- I tried to avoid it. I really did, but I’m still getting a much bigger refund than anticipated. #
- Did 100 pushups this morning–in 1 set. New goal: Perfect form by the end of the month. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: Carnival of Personal Finance is live 🙂 DOLLAR DOODLE theme: http://tinyurl.com/ykldt7q (haha…) #
- Hosting my first carnival tomorrow. Up too late tonight. #
- Woot! My boy won his wreslting match! Proud daddy. #
- The Get Home Card is a prepaid emergency transportation card. http://su.pr/329U6L #
- Real hourly wage calculator. http://su.pr/1jV4W6 #
- Took my envelope budget out in cash, including a stack of $2s. That shouldn’t fluster the bank teller. #
Not the Center of the Universe
On Sunday, I dropped Punk #3 off at a birthday party. She walked into the yard, saw her friends and took off running. I confirmed times with the birthday girl’s mother and left. I went home and had Punk #2 help me with repairs to Coffin #1. It is Halloween season, after all.
When I came back two hours later, they had just finished eating cake and were about to open up presents, so I got to hang around for a while.
I noticed some amazing things:
- Fully 75% of this family’s living room was devoted to play space for the kid. As you walk in the front door, you get to see a giant pile of toys and kid-craft crap. Most of what is traditionally a gathering area was taken over by kid.
- Of the dozen or so children who came to the party, close to half of the parents stayed. Really, is your precious little snowflake so endangered by her friends that you can’t come up with something better to do that watch her play with her friends and ignore you for two hours while under the supervision of the resident parent?
- Clowns. Ok, it wasn’t technically a clown, but a guy named Mr. Fun who hands out whoopie cushions and entertains kids while wearing odd clothes counts as a clown, to me. I get it, you want your special little snowflake to have a memorable birthday, but if every party is big and over-the-top, which one will she remember? Maybe she’ll only remember a sense of entitlement.
I very firmly believe that children should not be raised to feel like they are the center of the universe. Not even to Mom & Dad. They need to know that we have lives and interests that aren’t them.
Mothers and fathers NEED to have lives and interests that are entirely separate from their children. If your entire focus for 20+years is on the lives of your little brats, what is going to happen to you when they move out? Are you prepared to abandon two decades of self-training and suddenly become your own person again?
Husbands and wives need to have time to themselves that excludes the children. When the monsters finally leave, you need to be able to have a relationship that doesn’t revolve around who spilled what where and who’s turn is it to clean it up.
Children are not–and should not be–the focal point of a household. Leave them at a birthday party. Let them find a way to entertain themselves for a few hours. Go on a date.
I promise you, letting your kids see their parents happily doing things together–even if it’s gleefully leaving them with a sitter–will do more for their long-term well-being than knowing you’re standing in the corner at a birthday party watching her fake a fart with a 25 cent toy.
Let her be independent. Let her know that other priorities do exist for other people. Let her fall down and scrape her knees. Let her figure out how things work for herself.
That is life, after all. Let her live it and don’t forget to live it for yourself.
Failed Side Hustle: Scrapping
Last week, the washing machine in our rental house died. It was older than I am, so this wasn’t really a surprise. It was one of just two appliances we didn’t replace before we moved the renters in.
My wife–bargain shopper that she is–found a replacement on Craigslist. We got it in, then left the dead washing machine next to the replacement, as a warning to any other appliance that thinks it can shirk its assigned work.
This morning, we went over to pull the corpse of our washing machine out of the basement.
Now, I am an out-of-shape desk jockey, my wife is considerably weaker than I am, and a 40 year old washing machine weighs more than 200 pounds.
In the basement.
I’m Superman. Although at one point, I did trade 10 years of the useful life of my right knee in exchange for not letting that thing tumble down the stairs on top of me.
What do you do with a dead washing machine?We could have the garbage company pick it up for $25. Or we could leave it on the curb and wait for some stinking scrapper to take it.
Or…we could join the dark side and scrap it ourselves.
For the uninitiated, scrappers are the people who drive around looking for fence-posts to steal out of other people’s yards, or cut the catalytic converters out of cars parked at park-and-ride bus stops, or steal all of the copper pipes out of your house while your on vacation. Sometimes, they get scrap metal from legitimate sources, I’ve heard.
We decided to go the legitimate route and take the washing machine to the scrap metal dealer in the next town over.
It was pretty easy. We pulled in with the washer in the trailer. A guy on a forklift pulled up and took it, then handed us a receipt to bring to the cashier. She paid us in cash, and we were on our way.
$7.50 richer.
200 pounds of steel, and we made less than $10.
There are people who pay their bills by recycling scrap metal, but I have no idea how. Driving around looking for things to scrap would seem to burn more gas than you’d make turning it in.
Some people scour Craigslist looking for metal things in the free section.
Some people have an arrangement with mechanics to remove their garbage car parts.
Some people are only looking to supplement their government handout checks enough to pay for cigarettes.
Us? We’re going to leave scrapping to the scavengers.
$1500 Luxury
I’ve got some expensive habits. Not like Charlie Sheen snorting $2500 of blow of a hooker’s boobs, but still expensive.
My latest one is dancing lessons. Linda surprised me on one of weekly date nights a few months ago. She found a Groupon for the dancing studio we used before we got married. It was $69 for a month of unlimited group lessons.
When the month was up, we signed on for their beginner cycle of lessons, which cost another $400.
And now we’re starting the Social Foundation program.
Social Foundation is a series of classes that teach some advanced moves, but also to teach dancers how to lead and follow properly and how to dance socially and look respectable on a dance floor in any number of situations. Leading and following are important because every single dance move out there has specific cues that tell your partner what’s coming next. If she doesn’t know, you both look clumsy.
So we chose the four dances we’re going to learn better and signed up. We’re going to learn the Rumba, Waltz, Tango, and Swing. We’re already pretty good at Rumba and Swing, but we’re going to get better. Personally, I’m hoping to also figure out how to use the Tango on an open dance floor without crashing into people. That way, we can pretend to be Gomez and Morticia, my heroes.
Now, the thing is, dance lessons aren’t cheap. They cost about $100 per hour, where an hour is defined as 45 minutes. We’re rolling the last half of our beginner lessons into our social foundation lessons and paying $1400.
Ouch.
They gave us the option of financing it over 3-4 months, but I didn’t want to pay an extra $200 for the privilege. I think we’ll be tapping the vacation fund to pay for the lessons.
Why am I willing to pay this much?
Dancing is one of the very few things Linda and I both enjoy. We’re pretty good at it, it’s great exercise, it’s fun, and (shhh!) it counts as foreplay. It also doesn’t hurt to have the sidelines of the dance floor lined with people watching us dance, wishing they could do what we’re doing…or wishing their husbands were willing to learn how to dance. This also isn’t just something we’re doing at the studio. We are out on a dance floor dancing to a live band almost every week. That usually comes with about $25 in cover charges and drinks.
Fun, exercise, have sex, and inspire jealousy. That’s a winning combination. And finding things to do that we both love to do is difficult and easily worth the $2000 we’ve paid the dance studio this year.
5 Ways to Make Shopping Quickly a Breeze
Shopping is a major time sink. Between the travel, the traffic, and the checkout lines, the actual shopping almost seems
pleasant. Almost. Here’s my super-secret ninja plan to reduce the unpleasant time wasted while giving away my money in exchange for the privilege of not scooping manure straight from the source onto my crops to get both my burgers and my salads.
First, The List. I’m not going to tell you to use a list. You know that already. My secret? Organize your list by department. Divide the list into sections. Make sure it has a produce section, a meat section, a baking section, and any other section you will be visiting. Don’t leave the department until that section of the list is complete. That will eliminate chasing back and forth for things you forgot, which is a huge timesaver.
Shop where you know. When you are in a hurry or stressed by crabby kids, don’t go check out a new store. You won’t enjoy it with the kids in tow, AND you’ll be tempted to buy more, since you will encounter more as you explore the store trying to find what you need. Go somewhere you know. That will eliminate any hunter/gatherer-style shopping. If you know where you need to go, you’ll get through the shopping trip much faster.
Skip the bad aisles. I resist temptation best by avoiding it. In the store, I avoid it by skipping entire aisles of stuff. If there’s nothing I need in an aisle, don’t go there. Why tempt myself with that many more choices? I’m sure I can find something I’d like to bring home in almost any section of almost any store. So I avoid the unnecessary sections.
Shop at the right time. Don’t go on Saturday afternoon when every other 9-to-5er is free to run errands. If you absolutely must shop on the weekend, either go late–I prefer 3am–or go right at lunchtime when everyone is stopping to feed the hungry children. Me? I’ll either feed them first or fill them up on samples at the grocery store.
Use less, eat less. You’ll need to buy less that way. If you eat smaller portions, or learn how to cook with a versatile mix of staples, you’ll need to buy less, either through lower consumption or lower variety. I’m not saying eat boring, just get creative with the basics. I know a couple of different ways to cooks rice and beans, without getting bored. When you add the perfect-food-makers, like bacon, it’s easy to keep meals interesting.
How do you reduce wasted time shopping?
Check Your Bills
Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we’ve been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML -Jay
- Image by roberthuffstutter via Flickr
I am a huge fan of automating my finances. My paycheck is direct-deposited. My savings are automatically transferred from my checking account to my savings account. Almost every bill I receive regularly is set up as an automatic payment in my bank’s bill-pay system. I even have my debt snowball automated.
The only question left is whether it’s possible to automate too far. Can you automate past the point of benefit, straight into detriment? The primary benefit of automation is knowing that you can’t forget a payment. The other benefit is freeing up your attention. You don’t have to give any focus to paying your bills, freeing you to worry about other things.
The problem with the second benefit is the same as the benefit. If you don’t give your bills any attention, how do you know if there is a problem? If something changes–an extra fee or a mis-keyed payment–you won’t notice because you haven’t been giving the bills any focus.
Sometimes, this means you are paying an extra fee without noticing it. Sometimes, if your due date changes, it can mean late fees. Even if nothing goes wrong, you are missing the opportunity to review what you are paying to ensure your needs are being met as efficiently as possible.
What can you do about it? I put a reminder on my Life Calendar to check my bills each month. I pick one bill each month and try to find a way to save money on it. I review the services to make sure they are what I need and if that doesn’t help, I call and ask for a lower price. If it’s a credit card, I ask for a lower interest rate. For the cable company, I ask if they will match whatever deal they have for new customers.
Every company can do something to keep a loyal customer happy. All you have to do is ask.
Do you automate anything? How do you keep track of it all?
