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A Late-Blooming Career Cut Short: Dennis Farina Passes at 69
Dennis Farina’s acting career was unique in Hollywood as one of the few actors to garner success later in life. This “late-bloomer” started his acting career at 37 years old, after almost 20 years as a Chicago police officer. He
was well known as a character actor, playing a cop on NBC’s “Law & Order,” and one of the only cast members that had been on the police force in real life.
Dennis was born on February 29, 1944 to Italian parents in Chicago. His father, Joseph, was a doctor and an immigrant from Sicily. This leap-year baby would go on to serve 3 years in the military and then to serve his native city as a policeman from 1967 to 1985. He worked mostly in burglary and it was there that he was hired by director Michael Mann as a consultant for the movie “Thief” (1981), starring James Caan. Farina was given a bit part in the movie and would go on to work for Mann in future roles. After a brief stint acting in Chicago theater, he left the police force for a lead role in Mann’s television series “Crime Story” (1986). He also played mobster Albert Lombard in Mann’s other television show, “Miami Vice.”
Farina’s distinguishing looks made him perfect for his roles as a cop or a gangster. He was tall and imposing, with a memorable silver mustache. He worked steadily in both television and the movies after quitting the Chicago police force. His first major movie role was another Michael Mann movie, “Manhunter”(1986), in which he played an FBI agent. This was the first of the Hannibal Lecter films and Farina would go on to star in all three.
Farina’s most memorable movie roles were in 1998’s “Saving Private Ryan” in which he played a colonel who convinces Tom Hank’s character to rescue Private Ryan from the Nazis. He was known for his comedy roles as well as his serious characters. In “Get Shorty,” Farina received an American Comedy Actor award for his performance as “Ray ‘Bones’ Barboni, John Travolta’s rival.
Dennis Farina’s other screen credits include “Out of Sight” with Jennifer Lopez; John Frankenheimer’s “Reindeer Games,” Guy Ritchie’s “Snatch,” as well as the 2008 comedy, “Bottle Shock”. He was narrator for the TV show “Unsolved Mysteries,” replacing Robert Stack as the original host. Farina starred alongside Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in “What Happens in Vegas” (2008). Another comedic role was in HBO’s “Empire Falls,” starring Helen Hunt and Ed Harris. His last recurring TV role was in “Luck,” the 2012 horse racing series.
Farina and his wife of 10 years, Patricia, had three sons. Joseph Farina followed in his father’s footsteps and became an actor. And sadly, Dennis Farina’s second act in life came to a close on July 22, 2013. He was only 69 years old when he died from a pulmonary embolism at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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Bribes vs Rewards
What’s the difference between a bribe and a reward? It’s a question that has been heavily on my mind lately. As a father of three–1, 3 and 10–motivating children occupies a lot of my thoughts. Is it possible to motivate a child and reward good behavior without resorting to a bribe?
First, let’s look at the definitions:
bribe n.
1. Something, such as money or a favor, offered or given to a person in a position of trust to influence that person’s views or conduct.
2. Something serving to influence or persuade.
re·ward n.
1. Something given or received in recompense for worthy behavior or in retribution for evil acts.
2. Money offered or given for some special service, such as the return of a lost article or the capture of a criminal.
3. A satisfying return or result; profit.
4. Psychology: The return for performance of a desired behavior; positive reinforcement.
In my mind, a reward is given either as a goal for planned activity or a surprise for good behavior. When used for surprises, it should never be common enough to be expected. If a child is only behaving because she is expecting a reward, it is bribed behavior. She should always be surprised to get the reward.
Using a reward for goal setting is no different than collecting a paycheck. Is my company bribing me to do the work I do every day? They plan to reward or compensate me for the work I plan to do for them. While that my be blurring the line between compensation and rewards, it is valid. My future paycheck is the motivation for my current work.
Bribes, on the other hand, are reward for bad behavior. If my three-year-old is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store and I promise her candy to stop, I have just taught her that the “reward” for a public tantrum is candy. This is reinforcing negative behavior, which will only escalate in the future. If a temper tantrum earns a candy bar, what will she get for hitting Mommy with a frying pan?
The line is further blurred by preemptive bribes. If I tell my children there will be candy when we get home if they behave in the store, it’s still a bribe. Promising dessert if my son cleans his room is a bribe.
So what is the difference?
Bribes reward negative behavior. Whether that is actual behavior or anticipated behavior, bribes provide a reward for it. If you use a treat to end or preempt bad actions, you are bribing your child.
Rewards celebrate positive behavior. A promised treat for going beyond expectations or a surprise for excellent behavior is a reward. It should never become common, or the child will discover that withholding the positive behavior will generate promises of larger rewards. The goal is to reinforce the good to encourage positive behaviors even when there is no likelihood for reward.
For example, my son’s school is part of a reading contest. Over a two month period, if the students read 500 pages outside of school, they will get tickets to a basketball game. If they are in the top three for pages read, they will get personalize jerseys and on-court recognition. My son did the math and was reading enough to surpass the 500 page goal, but not enough to get into the top three. I offered a prize if he made it to 2500 pages. In my opinion, that’s a reward. He was already going beyond the requirement. I have provided motivation to push himself beyond what he thinks he can do. That’s positive reinforcement of good behavior.
On the other hand, when my eight-year-old was refusing to eat dinner, we offered a cookie for dessert if she ate well. That’s reinforcing negative behavior by giving a reward for misbehaving. A bribe.
Rewards are positive responses to positive behavior to motivate future good behavior. Bribes are rewards for negative behavior, real or anticipated, that only serve to encourage more bad behavior in the future.
AAA – Save Some Cash
- Image via Wikipedia
Have you ever driven off the road at 100 miles per hour into a grove of trees at midnight, only to have 2 cops and your father spend 2 hours looking for your car with high-powered spotlights? Let me tell you–from experience–that a free two will, in fact, make that night a little bit better.
Enter AAA.
At its most basic level, AAA is just a roadside assistance service. If your car breaks down, you lock your keys in, or run out of gas, you call AAA from the side of the road and they send a hero at any time of day or night. I’ve used the service to get a car pulled out of an impound lot and out of a ditch. They’ve helped move broken-down cars from my driveway to the mechanic.
We pay $85 per year for the basic service, which includes 5 miles of towing, up to 4 timers a year; lockout service; gas delivery; “stuck in a ditch” service; free maps, trip planning and trip interruption protection. Higher membership levels boost those services and include things like free passport photos, complimentary car rental when you use the tow service, concierge service and more.
I’ve been a member since I got my driver’s license at 16, and over the years, just the roadside assistance has paid for my lifetime of membership several times over.
But–as the man said–wait, there’s more!
They certify mechanics. Not for skill, but reputation. It’s harder to get screwed by a AAA mechanic.
Then there are the discounts.
Most chain hotels, some oil-change shops, and a lot of car-rental services have AAA discounts. Combined with the trip planning, the discounts can easily pay for themselves, if you travel even once a year.
There are also discounts at a ton of restaurants and attractions, sometimes adding up to savings of $50 or more. I don’t think I’ve ever had a year where AAA didn’t pay for itself, and I don’t even use the services efficiently.
For example:
- 10% off Target.com
- Discounts on Magellen GPS units
- Theater(stage and screen) discounts
- Discounts on minor league baseball and college football tickets
- Prescription savings plan
- $3 of at our local for-profit aquarium
- 10-30% discounts from Dell
- 5% off at UPS
- 20% off at Sirius Satellite Radio
- 10% off PODS(hoarders take notice!)
- 10% at Amtrak
- Up to $200 off at DirecTV
- A crapload more
I know I sound like a salespitch, but they didn’t pay for this post. I’m just a happy customer.
Do you use a roadside assistance or a discount-from-a-million-places membership?
Is It Time For a New Car?
So far this summer, we’ve sold a 1984 Cadillac, a 1994 Mercury Sable, and a 1976 Lincoln Continental.
That’s most of the vehicles we inherited in April.
Now, we’ve got a 2005 Chrysler Pacifica, a 2001 Ford F150, a 2009 Dodge Caliber, and a 1986 Honda Shadow.
According to Kelly Blue Book, the Caliber has a resale value of $10,065 and a trade-in value of $8470.
The F150 is worth $6,418/4,923.
The Pacifica is worth $7,738/$6,093.
The bike is worth about $1,500.
We own all of them, free and clear, right now.
With our current situation, the F150 and the Caliber aren’t working. We have 3 kids. The oldest is 12 and pushing 6 feet tall. He barely fits in the backseat of either and is forced to wedge himself against a car seat if we take either of these vehicles anywhere. Even the front seats don’t have a lot of leg room, and I’m not exactly short or small.
We are also a popular place to hang out and almost always have an extra kid or two on the weekends. Right now, that means we take two cars if we have to go somewhere.
On top of that, my girls ride in a saddle club on borrowed horses. We are planning to buy a horse trailer and (shudder) lease a couple of ponies next summer.
So, our requirements are:
- Seat 7-8 people
- Full-sized 3rd row
- Towing capacity of at least 5000 pounds
- More than 20mpg highway
- Comfortable front seat
Based on our initial research, the Chevy Traverse meets our needs. Depending on the configuration, it seats 7 or 8 people with a full-sized 3rd row, has a 5200 pound towing capacity, and is rated for 24 mpg on the highway. Locally, there is a 2010 model with 50,000 miles for $19,000, which is dead-on with blue book. For another $1500, we can make it all wheel drive and 2011, which is below blue book. Consumer reports rates it pretty high, but Edmunds has some mixed reviews.
We should be able to sell the F150 and the Caliber for $12-13,000. That only leaves about $6,000 left, which we should have after the remodel on our rental property. I’m almost positive we’ll pull the trigger on a new car in the next month or two.
What do you think? Am I missing anything? Any experience with a Traverse? Have a better idea for something that meets our needs? Please leave a comment and help me out.
Buying on Craigslist
On Friday, I talked about selling safely on Craigslist. Today, I’m going to talk about buying safely and getting a good deal.
I love Craiglist. It’s safe to say I’m a fan. We’ve refurnished most of our house for 10-15% of retail by being patient and persistent there. We scored a $1200 oak entertainment center for $200, a beautiful oak headboard/storage thingy for $150, a nice china cabinet for $70 and much, much more. There are a lot of deals to be had, but you have to be careful.
I never buy anything without either a picture or a model number. Stock photos do not count. I want to see an actual picture of the actual item. With electronics, I want the model number so I can tell exactly what features it has. If I can’t positively identify the item, the seller gets an email. If I don’t know what it is, I’m not interested.
Once I have the item identified, it’s time to hit Amazon and Google for a quick price check. Acceptable prices vary, but I’m generally looking for 25% of retail for items that aren’t collectible or antique.
While it’s not a common occurrence for the things I buy, some sellers do lie. The technical term for this is “fraud”. Fraudulent sellers needs to be kicked in the shins. Before I go to actually see an item, I do enough research that I will hopefully be able to pick out a fraud or forgery. The easiest way to tell if the backstory is a lie? If you are given a backstory, it’s probably a lie. Never assume that the seller is telling the truth about the little old lady who only drove her TiVo to church on Thursdays in the summer and never went above channel 10. The story is always a lie. Check the condition yourself. Check the value yourself. If you can’t verify it, it isn’t true.
If you are buying tickets or documents, know what you are looking for to tell if it is a forgery. If you can’t tell, ask the seller to meet with someone you trust who can verify it. Ticketmaster tickets are laminated, so they glare slightly in the light. If you hold the tickets up to a strong light, the white parts will glow blue. Finally, if the ticket looks like it was printed at home, don’t trust it.
[ad name=”inlineleft”]A few months ago, a local couple was trying to buy a car on Craigslist. When they met the buyer, he took their cash and their car and left them on the sidewalk in an unfamiliar neighborhood. The moral of the story? Ride the bus. That, and always meet in a public, well-traveled spot.
If the seller suggest escrow, he’s probably actually the deposed ruler of Nigeria in need of someone to help him get his fortune safely out of the country. You should immediately give him your name, address, social security number, PIN, place of business, all of your bank accounts, and the kidneys of your first-born. He’ll hook you up. Really.
Don’t do that. On the internet, escrow=fraud, almost every time.
Rental fraud is an issue I have absolutely no experience with, but it’s common in places with a competitive housing market. The felonious candidates for extremely prejudiced termination will scan the real estate listings, and post some on Craigslist as a rental unit with a low-ball price. People get excited for the extreme deal, shut off their critical thinking skills, and hand their nest-egg over to someone they’ve never met so they can keep the scam from being snatched up by some sucker who’s just a little bit slower at dumping his wallet into a crowded room on con-artists. It’s a big decision, so take the time to research it and do it right. Find the ownership records and the owner. If you’re buying, get an actual realtor to help you. They are worth the money.
Tips for Buying Safely on Craigslist
Don’t wire money. Ever. If someone suggests that for an internet sale, ask for their address and send a leg-breaker their way. They are trying to steal from you.
Trust your gut. If something smells fishy, it probably is. Walk away.
Don’t ever give out personal information. Nevernevernever. Not your address, not your favorite flavor of chewing-cud, nothing. Keep it private.[ad name=”inlineright”]
Meet in a public place. Criminals tend to dislike witnesses, so go somewhere that has them by the score.
Bring a friend. I may be a bit of a chauvinist or over-protective, but my wife doesn’t bring money to go meet strangers on the internet without me. If your local laws allow it, consider bringing some form of protection with you.
Craigslist can save you a ton of money, but it brings some risk with it. Keep yourself safe.
