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- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-12
The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Tomorrow is also Thursday, and I don’t post on Thursdays, so I’ll be posting about Thanksgiving today.

Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for–first and foremost–capitalism.
When the Pilgrims first landed, they set up a communal farming arrangement, figuring that a good Christian community could take care of its own. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need, and all that. Everyone worked for the good of everyone else, so everyone benefited, right?
The Pilgrims, like every other group that has ever advocated communism, neglected to consider human nature. If you have no incentive to work, you don’t. If sleeping in and making babies still gets you fed and clothed, why work?
On the other side, if you work hard, only to see your hard work go to benefit your lazy neighbor, sleeping in and rattling the headboard, but never doing anything productive, why bother?
It didn’t take long for the Pilgrims to notice this tragedy of government wasn’t working.
The strong, or man of parts, had no more in devission of victails and cloaths, then he that was weake and not able to doe a quarter the other could; this was thought injuestice. The aged and graver men to be ranked and equalised in labours, and victails, cloaths, etc., with the meaner and yonger sorte, thought it some indignite and disrespect unto them. And for mens wives to be commanded to doe servise for other men, as dresing their meate, washing their cloaths, etc., they deemd it a kind of slaverie, neither could many husbands well brooke it. Upon the poynte all being to have alike, and all to doe alike, they thought them selves in the like condition, and ove as good as another; and so, if it did not cut of those relations that God hath set amongest men, yet it did at least much diminish and take of the mutuall respects that should be preserved amongst them.
It didn’t take long before nobody was working. Neighbors resented each other, because everyone had a right to the work of the other, with no need to compensate each other. That’s a case of “I’m starving because you aren’t working hard enough, but it’s not my fault you’re starving.”
At one point, the production of the colony was down so much that the colonists’ ration of corn was just 4 kernels per day. That’s how you kill a colony.
But they learned from their mistakes before they all died.
Yet notwithstanding all those reasons, which were not mine, but other mens wiser then my selfe, without answer to any one of them, here cometh over many quirimonies, and complaints against me, of lording it over my brethern, and making conditions fitter for theeves and bondslaves then honest men, and that of my owne head I did what I list. And at last a paper of reasons, framed against that clause in the conditions, which as they were delivered me open, so my answer is open to you all. And first, as they are no other but inconvenientes, such as a man might frame 20. as great on the other side, and yet prove nor disprove nothing by them, so they misse and mistake both the very ground of the article and nature of the project. For, first, it is said, that if ther had been no divission of houses and Lands, it had been better for the poore. True, and that showeth the inequalitie of the condition; we should more respecte him that ventureth both his money and his person, then him that ventureth but his person only.
The slavery of working for the benefit of others didn’t work, unless you were “theeves and bondslaves”. Then, it was great, living off of the sweat of others.
To make a long story short, the starvation ended when the Pilgrims were given parcels of land and told they could keep what they built from it. They went from the edge of extinction to being prosperous in a short time. The old and weak were cared for, not by the governor’s decree, but by the generosity of their neighbors.
Everybody in the colony won.
5 Ways to Reduce Temptation and Have a Peaceful dinner
It never fails: you send the kids off to the salt mine babysitter for the evening, cook a nice dinner and light some candles. Then, just as you sit down, the phone rings.
Now you have 2 choices, you can do like me and ignore the phone if it’s inconvenient to answer or you can ruin a romantic dinner. The telemarketers know that, statistically, you are home at dinner time. They don’t care if you are celebrating an anniversary or just trying to connect with your loved one.
Why not preemptively stop the irritation? While you’re at it, stop the junk mail, too. It’s not as hard as you’d think. It’s a simple, almost free process that will not only eliminate the frustration of pointless calls and sorted junk mail, but will also cut down on the temptation of seeing something shiny to buy.
Here are the four steps to a leaner, greener and romantic dinner-making you:
1. Get on all of the Do Not Call lists.
- You can get on the federal list by visiting www.donotcall.gov or calling (888) 382-1222. The tele-sales weasels will have have a month to clear you out of their systems.
- If you still get calls–some calls are still allowed, including political calls, non-profit fundraisers, and surveys–they are still required to maintain an in-house do not call list. Tell them to put you on that list.
- Many states have a Do Not Call list that is entirely independent of the the federal list. This is redundant, but the more roadblocks you put up, the better you will be.
If you are still getting calls, report them to the FTC at:
Federal Trade Commission
Consumer Response Center
600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20580
1-877-FTC-HELP
www.ftc.gov
2. Opt out of junk mail. The Direct Marketing Association manages a list of people who do not want junk mail. This list only applies to members of the association, but most mass-mailers participate. Go to www.dmachoice.org to enroll. It costs $1 to get on the list and will stop most junk mail for 3 years.
3. Opt out of pre-approved credit card offers. Go to www.optoutprescreen.com to remove your name from the lists generated by the major credit bureaus to sell to marketing firms. You can put a halt to this breed of junk for 5 years or forever.
4. Ask them to stop. If you are getting catalogs from a company with which you have an existing relationship, ask them to knock it off. Virtually every one will stop sending you garbage to ensure a continuing business relationship with you.
5. Guerrilla Warfare. If none of this works, there are still a couple of options.
- Keep an airhorn by the phone. They won’t call twice.
- Take everything you receive from a company, stuff it all in the prepaid return envelope they helpfully included, and drop it back in the mail. They only get charged for the prepaid envelopes when they are used, so use them up. It’s illegal to alter them to send mail to other people, but it’s not illegal to mail them all of their own garbage. If you cost them enough money, they will eventually back down.
The Virtues of Preparation
The first day of school caught me by surprise yesterday.
I knew it was coming, and we had almost all of the stuff we need in the brat’s backpack, but we weren’t ready for it.
Yesterday morning, we woke up. Brat #3 was uncooperative, to say the least, so I wasn’t playing my ‘A’ game. I woke up Brat #1 and sent him on his way to get changed and eat breakfast. Ten minutes later, I chased him off of the couch to go get changed and eat breakfast. He had forgotten that his school day starts at 7:30, now.
He ate and grabbed his backpack to leave. I sent him to his room to change.
He changed and grabbed his backpack to leave. I sent him to his room for socks.
He put on socks and grabbed his backpack to leave. Then he realized his shoes weren’t by the door.
Shoe hunt!
I got him out of the door, only to see his face again a minute later when he realized he had forgotten something else.
Please remember that Brat #3 was acting up the entire time.
During the course of this, I was trying to make my lunch, which spent the day sitting on my kitchen counter. I was dressing myself; I don’t know how many times I made it to the front door, only to realize I hadn’t put on socks, yet. Or pants, for that matter.
What could have gone better?
Preparation.
On Monday, the day we all had off, with no plans, we should have set our alarms and done a dry run, right up to the point of walking out of the door. Here’s how Monday should have gone:
- All the school and daycare stuff should have been ready to go the night before.
- I get up, have breakfast, then wake Brat #1.
- He gets up and has breakfast, while I dress Brats #2 & 3.
- Brat #1 gets dressed while I help the girls with their shoes and jackets.
- Brat #1 throws on shoes and heads out the door while I strap the girls into the car.
- Everybody’s happy.
That’s the well-oiled machine I would like to see in the morning. Am I dreaming? How do you handle your morning routine efficiently?
Did I Die?
If you’re reading this, you should probably be able to guess that I have not, in fact, died.

So your next question may be “What the heck are you up to, if you’re not posting here?”
That’s a valid question.
It’s been a rough year, and I won’t share details about all of it, but here goes:
I’ve been trying to focus on my marriage. We’ve had some problems that take time to work out. One of the problems is that I’m traveling for work at least monthly. That sounds like staying in a hotel with nothing to do would be great for writing, but it never seems to work out that way. There’s always something going on.
One of the solutions for that–in relation to my marriage–is that we are going on weekly date nights. Every Friday, the boy watches his sisters and the wife and I go out. We usually have a dance lesson, followed by dinner and some activity, which has meant actual dancing in actual bars on actual dance floors with actual bands playing live music. It’s fun, but it sidesteps frugality completely. The dancing lessons run $95 each. Most nights, there’s a $5 cover at the bar where we dance, and dinner is somewhere between $50 and $100, depending on the restaurant and drinks. So, we’re dropping $150-200 per week on dates.
Totally worth it.
The date nights have also spun off into a new venture. Dating & Dining (click the link!) is the site where we document and review our dates. We’re not reviewing our date, because that would be weird. “Honey, you rocked my world when we got home, bu you were kinda crabby tonight. I’m only going to give you 3 stars.”
No.
We are reviewing the restaurants and activities we’re doing, using the traditional “Pants Off” rating system. A really good restaurant will knock our pants off, sometimes literally.
That’s more writing and a lot of time gone.
On top of that, Linda has gotten both her motorcycle license and her carry permit, so there’s riding and shooting(never together!) to fill in the time.
And kids. Kids–much like our dog, but totally unlike our pythons–want attention. And food. And games. And a freaking overpriced American Girl Doll. And time. So we play games and bring out the Daddy/Daughter date.
In short, since we got our finances in order, I’ve been trying to draw back from being an obsessive workaholic and focus on the reason I became one in the first place: my family.
Making Up Stories
Saturday night, as I was walking out of the pizza place, I saw a beautiful young brunette standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone.
As I walked past, I heard, “I could pay my rent if they’d just give me my last paycheck! They owe me like $200.”
That’s it.
Have you ever heard a tiny piece of a conversation and used that to build a back story in your own mind?
I do that all of the time.
In fact, I’m going to do that now.
First, what can I know from those two sentences?
- She was unemployed. She was more worried about her last paycheck than her next one.
- She had worked for a scummy, fly-by-night, something-or-other. Good companies don’t withhold paychecks.
- She had no emergency fund. If she had one, $200 would be an inconvenience, not a disaster.
- She rented, and had roommates. This conversation occurred in the parking lot of a pizza place in a reasonably affluent suburb. For $200, she wasn’t living alone. Whether she rented a room or shared an apartment would be a mere guess.
Those items can–I believe–be taken as fact, given the evidence at hand.
Now for the conjecture:
- She was a waitress. A $200 final paycheck probably means her hourly wage was low. Besides, pretty, young, unskilled girls often become waitresses. It’s one of the few ways to make good money without a degree of any kind.
- The restaurant wasn’t a chain. Chain stores have lawyers and procedures. They don’t withhold final paychecks.
- She invites drama into her life. When you work for a company that makes a habit of shady practices, like withholding final paychecks out of spite, you know it happens. It’s not a surprise. If you continue working there, you are just waiting in line for your turn to have problems.
- She wasn’t close to her family. In an emergency, $200 from Mom & Dad is nothing. In my mind, she only has one parent and isn’t close to that parent, but that’s purely invention.
- Her friends are in the same boat. Short-term planning, no reserve cash, no room to let a friend couch-surf for a couple of weeks.
- Next month, she’ll be having the same problems, but she’ll find someone else to blame. Her ex owes her money, or her roommate stole the last of her cash.
That’s my entirely unsupported guess of a young stranger’s life story. My opinion isn’t flattering, but how could it be, when $200 is enough to make the young woman panic?
Have you ever played this game?