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Paying for Rat

I’m cheap. I don’t even consider myself to be frugal. I’m cheap. A few days ago, I spent my entire year’s Halloween budget–on November 1st–so I could store my new treasures

for an entire year before using them, just to save $145.

However, there are some things that just aren’t worth going cheap.

When I first moved out on my own, a good friend walked me through the mistake of buying cheap cheese. A slice of the generic oil-and-water that some stores pass off as cheese will not cure a sandwich made from Grade D bologna.

That advice got me through some less horrible meals when I was younger.

Now, I’ve expanded the crappy cheese rule to extend to any meal I pay someone else to prepare. While I do occasionally hit a fast food restaurant when I’m traveling, I almost never do so any other time. I enjoy sitting down for a nice meal in a nice atmosphere while friendly people cater to my every whim. Well, almost every whim.

I’m not saying I go to $100 per plate steak houses every week, but I’m certainly not afraid to drop $20-$30 per meal.

My reasoning is simple: anything I can buy at a fast food restaurant or a cheap restaurant, I can make better at home for less. Why would I pay good money to sit at a sticky table and eat food that won’t let me forget it for 3 days?

If I’m going to spend the money, I’m going to eat something I either can’t make at home, or can’t make as well. Chinese food is one example. I can make it at home, but I don’t stock the ingredients, and I don’t enjoy the preparation, so I go out for it. Cheap Chinese food tends to be worse than anything else I’ve eaten, so I spring for good food. Cheap rat isn’t good rat.

How about you? What are you willing to pay full price for?

5 Things Guaranteed To Annoy Your Wife

Finance, Relationships

The grotesque nagging wife (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One from the vaults….

If you’re married, or anything close to being married, you’ve irritated your wife. Even if you think you are perfect and the epitome of unannoyingness, I promise, there has been a day when she strongly wished you traveled for a living.

It’s long been known that the two things most likely to break up a marriage are money and sex. The former because there is too much, too little, or just the right amount going to the wrong places, and the latter because there is too much, too little, it’s not with each other, or it is with each other, but you’d really prefer otherwise. If your problem is the latter, I can’t help you.

If your problem is the former, I can help you understand some things you may be doing that are driving her batty. Kill-you-in-your-sleep-and-pretend-it-was-the-dog type of batty.

1. Nagging her about her shopping, but buying whatever you want. Gentlemen, this is known as a double standard. Don’t do it. In my house, my wife’s on an allowance. It was her idea. A few months later, I realized that I needed to be on one, too. Naturally, her allowance is bigger than mine. I don’t mind the disparity, because she still smokes. If her allowance didn’t give her room to smoke and shop, her allowance would be nothing more than a polite fiction. Whatever you do, find something that works for both of you and meets both of your needs, fairly. Anything else will only build a resentment that will burn for a long time.

2. Nagging her about her shopping, yet demanding she do all of the shopping. My wife has a weakness: clearance tags. If something is on sale, there’s a good chance it’s going to come to our house. I have an aversion to shopping. I hate it. Our budget dies a little bit each time my wife shops alone. We’ve come to an agreement. Now, I do most of the shopping, so she doesn’t feel tempted. I’m learning to embrace my inner material girl so we don’t have to have “discussions” every time she steps out for milk and comes home with $100 worth of clothes for the younger brats.

3. Nagging her about her shopping. Nobody likes being nagged. If you’re having a problem that keeps repeating itself, talking about it more won’t help. Neither will talking about it louder. You need to find a way to communicate that she will hear and understand. Different people communicate in different ways. Find the way that works for both of you.

4. Nagging her. A wise man once said, if everyone around you is a jerkface, maybe the problem isn’t everyone around you. Have you ever considered the idea that the problem might be you? If nagging is the only way you have to deal with people, you need to work on that. Don’t blame her. Maybe you’re ticked off about something that isn’t irritating. If that’s the case, she certainly has the right to be annoyed that you are nagging her.

5. Going on and on about how much you’d like to be me. Yes, I live the rockstar life, driving the station wagon with 6 disc changer and all. Yes, I am the neatest thing since sliced bread, and even that was a close contest, but really, confidence is important. You don’t have to be me to be cool. You’re swell, too. You’re right, this one isn’t about money, but it’s probably still irritating.

There you have it, my perfect solution to a happy marriage: don’t nag and quit trying to be me. There are other important bits, like love, respect, and communication, but this is a good start.

What do you do that annoys your spouse?

Five Signs You Don’t Need That

Finance

Everybody occasionally buys things they don’t need, from DVDs to luxury cars. There are signs that what you’re buy may not be an actual necessity.

Here are five signs you should put that back:

You’re buying that sweater or video game for the endorphin hit, you’re shopping for the addictive high not to fill an actual need. It’s a habit that’s as hard to break as smoking, if not harder. You can’t, after all, stop shopping altogether.
You already have one. Or 10. A relative can’t turn down a sale and she buys for life. She regularly buys 3 of whatever useful gadget is available on the shopping channel. Her house has turned into a sad story of compulsive hoarding.
The rationalizations for your purchase include “It’s cool” or “My friends all have one.” If you are buying something just for the bragging rights, it has become an ego purchase, which is something to avoid. The insidious part of an ego purchase is that you have to keep topping your last purchase and the last purchase of your social circle, or the purchases lose value. It’s a vicious circle.
It doesn’t have a “place”. Where are you going to put it? Is it going to go in the corner, or is there a drawer or shelf it can live on. If there’s no play to consider “away”, you’re just buying clutter. If you must have it, go home and toss, sell, or donate 2 things to make room. If possible, do that before you actually by the new toy. If it’s important, you’ll come back for it.
You didn’t know you needed it 10 minutes ago. If you actually need it, it’s on your list, right? Impulse purchases have been the biggest budget-killer in my house. That’s why we use Alice for the household goods. If we don’t see the it, we can’t throw it in the cart at the last minute. We no longer shop with the debit card, so we have to watch what we buy. It’s embarrassing to have to undo a purchase at the checkout because I didn’t bring enough cash.

What did I miss?

Funerals Cost Too Much

Finance, Life

When my mother-in-law died, we weren’t prepared to pay for her funeral. We were three years into our debt repayment and were throwing every available cent at our last credit card. We had a couple of thousand dollars in savings, but that was earmarked for property taxes, braces, and a few other things that make money go away.

Then we found out we had a $1500 bill just to get her released and moved to the funeral home.

And catering for the funeral.

And programs.

And the grave, marker, and urn.

Scratch the last one. My mother-in-law prepaid for her grave site and had a funeral insurance policy to cover the marker, cremation, vault, and urn. She paid $800 and saved us nearly $1900 last spring.

By the end, we spent about $2500 for everything, including a reception at the funeral home.

I can’t describe how helpful that was. We couldn’t have covered it without debt, and the money we inherited was months away.

A little pre-planning on her part smoothed out the hardest time in our lives.

In 2009, the average cost for a funeral was $7,755. That’s a lot of cake for something that often catches you by surprise. In 2012, the average savings balance in the U.S. was $5,923.

Unexpected funeral expenses are a “wipe me out” expense. In a flash–a heart attack, a car accident–your life savings can get sucked into death expenses, leaving your family with nothing.

That reminds me, it’s time to buy a pair of grave plots.

The Happy Butt

Life

Do you find the cloud in every silver lining? Is the glass not only half empty, but evaporating? Do you start every day thinking

Smiley head happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

about how the effects of entropy on the universe make everything you do ultimately pointless?

You may be a pessimist.

Pessimism gets a bad rap. Without pessimists, we wouldn’t have insurance plans, missile defense systems, or Eeyore, and what would the world be without those things?

The thing you have to ask yourself is “Does the negativity make you happy?”

The next thing you have to ask yourself is whether or not you were lying with your previous answer.

If you have a negative outlook on everything, I have good news for you: it’s possible to defeat it. No matter how long you’ve been looking at the world through coffin-colored glasses, no matter how ingrained your negative slant is, it’s possible to change it.

You have to want to change it, because, as the saying goes, old habits die hard. Yippee kai yay.

You need a happy butt.

Little known fact: language shapes the way you think. If your language has no words for a concept, you will have a difficult time thinking about that concept, or even understanding it. Statistically, Asians are better at math than their western-world counterparts. Why? It’s not genetic. When a family moves to the US, the edge is lost within 2 generations. It’s not the amount of school they get. Even in backwaters with limited school access demonstrate the same abilities.

It’s the language. Euro-based languages are horrible. They are a clumsy mish-mash of crap from around the world, and the numbering system makes no sense. 11, 12, 13, huh? Spoken, that’s not a progression, it’s something we have to learn by rote. Why is 13 pronounce “thirteen”, with the ones place first, but 23 is pronounced with the tens place first, the way it is written? Where did the word “twenty” even come from? It’s obviously a horrible bastardization of “two” and “ten”, but is it self-evident? Does the progression through the decades follow some kind of rule? Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty. Nope.

The Asian languages (most of them) differ. The numeric progression is spoken in a rules-based progression that makes sense. 23 is literally “two tens three”, making learning math less about rote memorization and more about masters some simple rules.

In the western world, we are handicapped by our language, at least when it comes to math.

The rest of our thoughts are formed by language, too. Learn a language with different roots than the one your were born with and see how your perceptions change.

One of the signs of negative thinking is qualifying everything you say negatively. For example, one person might say “It’s a beautiful day, today” while Mr. Negativebritches would say “It’s a beautiful day, but it’s probably going to rain.” That’s a sad butt, err, but. Every time you qualify a sentence with a sad butt, you are reinforcing your negative view of the world.

The solution? Drop your drawers and paint on a smiley face. You need a happy but(t). You can rephrase the sentence into a happy thought without changing the sentiment or meaning in any way. Try this: “It’s probably going to rain, but it’s a beautiful day, now.” That’s a happy butt, and it reinforces the positive in your mind.

It sounds stupid, but it works. Your language shapes your life. Put a positive spin on what you say, and you will eventually start to think about life in a positive way.

Give it a shot. For the next week, every time you say something negative, qualify it with a happy butt. At the end of the week, come back here and tell me how it’s working and if you can sense a change in your mindset.

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