- Bad. My 3yr old knows how the Nationwide commercial ends…including the agent's name. Too much TV. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $9,100 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DZMa #
- Watching the horrible offspring of Rube Goldberg and the Grim Reaper: The Final Destination. #
- Here's hoping the franchise is dead: #TheFinalDestination #
- Wow. Win7 has the ability to auto-hibernate in the middle of installing updates. So much for doing that when I leave for the day. #
- This is horribly true: Spending Other People's Money by @thefinancebuff http://is.gd/75Xv2 #
- RT @hughdeburgh: "You can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want." ~ Vernon Howard #
- RT @BSimple: The most important thing about goals is having one. Geoffry F. Abert #
- RT @fcn: "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." — Winston Churchill #
- RT @FrugalYankee: FRUGAL TIP: Who knew? Cold water & salt will get rid of onion smell on hands. More @ http://bit.ly/WkZsm #
- Please take a moment and vote for me. (4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper) http://su.pr/2flOLY #
- RT @mymoneyshrugged: #SOTU 2011 budget freeze "like announcing a diet after winning a pie-eating contest" (Michael Steel). (via @LesLafave) #
- RT @FrugalBonVivant: $2 – $25 gift certificates from Restaurant.com (promo code BONUS) http://bit.ly/9mMjLR #
- A fully-skilled clone would be helpful this week. #
- @krystalatwork What do you value more, the groom's friendship or the bride's lack of it?Her feelings won't change if you stay home.His might in reply to krystalatwork #
- I ♥ RetailMeNot.com – simply retweet for the chance to win an Apple iPad from @retailmenot – http://bit.ly/retailmenot #
- Did a baseline test for February's 30 Day Project: 20 pushups in a set. Not great, but not terrible. Only need to add 80 to that nxt month #
The Zombie Guide to Saving
Brains!
Nobody has ever accused a zombie of being smart. The are, after all, dead and rotting. Their primary means of education themselves is eating the brains of the living, which is hardly an efficient learning style. Besides, in a strictly Darwinian sense, their victims are among the least qualified to teach useful skills.
Zombies smell. They are little more than flesh-eating monsters. They are lousy in the sack. Yet, for all their flaws, have you ever heard of a zombie in debt or worried about financing retirement? They are obviously doing something right.
What can you learn from a zombie? That depends on the type of zombie. Not all of the life-challenged were created equal.
There are 3 main types of zombies:
1. Slow shamblers are best recognized by their lurching gait and unintelligible grunting, similar to a frat party at 3AM. They are rarely fresh specimens. Arguably the the scariest of all zeds, due to the sheer inevitability of their assault, they do always get where they are going, even if it takes a while. Trapped in a pit or a pool, they will keep trying to reach their goal. A slow shambler, were he able to effectively communicate beyond the basic “Hey, can I eat your brain?” would tell you to approach your goals like the famous tortoise: slowly. Set aside an affordable amount in savings every week, no matter what. Even if your are stuck saving just $10 each month, you will eventually get your sweet, sweet brains.
2. Voodoo zombies are the still-living, yet mindless minions on a voodoo priest. These unlucky non-corpses crossed the wrong people–usually by stealing or not repaying their debts–and ended up cursed for it. They are forced to do the bidding of their masters until such time as their debt has been repaid, if ever. Their warning is to always pay your debts and do not steal. Honest, ethical behavior is the best way to avoid this fate.
3. Runners are almost always “fresh” to the game. As they decompose, they slowly transform into slow shamblers. These fellas can often pass for the living…from a distance. By the time you get close enough to identify them as monsters, your brains are on the menu. They are capable of sprinting for short distances and, on occasion, have even been seen to run up vertical walls. To properly categorize the runners, we have to break them down into 2 sub-groups. The first sub-group is the envy of all zombies still capable of envy. They have used their skills to trap enough prey(that’s us, folks!) that they will feel no hunger for the foreseeable future. They are secure. They are the successful runners. The other sub-group tries to emulate the first, but lack both planning and follow-through. While the first group builds momentum to secure their future, the second group tends to use that momentum to smack face-first into the wall, confused at where their lunch went. Constantly charging from one thing to the next, they never manage to sink a claw into their goals. To avoid falling into the second group, you’ll have to settle on a strategy and pursue it with all the single-minded, decomposing determination you can muster.
You know what they say: “Great minds taste alike.” What kind of financial zombie are you?
Megan Fox’s Little One: The First Year Costs of Having a Baby
If you can’t get enough of Megan Fox like everybody else, you probably already know that paparazzi has spotted her with a new and conspicuous belly bump. The steamy star already gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Noah in 2012, but she also expressed a desire to have more children in the future. We just didn’t think that it would happen this soon. Luckily, Megan is blessed with celebrity wealth, so funding another newborn shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Unfortunately, most new mothers aren’t celebs. If you are a new or expecting mother, prepare yourself for your bundle of joy by familiarizing yourself with first year expenses and ways to save money.
What are the first year costs of caring for a baby?
Babies are expensive. How expensive, you ask? Well, that depends on your standard of living. It’s a pretty good bet that Megan Fox will dish out more dough on her newborn than most people have the ability to. Baby Gucci just isn’t on the shopping list for mothers who live from paycheck to paycheck. However, the essentials are already expensive enough to make most moms have a panic attack. A 2010 USDA report suggests that a typical American family spends about $12,000 during the first year on a baby. These days, that number is probably closer to $15,000.
What will most of the money go towards?
There are two major items that are an absolute must for a baby: formula/baby food and diapers. Expect to shell out about $50 per week on these things alone. That’s nearly $2,500 per year. Another big portion of your baby expenses will comprise of pricier one-time purchases including a baby stroller, crib, car seat, etc. The rest of the funds will likely go to baby clothes, childcare, and medical expenses.
How can I save money?
There are countless ways to cut the costs of having a baby, but you need to get creative to maximize your savings. If you want to have a fatter wallet at the end of that first year, here are some of the easiest and most effective ways to do so.
Take free samples during the initial hospital stay
Many baby product manufacturers supply maternity wards with free samples, but nurses sometimes forget to hand them out. Remember to ask about these samples after giving birth, and bring home as much as they will allow. You can snag useful items like: diapers, diaper bags, baby lotion, swaddling cloths, disposable bottle nipples, alcohol swabs, a thermometer, a nasal aspirator and more.
Breastfeed
A mother’s milk is the healthiest food option for a growing baby because it contains nutrients not found in many baby formulas. Since formula can be very expensive, you will save a ton of money and give your child the best nutrition possible by breastfeeding.
Get oversized baby clothes or use hand-me-downs
Babies grow at an amazingly fast rate, so always buy clothes of a bigger size. If you have close friends or family members who’ve already had a child, ask if you can use their old baby clothes.
Buy diapers, formula, and other commonly used supplies in bulk
Like with most consumer goods, you will pay less if you buy more. Stock up on the essentials early on if you don’t want to waste your money in the long run.
Related articles
5 Pain-Free Ways to Save Your Money
Everyone needs an emergency fund. More than that, you will eventually need retirement savings, a new car, a big-screen TV, or maybe just a new kidney. Whatever the reason, one day, have a comfortable savings account will make your life easier.
But, Jason, you say, it’s hard to save money! How can I start saving when I can’t make ends meet? I’ve got rent, 9 kids, and a DVD addiction that won’t quit. My mortgage is underwater, my Mercedes still has 8 years on the loan, and the Shoe-of-the-Month Club only carries Christian Louboutin’s. What can I do?
Well, I’ll reply, since I am Jason and you asked for me by name, you need to find a way to make it happen. I’d never recommend someone give up their diamond-studded kicks, but something’s gotta give. In the meantime, there are some ways you can save money without feeling the sting of delayed gratification.
1. Save your raise. When you get your next raise, pretend you didn’t. Set up an automatic transfer to stick that new 5% straight into a savings account. Don’t give yourself an opportunity to spend it.
2. Find it, hide it. When your Aunt Gertrude dies and leaves your her extensive collection of California Raisins figurines, sell them and save the money. If you find a $20 bill on the ground, throw it right into your savings account. When your 30th lottery ticket of the week gives you a $10 prize, save it! Don’t waste found money on luxuries. Use it to build your future.
3. Let it lapse. Do you have magazine subscriptions you never read? Or a gym membership you haven’t used since last winter? Panty-of-the-Month? Crack dealer who delivers? Stop paying them! Let those wasted services fall to the wayside and put the money to better use. I don’t mean flipping QVC products on eBay, either. Save the money.
4. Jar of 1s. Roughly once a week, I dig through my pockets and my money clip looking for one dollar bills. Any that I find go in a box to be forgotten. I use that box as walking-around money for our annual vacation, but it could easily get repurposed as a temporary holding tank for money I haven’t gotten to the bank, yet.
5. Round it up. Do you balance your checkbook? If you don’t, start. If you do, start doing it wrong. Round up all of your entries to the nearest dollar. $1.10 gets recorded as $2. $25.75 goes in as $26. If you use your checkbook or debit card 100 times a month, that’s going to be close to $75 saved with absolutely no effort. It even makes recording your spending easier.
There you have it, 5 easy ways to save money that won’t cause you a moment’s pain.
Do you have any tricks to help you save money?
Saturday Roundup and Updates
- Image via Wikipedia
I’ve decided to do away with the Twitter posts on Saturdays. If you want to see the glorious wisdom that is my Twitter feed, follow me on Twitter. I’m @LiveRealNow.
Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email. You get a choice between having all of the posts delivered to your inbox, or just occasional updates and deals. Both options get my Budget Lessons, free of charge.
Now, for the part you’ve all been waiting for…
The Best Posts of the Week!
Tim Ferris is giving away a trip to anywhere in the world. All you have to do is donate to his preferred charity for his birthday!
A Mirrored Memory reminds us that nobody feels old in their heart.
A law for everything and everything is a law? Why can’t people just accept occasional discomfort or unpleasantness in exchange for freedom?
My wife hates sweet potatoes. Well, she did until I introduced her to sweet-potato fries. I wonder if I can get her to try this recipe? It’s missing marshmallows, though. That’s a definite culinary failure when it comes to sweet-potatoes.
The University of Georgia is offering a free home-study food-preservation course.
Carnivals I’ve particpated in:
The Carnival of Personal Finance at NerdWallet has included Beat the Check.
The Festival of Frugality at Modern Tightwad has included The 10-Step Saving Action Plan.
5 Ways to Force Your Spouse to Get Frugal*
Communication is important in a marriage. If you can’t communicate, how are you going to get your way?** I’ve helpfully compiled the best possible ways to get your spouse on board with your budget plans.
- Don’t include her. When I absolutely, positively cannot afford to be working towards a different goal than my wife, I do my best to ignore her. I don’t tell her how much we’ve paid off, how much we have left, or what we can afford to spend on groceries. I think she enjoys not having to worry about the petty details like “Are we overdrawn?” or “Will we be eating Alpo next week?” I’ll do anything to make her life easier.
- Nag. Nothing convinces my wife to do things my way like unending scolding. If I just remind her, day and night, surely she’ll cooperate with my budgeting plans and ideas to save money, right? Every body loves the attention, and, since we got a text messaging plan, I can shoot her a message every five minutes while she’s at the store. In all seriousness, this is actually a problem and a source of friction at my house. Reminding her every time she goes to the store is not an effective strategy.
- Whine. If nagging fails, I always try to take the advice of my toddlers and whine until I get my way. “But Ho-uh-neee-eee! Why’d you buy tha-at?” It’s always been a big hit at my house. My wife appreciates the effort I put into getting the third, screechy syllable into simple words, just to try to convince her to give up or see things my way.
- Obsess. This goes hand-in-hand with both #2 and #3. If I never giver her the chance to forget about our goals, she can never stray from them. A memo in the morning, hourly text reminders, and a daily summary of our account balances and month-to-date budget compliance just keeps us working together. Everything we do can be tied back to our frugal choices and debt repayment, whether it’s a game of Sorry or a trip to a wrestling tournament.
- Yell. If all else fails, just turn up the volume. If there’s a problem, I nag at level 10. Whining loudly enough to wake the neighbors will convince her to comply with my wishes next time. This has the added benefit of allowing my kids to receive the wisdom of my experience, even if they are in the basement playing games with their friends.
*This obviously isn’t a gender-specific article, but, as a man, I write from a man’s perspective and my pronouns match my perspective.
**Sarcasm. Really. Following these rules should result in divorce, NOT happy agreement. If you are operating under this action plans, get therapy.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
