- RT @Dave_Champion Obama asks DOJ to look at whether AZ immigration law is constitutional. Odd that he never did that with #Healthcare #tcot #
- RT @wilw: You know, kids, when I was your age, the internet was 80 columns wide and built entirely out of text. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: RT @FinanciallyPoor "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." ~ Unknown #
- Official review of the double-down: Unimpressive. Not enough bacon and soggy breading on the chicken. #
- @FARNOOSH Try Ubertwitter. I haven't found a reason to complain. in reply to FARNOOSH #
- Personal inbox zero! #
- Work email inbox zero! #
- StepUp3D: Lame dancing flick using VomitCam instead or choreography. #
- I approve of the Nightmare remake. #Krueger #
Did I Die?
If you’re reading this, you should probably be able to guess that I have not, in fact, died.
So your next question may be “What the heck are you up to, if you’re not posting here?”
That’s a valid question.
It’s been a rough year, and I won’t share details about all of it, but here goes:
I’ve been trying to focus on my marriage. We’ve had some problems that take time to work out. One of the problems is that I’m traveling for work at least monthly. That sounds like staying in a hotel with nothing to do would be great for writing, but it never seems to work out that way. There’s always something going on.
One of the solutions for that–in relation to my marriage–is that we are going on weekly date nights. Every Friday, the boy watches his sisters and the wife and I go out. We usually have a dance lesson, followed by dinner and some activity, which has meant actual dancing in actual bars on actual dance floors with actual bands playing live music. It’s fun, but it sidesteps frugality completely. The dancing lessons run $95 each. Most nights, there’s a $5 cover at the bar where we dance, and dinner is somewhere between $50 and $100, depending on the restaurant and drinks. So, we’re dropping $150-200 per week on dates.
Totally worth it.
The date nights have also spun off into a new venture. Dating & Dining (click the link!) is the site where we document and review our dates. We’re not reviewing our date, because that would be weird. “Honey, you rocked my world when we got home, bu you were kinda crabby tonight. I’m only going to give you 3 stars.”
No.
We are reviewing the restaurants and activities we’re doing, using the traditional “Pants Off” rating system. A really good restaurant will knock our pants off, sometimes literally.
That’s more writing and a lot of time gone.
On top of that, Linda has gotten both her motorcycle license and her carry permit, so there’s riding and shooting(never together!) to fill in the time.
And kids. Kids–much like our dog, but totally unlike our pythons–want attention. And food. And games. And a freaking overpriced American Girl Doll. And time. So we play games and bring out the Daddy/Daughter date.
In short, since we got our finances in order, I’ve been trying to draw back from being an obsessive workaholic and focus on the reason I became one in the first place: my family.
Living On Credit Cards
About 2 months ago, Linda and I decided to go back on the envelope system for all of the parts of our budget that we aren’t able to automate.
The reason we’re doing this is because we’ve been consistently over budget when we do all of our spending on our credit cards.
The reason we switched back to using our credit cards is because it’s a royal pain in the butt to always make sure we’re carrying enough cash for groceries and gas and date night and fundraisers and cover charges, etc.
It’s still a royal pain in the butt, and we still suck at it.
But one of our envelopes is labeled “This went on a credit card” and is used for those times we forgot to grab cash before heading to the store.
In the last two weeks, that’s $500 that we forgot to bring with us.
Cash sucks.
I’m tempted to go back to using the credit card for our primary spending. Yes, we are consistently over budget, but it’s not terrible….for some odd definition of “not terrible”.
We generally seem to have about $1000 left on the card after making our last monthly payment every month. Every month. The overall balance never grows, it’s just hanging out $1000 over what we have budgeted to be paid automatically on the card.
That’s a bad thing, but….
Since I make a payment every couple of weeks, the interest is never assessed on that balance. In the last year, we’ve paid exactly $0 in interest, without any funny balance transfer deals.
By my calculations, that means our credit card has given us $1000 for free.
If we pay that off and get strict about using cash, won’t that mean our free $1000 would have to evaporate?
I like free money.
That also means that the total interest we paid in 2014 is $672.91, all to our mortgage. Even if we have a small balance we carry, we’re not paying interest on that debt, and–worst case–we could raid our savings to make it vanish tomorrow. I’m tempted to make that happen, but our savings goals are more important to me that paying back the free money.
Indio Downey: The Cost of Drug Addiction
Indio Falconer Downey, the son of actor Robert Downey Jr., was arrested Sunday, June 29, 2014 on drug possession charges. At the time of his arrest, Indio was a passenger in a vehicle that was stopped around 2 PM. At the time of the traffic stop, Indio was found to have what appeared to be cocaine as well as a smoking pipe. He posted bail around 9 PM that evening and was released.
Father’s Drug Problems
Indio’s father had many well-publicized drug addiction problems throughout the 1990s, attending a number of rehab facilities in an attempt to beat his drug addiction. The 49-year old actor says he was introduced to drugs by his father at the age of eight, and by 20 was a full-fledged addict. Just two years after Indio was born in 1994, the actor was stopped by police driving his Porsche on Sunset Boulevard naked and in possession of cocaine, heroin and a .357 Magnum. Just days before he was due to be charged for those crimes, he was arrested after being found passed out in a neighbor’s home. Indio’s father spent 12 months in prison and, in 2000, when Indio was six, Robert Downey Jr. was arrested in a Palm Springs hotel room with cocaine and wearing a Wonder Woman Costume. Before a preliminary hearing could be held on the charges, Indio’s father was arrested for being under the influence of an undisclosed stimulant. Indio’s mother, Deborah Falconer, divorced his father in 2004.
Indio’s Drug Abuse
According to reports, Indio’s father has been helping his son deal with addiction problems for many years. Indio has been in and out of treatment centers, and some reports say he had remained clean and sober for some time, in some part due to his father’s counseling. In 2013, there were reports that Indio was being treated for a “pill problem,” which his mother claimed was not a significant problem. According to Deborah Falconer, Indio was taking “one pill a day” and that he was not addicted. She said Indio was being treated with “holistic, natural and orthomolecular therapy.” After Indio’s arrest on Sunday, however, Robert thanked the Sheriff’s Department for their intervention, stating that there was a “genetic component to addiction” and that “Indio likely inherited it.” Robert has been clean and sober since late 2001.
Children of Addicts
One of the unknown costs of addiction is that children of addicts are eight times more likely to develop an addiction than those whose parents are not addicts. Many studies have confirmed that addiction is a combination of genetics and poor coping skills. In addition, sons of addicted fathers are four times more at risk for developing an addiction than the sons of non-addicted fathers. Much of this is because addicted parents often lack the ability to provide structure or discipline, and the sons of addicted fathers receive harsher discipline than those of non-addicted fathers. These statistics clearly show that the cost of addiction on offspring is high, and indicates why Indio may have turned to substance abuse.
It is clear that this recent arrest shows that Indio may be facing an escalating drug problem, similar to what his father faced in the 1990s. After seeing his father as an addict, as well as the well-known genetic connection regarding addiction, Indio may need intensive therapy in order to fight his addictions.
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Saturday Roundup – Welcome to Halloween
- Image via Wikipedia
This weekend marks the beginning of Halloween at Casa del Myhouse. We’ll start setting up our yard display tomorrow. If we’re lucky, we’ll be featured on TV again.
Don’t miss a thing! Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email.
The Best Posts of the Week:
Bill and Ted is coming back for another sequel! I don’t know how they can top Bad Robot Ted or the Grim Reaper playing Battleship, but I’m looking forward to it.
Here’s a summary of the first stage of the new, overpriced, under-understood health care plan.
I keep thinking about signing up for a CSA. Here’s some details on how they work.
Frugal Dad talks about “my money“.
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Cheap Vacations was included in the Festival of Frugality. Thanks!
If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Hypocrisy
Sometimes people make choices for a variety of reasons entirely outside of my knowledge and understanding. Yet somehow, I still manage to be dismissive and occasionally derogatory.
What I have come to realize is that there are numerous reasons for making apparent bad decisions. It is easy, though often not correct, to dismiss these supposed mistakes as character flaws, without taking the time to fully understand the decision-making process.
For example, I am usually quick to point out the folly of gadgets. Odd, that, for a gadget geek. So many gadgets are merely ego purchases, bought because the are “cool”. Obviously a waste of money. A smartphone serves no practical purpose for an average person, right? What if that person’s life is so difficult to manage that a calendar sync including both spouses and multiple calendars will allow a family to make sure every kid gets to every activity on time? Or he has a side business that is easier to manage with ubiquitous email? Or even a strong urge to limit the number of items carried every day? A phone/mp3 player is fewer gadgets than separate appliances.
Another example is a close friend who started running several months ago, to be met with questions of why somebody would run without being chased. It’s easier to play on the internet or ride a bike, right? And the special running shoes? Silly. Except running is cheaper than biking and running shoes beat knee surgery any day. Running on the street is more effective than a treadmill, since you can’t step off after running two miles away from your house.
So here I sit, a runner with a crackberry and plate full of crow.
“Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.” Indeed.
