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Let me check….

A few days ago, I asked a coworker if she wanted to go out for lunch.  She said she’d have to check her bank account before she decided.

What?

If you have to check your bank balance to know if you can afford something, you can’t afford it.   It really is that simple.

Now, strict budgets aren’t for everyone, but everyone should know how much money they have available to spend.   If you don’t know what you have to spare, you need to set up a budget.

Period.

After you’ve done that, you can ignore it, with the exception of knowing how much you have available to blow on groceries, entertainment, and other discretionary purchases.

If you don’t know where your money needs to go, how can you determine how much you can spend on the things you want?

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

English: A goat
English: A goat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share.   You’re not our child’s mother.  I’ve been sleeping with the milkman.  And the goat.  Your mom is the star of my new adult website.  With the goat.  And the milkman.  I’ve got three other families, in three other cities.  I lost the house to my gambling addiction.   Those sores?  Herpesyphiligonoritis.  I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her.  The goat gave her away.  The milkman cried.   Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion.   I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis.  But I still love you.  And your sister.  Especially your sister.  She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend.  He bought a couple of cars.  He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold.   So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name.  I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars.  She wanted them.  She wanted to hurt him.  She was mean.   Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days.   When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test.   According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.”   Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity.   Lie detectors.  Yelling.  Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight.  Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage.  It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note:  The show paid $200  and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

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Paying for Rat

I’m cheap.  I don’t even consider myself to be frugal.  I’m cheap.  A few days ago, I spent my entire year’s Halloween budget–on November 1st–so I could store my new treasures

Rats in a jar
Rats in a jar (Photo credit: liftarn)

for an entire year before using them, just to save $145.

However, there are some things that just aren’t worth going cheap.

When I first moved out on my own, a good friend walked me through the mistake of buying cheap cheese.   A slice of the generic oil-and-water that some stores pass off as cheese will not cure a sandwich made from Grade D bologna.

That advice got me through some less horrible meals when I was younger.

Now, I’ve expanded the crappy cheese rule to extend to any meal I pay someone else to prepare.   While I do occasionally hit a fast food restaurant when I’m traveling, I almost never do so any other time.    I enjoy sitting down for a nice meal in a nice atmosphere while friendly people cater to my every whim.   Well, almost every whim.

I’m not saying I go to $100 per plate steak houses every week, but I’m certainly not afraid to drop $20-$30 per meal.

My reasoning is simple:  anything I can buy at a fast food restaurant or a cheap restaurant, I can make better at home for less.   Why would I pay good money to sit at a sticky table and eat food that won’t let me forget it for 3 days?

If I’m going to spend the money, I’m going to eat something I either can’t make at home, or can’t make as well.  Chinese food is one example.  I can make it at home, but I don’t stock the ingredients, and I don’t enjoy the preparation, so I go out for it.   Cheap Chinese food tends to be worse than anything else I’ve eaten, so I spring for good food.   Cheap rat isn’t good rat.

How about you?  What are you willing to pay full price for?

 


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