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A Moment of Clarity
- Image by Matt Stratton via Flickr
Ten years ago, I buried myself in debt. There was no catastrophic emergency or long-term unemployment, just a series of bad decisions over the course of years.
We bought a (short) series of new cars, a house full of furniture, electronics, hundreds of books and movies, and so much more. We threw a wedding on credit and financed an addition on our house. We didn’t gamble or drink it away, we just spent indiscriminately. We have a ton of stuff to show for it and a peeling credit card to prove it.
What changed?
In October 2007, we found out brat #3 was on the way. Don’t misunderstand, this was entirely intentional, but our…efficiency caught us by surprise. It took several years to get #2. We weren’t expecting #3 to happen in just a couple of weeks. #2 wasn’t even a year old when we found out she was going to be a big sister. That’s two kids in diapers and three in daycare at the same time.
The technical term for this is “Oh crap”.
I spent weeks poring over our expenses, trying to find a way to make our ends meet, or at least show up in the same zip code occasionally.
I finally made my first responsible financial decision…ever. I quit smoking. At that point, I had been smoking a pack a day or more for almost 15 years. With the latest round of we’re-going-to-raise-the-vice-tax-to-convince-people-to-drop-their-vices-then-panic-when-people-actually-drop-their-because-we-made-them-too-expensive taxes, I was spending at least $60 per week, at least.
Interesting side story: A few years ago, Wisconsin noticed how many Minnesotans were crossing the border for cheap smokes and decided to cash in by raising their cigarette taxes. The out-of-state market immediately dried up. Econ 101.
So I quit, saving $250 per month.
Our expenses grew to consume that money, which we were expecting. (Remember, we were expecting a baby!) Unfortunately, our habits didn’t change. We still bought too much, charged too much on our credit cards, and used our overdraft protection account every month. At 21% interest!
Nothing else changed for another year and a half. My wife would buy stuff I didn’t like and we’d fight about it. I’d buy stuff she didn’t like and we’d fight about it. When we weren’t arguing about it, we’d just silently spend it all as fast as we could.
Bankruptcy was looming. We had $30,000 on our credit cards and our overdraft protection account was almost maxed out. Have you ever thought you’d have to sell your house quickly?
One day, while I was researching bankruptcy attorneys, I ran across Dave Ramsey. When I got to daycare that evening to pick up the kids, I noticed they had The Total Money Makeover on the bookshelf, so I asked to borrow it.
I read the book twice, had a very frank discussion with my wife about the possibility of bankruptcy, and we set out on the path to financial freedom together.
What made you decide to handle your finances responsibly? Or, perhaps more importantly, what’s holding you back?
Single Income Family
Effective next week, we are officially a single-income family.
If you can count all of my side-hustles as “single income”.
This week, my wife did the paperwork for her final week of state-sponsored unemployment. She also applied for the federal extension, but that’s not automatic.
In a nutshell, this reduces our monthly income by $1340.
What does that mean for us?
1. Our truck, which I was hoping to have paid off by March(3 months ago), still has about 7 regular-sized payments left. Instead of making double payments, we’re now making the schedule amount. The reason for the payoff delay is another post entirely. Savings: $400. In a pinch, we could stop making payments for almost 3 years due to how much we’ve already paid.
2. The riding lessons I use to spoil my girls are cut in half. Instead of weekly lessons, we’re going bi-weekly. Savings: $100. In a pinch, this could go away completely.
3. We had a conversation that included, “Honey, when I complain that you bought more than our weekly budget of food in one trip, I’m not being a dick. Here’s how much money we have.” That conversation appears to have been productive.
4. No vacation this year. We let our spending jump a couple of times this year, so last week, I dropped most of our vacation fund to make up for it. The expense of being matron-of-honor at a wedding will be an upcoming post, too.
[Edit]
5. My wife is working at our daycare provider 2 days per week in exchange for daycare discounts. Financially, this isn’t perfect, but it cuts the cost and gets the girls out of the house. I work from home and have a hard time keeping them out of the office.
6. We are considering long-term stay-at-home status for my wife.
[End Edit]
Right now, our budget says we make $100 more than we spend. That includes all of our savings goals, and setting aside money for some luxuries like our Halloween party. We’re not hurting–which makes me happy–but we do have to watch our expenses in a way that has just become mandatory.
I can’t tell you how happy I am to have renters. Between our roommate here and the renters in the house we fixed up last year, we’re adding about $1000 to our income. Rent is keeping us cash-flow positive.
The Value of Hiding Money From Your Spouse
I have a confession, but it’s probably not going to be a big shocker if you read the title of this post.
I hide money from my wife.
Some of you just started screaming at your monitor that I’m a horrible person.
That’s cool.
You’re wrong, but the fact that I got that reaction out of you makes me smile.
Ok, I might be a little bit horrible, but not because I hide money.
My wife has an admitted shopping problem. If she thinks we’re broke, she shops less. That’s a win and allows me to save up for our long-term goals and provide for our financial security.
I don’t lie about it. If she asks how we’re doing, I tell her. At least in general terms.
But I didn’t tell her about my annual bonus, until we had a bunch of car repairs come up that would have swamped our emergency fund.
I also haven’t told her about the cash I’ve been stockpiling.
A couple of years ago, the power went out here for four days. It wasn’t just our house, it was 75% of everything within 5 miles of our house.
When the power came on in some places after a day or two, the phone lines were still down, which meant gas stations couldn’t process credit cards.
Quick, look in your wallet and tell me how much cash you have on you….
Most people live on their credit or debit cards.
Could you buy food or water if your plastic was gone?
I could that week, but not for long, so I started taking the cash payments from my side hustle and putting it aside. I’d come home, give my wife a little cash, keep a little cash for myself, and put at least 80% of it away. I absolutely refuse to touch that money for anything.
Part of the “set it aside and forget about” means not revealing its existence. It would be too easy to dip into it to pay the pizza guy or when we go to Rennfest.
So I don’t talk about, and it gets to sit all by itself in the safe, comfy and warm. It’s my security blanket, and nobody gets to touch my binky.
30 Day Project Update – January
For those who don’t remember–or are just tuning in–I am doing a 30 Day Project every month this year, sometimes two. For the month of January, I am doing two projects. I am waking up at 5AM every day, and I had planned to read to my kids every night before bed.
Waking up hasn’t been that difficult. I’m tempted to snooze the alarm, but I haven’t done that yet. My routine has been to wake up at 5, watch or read the news until I am fully awake, have breakfast, get ready for work, read all of the websites I follow in Google Reader, then get the kids ready. Until this month, my routine was to get up at 6:30, rush to get ready, rush more to get the kids ready, head out the door. This has been more relaxing and it let’s me start my workday fully awake, which wasn’t happening before. I’m hoping to get some writing time in there and next month, exercise time. The interesting thing is that I haven’t adjusted what time I go to bed by much, so this has actually added 90 minutes to my day.
It’s been interesting. I’m dead tired at 9PM, but I’m surprisingly wide awake by 5:30. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as I had feared. I’m looking forward to spring, when I can greet the sunrise.
Reading hasn’t gone as well. At the beginning of the month, I told the girls I would read to them every night. We started out wonderfully. Then, the real world came in uninvited. I had a meeting at school that ran late. My son’s wrestling season started. Things just kept getting in the way of a bedtime story. The solution? We modified the deal. It’s not a bedtime story any more. I am reading to the girls whenever there is time. I may not be home at bedtime every day, but I am certainly home at other times. We’re making it happen, even if it’s not exactly as planned.
It’s just a demonstration of the old rule: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. A small amount of flexibility has turned a potentially failed goal into happy family time. It’s still a win.
How are your resolutions progressing?
Insane Incentives
Spring is in the air.
At my son’s school, that means it’s time for the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment tests. These are the standardized tests created by the No Child Left Behind Act that determine if a school is doing its job in educating children. If too many kids have lousy scores, the school gets put on the “Adequate Yearly Progress” list and will eventually get penalized financially.
That creates a perverted incentive in the school system. The main metric for a publicly-funded school’s success in Minnesota is the MCA. If a school can churn out illiterate trench-diggers, they will get increased funding as long as the test scores are good.
For a full two weeks before this test, the school effectively shut down the education program to prepare for the MCA test. That’s two weeks of studying for a set of standardized tests that focus on reading, writing, and arithmetic. I’m a fan of schools prioritizing the three Rs over other subjects, but that’s not what they did.
They spent two weeks studying testing strategies, not the material contained in the test.
In science class, they covered essential scientific elements like “Answer all of the easy questions first, so you can go back and spend time on the hard ones later.”
Spanish class covered verb usage similar to “When the time is almost out on the test, answer ‘C’ for all of the hard questions you have left, que?”
They weren’t being educated, they were learning the most effective way to solve a test to gain funding for next year.
For 2 weeks.
That’s not reading practice, or reviewing the parts of speech, or covering the necessary math skills. It’s “This is a #2 pencil. This is a circle. Practice until lunch.”
Is this really what NCLB was trying to accomplish? Standardized tests to measure school proficiency should be a surprise. Let’s randomly send in test proctors to take over a school for a day and see what the kids have actually learned.
