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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Sunday Roundup: Reddit Rocks

Misc

Friday was my biggest traffic day, ever. Mike‘s guest post, Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, went slightly nuts on reddit. For a few hours, it was in the top 10 on the front page, generating more traffic every half hour than I normally see in a day. That was fun.

In other news, my kid is in the #2 slot for wrestling the heavyweight slot on his wrestling team.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 25 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 3 pounds since last week. 17 more to meet my goal for February.

Total Inches: I have lost 14 inches in the same time frame, down 2.5 since last week.

Best Posts

J. Money has launched an awesome new project called Love Drop. Once a month, they go make a huge difference in someone’s life. Wise Bread interviewed them yesterday.

Tip: Use the word “solved” in a google search to find the answers to tech problems.

If OMG and Awesome got drunk and made a baby with Optimus Prime, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cobra Commander’s nastiest fantasies, the offspring wouldn’t be this good. Holy crap. Major cheese alert.

Q. Why do some business lobby hard for excessive regulation in the name of protecting the environment or forcing people into decisions they disagree with, only to turn around and lobby for waivers to those regulations once they are passed? A. Because it’s not about the environment or health or giving-a-crap. It’s about the money. When an established company pushes for regulations, it’s to keep upstarts from entering the market. Regulations add barriers to entry. Anybody who’s trying to force you to do something for your own good has a product to sell to meet that “need”.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?

Have you ever given any thought to the idea that debt is a social disease? It’s taboo, you usually didn’t do anything nice to get it, and it’s hard to get rid of.

In case I haven’t made it obnoxiously clear, I’m more than a bit of a geek. The post I wrote about D&D and personal finance should make it more obvious.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Medical Costs and Choices was included in the Festival of Frugality.

How to Save Money On Anything was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mike from http://savingmoneytoday.net presented Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, which is the post that went kinda nuts on reddit. He also hosted my post, Resisting Temptation.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

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You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of. I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

The 10-Step Saving Action Plan

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

Getting started saving money is hard. It’s easy to get used to instant gratification and impulse purchases. Postponing material fulfillment takes discipline and deferred enjoyment. I don’t like deferring my enjoyment, but I do it. The path to successful savings isn’t always easy, but it is gratifying, when you give it the time and effort required to see actual results.

Here’s the 10 step plan to successful savings:

Recognize the need. If you don’t understand why you need to save, you won’t do it for long. If you think it’s more important to buy a new car, a new TV, or the fanciest portable gadget out there, you won’t prioritize saving. You need to think about how saving a solid nest egg will benefit you and your future self, before you can be sure you will stick to your savings plan.
Pay yourself first. When you get paid, whether it’s a traditional paycheck or a surprise windfall, immediately drop 10-15% in a savings account you keep completely off-limits, no exceptions. If you make this an unbreakable habit, you will have a surprising amount of money in a surprisingly short amount of time.
Prioritize. Prioritize your expenses. If you don’t care about a particular optional expense, get rid of it! Examine the rest of the bill for things you can trim. Do you really need 5000 channels? Can you make do with just 300 specialized versions of ESPN?
Compare prices. If you buy from the lower-priced store, you save money. No s****, huh? Doing this requires that you forgo impulse purchases and do some research before you buy most things. Shop online, at least enough to know what you should be paying.
Save your change. When you get home at night, put your change in a jar. When the jar gets full, bring it to the bank. A medium-sized mason jar full of silver-colored coins will bring in about $100. Put that directly into savings.
Save your dollars. I pay cash for everything I buy in person. When my money clip gets too many one-dollar bills, I put them all into a box. This would be a phenomenal addition to my savings account, if I weren’t planning to use it for spending money on our vacation next month.
Save the extra $$. If you get unexpected money, don’t let it enter you regular cash flow. Get it straight into a savings account. You weren’t expecting it, so you won’t miss it.
Save the new $$. Save your raise. If you start making more money, save the difference. Like #7, you’ll never miss it. Don’t give yourself a chance to expand your lifestyle.
Club the naysayers in the knees. There will always be people who denigrate your choices. If they tell you it’s crazy to live within your means, or get upset because you don’t want to go to the fancy restaurant, screw ’em. Not literally of course. We’re trying to apply a punishment here, after all. If they don’t like your choice, kick them in the shins.
Reward yourself. Don’t be afraid to schedule rewards at certain savings goalposts. When you get $5000 saved, let yourself take $300 to the high-end steakhouse. When you get $10000, look at buying the camera you want. Give yourself a reason to stay motivated. It is, after all, your money.

This is how we’ve managed to build up a small-but-comfortable emergency fund and tackle a nice chunk of our debt. Do you have plan to save?

Does Money Make Miley Cyrus Act Crazy?

Celebrities

If you’re like millions of people who saw Miley Cyrus’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards recently, you’ve probably wondered what the effect of massive success on the music and acting star. Cyrus seems to be

Cover of "Hannah Montana The Movie" — Cover of Hannah Montana The Movie

doing everything possible to remake her image in the exact opposite of her squeaky clean mold that Disney and other companies have created for her over the last several years. (A rumor has it that Disney even created a contractual obligation for Cyrus to maintain a certain haircut during her “Hannah Montana” television show.) There’s a sense of someone taking on their first sense of independence, and running with it — the star seemed to be sending the message to the audience that she was not going to live according to the expectations of others anymore, and from the look of it, they got that message loud and clear.

The horrified looks of Rihanna, Drake, and Will Smith aside, the real question people had is whether the massive financial rewards of Cyrus’ singing career can explain her crazy behavior. Cyrus is said to be worth about $100,000,000 — certainly a fortune by any standards. And since she is still struggling with the problems of young adulthood — forming an identity, understanding her values and taking a place in society, it’s very likely that her finances contribute to at least some of her behavior.This effect of money can come from many different areas of life. For one, many people who become wealthy at a young age are suddenly struck with the fact that they have no need to work, but who often want to develop a career and contribute to society. Take Steve Jobs for example, who at 31 years old was fired from Apple Inc. by the company’s board of directors. Jobs had in fact started the company himself, and was worth well over a hundred million dollars by that time. And yet, feeling like contributing to society was more important to his life than resting on his laurels, Jobs started a new company, NeXT, where he hoped to contribute inexpensive computers to universities.

The fact that Cyrus is barely into her 20s should tell you something about how much time she has to develop her career. She has enough to retire at an age when most people are just starting their first real job. And that is a tough position to be in. If she is hoping to push her singing and acting career well into adulthood — as most artists would like to — it may be that she is trying to make her mark now. Think of it a bit like Bob Dylan in 1964, releasing electric music for the first time, when before that point he was primarily known as a folk singer making gentle acoustic music.

Dylan’s idea may have been a bit like what Cyrus’ is. That is to say, maybe Miley Cyrus is trying to avoid becoming a has-been, a relic of the 2000’s who burned out playing inoffensive pop music. If this is the case, Cyrus may be able to shift her career into a different mode by showing herself to be an uncompromising artist. Remember that even the greats of the past — Frank Sinatra for example — were once viewed as essentially music for teenagers, and not serious artists. Sinatra even suffered career failure in his 20’s when his audience grew up and moved on to other things. But he came back to record success when he began allowing his music to mature and his ideas to gain focus. If Cyrus can pull such a move, she may not be remembered as a teeny-bopper, but as a serious artist.

Things to teach your kids about money

Finance, Parenting

cute kid (Explore) — Image by Swami Stream via Flickr

As parents, it is our job to teach our kids about a lot of things: driving, reading, manners, sex, ethics, and much, much more. How many of us spend the time and effort to teach our kids about money? A basic financial education would make money in early(and even late) adulthood easier to deal with. Unfortunately, money is considered taboo, even among the people we are closest to.

It’s time to shatter the taboo, at least at home. Our kids need a financial education at least as much as they need a sex education, and—properly done—both educations take place at home.

How do you know what to teach? One method is to look back at all of the things you’ve struggled with and make sure your kids know more than you did. If that won’t work, you can use this list.

Balance a checkbook. This is the most basic of financial skills. The easiest way to teach this is to help him open a checking account and demand he keeps the register current and reconciled. Make him use a paper register. Quicken or an alternative may handle the work, but your kid will never learn the underlying principles if he doesn’t have to sit down with a pen and calculator to do the work. The cheat can come later, when he is capable of handling the task himself. It’s the same reason schools don’t let kids use calculators until the basics are thoroughly mastered.
Calculate paid interest. Understanding how much something costs after accounting for interest should be enough to scare anyone away from credit cards. I believe that the reason it doesn’t is because most people don’t understand how to figure out what interest is costing them. In case you don’t know yourself, the math is simple: balance X interest rate(as a decimal) / 12. That will show you how much you are paying each month for the privilege of borrowing money.
Use your money to make money, not to pay interest. The flip side of interest is earned interest. It’s always best to let your money work for you, building your wealth than to struggle to finance a bank’s payroll liabilities.
Save 25%. My son is required to put a quarter of everything he earns in his bank account. He gets $20 for shoveling the neighbor’s driveway, so $5 goes in the bank. The money he gets for gifts is handled the same way. Everything he gets, whether it be from a gift, his allowance, or work he does—gets divided the same way. If I can establish that habit for him, and impress upon him the value of saving 25% enough that he continues into adulthood, he will never have money problems.
Always contribute to retirement. At every opportunity, from every paycheck, make a contribution to retirement. At a minimum, a 401k contribution should be made at a level that takes full advantage of any company match. If there is no match, even $25 per paycheck will add up over time. Teach them to work towards the 401k contribution limits.
Spend less than you earn. This is the shining, glorious foundational principle of successful finances. Not just individuals, but businesses and even governments should learn this lesson. If–at all times–you are spending less than you earn, you will have more options to handle the remaining bits. If you live on the wrong side of this equation, you will never be able to get ahead, no matter how hard you work.

Those are the lessons that I am working to instill in my children, a little at a time. Am I missing any?