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Meditation

Life is crazy.

“Really, Jason, that’s news?”

I spend so much time going in so many different directions.

Cleaning out our inherited hoarding house, managing the remodel, work, side hustles, kids, friends, family, relationships, maintaining our house, maintaining a relationship with my wife, garage sales, school starting, junior high football season, insurance policies, probate, rush hour, insomnia.

Some days, I feel insanely scattered. I can’t focus. I have a hard time making decisions. I waste time.

Those days, I need to clear my head.

That’s where meditation comes in.

I don’t do the money hum. (Om mone padme, Om)

Instead, I have three activities that demand a total focus. They drive out any scattered thoughts or unimportant concerns.

They have to because, quite frankly, they can be dangerous if I don’t concentrate.

1. I shave. I use a double-edged safety razor, so bleeding for the throat is a real concern. For 10 minutes, nothing else in the world matters. It has only recently struck me how valuable this is. That value makes me want to start shaving every day, with a straight razor. More focus, more often.

2. I ride. For the past couple of years, it’s been hard to find time get my motorcycle out. Small children seem to want attention every day. It got to the point where I was ready to sell my bike. This spring, it was seriously misbehaving. Finally, at the end of the summer, a friend got it running better than it ever has. I took it out for a couple of hours and came back feeling more clearheaded than I have in a long time. I won’t be selling my bike until I have its replacement.

3. I shoot. Shooting involves a series of simple actions that require concentration to do well. Load the gun, line up the sights, which eye is dominant, breathe, don’t breathe, squeeze the trigger, hole in the paper. Again, it’s not an activity that’s conducive to worrying about the bills or work. It’s a way to shut out the world for a few minutes.

For me, a few moments or a few hours of shutting down everything except one thing is the way to stay sane and focused.

How do you deal with it when the world comes crashing in from every direction?

What motivates me financially?

Finance, Parenting

This post was originally written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What motivates you to be financially responsible?“

This may not be the most original motivation, but I am financially motivated by my family. Before I had kids, I didn’t care much about money or “stuff”. My goal was to sell everything I owned and backpack Europe. Yeah, it’s a bit cliché, but that’s the way it is. I was also considering trying to live out of saddlebags while touring the country 1000 CCs at a time.

Now, I’ve got so many other considerations. Four, to be exact. A wife and three kids certainly change your perspective. If it doesn’t, you’ve got flaws that I can’t help you with.

When my family started, it was a huge wake-up call. Suddenly, I had responsibilities (cue scary music). Overnight, I had things to care about that didn’t involve a party, or instant gratification, or, well, me. Merlin the Stork floated down, waved a wand and Poof! I was a grown-up. This may not sound like much of a shock, but my wife and I had baby #1 when we were 20. Adulthood was still pretty new to us, and suddenly we’re parents?

As a grown-up, with three precious little monsters dependent on me for absolutely everything, I had to start worrying about their security. This was more than just keeping them physically safe. I’ve had to manage their emotional health, their physical needs, and their entertainment. They rely on me (and my wife!) for everything. How could I live with myself if I couldn’t put food on the table and a roof over their heads? Winter boots? Clothes without holes? Visits to the doctor? Have you ever noticed how much kids cost, even without considering the Japanese fad games and Barbie dreamhouses? Having a kid is like cutting a hole in your wallet and holding it over a blender nestled comfortably in a roaring fire fueled by napalm.

Then, after I’ve got them clothed, fed, sheltered, and entertained, I have to teach them how to be real people. I’m of the opinion that children in their natural state are little more than wild animals. Generally cuter, but that’s about it. It’s a parent’s job to train that ravenous little beast into an acceptable, successful person. Part of that consists of teaching the little brats how to start paying for their own clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment, and how to manage that without becoming a drain on society. Productivity and success can be defined a thousand different ways, but none of them include letting other people pay your way or borrowing money you have no intention or means of repaying. Ultimately, being an adult–being a successful part of society–involves recognizing your responsibilities and living up to them.

Caring for, providing for, and teaching my children the things I know provides me with an irreplaceable opportunity to watch them grow and learn, while giving me a chance to steer that growth. It is, without a doubt, the best, most satisfying, and most difficult thing I have ever done. The pleasure I get from raising my kids reinforces my desire to become the best person I can be.

Really, I just want to be the guy my kids think I am.

A Bit of Christmas Magic

Life

On Thursday, my wife left with my kids and dog. I had to work all day on Friday, so she took off to get an early start on Christmas at my brother’s house. I followed Saturday morning.

Two nights with no whining, and a bed to myself.

Friday afternoon, my wife called to tell me about her day.

When she got to my brother’s, she took her tailgate down to get the suitcases out of the back of her truck. She left the plastic container full of presents in her truck, since we’d be exchanging presents at my parent’s house nearby.

Friday morning, she left to feed her shopping addiction for a few hours.

When she got to the giant store that had our new car seats on sale, she discovered that she had neglected to put the tailgate back up on the truck when she unpacked. This was the box that held most of our budgeting overspend.

Gone.

When she called me, she was retracing her steps, hoping to find the box.

I was upset.

She didn’t find the box on the side of the road.

Gone.

Normally, this would be a strong object lesson in the futility of rampant consumerism. A lot of zen-like “the stuff you own is fleeting”, amidst the wailing of children who are discovering that their Christmas presents evaporated in a ditch somewhere.

Somebody found the box. I don’t know who.

Whoever it was, opened the box and saw the tears of small children inside. She read the name tags and, amazingly, recognized enough of the first names to place the family.

Keep in mind that I live more than 100 miles away, and moved out of the town 15 years ago.

This anonymous Christmas elf brought the box into a nearby gas station, and asked them to call my parents, since the names on the tags matched those of my parents’ grandchildren.

Everything was still in the box.

Everything was still intact.

Anonymous Christmas Elf saved Christmas for my family

How to Build a Business on Cannibalism

Business

Last week, my wife posted on Facebook that she was frustrated with her job hunt.

HUFU: The healthy human flesh alternative.

An hour later, she got a call from someone she hadn’t talked to in 10 years. He wanted to talk about a great business opportunity. He wouldn’t say what it was, but wanted to bring a friend over to discuss it.

Fast forward to last night.

The night my wife agreed to meet with the old friend.

The meeting we forgot about.

So we invited our friend and his friends into the house. We sat down at the dining room table to hear the pitch. Our friend is just getting started so his “friend” delivered the pitch.

While I was waiting for him to explain the business, he was showing us pictures of he and his wife traveling around the country.

Instead of explaining the product, he asked about our most expensive dreams.

Instead of telling us how the marketing worked, he mentioned something about utilizing the internet–and i-Commerce–and talked about changing our buying habits.

Instead of showing us a product, he talked about driving volume and building a team.

There was nothing concrete, but a lot was said to ride on the dreams of people who are frustrated with their income or are living paycheck-to-paycheck.

More than an hour into the presentation, it was revealed that the “product” is a buying portal to allow people to buy Amway products from your personal Amway store.

Freaking Amway.

How do they find your personal Amway store, you ask? I don’t know, because you are supposed to be your own best customer. You make money by buying the products you use anyway, but buy them from Amway. For example, there’s the $10 toothbrush, the $16 baby wipes, or the $38 toilet paper.

For six frickin’ rolls.

Seriously, this stuff is meant to touch my butt once. I don’t need it made from pressed gold.

As for the visual…you’re welcome!

So I sell a kidney to buy enough toilet paper to keep my nether bits clean for a month and I get one point for every $3 I spend. I figure that’s about 50 points per month, given the foot traffic our bathrooms see.

If I hit 100(I think, he didn’t leave the paperwork) points, I get 6%(again, I wasn’t taking notes) back at the end of the next month. For the sake of the math, I’m going to double the number of butts in my house. 100 points means I need to spend $300. That’s 47 rolls of toilet paper. In exchange for this $300–and on top of gold-embroidered silk I now get to flush down the toilet–I’ll earn $18.

I know exactly how much toilet paper I buy right now. Amazon sends me a 48 roll package every other month for $31.42, shipped.

To simplify, Amway is offering me the ability to spend $300 to get $18 plus $31.42 worth of toilet paper. I’m supposed to end my financial worries by turning $300 into $50 every month.

Yay!

[Note to self: Demolish Amway’s business model by starting a company that will let people turn $200 into $50, without the nasty overhead of stocking overpriced crap. A 33% increase in efficiency will make me rich!]

But wait, say the imaginary Amway proponents that I hope aren’t frequenting my site, you’re forgetting the most important part!

Oh really?

There’s also a thing called a “segmented marketing team”. To the rest of the multi-level marketing world, this is known as your downline. If you can con your family and friends into turning their $300 into $50 every month, then help them con their family and friends into turning $300 into $50 every month, you’ll get rich! Amway has apparently figured out a way to share a small fraction of their 600% markup with their victims to make them feel like it’s a business opportunity instead of a robbery.

If I get 9 people in my “business team” and each of them build out their team, I get the coveted title of “Platinum Master” or whatever. All I have to do is sell the souls of 72 people and I can make a ton of money! If each member of my downline turns $300 into $50, Amway will get $18,000. In exchange for delivering those souls, the “average” Platinum Ninja makes about $4500 per month. That’s about $12,000–free and clear–for Amway.

When your business model consists entirely of your sales force doing all of the buying and consuming, it’s not a business model, it’s cannibalism.

Monica Wright Gets Engaged: How Much Ring is Too Much?

Gossip

It’s love in the land of basketball. If you are a true basketball fan, then you have already heard of the recent engagement of NBA star Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder and the WNBA star Monica Wright of the Minnesota Lynx. These star basketball professionals have known each other for years, according to recent press reports. The newly-engaged couple has not decided on a wedding date yet, but everyone who is in the world of celebrity basketball knows that the Durant-Wright wedding is going to be one of the top 2014 weddings.

Mums the word on a lot of the details, and that may be because Durant and Wright are trying to adjust to a time of engagement and are trying to let the excitement of this season soak in a little before going full force into wedding planning. Certainly, their busy game and workout schedules are going to keep them busy and make it difficult to plan a wedding. An engagement period should be a time of relaxing with your loved one and celebrating with family and friends through engagement parties. Durant and Wright are sure to have an all-star line up at both their nuptial celebration parties and their actual wedding, but before they get to the big plans, can we please talk about that ring on her finger?

No one has written about Monica Wright’s ring, and there are few details about how large it is. But from photos, it looks huge. Monica Wright has gorgeous hands, and that massive diamond looks great on her slender basketball woman hands. However, we have to ask celebrities: How much ring really is way too much? Celebrities have money to spend, but it a culture that promotes materialism while most of the country struggles to pay for food and to just get by, can’t big-time stars like Durant and Wright make the decision to make a different kind of statement. Cannot there be a celebrity out there who chooses a small diamond, or better yet, a simple band for an engagement ring? Cannot celebrities put there money into projects and people who really need that money? Does every engagement ring have to be dripping with expensive diamonds?

No one is doubting that Monica Wright is beautiful and talented. No one is doubting that Kevin Durant and Monica Wright together can use their money to help those in need. But they also can make a difficult decision to have a different kind of celebrity wedding and engagement ring. I personally would like to see positive role models like Kevin Durant and Monica Wright take a stand for those who are in need through the unconventional way they approach their upcoming nuptials. Who says that a beautiful wedding and engagement ring has to be worth millions of dollars? It is time for celebrities to think through these issues before they start writing endless checks for extravagant affairs. Congrats to the couple!

The $10 College Fund

Finance, Parenting

I recently started a college fund for my kids. With my oldest getting ready to turn 10, this was a late start. However, when he was born, we were in no position to set aside anything extra.

At least, we didn’t realize we were at the time.

When our oldest son was born, I was 20 years old. I was working in a factory and hadn’t gone to college myself, yet. That’s a situation that makes it hard to justify a college fund. Financial planning and responsibility was to come at a later date.

So, how much do we have in this shiny new college fund? [Read more…] about The $10 College Fund

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