Search Results for: how-to-complain-the-squeaky-wheel-gets-the-grease/INGDirect/subscribe-by-email/budget-lesson-part-5/money-problems-day-1-setting-goals/budget-lesson-part-1/how-much-should-you-tip/questions-from-a-reader/shaving-for-real/experiences-v-stuff

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-17

  • @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
  • I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
  • RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
  • TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
  • Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
  • RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
  • First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-05

  • Working on my day off and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. #
  • Sushi-coma time. #
  • To all the vets who have given their lives to make our way of life possible: Thank you. #
  • RT @jeffrosecfp: While you're grilling out tomorrow, REMEMBER what the day is really for http://bit.ly/abE4ms #neverforget #
  • Once again, taps and guns keep me from staying dry-eyed. #
  • RT @bargainr: Live in an urban area & still use a Back Porch Compost Tumbler to fertilize your garden (via @diyNatural) http://bit.ly/9sQFCC #
  • RT @Matt_SF: RT @thegoodhuman President Obama quietly lifted a brief ban on drilling in shallow water last week. http://bit.ly/caDELy #
  • Thundercats is coming back! #
  • In real life, vampires only sparkle when they are on fire. -Larry Correia #
  • Wife found a kitten abandoned in a taped-shut box. Welcome Cat #5 #

Deathbed Relationships

My great-uncle has been depressed lately.

He lives in the same apartment building and my grandmother, his sister.   They are just down the hall from each other.

Over the holidays, he’s seen a steady stream of people visiting my grandma, bringing cards and pictures, or taking her out to eat.   Over Christmas weekend, she spent far more time away from home, celebrating with her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids than she did at home.

He’s never met his great-grandchildren.    He’s in his 70s, living in a retirement home attached to the nursing home he will most likely die in, and he’d like to see his descendants.

It’s too late.

He didn’t lose his relationship with his kids and grandkids in a fight.   Instead, he spent his entire life doing his best to avoid all forms of responsibility.   He spent 50 years avoiding supporting his family.  He wasn’t there for them.

Of course they won’t be there for him.

There is a simple way to get your kids and your grandkids to dote on you in your old age:  You spend your entire life being there when you’re needed.

Simple.

Building a relationship that can survive–or even thrive–in the times when you’ve got very little left to give takes a lifetime of commitment.

It starts the day your children are born, when you hold that precious little high-maintenance paperweight and swear that nothing bad will ever be allowed to happen to them.   Then you teach them to walk, and teach them to talk, and kiss their booboos when they fall.   And they will.

Day in, day out, you be there.   You feed them, clothe them, punish them when necessary, and love them unconditionally even when they make it hard to like them.   Every blessed day.

You soothe their pains, manage their fears, help them grow and turn into useful adults.  Every flipping year.

When they are adults, you lend an ear, you lend a hand, you help with their babies, you offer advice, you listen and talk and you are there.   Decade after decade.

Then, when you are old and broke and broken down, you’ve got people who love you, who cherish their memories with you.  These are the people who will drive an hour out of their way to pick you up for dinner.   They’ll carry you up the stairs you have trouble with.  They’ll sit at your feet and listen to you tell stories.  They’ll be there for you because you’ve always been there for them.

That’s how you get your kids and grandkids to visit you in the nursing home.  Simple, not easy.

If you’ve missed their childhood–for whatever reason–it’s still possible to build that relationship, but it’s so much harder.   You start by taking time out of your life to do spend time and be there.  Help when you can with what you can.  Be there.

If you wait until you are old and broke and broken down to start your relationship, it’s too late.   Your kids will know that it’s just another example of your selfishness.   If you’ve never made an effort to give, you’ve got know business expecting to get.  You’ll be lucky to get an occasional phone call and a greeting card for the holidays.

Enhanced by Zemanta

So You’re Getting Evicted…

Last week, I had the opportunity to visit eviction court, though not for anything having to do with my properties.

It was an interesting experience.  Eviction court is a day when nobody is at their best.  Landlords are fighting to remove bad tenants, sometimes questioning their desire to be a landlord, while tenants are fighting to keep their homes, often with no backup plan.  Occasionally, you get someone who just wants to get out of their lease because the landlord is a creepy peeper who digs through the dirty laundry.

Nobody goes to eviction court in a good mood.

If you ever find yourself in eviction court, here are some things to remember:

Everyone

  • If you don’t show up, you lose.  Period. Landlord or tenant, judges don’t like waiting around.  You will get the worst possible outcome if you stay home.
  • The first day is a hearing.  The judge will either accept a settlement between the two parties, or he’ll check if there is a valid reason for a full trial.  The trial will be schedule for another day.  In Minnesota, that happens within 6 days of the hearing.
  • Don’t make faces at the other side while they are talking to the judge.  Do you want to go to jail for being a smartass?  It’s called contempt of court.

Landlords

  • Fix the mold, rot, and other habitability issues.  You’ll have a hard time getting your rent back if you are a slumlord forcing your tenants to live in a biohazard.
  • If you’ve got an automatically renewing lease, don’t file the eviction notice with the renewed lease for violations that happened under the old lease.    If you do, you’ll be handing a win to your tenant.
  • Make sure you lease has an eviction clause.  If it doesn’t, you may not have the right to kick out your tenant for any reason.
  • Your tenant’s dirty underwear is not a toy for you to play with.  Creep.

Tenants

  • Pay your rent.  If you are withholding rent to get something fixed, you’ll be expected to put that in escrow the day of the hearing, so don’t spend it on vodka or a new stereo.
  • Read your lease and the filing.   It may have a backdoor that lets you escape the eviction.
  • Try not to get evicted.  An unlawful detainer can make it hard to rent again for a couple of years.
  • Dress nice.  I’m amazed by how many people showed up in ratty jeans and uncombed hair.  Look professional.  The judge will appreciate the effort.

All in all, it’s best if landlords and tenants try to keep each other happy.  The whole business relationship will go much smoother if you do.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta