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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

How to Cut Costs on Legal Fees

Finance

Occasionally, life goes truly pear-shaped and you’re forced to enter the legal system.

Even if you’re not embroiled in a tawdry, tabloid-fodder divorce, there are still legal issues that everyone needs to address, without exception.

The problem? Or rather, one of many, if you’re having legal problems?

Lawyers are expensive.

Before I go any further:

If you are having criminal court issues, get a lawyer. Get the best possible lawyer. Really. The cost does not compare to a lifetime in jail, or even 10 years. If you’re facing jail, get the best dang attorney you can find.
I am not only not an attorney, but I’ve never even played one on TV. I have driven past a law school a couple of times, but never stopped in. I do know several attorney, carry the business cards of a couple and have a couple on my speed dial, just in case. If any of them thought I was giving legal advice, I’d be in trouble. To reiterate: I am not an attorney. This is not legal advice.
Don’t do a prenuptual agreement at home. A prenup will almost always be found unenforceable if both parties don’t have an attorney.

Where was I? Ah, yes. Lawyers are expensive, but there are ways to mitigate that.

There a couple of things you can handle yourself.

Small claims court, also known as conciliation court. Typical cases in conciliation court include cases involving sums under $7500(varies by state) that involve unpaid debts or wages, claims by tenants to get a security deposit, claims by landlords for property damage, or claims about possession or ownership of property. Fees and procedures vary by state, but generally cost less than $100 to file. The procedures for your state can be found by googling “small claims court” and the name of your state.

Small worker’s compensation cases can be handled yourself, if they don’t involve a demotion or termination related to the injury.

Apartment and car leases are usually simple and straightforward. Read them carefully, but you probably won’t need a lawyer.

You can probably handle your own estate planning and will writing with some decent software. I love Quicken Willmaker. It walked me through a detailed will that takes care of my kids, and gave me advice on financing their futures in the horrible event that I am tragically killed before my wonderousness can fully permeate the world. It also contains forms for promissory notes, bills of sale, health care directives and more. If you have extensive property, I’d still seek an attorney’s advice, but I’d bring the Willmaker will with me to save some time and money.

Purchase agreements. A few years ago, I sold a truck to a friend and accepted payments. I made a promissory note and payment schedule. When he quit paying or calling me, that paperwork was enough to get the state to accept the repossession when I took the truck back.

A simple no-fault divorce is actually pretty painless, on the scale of divorce pain. Again, the procedures vary heavily by state.

Other resources for finding legal information free or cheap include www.legalzoom.com and www.nolo.com.

Have you had to do any of your own legal work? How did it work out?

How We Handled The Windfall

Finance

Landlord (Photo credit: FletchtheMonkey)

Three years ago, my mother-in-law died. She didn’t have a will, but that’s a story for another day.

My wife, being an only child, inherited everything. All of the assets, and all of the problems.

She inherited the house, which was completely paid off. That was nice.

My mother-in-law was a hoarder who didn’t buy into the idea of maintaining your property. That was not nice.

Between the life insurance policies and the ready cash, she inherited about $60,000. Also nice.

It’s all gone. Not so nice.

Now, I know you’re asking where it went. Lucky for you, that’s what this post is about.

We paid off the last $10,000 of our credit card debt, and haven’t accumulated a balance since. Now our cards are paid off in full every month.

We put $5,000 down on the Chevy Tahoe we bought in 2012 and paid off in full 9 months later.

Every last cent of the rest went into the house we inherited.

Huh? 45 fricking grand to get the house ready to rent?

Yep.

$3000 to clear out the brush and landscape the yard
A few hundred to have the hardwood floors sanded, stained, sealed, and buffed
An intense carpet-cleaning
Painting every single room
3 large dumpsters to handle the garbage we pulled out of the house
New refrigerator
New washing machine
New boiler
New stove
New patio door
New locks for the doors and windows
Security lights
Food for all of our helpers whom we can never thank enough
Finishing the basement

All of that pretty, pretty money, gone in less than a year.

What did we get out of it? A rentable asset that is bringing in $1200 every month, with minimal work.

We could have chosen to sell the place, but we would have had to do nearly all of that work, anyway, so it wouldn’t have saved anything.

I like having the new stream of income, even though it will take several years to turn a profit. That house isn’t going anywhere, and since it’s only 3 miles from Minneapolis and 5 miles from downtown Minneapolis, it will always be an in-demand area for renters.

It was just a lot of work turning it into a useful property instead of a year-long drain on time, patience, and money.

Cheap Drugs – How I Saved $25 in 3 Minutes

Finance

: Image by cackhanded via Flickr

Today, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a couple of prescriptions. I always get the generics, because they are less than half the price of the name-brands, while still being chemically identical. That’s not what I’m talking about, although it did save me about $75 today.

When the pharmacist rang up my medications, the total came up to $35. That just wasn’t right.

Many chain pharmacies have gone to a cheap pricing model for generic drugs. That usually means $4-6 per monthly prescription. Cub Foods doesn’t have that.

So I asked for the price match.

Cub Foods matches prices on generics with whatever large pharmacy is nearby. In this case, they matched Target’s prices, bringing the price from $35 to $10. Instant $25 savings. I just had to wait for them to look up my prescriptions in their match-book.

Pharmacies with cheap generics:

K-Mart offers a 3 month supply for $15.

Target and Wal-Mart both have a 30-day supply for $4.

Publix offers a 14-day prescription for some antibiotics for free. That’s insane! It’s also a heckuva way to get people in the door. “Why don’t you shop for half an hour while I fill your scrip?”

If your pharmacy is anywhere near any of these stores, call and ask if they’ll match the price for generic drugs.

A few tips:

Before you go get your cheap drugs, call ahead and make sure what you need is on the cheap list. Don’t assume.

You won’t be able to use your insurance to buy the cheap generics. The overhead in insurance processing would mean that the pharmacies would be operating at a loss for each prescription. You can’t make that up in volume. Between our copays and deductibles, it’s far cheaper to just pay the generic price without involving the insurance company.

Don’t be afraid of generics. It’s not like Nike. Generics are chemically identical to the name brands. There are two differences: the price and the letter stamped on the side of the pill.

The stores offering cheap drugs are generally bigger stores hoping to use the drugs as a loss leader. Places like Walgreens or CVS make up to 70% of their profits from the pharmacy. They can’t stay open treating that as a loss leader.

How do you save money on prescriptions?

Medical Costs and Choices

Finance, Parenting

: Image via Wikipedia

I’m not a bad father.

Last spring, we noticed my son had a wandering eye. One of his eyes would just drift when he was looking at something. It was happening consistently, so we brought him to the eye doctor. After an exam, we found out that his eyes were 20/100. The doctor said that getting him classes may be enough to fix the wandering eye problem. The theory was that his eye was drifting because his eyes weren’t able to focus. Bringing the world into focus could have let his eyes train themselves to work right.

Nine months with glasses later, the problem hasn’t gone away, so we went back to the eye doctor.

He’s got alternating exotropia. His eyes aren’t working well together. One eye will focus, and the other will drift. So now we’re looking into vision therapists.

A friend went through something similar with his kid, so I asked him for the name of the doctor he used. He gave it to me and told me the clinic was the best in the business, and I would be paying for that. I asked about the cost and was handed the doctor’s spiel about how sad it is that parents focus more on the cost of care than getting the best possible care.

What a load of crap.

First of all, that’s a sales pitch. Of course the doctor is going to defend his prices. If his prices are exorbitant(I don’t have a basis for comparison) and he can’t defend them, people will go elsewhere. $3000 isn’t pocket change. That’s a significant chunk of change. Refusing to look at your options is irresponsible.

Second, price does not equal quality. There are a ton of things that are overpriced garbage. Not only do scam artists abound, but some legitimate things are are horribly overpriced at one location and reasonably priced at others. To stay on the vision theme, my $10 glasses are every bit as high quality as any $400 pair I’ve ever owned. The difference between generic and brand-name drugs? The label and the price. The FDA requires they be chemically identical to be sold. If you insist on the brand name because it’s “better”, you are flushing your money down the toilet. If you live by “you get what you pay for” you are guaranteed to get ripped off.

Third, balancing cost and treatment doesn’t mean I care less. Yes, I am killing my debt as fast as I can right now. Even when I was willing to use a credit card, I wouldn’t drop $3000 without considering my options. I have an entire family to consider, not one problem that my kid doesn’t even notice. Grr. I hate getting told–implicitly or otherwise–that I am a bad parent because I don’t choose to waste my money the way other people do. I’ll check out my options first, thank you.

Now, I will pay for the best when it is warranted. My wife wants Lasik and mentioned some sale some company was having. No. The guy sticking a laser and a scalpel in my eye will not be the lowest bidder. When I left the gene pool, I went to one of the top guys in the state for the procedure. When those things screw up, it’s permanent.

Vision therapy? Not so much. If it comes to surgery, we’ll go with the best. But it’s not there, yet. My kid is going to get a series of eye exercises, no matter where we go. Even if I go to some back alley vision therapist with a degree from a Nigeria U, what’s the worst case scenario? We may have to try someone else. Since I will be doing a bit more research than that, odds are better that my kid will get exactly the same therapy regimen for 1/4 of the cost. That’s the difference between a perfectly competent doctor and a perfectly competent doctor who convinced some trade magazine to write him up as the best in the business.

What do you think? Am I neglecting my kid by wanting to save some money for his braces, too?

Kim Kardashian’s Baby Has It Easy: How Much Does It Cost To Have a Baby?

Celebrities

If you have not heard that Kim Kardashian has officially given birth to baby North West with rapper boyfriend Kanye West, you have probably been hiding under a rock.

Baby North was welcomed to the world several weeks early on June 15, and since then has been showered with thousands of dollars in gifts from family and celebrity friends like Beyonce and Jay-Z. Saying that baby North will never want for anything materialistic is putting it lightly, but how much does it truly cost for the average person to have a baby in today’s modern age? Here is a brief breakdown that will help you start saving before you start planning to have your very own precious baby.

The Hospital Bills and Doctor Visit Costs

While you probably will not have to pay for your prenatal and post-natal care out-of-pocket, the average insurance plan does come with out-of-pocket percentages that you must pay when you are hospitalized or when you visit the doctor. If you did not account for the medical bills when you were budgeting for baby, this is the first financial roadblock you will run into. You might not give labor in a luxurious suite like Kardashian, but it will feel like you did when you get the bill. Most parents report spending about $2000 out-of-pocket for the delivery and the hospital stay. This does not include the cost for co-pays for doctor visits. If you do not have insurance, expect to spend about $10,000 for a vaginal birth or $16,000 for a cesarean section, assuming there are no complications.

The Costs of Caring for a Newborn Baby

You will get some great gifts at your baby shower, but you still will spend money on the necessities. If you are not lucky enough to get $7000 gifts from your friends like Kanye and Kim, you should allot a budget for the big items first, and the basic daily necessities second. You will need a crib, a stroller, a car seat, and eventually a highchair, but these items are not as expensive as you might think. If you can pass up the designer brands, you can find great deals at consignment stores or retailers. Thrifty shoppers can purchase the must-haves like car seats, baby monitors, changing tables, cribs and strollers for $450 or less.

In addition to the immediate necessities, you will incur other regular expenses for diapers, clothing, wipes and childcare. Kim and Kanye may be guilty of buying $50 onesies, but you do not have to have custom Gucci clothing made for your little one. Remember that your baby will grow out of their infant clothing in a month or less. Accept hand-me-downs, and you can save quite a bit of money. Diapers, on the other hand, are a re-occurring expense that will not go away. Expect to spend at least $80 to $100 per month on diapers and wipes until your baby is potty trained. If you are not breastfeeding, allot about $100 per month for formula until your baby advances to baby food.

Kim and Kanye may have plenty of money to give Baby North whatever her heart desires, but new parents can raise a baby on a reasonable budget. It is difficult to put an actual number on how much it costs to have a baby, but being a parent is not cheap. Keep the fact in mind that love and affection is much more valuable than the material things. Consider the real costs of being a parent, and this includes lifestyle costs and monetary costs.

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The Hospital Bills and Doctor Visit Costs

The Costs of Caring for a Newborn Baby

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