- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Chains of Servitude Update
It’s been almost exactly one year since I told my wife that we were either going to take control of our finances or file bankruptcy.
At that time, we were spending at least $500 more each month than we made, and often, it was $1000 more. We had more than $5000 accumulated on our overdraft line of credit, more than $30,000 in credit card debt, $2500 on a student loan, $12,000 on a car note, and our mortgage.
Our savings were nonexistent. We had automatic deposits established, but we’d transfer the money out right away to cover other expenses. Everything that came up was an emergency and a surprise. We had no real idea how much our lifestyles cost or what it actually took to maintain.
Maintaining our finances took several hours every payday to balance the checkbook and pay bills.
Fast forward 1 year. The student loan is gone, the line of credit will be gone next month, and the car loan will be paid off before the end of the year. We’ve reduced our total debt load by more than 20%.
We have a useful emergency fund and we’re meeting our other savings goals, including a college fund for the kids. We don’t have extremely high balances, but it’s reassuring to have more than a couple of months of expenses in our savings accounts.
We’ve automated almost everything and gone to a cash-only system. I now spend about 20 minutes a month balancing the checkbook and less than 5 minutes paying bills.
A year ago, we were in a hole, digging as fast as we could. Now, we can see the end of the debt tunnel and we are rushing as fast as we can to get there. According to my debt spreadsheet, we will be completely debt free in just under 4 years, ignoring any money coming from our side-hustles and work bonuses.
We’re making better progress than I had hoped for, and it keeps getting easier. Smart spending is becoming a habit, instead of a just wishful thinking.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.
Changing Circumstances
When I started this blog in 2009, I was broke and in debt to my eyeballs. It began as a way to publicly hold myself accountable and vent my need to talk about my money problems.
Those needs are changing for me because my circumstances are changing.
When my mother-in-law died, she left us a big physical mess in her house, but the financial picture is coming out nicely. Even though the details and paperwork have been horribly scattered and difficult to piece together, the end result is significant.
I have 2 side businesses that are not generating enough money to quit my day job, but should be by this time next year.
Right now, I have just under $17,000 in credit card debt. By Monday, it will be $3500. By December, it will be gone.
We’ll be dropping $15-20,000 into modernizing the house we’ve inherited, but then we should be able to rent it out for a net profit of $800 per month.
We paid off the inherited car last night. We haven’t decided if we’ll keep it or sell it.
All told–by the end of the year–we’ll have no debt except our primary mortgage and the additional income stream of a rental property. By the end of next year, our mortgage may be gone.
That’s a significantly different place than the one I started in 3 years ago.
What’s it mean for Live Real, Now?
It’s hard to talk about paying off debt every day when you don’t have debt. I imagine I will post more about making money and increasing the top line rather than shrinking debt and reducing the bottom line.
What’s next? I’m not sure, but I do know that I won’t be going away. You’re stuck with me. What would you like to see?
May 30 Day Project
Before I discuss May’s 30 day project, I’m going to talk about April’s.
Last month, my goal was to declutter my entire house. Every room, every closet, every drawer.
I missed the goal.
My wife has gotten behind this project wholeheartedly. She’s had friends over helping almost every weekend. She’s kept the kids occupied while I’ve been working on it. It’s been a team effort, which has been nice. One room at a time, we’ve tackled the entire house, except for a couple of spots.
Our son’s closet isn’t finished. He hasn’t had use of his closet since we moved him into the room he’s in. It’s been the filing center for a couple of business opportunities. Most of it has been cleared out, but not all. It will be finished in the next few days.
Our storage room isn’t done. It pains me to have a “storage room”, but I don’t think its purpose will be changing. Now, however, instead of unopened appliances and boxes of clothes, it’s almost down to just seasonal stuff and things we do need occasionally. We have the Christmas decorations, the pet crates, and a few other things that get used rarely, but do get used. This room used to have a 6-foot cabinet of computer parts, leftover from the days when building/supporting computers was my main side-hustle. That has been reduce to just one box, mostly power cords. The gaming pads and old hard drives are gone. All that’s left for this room is one shelf, and the remainder of another old side-hustle that has some emotional attachment for my wife.
The remaining trouble spots will be cleaned out by this weekend. We’re having a garage sale the following weekend, and it will all be there. We’ve been pricing as we’ve been sorting, so we’re almost ready.
Decluttering an entire house that’s been filled by the horrible habits of two accumulators means we literally have thousands of things we’ll be selling in two weeks. We split our garage with our roommmate. Our stall is full. We’ve got some stuff in the driveway. We’ve got a pile of boxes in the basement, ready to go. Our dining room is full.
Let me repeat that last point: Our dining room is full.
My project for May was supposed to have been having dinner at the table at least 3 nights per week. At the moment, I’m not entirely sure we still have a table. I certainly can’t see it and there is no way to use it for dinner. This project has to be moved.
So, what’s the plan for May? I’m going to tackle June’s project.
I will not use the computer while anyone else is awake, except for household necessities. Household necessities on the computer are almost nonexistent, since I’ve automated almost everything. I balance the checkbook on a monthly basis, and may have to pay a quarterly bill later this month. I’m going to take the time to be with my family, and do something that matters more than Google Reader. That means writing happens after everyone goes to bed, or at 5AM, which will be motivation to keep that wake-up time. Internet on the blackberry counts as computer use.
Family first.
Blacksmithing, or Quality Time With a Teenager
For the past few months, I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my 16 year old son.
It’s something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while, but my schedule never lined up with the places that teach near me.
Then I forgot about it.
Last year, the History Channel started a new series called Forged In Fire, that made me think about it again. Better, the boy was interested, too.
If you don’t have a teenager, here’s some interesting information that’s almost universal: teenagers suck. You spend a dozen years of your life essentially doing everything for them. Then one day, they have their own interests and want nothing to do with their parents. I get it, it’s good for them to be independent and all, but it sucks for the parent who wants to spend time with the kid.
Enter blacksmithing. I’m interested, the boy’s interested, and I’ve dropped most of my side projects to have more time for my family and myself. Let’s do this.
Class number 1: 5 miles away, teaches Tuesday evenings at the height of rush hour. That’s a 45 minute 5 mile drive. It costs $350 each for an 8 session class, that I’d have to leave work early for and would cut into the kid’s homework.
Class number 2: 15 miles away, teaches full-day classes over eight consecutive Saturdays…for $120 each. That’s awesome. Except they book their entire year’s calendar of classes within 3 days of posting the schedule for the year. When they got my paper registration in the mail(seriously, paper? In 2015?), they called to tell me we were 6th on the waiting list.
Class number 3: 2 hours away. Full day classes on Saturdays. Held every Saturday, so we could come on our schedules. Cost $100, but $200 total for a class as we want them is way more affordable than the $700 up front for class #1. I’m sold.
Four classes into it, I find out that that’s the most classes I can pay for. I’m still welcome to use the facility, but now I have to supply my own charcoal. From here on out, it’s $50 for gas and $20 for charcoal to forge all day…and still get taught. If we pass some tests, we can officially join and sell our creations in the gift shop.
Totally sold.
So now, the boy and I are making the drive once a month. We talk during the drive, we work together on the forge. I love my kid, and I love spending time with him. I love making things, and I love sharing that love with my kids. In a few years, he’ll move out, but he’ll remember this for the rest of his life. It’s worth every cent.
Deathbed Regrets
A friend recently pointed me to an article written by a hospice nurse. This nurse spent her career working with people who were dying, beyond recovery, and aware of it. Her job, primarily, was to provide comfort, whether that be physical or emotional.
During her conversations, she found several themes when her patients discussed their regrets and she lists the 5 most common regrets in her article.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I don’t see this one being an issue for me. While I did buy in to a standard life template (college, wife, kids, suburbs, office, etc.), I am me. I am undeniably me.
I’d be delusional to think that I wasn’t a bit…different. I see things differently than a lot of other people, I react differently, and I’m vocal about it. That sometimes makes it hard to get close to me. I doubt anyone who is close to me would argue with that.
I also tend to do things. Most people talk about doing things, I try to make them happen. “I wish I were out of debt”, “Honey, I want to start a business”, “Let’s drop 40 pounds this year”, or “I want to build a trebuchet”. I think I know why my wife gets nervous when I say “I have an idea”.
I may not be running anyone else’s script, but at the end of the day, I’d regret not doing things more than I’d regret trying them.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This one is a personal struggle for me. I’m scared of missing my children grow up. I hate the idea of looking back and finding my children as adults, with few memories of how they got there.
At the same time, I’ve got a pile of debt I need to get rid of before I can dial back too far. I could quit my job tomorrow, but that wouldn’t be providing a good life for them.
My worry, and the worry of some people close to me, is that, once the debt is gone, I won’t be able to let go of my extreme work hours, even though I’m working so hard now to be able to work less later. “Later”, in this case, means a couple of years, not retirement.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Ugh. Feelings. If this is a standard deathbed regret, I’m screwed. My loved ones know I love them, but other than that, I’m happy to be in control of myself.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I do. It’s not always close contact, but it is contact.
I’m of the opinion that life’s too short to spend time with people you dislike, so some people have been relegated to the past. My friends, my family, my loved ones are a part of my life, even if it’s occasionally months between emails or years between visits.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I think I do pretty well on this front, too. Happiness is a choice. I could worry about all of the things that aren’t perfect, or I could enjoy the things I have. I choose to enjoy what I’ve got, even while trying to improve the rest.
In the words of Denis Leary : “Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That’s it, ok! [You] eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to…work, ok!? That is it!”
Happiness isn’t a hobby farm, a new job, or a dream vacation. Happiness is a date with my wife, or cuddling with my kids to Saturday morning cartoons, or taking my son to the range.
Happiness is the things I’m doing now, not the dreams I’m hoping for someday.
