Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Saturday Roundup: Evil Dead

Misc

Image via Wikipedia

Last night, my wife and I went to see Evil Dead: The Musical.   I’m a die-hard zombie-movie fan, and the Evil Dead Trilogy is among my favorites.   I don’t recognize a difference between Candarian demons and zombies, so it still fits the genre.

The musical beats either of the first two movies, hands down.   I was rolling.  If you are in the Minneapolis area tomorrow, check it out at the Illusion Theater.    If you are elsewhere, watch for it.  It’s entirely worth the time and money.

Best Posts:

Sometimes, shopping can save you money, but don’t let it get out of hand.

I’ve never had food poisoning, but my wife has.  It was unpleasant.

Bacon soda.  Yum.  No further comment.

Bad marketers.  No donut.

Carnivals I’ve been in:

AAA – Save Some Cash was included in the Festival of Frugality.

The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Crack was included in Foodtastic Favorites.

If I missed anyone, please let me know.   Thanks for including me!

8 painless ways to save money

Finance

I saw this list on US News and thought I’d give my take on it.

  1. Get healthy. They are right.  It is cheaper to be healthy…in the long run.   Short-term, eating crap food is cheaper and obesity doesn’t get expensive until you are older.   But remember, long-term planning is important.  I intend to enjoy my old age, so I am working on losing weight and exercising.  Fat and lazy is easy, but it won’t be in 50 years.
  2. Rethink your auto insurance. I don’t have an argument here.  When I established my initial emergency fund, I set my deductibles to match it.  We regularly review our policies to make sure they match what we need.
  3. Improve your credit scores. I don’t know what they were thinking with this one.  If you’ve got lousy credit, it’s hardly painless to improve it.   Digging out of a pit of debt hurts.
  4. Invest on the cheap. This is another one that’s hard to argue with.  Low-fee funds are, by definition, cheaper.  Will you get a better return on a fund with higher fees?  It’s worth checking the historical return to see if the fee is justified.
  5. Think triple play. They recommend bundling your internet, TV, and phone.  It is cheaper, but I don’t recommend it.  I don’t like putting all of my eggs in one basket.  If the cable goes down, or the the power goes out, I’d still like to be able to make a phone call, if I have to.   My landline is independently powered, and I always make sure there is a corded phone plugged in somewhere.  My basic landline only runs $35/month, so a bundle won’t save anything for me, anyway.
  6. Go prepaid with your cell phone. I have a coworker who pays, on average, $5/month for his cell phone.   I use mine far more than he does.  If you don’t talk much and don’t use data or texting, this can work out well for you.
  7. Shop online. I do shop online for a lot.  I even buy my toilet paper online.  For some things, I prefer to shop locally.  When a store owner gets to know you, he can get you some fantastic deals, and give you advice that can save you a ton of money.
  8. Get cash back. I have a couple of decent cash-back credit cards, but I won’t use them.   Until all of our credit card debt is paid, I won’t consider making regular use of any form of credit.  Your mileage may vary, but that’s the condition I had to set on myself to make our debt plan work.

How many of these ideas do you use?

Bribes vs Rewards

Parenting

Rewarding good behavior
Rewarding good behavior

What’s the difference between a bribe and a reward? It’s a question that has been heavily on my mind lately. As a father of three–1, 3 and 10–motivating children occupies a lot of my thoughts. Is it possible to motivate a child and reward good behavior without resorting to a bribe?

First, let’s look at the definitions:

bribe n.
1. Something, such as money or a favor, offered or given to a person in a position of trust to influence that person’s views or conduct.
2. Something serving to influence or persuade.

re·ward n.
1. Something given or received in recompense for worthy behavior or in retribution for evil acts.
2. Money offered or given for some special service, such as the return of a lost article or the capture of a criminal.
3. A satisfying return or result; profit.
4. Psychology: The return for performance of a desired behavior; positive reinforcement.

In my mind, a reward is given either as a goal for planned activity or a surprise for good behavior.  When used for surprises, it should never be common enough to be expected.  If a child is only behaving because she is expecting a reward, it is bribed behavior.  She should always be surprised to get the reward.

Using a reward for goal setting is no different than collecting a paycheck.  Is my company bribing me to do the work I do every day?  They plan to reward or compensate me for the work I plan to do for them.  While that my be blurring the line between compensation and rewards, it is valid.  My future paycheck is the motivation for my current work.

Bribes, on the other hand, are reward for bad behavior.   If my three-year-old is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store and I promise her candy to stop, I have just taught her that the “reward” for a public tantrum is candy.   This is reinforcing negative behavior, which will only escalate in the future.   If a temper tantrum earns a candy bar, what will she get for hitting Mommy with a frying pan?

The line is further blurred by preemptive bribes.  If I tell my children there will be candy when we get home if they behave in the store, it’s still a bribe.   Promising dessert if my son cleans his room is a bribe.

So what is the difference?

Bribes reward negative behavior. Whether that is actual behavior or anticipated behavior, bribes provide a reward for it.  If you use a treat to end or preempt bad actions, you are bribing your child.

Rewards celebrate positive behavior. A promised treat for going beyond expectations or a surprise for excellent behavior is a reward.  It should never become common, or the child will discover that withholding the positive behavior will generate promises of larger rewards.  The goal is to reinforce the good to encourage positive behaviors even when there is no likelihood for reward.

For example, my son’s school is part of a reading contest.   Over a two month period, if the students read 500 pages outside of school, they will get tickets to a basketball game.  If they are in the top three for pages read, they will get personalize jerseys and on-court recognition.  My son did the math and was reading enough to surpass the 500 page goal, but not enough to get into the top three.   I offered a prize  if he made it to 2500 pages.  In my opinion, that’s a reward.  He was already going beyond the requirement.  I have provided motivation to push himself beyond what he thinks he can do. That’s positive reinforcement of good behavior.

On the other hand, when my eight-year-old was refusing to eat dinner, we offered a cookie for dessert if she ate well.    That’s reinforcing negative behavior by giving a reward for misbehaving. A bribe.

Rewards are positive responses to positive behavior to motivate future good behavior.   Bribes are rewards for negative behavior, real or anticipated, that only serve to encourage more bad behavior in the future.

 

5 Life Altering Lessons I Learned From My Debt

Finance, Life

Starting position of a chess game. House of St...
Image via Wikipedia

Several years ago, my wife and I dug ourselves into debt pretty deep.   It wasn’t as bad as some, but it was much worse than anybody could actually want.    Recognizing the problem as a problem was a life-changing event.  From there, I’ve been examining every thing else about my life.   As part of that examination, I’ve spent a lot of time really thinking about the ultimate causes of the debt and what it has taken to motivate ourselves to get rid of it.

I’ve realized a few things:

      1. The things I want right now do not matter. I own around 2000 movies.   Up until last spring, every time I went into a store that sold movies, I’d peruse the cheap rack and buy 2-3 moves.  I’d watch them all, but the vast majority were only ever watched once or twice.  The rest may as well have been rented.   I wanted them and I wanted them “right now”, but after watching them once, the value vanished.   Most things I’ve bought on a whim lost their value to me shortly after bringing them home.  Planned purchases are enjoyable longer.
      2. The things I care about do not cost money. I cannot buy a kiss from my kids, or a hug from my wife.   The school project my son did on his hero(Me!) is absolutely priceless.  The TV, the smartphone, a new car, these things are fleeting.   Teaching my kids to read or ride a bike, getting beat by a 6 year old at chess, these things will last us all forever.  It took $30,000 of unsecured consumer debt to drill that lesson home.
      3. Instant gratification is easier than security, but not nearly as gratifying. It is incredibly easy to buy what you want when you want it.    It is much harder to postpone buying something until you can afford it.   Once you build that habit, and see the savings of delayed gratification, it’s worth it.   There is a comfort in having a few months worth of expenses in an emergency fund that no amount of knickknacks can match.
      4. I like getting stuff more than I like having stuff. It’s easy to succumb to the temporary high of a quick purchase.  It’s easy to train yourself to crave that high to the point that it’s impossibly to walk out of a store without buying something.  I did that.    When I cleaned out my entire house this spring, I came to the realization that I don’t need–or even want–most of the things I own.   I wanted it once, but once I had it, the infatuation was gone.  I didn’t have many problems unloading most of my crap.  It felt good to get rid of it.
      5. Owing money sucks. The borrower is slave to the lender.   When our debt exceeded our annual income, we were working 3/4 of the time just to stay afloat.  Instead of being able to spend my time and money on the things that matter, I was forced to spend thousands of hours just covering interest and pretending to make progress on my shackles.  That’s not how I recommend spending your life.   Time is the one thing you have that you can never get back.  Don’t waste it on crap like debt.

 

Have you learned anything from your debt?

Credit Cards: My Failed Experiment

Finance

Cash
Image by BlatantWorld.com via Flickr

Back in April, we went off the cash plan.

In the two years prior to that, we paid down about $40,ooo in debt by completely forgoing credit cards.    We went on a strict budget and all of our daily expenses–other than gas for the cars–was paid in cash.   The only other exception was anything bought on the internet.  Amazingly enough, Amazon doesn’t take cash.   When that happened, the amount we spent online was taken out of the cash supply and set in a box until we could get it back in the bank.

No other exceptions.

In April, we decided that we had changed our relationship with money and could–judiciously–move back to credit card use, to take advantage of the rewards.    We’d still use the same amount we had budgeted for groceries,  clothes, and everything else.   I set up an automatic payment for the budgeted amount, so we could use the card for our daily spending and the bank would automatically pay it off every month.   What could go wrong?

Ugh.

We are not predisposed to be able to use credit cards well.   It’s just not good for us.   Credit cards  just don’t feel like real money going out.    When we were using cash for everything, we could see when money was running low, and we’d adjust our spending to stretch it out as needed.   With plastic, it just became too easy to keep spending.

For the first couple of months, it was easy to overlook the problem.   We paid my son’s vision therapy on the credit card, to get a discount on the therapy and cash in on the rewards program.    That was around $4,000.  Combined with the regular spending, it took us a couple of months to get it all paid off and current.

This month, we’ve managed to overshoot our monthly budget by $500.    We’re only halfway through the month.

This weekend, we had a fairly unpleasant conversation about money.   In the end, we decided to go back to cash-only.   It works for us, in a way that credit cards don’t.   Credit cards were a failed experiment.  We’re going back to what works.

Have you ever had to switch from cash to credit cards and back?  How did that work out?