Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Focusing on the Now

Life, Relationships

Delorean DMC-12
Delorean DMC-12 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My company uses a service called KnowYourCompany, that sends three emails each week to the entire staff.   Each email asks a question that the staff can either respond to publicly, or just to the company leadership team.

The questions follow a formula.

On Monday, we get an email asking what we are working on.  This allows us to see what everyone is doing, and in theory, makes offering your skills easier to do because you can see what you might be able to help with.

On Wednesday, the question is something about the company or our interaction with the company.  One week this question was as simple as “Are there any company policies that aren’t completely clear?”

On Friday, the question is more personal.  It’s a getting-to-know-each-other question.  Last Friday’s question was “What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done before?”

I found that I don’t have an answer.

Right now, I don’t have any long-term goals.  Recently, my personal life has been complicated enough that the idea of planning for later this year–much less the next 5 or 10 years–is more than I can deal with.

My side hustle goals are focused entirely on what needs to happen in the next week.  Work goals are only a month out.    My personal goals involve making it through the next few days without letting anything collapse.

Sometimes, life kicks you in the crotch so hard, you have to let the future worry about itself while you focus on what’s happening right now.  Without a functional present, the future doesn’t matter.  You have to focus on the Now first, or everything else evaporates.

It’s not a great situation, but it is an interesting perspective.  I’ve spent so much of the last decade focusing on what comes next that what’s happening right now has suffered.

Focus on Now.  Sometimes, What’s Next can take care of itself for a while.

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-23

Misc

  • Uop past midnight. 3am feeding. 5am hurts. Back to bed? #
  • Stayed up this morning and watched Terminator:Salvation. AWAKs make for bad plot advancement. #
  • Last night, Inglorious Basterds was not what I was expecting. #
  • @jeffrosecfp It's a fun time, huh. These few months are payment for the fun months coming, when babies become interactive. 🙂 in reply to jeffrosecfp #
  • RT @BSimple: RT @bugeyedguide: When we cling to past experiences we keep giving them energy…and we do not have much energy to spare #
  • RT @LivingFrugal: Jan 18, Pizza Soup (GOOOOOD Stuff) http://bit.ly/5rOTuc #budget #money #
  • Free Turbotax for low income or active-duty military. http://su.pr/29y30d #
  • To most ppl,you're just somebody [from casting] to play the bit part of "Other Office Worker" in the movie of their life http://su.pr/1DYMQZ #
  • RT @MoneyCrashers: Money Crashers 2010 New Year Giveaway Bash – $8,300 in Cash and Amazing Prizes http://bt.io/DQHw #
  • RT: @flexo: RT @wisebread: Tylenol, Motrin, Rolaids, and Benadryl RECALLED! Check your cabinets: http://bit.ly/4BVJfJ #
  • New goal for Feb. 100 pushups in 1 set. Anyone care to join me? #
  • RT @BSimple: Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow"— Robert Kiyosaki So take action now. #
  • RT @hughdeburgh: "Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now." ~ Sophia Loren #
  • Chances of finding winter boots at a thrift store in January? Why do they wear our at the worst time? #
  • @LenPenzo Anyone who make something completely idiot proof underestimates the ingenuity of complete idiots. in reply to LenPenzo #
  • RT @zappos: "Lots of people want to ride w/ you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus w/ you…" -Oprah Winfrey #
  • RT @chrisguillebeau: "The cobra will bite you whether you call it cobra or Mr. Cobra" -Indian Proverb (via @boxofcrayons) #
  • RT @SuburbanDollar: I keep track of all my blogging income and expenses using http://outright.com it is free&helps with taxes #savvyblogging #
  • Reading: Your Most Frequently Asked Running Questions – Answered http://bit.ly/8panmw via @zen_habits #

Teaching My Child about Money in a Way I Was Not Taught

Finance

When I was in high school and working 15 to 20 hours a week, my mom gave me free rein to use the money I earned as I would like.  Actually, she said nothing to me about saving for college or putting some money into savings.

When I had friends who complained that they had to put away some of their earnings, I commiserated with them.  How unfair of their parents to make them save some of their money!  They worked hard for their money, often at crappy part-time jobs.  They deserved to spend the money any way they saw fit.

The way I saw it, why save for college?  According to financial aid rules, if the student has any savings, she would have to use the majority of it to pay for college.  How unfair.  To add insult to injury, if prospective college students have some savings, they would qualify for less financial aid, which often meant fewer student loans.

The injustice. 

Yes, it was better to spend my hard earned money than save it and be penalized.

No one told me differently.  In fact, many people in my family agreed with me and encouraged me to buy a used car to get to and from my job.   Of course, I paid the loan payments for the car, the gas I used and my insurance out of money from my job.  That was a responsible use of money, but I also went out to eat with friends, a lot.  At 16, I was going out to eat with my friends twice a week at least.

However, my plan worked perfectly.  When I went to college, I didn’t have to use any of my hard earned cash.  No, not me, because I hadn’t saved anything.  Instead, I left college with nearly $20,000 in student loan debt.  I took two years off and paid down as much student loan debt as I could, getting it down to about $8,000, but then I went to graduate school and took on more student loan debt.  I graduated with nearly $25,000 in debt total.  I am still paying on it today, 13 years later.

Now that I am the parent, I am one of those “awful” parents who makes her kids save.  My son knows when he gets his allowance, some goes to save, some goes to donate, and some goes to spend.  True, it makes me cringe when he uses his spend money on little trinkets like temporary tattoos, stickers, and gum, but I keep silent.  He did the work to earn the money, and he can spend it as he likes.  However, I am inflexible with saving; that money must be set aside.  When he goes to college, I expect that he will have to use the majority of that money.  Rather than seeing it as a waste, I see it as an important component of his financial education.  Spending his money to pay a portion of his college education will hopefully make him take college more seriously.

Meanwhile, I have already begun having chats with him about money, spending, and budgeting.  He watches his dad and I work hard to pay down our debt with gazelle intensity.  He sees me use a calculator at the grocery store to see how much our groceries will be.

Ultimately, he will make his own financial decisions as he grows up, but I plan to teach him throughout these important years so that even if he turns into a spendthrift, he will have a firm financial understanding to revert to as he ages.  While my mom taught me how to stretch money further, she never taught me how to save; I hope saving is a lesson my son takes with him throughout his adulthood.

How do you teach your kids about money management?

Melissa writes at Fiscal Phoenix where she encourages people to rise from the ashes of their financial mistakes as she and her husband are doing.

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Carnival Roundups: The Weaponized Syphilis Edition

Life, Misc

Last weekend, I was in Denver for the Financial Blogger Conference.  Last week, I had a sore throat that got worse each day until my tonsils started touching on Friday.  I could barely talk, so I went to the doctor, then to bed.

It apparently wasn’t strep throat, but beyond that, it could be anything from motaba to weaponized syphilis*.

This is one of those occasions when I’m happy to be living in the future, where a quick trip to the clinic can knock out what would have been hopeless and fatal and few hundred years ago.  Antibiotics and a day spent in bed watching super hero movies made me better.  That beats bloodletting any day.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Yakezie Carnival:  FINCON Edition hosted by Finance Product Reviews

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Retirement #36 hosted by Making Sense of Cents

Carnival of Personal Finance #377 hosted by Money Life and More

Yakezie Carnival:  Labor Day Edition hosted by Stock Trend Investing

Yakezie Carnival:  The Best of Summer Edition hosted by On Target Coach

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Simple Finance Blog

Carnival of Retirement #34 hosted by My Family Finances

Lifestyle Carnival #17 hosted by The Free Financial Advisor

Yakezie Carnival:  Dog Days of Summer Edition  hosted by Frugal Portland

Carnival of Money Pros: Back to School Edition hosted by See Debt Run

Nerdy Finance #7 hosted by Nerd Wallet

Yakezie Carnival hosted by The College Investor

Yakezie Carnival – Rescue Edition hosted by See Debt Run

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #45 hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Aaron Hung

Carnival of Retirement #32 hosted by Young Family Finance

Thanks for including my posts.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

* Weaponized Syphilis

This involves giving each of the syphilis spirochetes an M16 and a Manifest Destiny indoctrination before releasing them into the wild.  The transport mechanism (the “insertion method”) remains as fun as ever.

Have a great weekend!

 

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Carnival Roundup: Sick

Finance

Last Friday, my youngest daughter woke me up at 3AM by puking in my bed.  Saturday, my son came down with a fever that we discovered on Wednesday was part of a nasty sinus infection.    Sunday, my wife appeared to catch the flu that she was kind enough to share with me on Tuesday.   Thursday, my youngest caught a horrible cold that’s had her coughing hard enough to feel nauseous.  Only my six-year-old has escaped unscathed.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Money Master Mom

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Family Money Values

Carnival of Retirement #59  hosted by Midlife Finances

Yakezie Carnival hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Money Pros      hosted by The Happy Homeowner

Carnival of Retirement #61  hosted by Free at 33

Yakezie Carnival hosted by Debt Black Hole

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #71 hosted by Debt Round Up

Carnival of Retirement #60  hosted by Master the Art of Saving

Yakezie Carnival hosted by NZ Muse

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Money Reasons

Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Vanessa’s Money

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #69 hosted by Savvy Scot

Yakezie Carnival   hosted by The Frugal Toad

Lifestyle Carnival   hosted by Savvy Scot

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Drop That Debt

Carnival of Retirement #56 hosted by Making Sense of Cents

Y & T’s Weekend Ramblings  hosted by Young & Thrifty

Yakezie Carnival  hosted by The Amateur Financier

Lifestyle Carnival  hosted by Free at 33

Yakezie Carnival   hosted by KNS Financial

Carnival of Money Pros   hosted by The Ultimate Juggle

Lifestyle Carnival  hosted by Blue Collar Workman

Y & T’s Weekend Ramblings  hosted by Young & Thrifty

Finance Carnival for Young Adults  hosted by 20s Finances

Carnival of Money Pros    hosted by Cash Net USA

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #66 hosted by Vanessa’s Money

Carnival of Retirement #53 hosted by Good Financial Cents

Thanks for including my posts.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!