- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Saturday Roundup
First, the shameless self-promotion:
If you want to see the glorious wisdom that is my Twitter feed, follow me on Twitter. I’m @LiveRealNow.
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Next, for the part you’re here for…
The Cute War.
Budgeting In the Fun Stuff guest-posted here a few days ago. The post was about her dog. Nicole asserted that her kittens were cuter than BFS’s pug. There is some personal risk involved for me, but my pets are cuter. The proof:
The Best Posts of the Week:
Frugal Dad discusses What to Do When Your Beneficiaries are Minors. We settled this by not making our minor children the beneficiaries. If we both leap off the mortal coil at once, my Dad gets the money. I trust him to take care of my kids with it. No, Dad, you can not work on my brakes.
Marko found a fascinating photo series of WWII war photos overlaying modern pictures of the same location. It’s kind of creepy in places.
My favorite dinosaur has a child has been reclassified as a child itself, not an actual dinosaur. That makes youthful me very sad.
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Both the Carnival of Personal Finance and the Yakezie Carnival included Selling Your Home: For Sale by Owner.
The Festival of Frugality has It’s Better to Buy a House than Rent.
If I missed a carnival, please let me know.
Deathbed Regrets
A friend recently pointed me to an article written by a hospice nurse. This nurse spent her career working with people who were dying, beyond recovery, and aware of it. Her job, primarily, was to provide comfort, whether that be physical or emotional.
During her conversations, she found several themes when her patients discussed their regrets and she lists the 5 most common regrets in her article.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I don’t see this one being an issue for me. While I did buy in to a standard life template (college, wife, kids, suburbs, office, etc.), I am me. I am undeniably me.
I’d be delusional to think that I wasn’t a bit…different. I see things differently than a lot of other people, I react differently, and I’m vocal about it. That sometimes makes it hard to get close to me. I doubt anyone who is close to me would argue with that.
I also tend to do things. Most people talk about doing things, I try to make them happen. “I wish I were out of debt”, “Honey, I want to start a business”, “Let’s drop 40 pounds this year”, or “I want to build a trebuchet”. I think I know why my wife gets nervous when I say “I have an idea”.
I may not be running anyone else’s script, but at the end of the day, I’d regret not doing things more than I’d regret trying them.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This one is a personal struggle for me. I’m scared of missing my children grow up. I hate the idea of looking back and finding my children as adults, with few memories of how they got there.
At the same time, I’ve got a pile of debt I need to get rid of before I can dial back too far. I could quit my job tomorrow, but that wouldn’t be providing a good life for them.
My worry, and the worry of some people close to me, is that, once the debt is gone, I won’t be able to let go of my extreme work hours, even though I’m working so hard now to be able to work less later. “Later”, in this case, means a couple of years, not retirement.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Ugh. Feelings. If this is a standard deathbed regret, I’m screwed. My loved ones know I love them, but other than that, I’m happy to be in control of myself.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I do. It’s not always close contact, but it is contact.
I’m of the opinion that life’s too short to spend time with people you dislike, so some people have been relegated to the past. My friends, my family, my loved ones are a part of my life, even if it’s occasionally months between emails or years between visits.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I think I do pretty well on this front, too. Happiness is a choice. I could worry about all of the things that aren’t perfect, or I could enjoy the things I have. I choose to enjoy what I’ve got, even while trying to improve the rest.
In the words of Denis Leary : “Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That’s it, ok! [You] eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to…work, ok!? That is it!”
Happiness isn’t a hobby farm, a new job, or a dream vacation. Happiness is a date with my wife, or cuddling with my kids to Saturday morning cartoons, or taking my son to the range.
Happiness is the things I’m doing now, not the dreams I’m hoping for someday.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-12
- @ScottATaylor Thanks for following me. in reply to ScottATaylor #
- RT @ChristianPF: 5 Tips For Dealing With Your Medical Debt http://su.pr/2cxS1e #
- Dining Out vs Cooking In: http://su.pr/3JsGoG #
- RT: @BudgetsAreSexy: Be Proud of Your Emergency Fund! http://tinyurl.com/yhjo88l ($1,000 is better than $0.00) #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-12
3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget
- Image via Wikipedia
One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget. You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other. If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do. If not, yay!
Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand. When you do, you’ll find out it sucks. With good reason.
1. It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget. That one will be easier. For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due. Don’t be surprised when you miss some. I missed a couple of our quarterly bills. All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.
2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding. You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions. Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news. When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it. That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole. Find the problems and rip ’em out. Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants. It’s time to take an honest look at your situation. If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?
3. It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it. Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy. Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.” Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later. When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.
Why do you hate your budget?
5 Ds of Identity Theft
Identity theft is, at its most basic level, the act of using someone else’s identity or credit without permission. From a stolen credit card to a forged phone bill in Moscow, it all involves your good money paying for the bad habits of another. Thankfully, there are ways to reduce the odds of having your identity stolen. LTC David Grossman reviews the “5 Ds of Survival” in his seminars and books. Today, I bring you the 5 Ds of Identity Theft.
In the words of the master, “Denial has no survival value.” Denying the possibility of identity theft will not keep it from happening. You have to take steps to keep yourself safe. “It could never happen to me” is not a valid defense mechanism in any situation, financial or otherwise.
Deterrence means keeping the information away from identity thieves. The harder it is for the criminals to get your information, the more likely it is that they will move on to an easier target. And yes, a kid stealing Grandma’s credit card is a criminal and needs to be treated as such.
- Some people use a shredder, but not me. I have a fire pit that catches all of my personal documents. I’d like to see an thief get my social security number from the ashes in the bottom of the pit.
- Don’t carry your social security card. If you lose your wallet, your driver’s license and social security card contain all of the information needed to steal your identity. Keep it locked up at home and don’t give the number out unless absolutely necessary.
- Don’t use stupid passwords. Anything listed on yourFacebook profile or otherwise available on Google in association with your name is a stupid password. Don’t make life easy for the people looking to screw you. Your birthdate, maiden name, and “password” all qualify as stupid passwords. Use KeePass to securely generate and store your passwords.
- Lock up your personal information. I throw two large parties every year. Purses and wallets get stored in a locked bedroom, so nobody can grab them. That was a lesson learned the hard way. If there’s someone in your home you don’t trust absolutely, lock up anything that can be used against you.
- Don’t release personal information to anyone, for any reason, unless you have initiated the contact. Don’t give a credit card number to a telemarketer. Don’t give a spammer your personal information. It’s your privacy, use it.
- Don’t click anything in an email. If it’s a company you have a relationship with, type the address in your browser by hand.
Detection is up to you. Some credit card companies will alert you to suspicious purchases, but you can’t rely on it. I was once called because I went to the gas station and Best Buy, which is apparently a common pattern for a stolen credit card.
- Examine your credit card statements. If there’s a purchase you don’t recognize, find out what it is.
- Watch for bills to arrive as expected. You do know when you pay the gas bill every month, right?
- Watch for unexpected bills to arrive. If you get a statement for a credit card you don’t have, it’s a problem.
- Check your credit report three times per year. AnnualCreditReport.com will let you see each of the three major credit reports each year. Space them out so you see your report every 4 months.
Defending your identity happens after you’ve detected a theft. This involves getting your credit and sometimes, your money, back.
- File a fraud report with the credit bureaus. This will force potential creditor to follow certain procedures before opening new credit accounts for your identity, including calling your cell phone, if you choose. Stop the identity theft in its tracks.
- Close the fraudulent accounts. Don’t leave them open for abuse.
- File a police report and report the fraud to the FTC at ftc.gov/idtheft . This may or may not help catch the criminal, but without it, there will never be a punishment. Make stealing your identity an expensive proposition. Hopefully, 1o years of his life will be wasted in jail in return for the theft.
Destroy. Unfortunately, fraud and identity theft are not yet capital crimes. Maybe someday.
Deter, detect, defend. These are the secrets to avoiding, and recovering from, identity theft.
