- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Did I Die?
If you’re reading this, you should probably be able to guess that I have not, in fact, died.
So your next question may be “What the heck are you up to, if you’re not posting here?”
That’s a valid question.
It’s been a rough year, and I won’t share details about all of it, but here goes:
I’ve been trying to focus on my marriage. We’ve had some problems that take time to work out. One of the problems is that I’m traveling for work at least monthly. That sounds like staying in a hotel with nothing to do would be great for writing, but it never seems to work out that way. There’s always something going on.
One of the solutions for that–in relation to my marriage–is that we are going on weekly date nights. Every Friday, the boy watches his sisters and the wife and I go out. We usually have a dance lesson, followed by dinner and some activity, which has meant actual dancing in actual bars on actual dance floors with actual bands playing live music. It’s fun, but it sidesteps frugality completely. The dancing lessons run $95 each. Most nights, there’s a $5 cover at the bar where we dance, and dinner is somewhere between $50 and $100, depending on the restaurant and drinks. So, we’re dropping $150-200 per week on dates.
Totally worth it.
The date nights have also spun off into a new venture. Dating & Dining (click the link!) is the site where we document and review our dates. We’re not reviewing our date, because that would be weird. “Honey, you rocked my world when we got home, bu you were kinda crabby tonight. I’m only going to give you 3 stars.”
No.
We are reviewing the restaurants and activities we’re doing, using the traditional “Pants Off” rating system. A really good restaurant will knock our pants off, sometimes literally.
That’s more writing and a lot of time gone.
On top of that, Linda has gotten both her motorcycle license and her carry permit, so there’s riding and shooting(never together!) to fill in the time.
And kids. Kids–much like our dog, but totally unlike our pythons–want attention. And food. And games. And a freaking overpriced American Girl Doll. And time. So we play games and bring out the Daddy/Daughter date.
In short, since we got our finances in order, I’ve been trying to draw back from being an obsessive workaholic and focus on the reason I became one in the first place: my family.
Indio Downey: The Cost of Drug Addiction
Indio Falconer Downey, the son of actor Robert Downey Jr., was arrested Sunday, June 29, 2014 on drug possession charges. At the time of his arrest, Indio was a passenger in a vehicle that was stopped around 2 PM. At the time of the traffic stop, Indio was found to have what appeared to be cocaine as well as a smoking pipe. He posted bail around 9 PM that evening and was released.
Father’s Drug Problems
Indio’s father had many well-publicized drug addiction problems throughout the 1990s, attending a number of rehab facilities in an attempt to beat his drug addiction. The 49-year old actor says he was introduced to drugs by his father at the age of eight, and by 20 was a full-fledged addict. Just two years after Indio was born in 1994, the actor was stopped by police driving his Porsche on Sunset Boulevard naked and in possession of cocaine, heroin and a .357 Magnum. Just days before he was due to be charged for those crimes, he was arrested after being found passed out in a neighbor’s home. Indio’s father spent 12 months in prison and, in 2000, when Indio was six, Robert Downey Jr. was arrested in a Palm Springs hotel room with cocaine and wearing a Wonder Woman Costume. Before a preliminary hearing could be held on the charges, Indio’s father was arrested for being under the influence of an undisclosed stimulant. Indio’s mother, Deborah Falconer, divorced his father in 2004.
Indio’s Drug Abuse
According to reports, Indio’s father has been helping his son deal with addiction problems for many years. Indio has been in and out of treatment centers, and some reports say he had remained clean and sober for some time, in some part due to his father’s counseling. In 2013, there were reports that Indio was being treated for a “pill problem,” which his mother claimed was not a significant problem. According to Deborah Falconer, Indio was taking “one pill a day” and that he was not addicted. She said Indio was being treated with “holistic, natural and orthomolecular therapy.” After Indio’s arrest on Sunday, however, Robert thanked the Sheriff’s Department for their intervention, stating that there was a “genetic component to addiction” and that “Indio likely inherited it.” Robert has been clean and sober since late 2001.
Children of Addicts
One of the unknown costs of addiction is that children of addicts are eight times more likely to develop an addiction than those whose parents are not addicts. Many studies have confirmed that addiction is a combination of genetics and poor coping skills. In addition, sons of addicted fathers are four times more at risk for developing an addiction than the sons of non-addicted fathers. Much of this is because addicted parents often lack the ability to provide structure or discipline, and the sons of addicted fathers receive harsher discipline than those of non-addicted fathers. These statistics clearly show that the cost of addiction on offspring is high, and indicates why Indio may have turned to substance abuse.
It is clear that this recent arrest shows that Indio may be facing an escalating drug problem, similar to what his father faced in the 1990s. After seeing his father as an addict, as well as the well-known genetic connection regarding addiction, Indio may need intensive therapy in order to fight his addictions.
Related articles
Saturday Roundup – Welcome to Halloween
- Image via Wikipedia
This weekend marks the beginning of Halloween at Casa del Myhouse. We’ll start setting up our yard display tomorrow. If we’re lucky, we’ll be featured on TV again.
Don’t miss a thing! Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email.
The Best Posts of the Week:
Bill and Ted is coming back for another sequel! I don’t know how they can top Bad Robot Ted or the Grim Reaper playing Battleship, but I’m looking forward to it.
Here’s a summary of the first stage of the new, overpriced, under-understood health care plan.
I keep thinking about signing up for a CSA. Here’s some details on how they work.
Frugal Dad talks about “my money“.
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Cheap Vacations was included in the Festival of Frugality. Thanks!
If I missed anyone, please let me know.
5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten. One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits. You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.
How can you do that? Habits aren’t easy to break. Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes. There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
- Commit to just 30 days. I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days. If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is. For just one month, don’t buy anything. I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31. Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy. No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals. Just 1 month.
- Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash. If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card. Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
- Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed. So, I avoid bookstores. My wife has problems with clothing stores. A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment. What are your triggers? What makes you spend money without thinking? Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
- Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good. It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies. The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it. You need to stop that. Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
- Avoid shopping online. E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice. You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying. You just buy. The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks. Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.
Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break. There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits. Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system. How do you avoid or break bad habits?
My First Major Side Hustle
This post was published a year ago as part of Budgets Are Sexy’s Side Hustle series.
On a chilly February day in 2007, I went with a friend to get a permit to carry a pistol. It was partially on a lark, and partially because a right not exercised is a right lost and I am a strong believer in the right to self-defense.
I spent the morning in an overcrowded classroom and the afternoon on an outdoor shooting range when it was -9 degrees Fahrenheit. I was cold numb, but I had the paperwork I needed. As my friend and I slowly thawed out on the drive home, we looked at each other and said “We can do better than that.”
After picking up teaching certifications from the NRA, the Minnesota Dept of Natural Resources, the Minnesota Association of Defensive Firearms Instructors and finally, the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension, we started teaching as Metro Defense Training, LLC.
We’ve been doing this for 3 1/2 years, holding one class per month. In the first two and a half years, we taught about 80 people what they needed to know to legally carry a gun. Last year, it exploded. By March, we had made more money than we made in all of 2009. The rest of the year rocked just as hard. We turned ourselves into one of the top 10 training organizations by volume, among a field of 200 competing agencies.
This isn’t a huge market, and it will never make us rich, but it is bringing us a decent chunk of extra cash. It’s made a huge difference on my debt repayment. I don’t include this money on my budget, so every penny I take as pay goes straight to my debt. This has pushed me two whole years ahead of my debt repayment schedule.
What did we do right?
The most important thing we did was to partner with each other. We make a good team. My partner is a natural-born salesman, while I’m an introvert. I couldn’t have built this without him. I am a super-geek, so our technical costs have been nonexistent, aside from a domain and hosting. I’m also a bit obsessive about my passions, so I keep us up to date on any legal issues and developments. He’s working on an MBA and has run small businesses before, giving us valuable knowledge and experience.
We’ve never cut any corners. We give the best possible class we can, no matter what. No extra fees, or sardine-packed students.
We answer questions for our students for years after class. If a student wants a refresher, they can come back for free as often as they’d like.
Word of mouth has been a godsend. The local sheriff–in the most populous county in the state–recommends us when people call. You can’t buy ads like that.
What did we mess up?
Marketing. If a tree falls falls in the business district, does anyone care? If you run a business, put up some ads or fliers and get the word out. No matter how good your business is, you’ll never make a cent if nobody knows about it.
Scheduling. The nice thing about a business like this is the flexibility. We can run a class whenever we’d like. Unfortunately, we forget to schedule the next class until the end of the current class. We could do better. That still leaves a full month’s notice, but some people have to request time off from work far in advance, or do things like going on vacation.
Would I do it again?
Absolutely. We found an accessible niche that serves a need in the community. We’ve turned a passion into a healthy side income, without having to devote full-time labor to it. The buy-in cost was low. It only cost about $1000 and a few weekends to get the equipment and make our training presentation.
It has been an excellent learning experience. I’ve learned a lot about running a business, and I’ve become something of an expert on the related laws. It’s led to my involvement with a non-profit, which has put me in contact with a number of lobbyists and politicians. I’m learning more about how our legal system works than you’ll ever learn watching C-Span and sending letters. Even if the business failed, I’d still be ahead of the game when you count the skills and knowledge I’ve acquired.
The most important thing I’ve learned is that, when you are looking for a side-hustle, you should find something you care about and chase that until it turns into money. Not every hobby or interest can turn into a paycheck, but many can. Ultimately, you have to do something you care about and care about what you do.
