- Dora the Explorer is singing about cocaine. Is that why my kids have so much energy? #
- RT @prosperousfool: Be the Friendly Financial “Stop” Sign http://bit.ly/67NZFH #
- RT @tferriss: Aldous Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’ in a one-page cartoon: http://su.pr/2PAuup #
- RT @BSimple: Shallow men believe in Luck, Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson #
- 5am finally pays off. 800 word post finished. Reading to the kids has been more consistent,too. Not req’ing bedtime, just reading daily. #
- Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse: morbid story from my childhood. Still enthralling. #
- RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $7,400 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DDPy #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16
Girls Don’t Fart
A few years ago, I was playing a game a friend was developing. As part of the setup he asked me to tell him something I believed as a child but now knew not to be true. My answer? Girls don’t fart.
When I was at summer camp one year, a camp counselor gave me that glorious and confusing bit of knowledge. He sounded serious and I was young, with no sisters. Naturally, this entered my personal Canon of Life’s Facts. Over the next few years, I’d get into arguments with my friends that went something like “I don’t care if you have 10 sisters! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Yes, I could be a little jerk. I don’t think that misconception was actually cleared up until high school. It’s not that I actively believed it, but I had no reason to think about it. That was just the way it was. Girls certainly didn’t fart around me.
I’m married with three kids, two of which are beautiful(and gassy!) little girls. A belief doesn’t get more shattered than this one.
Now, some 25 years later, I find myself occasionally running into other beliefs that I’ve seemingly always had, but have no reason to keep. These are–or were–part of my personal Canon. Once accepted, even if they were only accepted implicitly, they have been unexamined and unquestioned. It’s just the way it is.
For many years, I thought debt was normal. Everybody had payments. Everybody used credit cards. Everybody lived beyond their means. Right? No. The reality is that it’s not everybody, and the people who are living beyond their means are living a broken system. Normal is spending actual money for things you can actually afford. Normal is not paying for the use of someone else’s money. Everything else is dysfunctional.
Another Canonical Misconception was that money could take care of itself. I didn’t know anybody with a budget. The closest anybody came was the “balance available” line on an ATM receipt. Couple this with an unquestioning acceptance of debt, and it’s no wonder how I ended buried under my credit cards. Having a budget is important. Knowing where your money has gone and where it is supposed to go is important. Without this, you’ll never be in control of your finances.
I’ve often thought that you get what you pay for. Assuming that more money somehow causes something to be of better quality or utility is dangerously expensive. There is a level that means something is so cheap it can’t possibly be worthwhile, but there is a huge spectrum of quality above the garbage price point. There is also a line above which no manufacturing can improve the cost and you are paying strictly for the brand or the ego boost. In today’s world, with stores and manufactures all around the world just a click away, it’s easier than ever to find a good deal for a good price.
These are just a few of the ideas I’ve held without question until they were shattered suddenly. Now, I try to examine my beliefs and make sure they still make sense in the face of my current knowledge and experience.
What Canonical Misconceptions have you overcome?
This post is a blast from the past. It ran a couple of years ago and I think it’s worth reviving.
Insurance
On Tuesday, a potential customer took my business partner and I out for sushi.
The sushi bar was fun. There was a little canal going around the bar. The canal had little boats. The boats had little plates. The plates had sushi. Lots and lots of sushi. When you wanted something, you just reached out and took it.
Yum.
My only complaint with the place is the width of the chairs. If you’re going to use narrow chairs, you really shouldn’t choose chairs with armrests.
Between the narrow chairs, the armrests, and my fat butt, my cell phone got knocked off of my belt.
Crap.
I normally check my money clip, car keys, pocket knife, and cell phone every time I stand up, but didn’t this time.
I noticed it was missing 15 miles later.
Of course, when I called, no one answered my phone.
The restaurant hadn’t seen my phone.
When we went back to retrace our steps, my phone was nowhere to be found. Some busboy got a nice tip that night.
Now, I don’t carry insurance on my cell phone. I still have every cell phone I’ve ever owned, in working condition. Well, minus one, now. At $5/month, that has saved me more than $1000 over the years.
Of course, it’s a bit painful this week.
Thankfully, I sock a bit of money away every month to cover things that break. It’s my warranty fund. That, combined with a good(hopefully) find on eBay, means that losing my phone, while irritating, isn’t going to break my budget. It won’t actually touch my budget in any way.
On a side note, a parking ramp with a flat, “all night” charge and a lost ticket fee makes me angry.
It’s My Fault So Stop Me Now
One of my biggest problems with maintaining a goal is follow-through. Three weeks or six months into pursuing a goal, it becomes incredibly easy to rationalize setbacks. If my back hurts, it’s easy to skip some sit-ups. If a custom knife maker offers me a good deal, it’s easy to drop a significant part of my discretionary budget on a really nice knife. The rationalizations come pouring in when I see a good deal on Amazon. “I need to read that book” or “I’ve been waiting for the move forever.” The excuses don’t matter. As long as they are coming in, I will eventually cave to my inner impulse demon. How do I avoid that?
I try to make myself accountable to as many people as possible. At the beginning of the year, I posted my 30 Day Projects here, for the world to see. I post updates on a regular basis. Admitting my failure with the sit-ups was surprisingly difficult. I made myself accountable and fell short. That’s hard. Thankfully, none of you came around with a sjambok to make me regret my slip-up. When I was doing push-ups, my wife was more than willing to let me know when I slipped into bad form to try to squeeze out a few more before I collapsed. I count on that.
I count on my wife to help me stay on the right path. Eliminating our debt is easily the longest goal either of us have ever set for ourselves. Mutual support and mutual accountability are our main methods to maintain that goal. It is, after all, a marathon, not a sprint. When I want to buy more cookware, she reminds me that we already have something to serve the purpose. When she wants to buy the kids new jammies, I remind her that they have more than can fit in their dressers already. Neither of us are afraid to tell the other to return bad purchases to the store if it’s not in our budget. When we go shopping, we go through everything in the cart before we get to the checkout, to decide if we really need everything we picked up. We support each other.
If I couldn’t make myself accountable to my wife, my family, my friends, and–last, but certainly not least–the three people reading this, I would fold in the face of my marshaled rationalizations and leave my goals in the oft-regretted gutter. Thanks for that.
How do you keep yourself on track?
Update: This post has been included in the Money Hackers Carnival.
3 Habits Every Soon-to-be-Successful Debtor Needs to Cultivate
Getting out of debt is primarily a matter of changing your habits. We’ve all heard people swear by skipping your morning cup of coffee to get rich, but that’s just a small habit. Much more important are the big habits, the lifestyle habits. Here are 5 habits to cultivate for financial success.
Frugality
“Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship”– Benjamin Franklin
As Chris Farrel wrote in “The New Frugality“, being frugal is not about being cheap, but finding the best value for your money. When my wife and I had our second baby, we couldn’t justify spending $170 on a breast pump, so we bought the $30 model. It was quite a bit slower than the expensive model, and was only a “single action”, but for $140 of savings, it seemed worth the trade. Six weeks later, it burned out so we bought a new one, still afraid to justify $170 on quality. This thing took at least 45 minutes to do its job. When it burned out 6 weeks later, we decided to go with the high-end model. This beauty had dual pumps, “baby-mouth simulation” and it was fast. The time was cut from a minimum of 45 minutes to a maximum of 15. That’s 3 hours of life reclaimed each day fro $140. Six months of breastfeeding for each of two kids means my wife regained 45 days of her life in exchange for that small amount of money. At the rate of 6 weeks per burnout, we would have gone through 8 cheap pumps, costing $240. The high-end unit was still going strong when we weaned baby #3. Buying quality saved us both time and money. I wish we would have gone with the good one from the start. Sometimes, the expensive option is also the cheap option.
Maturity
- Image via Wikipedia
- Image via Wikipedia
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.” -Joshua Loth Liebman
Being a mature, rational adult is hard. It means accepting delayed gratification over the more enjoyable instant variety. We save for retirement instead of charging a vacation. It takes a lot of restraint to put off buying the latest toys, clothes, gadgets, cars or whatever else is currently turning your crank until you actually have the money to actually afford it. It means planning your future instead of looking like a surprised bunny caught in a spotlight every time your property taxes come due. (Who knew that the year changed every year? Do they really expect annual payments annually? Geez! There’s so much to learn!) It means thinking about your purchases and buying what you actually need, actually want, and will actually use instead of resorting to retail therapy whenever you feel like a sad panda. The only benefit to mature, rational management of your finances is that, given time, you will have the security of knowing that, no matter what happens, you will be okay. That’s a huge benefit.
Pleasure
[ad name=”inlineleft”]
“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.” – Thomas Jefferson
If it hurts, you won’t do it. You have to learn to take pleasure from from things that won’t make you broke and you have to learn not to hate putting off the things you can’t afford. Take pleasure in the little things. Enjoy the time with your family. Presence means so much more than presents. So many people never learn how to enjoy themselves. Take the time to experience life and enjoy doing it.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.
Why do you need a trailer?
As I mentioned before, we recently bought a Chevy Tahoe. When we bought it, we had a Ford F150 and a Dodge Caliber that we could have traded in, but decided to sell on our own, instead.
About a month ago, we sold the truck. If you’ve never owned a truck, you probably don’t realize how handy they are to have. From hauling brush to moving furniture to donating large amount of crap to Goodwill, we used our truck.
We’ve also been on a mission to replace all of our old crappy stuff with nicer things, without spending a ton to make that happen. We’ve been selling stuff on Craigslist, then taking that money to buy other stuff we’re finding good deals on.
We found a 4×8 utility trailer for $300. It came home with us. The first thing I heard was “Why do you need a trailer?”
Now, we could have made do with delivery fees or rental trucks, but that seemed silly to me.
- We recently replaced our living room couches. One of our cats had mistaken one of them for a litter box. No amount of enzyme cleaner gets that smell out of a couch cushion. Shortly after that, my fat a** popped two of the springs out of the bottom. Bad couch. We found a good deal on brand new replacements, but the delivery fee would have been $80.
- My wife found a beautiful entertainment center last week that matched the corner entertainment center we already have. We don’t need another entertainment center, but after convincing the seller to sell us the side units without the center unit, we have glass-doored bookshelves that exactly match the largest piece of furniture we own. Without the trailer, we would have had to rent a truck to get them home.
- Tomorrow, we’ll be taking the last load of stuff out of my mother-in-law’s house. Without the trailer, that would be several trips in the car.
We’ve had the thing for 3 weeks and it has almost paid for itself in time and money. I think that makes for a good investment. I don’t expect to buy a new living room set every month, but it’s nice to be able to deal with large things when the need arises.
