grew up with almost the exact opposite training. She was also poor, but the household budget was clearly in evidence and generally taken to an extreme. Her training involved getting “the best bang for the buck”. If an item was on sale and could potentially be useful, her mother bought five. I don’t mean five similar variations. That’s five identical products, same size, same color. She still has a display box full of screwdrivers with interchangeable tips. It looked useful and it was on sale, so she bought them all.
Through all of that, the bills were always paid.
This training has made it difficult for my wife to turn down a sale price. If something is on sale-or worse, clearance-there is an excellent chance it will be coming to our house. Once again, there are no brakes.
Shortages growing up coupled with almost two decades of watching every sale turn into a purchase has turned into financial irresponsibility growing up.
Neither one of us were prepared to handle the financial aspect of being an adult. That is something we intend to improve on for our children. We intend to give them the ability to brake themselves.
