- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
$1,000,000 Business Idea
I’m sick of working my day job.
I’m sick of working my side hustles.
I’m sick of working.
To make up for all of that, I’m going to launch a new business. My business model is guaranteed to generate $1,000,000 in revenue the first month.
Seriously.
It’s going to be a father/son enterprise, and to prove that the business model scales, I’m going to help him generate another $1,000,000 in revenue the first month.
This plan is infinitely replicable and infinitely scalable. Steal my business plan and you can have a million dollar business, too.
Ready?
First, my son is going to sell his XBox for $100. Yes, he’s taking a loss, but that’s the cost of getting into the business. Oh, and he’s selling it to me.
$100 for him.
Second, I’m going to sell it back to him for $100.
$100 for me.
He sells it to me for $100.
$200 for him.
I sell it to him for $100.
$200 for me.
If we do this just 9,998 more times, we’ll have generated $1,000,000 in revenue. At 1 minute per transaction, I figure we can both be running million dollar business after just 2 weeks of full-time work.
That’s a two-week vacation every single month.
Phenomenal plan.
Some of the haters are going to explode with comments about “profit” and “expenses”, but I don’t care. Cash flow is king. They can sit at home and whine about their $50,000 jobs while I’m making millions. Sure, my profit (the money leftover after expenses are taken from the revenue) is on the low side, but I can make that up in volume.
Millions.
If I do this every month, I’ll be sitting on a $12,000,000 business. I bet I can sell that for 5 times my annual profits.
Any buyers out there?
Any entrepreneurs ready to copy my business model?
Anybody have a better grasp of the difference between cash flow and profit than I do?
What’s in it for me?
Lately my son has been in full-on greed mode. It seems like every time I talk to him he asks me to give him something buy him something, do something.
“Dad, can you buy me a Yu-Gi-Oh card?”
“Dad, can you buy me a videogame?”
“Dad, can I get this?”
“Dad, can I get that?”
That is really kind of obnoxious. My response has turned into “What’s in it for me?”
Really, he’s constantly asking for stuff and he’s trying to provide no value back. What kind of lesson would I be teaching him by handing him everything he’s asking for? So, I’ve decided to make him come up with a value proposition: “What’s in it for me?”
Now, when he asks me to buy him a video game, I ask what’s in it for me.
Sometimes, he comes back with “Well nothing, you just love me.” That is garbage. I’m not going to buy him stuff just as because I love him and teach them that you can buy someone’s affection or that you should be paying for someone’s affection.
Other times he comes back with “If you buy me video game, I will clean all of the poop out of the backyard.” (We have a dog. I’m not messy.) That seems like a much better deal.
Other times, he reminds me that I owe him back-allowance. That one’s a given. If I owe him more than whatever he is asking for, he’s going to get it.
Sometimes, he’ll say that he willing to do a bunch of extra chores or something, but he is learning that he needs to trade value for value instead of assuming that every whim he’s got is going to be indulged by me just because I’m his parent and I’ve been generous in the past.
John Luke Robertson Gets Engaged: The Benefits of Marrying Young
As I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, a young Mr. John Luke Robertson is engaged to be married at the ripe age of nineteen. While I’m positive you may be reeling in awe at how anyone could fathom being married at that age, the idea isn’t such a terrible one. The Robertsons have done more than build an outdoorsman’s empire; they’ve set the standard for wholesome values and American family dynamic. Even though I’m sure the two lovebirds won’t be dining on ramen and sharing a ramshackle apartment on the cheap side of town, they have the right idea. Let’s take a moment to explore why marrying young may not be such a bad idea for those of us less waterfowl adept.
In the beginning, there was man. Man loved woman. Woman loved man. They found that they were so completely enamoured with one another that they couldn’t stand the idea of a moment apart and decided, “Hey, let’s spend every moment of or life together, forever.” There they are. Two young, ambitious people with the world ahead of them. Now what?
Likely, college is still looming for the two. Instead of struggling to work through school while paying for housing, they help each other. Two incomes mean half the burden and twice the savings. Instead of going out at night, they stay in studying, bonding, burning cookies and making lasting memories. After four years, that time spent at home has paid off. Instead of tarnishing their unblemished credit by applying for for small loans to stay afloat and likely defaulting, they’ve been paying off credit cards, paying on student loans, and thusly establishing good credit.
Speaking of homes, it’s about time for that. Thanks to the lack of partying and indecision, they left school with great GPA’s, promising careers, and a near perfect credit history. They purchase a home. Likely, a nice home with room to grow and most importantly, equity. Now that they’ve made the leap, the mortgage payment isn’t much more than the rent would have been and they can afford to pay a little extra toward the principle each month. Settling down so early has paid in dividends, via two incomes and ever increasing property value. Our couple has accomplished in five years what would take a single graduate closer to ten or fifteen to obtain.
They may or may not decide to have children. In the event that they do, the kids will have grown and left the nest before our couple has even reached 45. Diligently working and supporting each other, they have continued to save. The house is paid off and the kids are gone. Retired at 50, they own their home outright. They can relax and spend the rest of life enjoying it from a comfy porch swing. There is no struggle or financial burden. They are free, while others their age may still be living paycheck to paycheck and worrying about keeping a roof overhead.
You may still consider the idea of marrying young to be frivolous, but it is likely that at this point in your life you could have been twice as well off had you only settled down with that girl from high school who would have followed you to the end of the Earth. Following your heart may not only make you happy, it can make you stable, self sufficient and and financially secure. They don’t make a duck call for that.
Funeral Costs: How to Keep it Inexpensive, Without Being Cheap
The average funeral costs $6500. Many people die with absolutely no savings. Even if there is life insurance, it takes weeks to get the money, while a funeral is completed within a week.
Funeral homes have an easy sales pitch. Nobody wants to sully the memory of their loved ones. The tiniest hint of a guilt trip will have most families upgrading to the silk pillow in a second. Here’s a secret: Your loved one doesn’t care. I’m not recommending using garbage bags and a dumpster. By all means, treat your loved ones with care, but don’t go overboard.
Not everyone is comfortable with cremation, and some religions don’t permit it, but it is probably the least expensive way to process a body. It costs approximately $1400 to cremate a body and you can get very attractive urns for under $100. Compare that to a $3500 casket and storage & transportation fees, and–from a strictly monetary standpoint–the choice is clear.
Don’t worry too much about decorating. Flowers aren’t cheap and florists don’t tend to offer discounts to people who aren’t emotionally prepared to negotiate and who are in a time crunch to find the flowers they need. Get a few bouquets for a small display around the casket or urn, and let the rest take care of itself. Many of the guests will bring flowers, so the entrance will soon be decorated for free, and that’s the part that makes the first impression.
Shopping online can save you a lot of money on an urn. Funeral homes will try to sell you a $500 urn, which may include a 1000% markup. If you buy online, you will have to pay for overnight shipping, but that’s a small cost compared to the standard markup. You can also find a huge discount on attractive caskets by shopping outside of the funeral home. Federal law prohibits funeral homes from requiring that you buy a casket from them or charging you a fee for getting one elsewhere.
This may be the most ghoulish part of this article, but you can dig the grave yourself. It’s probably not worth it for a full-size casket, but for an urn, you can save hundreds of dollars. An urn generally only needs to be buried 18 inches deep, as opposed to the 6 feet required for caskets. Just be sure to check with the cemetery and get the burial location right. If you think it’s ghoulish to dig the grave, just picture digging it up. Not fun.
Planning a funeral is never enjoyable, and it’s often expensive. Nothing you do will make it fun, but it is possible to make it affordable.
Have you had to coordinate a funeral? Did you take the funeral director’s recommendations, or did you cut some costs?
Net Worth Update
The remodel of our inherited new house is about done. The bills have basically been paid and the insurance checks have been cashed.
Now that it’s all (more or less) done, I’m finding my financial situation has changed a bit. My credit card is paid off, except for our regular monthly expenses and a couple of remodeling expenses that will be paid off in the next week or so. Our mortgage is within site of being paid off, and we have a rental property that is mortgage-free.
With all of the changes, I took the time to measure the difference.
Let me tell you how nervous this post makes me. My business partner is under the impression that I no don’t care about our business because I no longer have any worries.
That’s crap.
Yes, our net worth has gone up $329,000. That’s not nothing, but it’s hardly enough to retire on.
$113,000 of it is in retirement accounts. I mean, great, we’re a bit ahead of where we need to be, but it’s not like that money is putting food on the table for us this week.
$177,600 of it is in our rental property. Which doesn’t start driving income until February. Today, it’s a $25,000 money sink. That’s money we would have had to spend to sell it, even if we didn’t want to keep it.
There’s a $10,000 car that we need to deal with, we’ve paid off our credit card debt, and we have an extra $10,000 in the bank.
So, yes, we are in a much better place financially. That’s a comfort, long-term. Day-to-day? Our credit card payment has been pushed to our mortgage, so that’s not extra spending money. We don’t know exactly how much of the $10,000 in the bank still needs to be spent on the house, and we don’t know how we’re going to reorganize our vehicle situation.
That’s a lot of uncertainty that, at most, involves $20,000. Again, it’s not nothing, but it’s not a lot. It won’t cover our barebones expenses for 6 months. We pay $15,000 per year just in daycare, and we need to put braces on a kid next year.
We are in a much better place, but I can’t stop hustling.
